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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode starts one evening above Jon’s house. Jon’s car is parked outside. The door opens and Liz walks out of it, a screaming Jon is close behind)
Jon: (lividly) NO! You CANNOT go with us! (The camera pans to show Garfield clinging to Jon’s leg)
Garfield: Whimpers
Jon: Garfield, I promised Liz a night out with just the two of us! (He picks up his cat) Besides… (He sets Garfield down inside) Grunt! (and closes the door. Garfield opens the pet door and looks up at him, grinning)
Garfield: Chuckles
Jon: (continuing and pointing) You're not allowed in Vito’s any more! Not after what you did last time there. Scowl! (He leaves with Liz. Garfield’s smile fades and he returns inside. As Jon and Liz hold hands on the way to the car, Garfield and Odie both hang their heads sorrowfully)
Garfield: Moan…
Odie: Whimpers (Outside, Jon can be heard starting the car)
Garfield: No, we’re not giving up. Wait here. (He points at the floor and takes off, quickly returning with a box of suction cups. Odie peers inside)
Odie: (loosely translated) What are those?
Garfield: Suction cups. I’ve been saving them for an emergency, (He sets the box down)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (continuing) And right now, not getting to go to Vito’s (He holds his finger up) is an emergency.
Odie: Ohhhhh. (Garfield grabs a couple of suction cups and holds them in each paw)
Garfield: Here, put one on each paw, and do what I do.
(Later, Jon and Liz are on their way to Vito’s, unaware of the stowaway pets clinging to the suction cups attached on the roof. While Garfield is calm and collected, Odie looks a bit more terrified of letting go)
Odie: Sputters
Liz: So, (Jon looks at her, then back on the road) how did he get himself banned from Vito’s?
Jon: I think it was the trick with the bungee cord. (A flashback plays of Vito at his counter)
Vito: Let us see, table eight ordered a plate of pasta (He sets a plate of pasta on the counter) with meat sauce, (While Vito’s back is turned, Garfield bounces on the bungee cord, grabbing the pasta from the countertop and bounces back up before Vito can spot him)
Garfield: Laughs (Vito sets another plate down)
Vito: (continuing) A Chicken Parmesan with a side of Penne, (Once again, Garfield steals it and takes it away)
Garfield: Laughs
Vito: (continuing) a plate of spaghetti marinara… (He points up, but he suddenly realizes something is missing. He looks around) hey, (Garfield misses the spaghetti grab) where did all the other dishes go? (He bounces onto Vito, sending him face first into the spaghetti)
Garfield: Nervous laughs
Vito: Grunt! (His face is covered with spaghetti and sauce. He blinks twice and glares at the conniving cat)
Garfield: Uh, (He holds his finger up) could I get an order to go? (Vito shakes his head and waves his fist at Garfield)
Vito: You pasta-pilfering pussycat! (He wags his finger at him) You fettuccine-filching feline!
Garfield: Snickers (For his grand finale, he grabs an unguarded pizza, winks at Vito. and springs back up)
Vito: Grunt! (Garfield bolts out the front door)
Garfield: Laughs (However, he forgot to loosen the bungee cord from his waist. It tightens, causing him to drop the pizza and run faster. Back inside, Vito is over a cauldron of marinara stirring it)
Vito: Ah, the marinara sauce. (The bungee cord yanks Garfield back inside)
Garfield: YAAHHH!
Vito: She’s perfect, truly throw myself into everything I cook. (Literally, as Garfield whacks the chef in the back, knocking him halfway into the vat of sauce) Gurgling (Vito kicks his legs as Garfield hangs around above him. The flashback ends there)
Jon: And after they hauled Vito out of the marinara sauce and gave him artificial respiration,
Liz: Laughs
Jon: (continuing) He banned Garfield from his restaurant. In fact, he banned ALL animals. I can’t even take Odie in.
Liz: So I guess we won’t be seeing Garfield or Odie at Vito’s for a while.
Jon: They wouldn’t DARE (Both pets peer into the car through the back window) to try to get in there.
Garfield and Odie: Snicker (They look at each other and nod)
(Soon, Liz and Jon arrive at Vito’s and are seated at a table. Vito serves them)
Vito: Here you are, Mr. Arbuckle, Vito’s lasagna just for the two of you.
Liz: Mm, smells delicious!
Vito: It’s because it IS delicious. (He sets the plates in front of his guests. Garfield watches hungrily from the window)
Garfield: (longingly) Oh, Vito’s lasagna. So close and yet so far. (He gets away from the window)
Odie: Hm?
Garfield: The lasagna just sits there,
Odie: Mm! (Garfield points vaguely with his thumb)
Garfield: (continuing) looking delicious, mocking me,
Odie: Hm! (Garfield begins pacing. Each step makes a squeaky suction sound as neither he or Odie bothered to remove the suction cups from their feet. Odie does it twice as much as he walks on all fours)
Garfield: (continuing) Allowing itself to be consumed by others!
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: There must be a way to get us in there where that lasagna is. (He taps his head) This is called thinking, Odie. You oughta try it sometime.
Odie: (nodding) OK.
Garfield: Huh. Laughs (He smiles. An idea has come to him and he takes off, no longer with the suction cups. Odie follows)
Garfield and Odie: Pant (They run into a clothing store with a logo of a yellow star with a red-orange K on it. They reemerge wearing outfits that resemble those the twins dress them up in: pink dress and wig for Garfield, black dress and sunglasses for Odie, that type of outfit)
Odie: Ta-da! Complaining mutters (He doesn’t like the outfit much possibly due to the high heels he has to wear)
Garfield: Don’t complain. (He points) You’re just jealous because I have the legs (He lifts his dress and both pets look down at Garfield’s legs) for this.
(Back at the restaurant, things are going swimmingly for Jon and Liz. Vito stands next to them)
Vito: It is always a pleasure to welcome you into my humble ristorante, Mr. Arbuckle, providing you come without the cat. (Jon eats a piece of lasagna)
Jon: Chewing noises I told Garfield he HAD to stay home, and he obeys me, (He starts cutting another piece with his knife) because I’m firm, and… Gasp! Gulp! (He sees Garfield and Odie burst through the door and he and Liz instantly recognize them. The pets take seats at the table with them)
Liz and Jon: Huh?
Vito: Ah, you brought your little bambinas!
Odie: Yeah! (Garfield nods, rolling with the idea that they are Jon’s children)
Vito: (continuing) And how charming they are! (He zips away. Jon is not having any of Garfield’s antics)
Jon: Garfield!
Garfield: (in a high, disguised voice) Garfield? (He looks around, as if not knowing anyone with that name) Where is that handsome cat?
Jon: I am going to take you home and lock you in the basement until your… (Before Jon can finish that threat, he is turned around by a random hand)
Mr. Barker: Arbuckle!
Jon: GASP! (The hand that grabbed him was his boss’s hand)
Mr. Barker: What a nice surprise running into you here!
Jon: Nervous chuckle Mr. Barker, chuckle, yes! Liz, this is Mr. Barker. (He gestures to each of them as he introduces them and points up) I do cartoons for a magazine he publishes.
Liz: Nice to meet you, Mr. Barker.
Garfield: Ahhh! (He rubs his gloved paws together greedily and Odie lets his tongue hang. Both of them gaze at the unfinished lasagnas on Jon’s and Liz’s plates)
Mr. Barker: You know, Arbuckle, (With the humans distracted, the disguised pets quickly and sneakily swipe some food and eat it. Cut to Mr. Barker, who points at Jon) I was thinking you weren’t the right kind of person to fit in with my magazine.
Jon: You’re firing me?
Mr. Barker: I was considering it, but seeing you here with your lovely family.
Jon: (stuttering) F-f-f-f-family? (He looks at the table and all the members of his “family”)
Odie: Oh…
Garfield: Snickers
Odie: Uh-uh. (Both he and his fat feline friend grin and wave at Mr. Barker)
Mr. Barker: I misjudged you! Families are the bedrock of society. I like employing a man with a lovely family! How long have you two been married? (This comment obviously catches Liz by surprise)
Liz: (stuttering) M-Married? Oh, ho, no, we’re not… (As she tries getting up, Jon steps over behind her chair and pushes her back down)
Jon: Uh, Liz and I have been married for… nervous chuckle… How long is it dear? (Liz glares at Jon)
Liz: Mm-hmm. Five years.
Jon: Ten years. (He and Liz say different numbers of years at the same time) Uh, five years.
Liz: Ten years.
Mr. Barker: Hey, I forget how long I've been married, too! The point is you have these two LOVELY (He bends down as Garfield shoves another piece of lasagna into his mouth) daughters.
Garfield: Heh… (He waves his paw, as if to say, “Oh, stop it.” Jon scrambles to the side of the table and clings to the chair to prevent falling)
Jon: Uh, Vito, more lasagna!
Vito: Come right up, Mr. Arbuckle! (His delivery boy is next to him helping out)
Delivery Boy: I never knew Mr. Arbuckle had kids. (The chef leans toward him and whispers)
Vito: I didn’t want to say anything, but the one on the right, (He points behind him with his thumb) she has the face of a puppy dog. (This gets a laugh from the Delivery Boy) More Vito’s lasagna on the way!
(The night continues. Myron walks up to Vito’s and Nermal sprints across the street toward the restaurant. Myron sees the kitten coming and greets him)
Myron: Hiya, Nermal! (He waves) Whatchu been up to?
Nermal: Aw, same thing as always. Just being adorable. (The delivery boy bursts out of the restaurant carrying 16 pizzas in his hands) Mmm-mm! Vito’s sure smells great! (They watch him leave)
Myron: Oh ho, sure does! Wish I could get me some of that delicious food. (Just then, truck arrives, and parks in front of the restaurant)
Nermal: Wha-? (Eddie Gourmand pops out of the passenger side of the van, holding a microphone)
Eddie Gourmand: This way! (The cameraman swings around, recording Eddie for his TV show) Oh the viewers of my show are absolutely
Nermal: Huh?
Eddie Gourmand: (continuing) Gonna love this!
(Inside, Garfield and Odie are licking their plates)
Garfield and Odie: Nom-nom-nom
Jon: Moan (Liz leans over and whispers to him)
Liz: Jon, tell him the truth! Tell him we aren’t married and these aren’t our daughters!
Jon: (whispering) But he’s my boss, and he thinks it’s nice that I have a wife and kids!
Liz: Huh? (Suddenly, Eddie bursts into the restaurant)
Eddie Gourmand: Hey ho, food fanatics! (He waves his hands like jazz hands for the camera to see) This is everyone’s favorite food critic, (He starts spinning and then strikes a pose) Eddie Gourmand! Laughs Coming to you live from Vito’s pizzeria! (The camera looks at Vito, who is serving the pets the next course)
Vito: Bonjourno! (Eddie grabs the camera and points it back toward himself)
Eddie Gourmand: Vito’s is a fabulous place to revel in ravioli and munch on manicotti! (He winks)
Vito: One side! (He has just set a plate of spaghetti on the table that Garfield and Odie are chewing on, each slurping up a strand) Excuse me, Mr. Gourmand, (He hustles back behind the counter to make more food) more pasta for table two!
Eddie Gourmand: Ooh! Let’s see who’s having this feast at table two! (The camera shows Jon and his “family”. Jon is smiling nervously and Vito sets a large tray of lasagna in the middle of it. Mr. Barker walks up and stands behind Jon)
Mr. Barker: Aw, I like a man who cares enough about his children to feed them well! They sure have happy appetites! (The cameraman shows the pets slurping up the same strand, much like Lady and the Tramp, but without the romance)
Garfield and Odie: Slurping noises (Garfield, seeing Odie on the other side, is quickly disgusted and lets Odie have it)
Garfield: Yuck!
Odie: Whimper
(Outside, Nermal and Myron cling to the windowsill and peer inside)
Nermal: Hey, isn’t that Garfield?
Garfield: (from inside) Mm-mm-mm!
Myron: (nodding) Yeah, that’s Garfield. I know that sound anywhere. They’re having a feast in there! How do we get ourselves some of that? (Nermal hops down from the sill and devises a plan)
Nermal: We need dresses and wigs! (Myron hops off) Where are we gonna…? (He takes off for the same store that Garfield and Odie ran into earlier. Myron follows closely behind)
Myron: I’ll do anything for Italian food! (They both run inside)
Nermal: Huh! I can’t believe it! (Nermal exits wearing a blonde wig, glasses, a pink shirt, a skirt, and tennis shoes. Myron has a brown wig with two ponytails, a white shirt with dots, pants held up with suspenders, and brown shoes) I’m even CUTER this way! (He examines his outfit)
(Back in the restaurant, Mr. Barker introduces Jon to the world)
Mr. Barker: This is Jon Arbuckle, he’s a cartoonist (He holds his finger up) who works for my magazine.
Jon: Chuckles (He nods, still grinning nervously)
Eddie Gourmand: Ohhh! (He steps over and stands behind Jon) Hello, Mr. Arbuckle! (Pronounced with a long “u” sound, like “cube”)
Mr. Barker: And this is his wife, Liz, (She waves) and their two beautiful daughters!
Garfield: Laughs (He and Odie both smile. The door opens off-screen and Myron and Nermal appear to get a piece of the action, and of the food)
Myron: Hey, let us have some of that! (Nermal pops up next to Odie) Ahem, (He uses a disguised voice to blend in) let us have some of that!
Mr. Barker: Excuse me, there are FOUR beautiful daughters!
Jon: Yelp! (He grabs his head. The situation is quickly escalating)
(That same night on the farm, Jon’s parents and brother watch on their old TV set)
Eddie Gourmand: Jon Arbuckle, you and your wife, Liz, have such LOVELY children! (Of course, everyone is shocked to hear that)
Doc Boy: My brother is married, (He gestures to the TV with a mug in his hand) with four kids?!
Mrs. Arbuckle: Oh, dad, (Mr. Arbuckle looks at his wife) it says on TV that Jon not only married Liz, but that they have four daughters!
(Liz’s parents, Robert and Betty, are also watching the show and are just as, if not more surprised at the news)
Mr. Wilson: Why didn’t our daughter tell us she married that… cartoonist? (Mrs. Wilson puts her hand on his shoulder)
(Back at Vito’s…)
Eddie Gourmand: Jon, how often do you come here to Vito’s (He puts his arm around Jon, who is wincing)
Jon: Moan…
Eddie Gourmand: (continuing) with Ms. Arbuckle and the little Arbuckle children? (The microphone whines from the feedback)
Jon: Well, I… (He stutters and stammers) Well, that is… (He pounds the table. Liz leans over and whispers to him)
Liz: Jon, this has gone on long enough! Either tell him the truth or I will! (Jon gets up and walks over to Eddie)
Jon: Uh… I have something to tell you (He nervously adjusts his tie) about my wife and daughters. (The cats and dog each toss a piece of lasagna into their mouths)
Animals: Chewing noises (Garfield glances over at Jon and addresses the viewers)
Garfield: Hey you notice, when Jon lies, he turns the same color as Vito’s red sauce! (He tosses another lasagna into his mouth. Nermal licks his fingers and demands more)
Nermal: I want another meatball! (Odie looks surprised, like he too thinks this is getting a little crazy)
Odie: Hmm.
Myron: I want SIX meatballs! (He holds up two fingers)
Odie: Huh?!
Myron: (continuing) And more garlic bread!
Garfield: Laughs (He snaps his fingers. Vito spins around, with a stack of pizzas in his hand)
Vito: I cannot believe it! Mr. Arbuckle’s daughters, they eat more than that cat of his! (He runs around to deliver another serving of food while Jon is still struggling to get the words out)
Eddie Gourmand: What is it you’re trying to tell me, Mr. Arbuckle? (Jon looks around nervously)
Jon: Uh, well, (He adjusts his tie again and chuckles nervously) you know I, I work for Mr. Barker here and…
Mr. Barker: Oh indeed he does! (Eddie zips between Jon and his boss) I’m so impressed with his great family here I’m giving Arbukle
Jon: Ahh!
Mr. Barker: (continuing) a big promotion and a raise!
Eddie Gourmand: Hoo hoo!
Jon: Whimper…
Nermal: Oops! Dropped my napkin! (He bends down to pick it up, inadvertently revealing his tail)
Liz: Huh?
Nermal: (continuing) I wouldn’t look good with marinara sauce all over my dress. (Vito, who is walking over to deliver more pizzas, sees the kitten’s tail)
Vito: Mama mia! (He drops the pizzas in shock) What is this? (Nermal sits back up) GASP! (Vito grabs Nermal’s wig and pulls it off, revealing his identity)
Nermal: Huh?
Vito: (continuing) A pussygato!
Odie: Huh?
Vito: (continuing) In my ristorante! (He slides over to Odie and throws his shades off) And a puppy dog! (He throws Myron’s wig off) And another pussygato! And you!!! (He is seething as he pulls Garfield’s wig off and points at him)
Garfield: Trick or treat! (He holds his finger up) Could I have another pepperoni pizza, please?
Vito: (pointing) All of you, all of you, all of you, (He points at the ceiling) OUT OF MY RISTORANTE!!!! OUT!!
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: You can make that to go.
Odie: Huh? (Vito leaps onto the table, knocking it over. The animals scatter)
Animals: AAAAHHHHHHH!
Mr. Barker: Arbuckle, your daughters are cats and dogs?
Jon: I can explain, Mr. Barker. Well, no I can’t, but, (He puts his hand behind his head nervously) chuckles (Behind him, Liz urges him to spill the beans)
Liz: The truth, Jon! (Meanwhile, Garfield is being chased by Vito throughout the restaurant. Garfield is managing to stay ahead, despite wearing high heels)
Garfield: Whimper Women and children first, especially cats DRESSED like women children!
Vito: When I get my hands on you, cat! (They crash into something, which results in Garfield wearing Vito’s chef hat. They blow by Eddie and the cameraman, causing the food critic to spin rapidly, knocking the camera into the pizza oven, which sparks)
Eddie Gourmand: Look out! (He zips away and slowly walks outside, his cameraman with him carrying the smoking camera) This is terrible! They simply ruined the end of my show! (They enter their TV van and drive away. As they go, everyone, animals and humans alike, sprint out of Vito’s pizzeria)
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Vito: Out! All of you, out! And never (He waves his arms in a “no” fashion) get in my pizzeria again! (He slams the door shut and turns the lights off)
Jon: Moan Mr. Barker, Liz (He gestures to her) isn’t my wife and these (He gestures to his pets) OBVIOUSLY aren’t my daughters, and, I’m sorry (He shakes his head slightly) I let you believe that. (Mr. Barker, however, found this scene hilarious. A woman with him, possibly his wife, laughs also)
Mr. Barker: Laughs Arbuckle, this is the funniest (He grabs his head) thing I ever saw! Draw it up as a cartoon and send it in! (He points at the ground) I’ll give you a bonus! (They both leave, leaving Jon’s “family” outside)
Liz: There, you see, Jon? You kept your job. Things didn’t turn out so bad.
Jon: Phew!
Garfield: We didn't get dessert. Heh.
Jon: I guess everything DID work out OK.
Garfield: (more frustrated) We didn't get dessert! (Suddenly Vito bursts out the door)
Vito: Almost forgot, (He holds his finger up) here’s the bill (He unrolls a long bill) for what your “daughters” ate.
Jon: Scowl! (Both he and Vito glare at Garfield)
Vito: Pay me, (He rolls the bill back up) and then never come in again! (He hands it to Jon and races back inside)
Jon: Sigh. (He scrolls through the bill) Everything worked out ALMOST OK.
Garfield: We STILL didn’t get dessert.
(Later that evening, Jon, Liz, and the pets, who are now out of their disguises, walk up the sidewalk to the house)
Liz: Vito will get over it in a day or so. He always does.
Jon: You’re right. Right now I just want to relax and not have ANYONE else upset with me. (He opens the door only to be greeted by his and Liz’s families, along with other random characters like Professor Bonkers and Jim Davis)
All: Surprise!
Mrs. Arbuckle: Congratulations on your wedding! (She holds her hands to her face, beaming with pride)
Doc Boy: Congratulations on your marriage! (Mr. Wilson folds his arms) I know you’ll be really happy! (Jon and Liz slowly walk inside)
Mr. Wilson: Why didn't you tell us?
Jon: I can explain! Listen, I can explain! (The pets reach the living room and find a large wedding cake on the table)
Garfield: Hey Odie, wedding cake! (He rubs his paws together greedily) We DID get dessert!
Odie: Bark! Yeah! (He runs forward to get some, and Garfield also zips up to it)
Garfield: Laughs (He takes a bit of frosting with his finger and samples it) Longing laugh (Odie on near the top of the cake and is about to munch the plastic bride and groom figurines)
Odie: Ahhhh! (Garfield stops him just in time)
Garfield: No, no,
Odie: Huh? (He looks at Garfield)
Garfield: (continuing) not the couple on top. (The camera pans to him as he holds his finger up) That’s plastic. Snickers (He grins and gives a wink to the viewers, ending the episode here)
THE END