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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode opens with Odie casually humming and trotting home. He walks through the front pet door)
Odie: Hums (He trots up to Garfield, who is in his chair watching television. He holds a clipboard in one hand and a pencil in the other)
Garfield: Oh hi, Odie. (Odie puts his front paws on the arm of the chair) I'm just about to take a test
Odie: Huh? (He looks at the television)
Garfield: (continuing) called, “How brave are you?”
Odie: (intrigued) Hmm. (The Anchorman on TV gives several scenarios)
Anchorman: Here’s your situation: (He reads off from a paper in his hand) a poisonous snake is coming at you.
Garfield: I’m not afraid. (He jots that down on the clipboard)
Odie: Gasp! (He turns his attention from his best friend to the TV)
Anchorman: A giant grizzly bear is attacking. (Odie looks again at Garfield)
Garfield: I’m not afraid. (He writes that on the clipboard, too)
Odie: Moan.
Anchorman: A man-eating lion is loose!
Garfield: I’m not even afraid of a cat-eating lion.
Odie: Mm-mm. (He nods)
Anchorman: An army of monsters and werewolves and vampires is attacking.
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: I’m absolutely, definitely, utterly (He tosses both the clipboard and the pencil away) not afraid.
Odie: Ohhhhh. (Both items crash off-screen. Odie glances in the direction of the crash, and Garfield leans back with his head in his paws, shaking his feet. Just then, Jon calls from the kitchen)
Jon: Oh Garfield, my nieces Drucilla and Minerva are coming to visit. (He leaves from the kitchen doorway. Garfield is shocked at this news)
Odie: Pants
Garfield: Gasp! (He screams, flailing his arms and legs and causing Odie to stand on one paw in surprise) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He leaps onto the ceiling, standing on it as if it was the floor) Whimpers
Odie: Moan… (Garfield starts running in circles)
Garfield: Lock the doors! Bar the windows! (He slams the open windows in the living room) We have to move to another country! Help! Help! (Odie, now on his hind legs, watches the cat’s panic. Garfield runs on the floor, and then on the ceiling) HELP!
Odie: Huh? (He scratches his head, confused as to why Garfield is so panic-stricken) Mutters (Garfield eventually stops next to Odie)
Garfield: Pants (He grabs Odie by the neck and shakes him violently) Snakes and bears and monsters can only eat you! (He lets go of the helpless pooch. Odie is unharmed, but a bit woozy) These are Jon’s nieces! (Odie shakes his head, regaining his bearings. Garfield, meanwhile, grabs the remote from the chair) Don’t you remember them from last season? Show 17? (He points the remote at the TV and turns it on)
Odie: Gasp! (She shows some scenes from the Season 1 episode Glenda & Odessa to jog Odie’s memory, except that was the 26th episode, and not the 17th)
Twins: (on TV) Let’s play dress-up! (Garfield is quaking in fear, but Odie does not get it)
Odie: Mutter (Garfield pulls him closer and points at the TV)
Garfield: Oof! (The next scene on the TV is after the pets got dressed up)
Garfield: (on TV) We hate it. (Odie suddenly remembers and is about as horrified as Garfield is)
Odie: HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! (The background behind him becomes a hypnotic swirl of orange and black. Both pets start screaming and running in different directions)
Garfield: YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Odie: Panicked barking
Garfield: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (They both run on the ceiling and then drop to the floor, landing on their feet. The doorbell rings a couple of times, signaling the twins’ arrival, and giving the pets pause)
Jon: That must be them. (He goes to answer it. Garfield shakes his head, and both pets watch in horror as Jon goes to answer it)
Garfield: Oh! (He grabs Odie’s head and brings it close to his own) We have to hide, Odie! Under Jon’s bed, quick!
Odie: Uh-uh. (He agrees, and the two of them race to their hiding place) Whimpers
Garfield: Pants (They blow by Jon and run up the stairs, through the hallway–Odie on all fours at this point–and duck under the bed. Garfield has to pull his tail in, but does so before it can be noticed by anyone) Ooh!
(Downstairs, Jon opens the door and welcomes his cousins. The twins are technically his cousins despite the age difference)
Twins: Hi, Uncle Jon! (They wave, both with a suitcase next to them)
Jon: Great to see you, Minerva and Drucilla. (He gets their names wrong)
Minerva: No, I’m Minerva! (He points at herself with her thumb)
Drucilla: And I’m Drucilla!
Twins: We’re Minerva and Drucilla! (They charge inside, hoping to play with Garfield)
Minerva: We wanna play with the kitty cat!
Drucilla: He’s so cute! (Minerva looks in a dresser, and then in the garage while her sister investigates the living room)
Twins: Oh Garfield? Where’s Garfield? (They then glance upstairs, thinking they know where he is)
(Meanwhile, the pets are still under the bed. Odie is shaking with fear, but Garfield is there to calm him down)
Odie: Whimpers and sputters
Garfield: Don’t worry, Odie. Even if we have to stay here the rest of our lives, I'm prepared! (He whips out a flashlight and shines it toward the back of the bed)
Odie: Huh? (Garfield illuminates several boxes of lasagna under the bed)
Garfield: I knew Jon’s nieces would come back someday, so I stored 25 crates of canned lasagna! (Returning to the pets) Gee, I wish I'd have brought some for you. (The big-hearted beagle is still trembling)
Odie: Mutters (Cut to the rest of the bedroom)
Garfield: What can they do to us?! They can dress us up (The twins open the door and quietly sneak in) in frilly doll clothes like they did (Minerva signals for her sister to be quiet) last time! (Back under the bed…) But I'm determined! I’m absolutely not gonna let them do that to me again! (He gets yanked out from his hiding place) YAAHH! (Odie is surprised) No! Stop! Ah! Help! Don’t! Call the humane society! (The puppy peeks out from under the bed, still trembling more than a person in sub-zero Fahrenheit–or -18 degree Celsius–temperatures)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (continuing) Call somebody! (Garfield is back in his normal attire after the twins catch him: the pink dress, gloves, high heels, a wig, and hair bow) And the worst part is, I don't even look good in this color. (He shakes his hips, but the twins want to play some more)
Minerva: Wait!
Garfield: YAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (He leaps, horrified, as the twins flank him)
Minerva: (continuing) Kitty cat!
Drucilla: (pointing) We have a bridal gown for you to try on! You’ll be so beautiful! (Garfield makes a break for it out the door)
Garfield: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He slides down the bannister on the staircase, the twins in hot pursuit) YAAAAAAHHHHH!
Minerva: We wanna play with you! (The cat hops off the bannister and races into the living room. Of course, the twins follow)
Drucilla: Come back!
Minerva: We have more dress-up to play!
Drucilla: Come back! (They run right by Garfield, who is behind his chair hiding his face behind a large bowl)
Garfield: Whimpers
Minerva: Kitty cat! (She and her sister run into the kitchen, and then spot Garfield in the living room) Kitty cat!
Garfield: Whimpers (He drops the bowl and escapes to the other side of the living room. He stands with his back to the wall and his front to the end table with Drucilla on the other end of it)
Drucilla: We wanna dress up the kitty cat!
Garfield: This is not good. (He tries weaving back and forth, trying to juke the twins out)
Twins: Overlapping chatter (Garfield races around the pink chair, Drucilla chasing after him)
Garfield: You ladies know how hard it is to run in high heels? (As he enters the hallway, he trips on the throw rug) YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (He flies through the pet door, bounces on the ground and lands in a paper bag in a shopping cart pushed by a neighbor, Mrs. Cauldron. Jon, who was already outside, witnesses the event)
Mrs. Cauldron: Oh my goodness! (Garfield’s eyes spin) I mean, chuckles (The fat cat collects himself) badness. (The twins burst outside)
Drucilla: The kitty cat can fly!
Minerva: Let’s dress him up as a (Odie peeks around the corner, looking out the open door)
Odie: Hmm? Pants
Minerva: (continuing) flight attendant next!
Mrs. Cauldron: My, (She grabs Garfield and sets him down on the ground) you’re a plump one! (She puts her hands on her hips) Almost big enough for my oven. (Jon walks up to apologize)
Jon: I’m sorry. Mrs. Cauldron.
Minerva: Is she a witch? (Her sister is taken aback by this)
Drucilla: She LOOKS like a witch. (Mrs. Cauldron walks up to them)
Mrs. Cauldron: Maybe I am, and maybe I'm not. But, my, (She points at Minerva) you’re an adorable little girl, and my, (She looks at Drucilla) YOU’RE an adorable little girl! And my, (She looks at Garfield) you’re not!
Garfield: Scowl! (He glares at the witch) And my, you’re not exactly Ms. Universe (He points at her) yourself, lady.
Jon: Nervous laugh Girls, let’s let Mrs. Cauldron get home with her shopping, (He holds his finger up) OK?
Mrs. Cauldron: Oh thank you! And maybe you’ll (She gestures to the girls) come and visit me (She walks off with her cart and bags of groceries) sometime, little ladies.
Garfield: Grrrrr! (He glares at the witch as she leaves)
Jon: (pointing) Let’s take you girls inside (He ushers the twins inside) and read you a story.
Drucilla: Yeah! We wanna hear a story about a witch!
Minerva: Yeah! We wanna hear Hansel and Gretel! (Odie pokes his head out from behind the door, watching Jon and the girls head for the living room. He then runs outside with Garfield) It’s got a witch in it!
Jon: OK. Hansel and Gretel it is.
Garfield: Whew! (He wipes the sweat from his brow as his canine companion approaches on his hind legs. He angrily points at the pup) Odie,
Odie: Huh? (He raises his paws defensively)
Garfield: (continuing) if you laugh at the way I look, if you so much as giggle!
Odie: (nervously) Uh-huh. (He nods, getting the picture, and stands at attention) Hm!
Garfield: Good. (He heads inside, but before he goes, Odie starts giggling under his breath)
Odie: Quiet snickers (Garfield stops and turns around) Gasp! (Odie returns to his stance as if nothing had happened. Garfield leaps at him, standing and glaring furiously with his fist clenched. Despite the threat, Odie cannot help himself and he bursts out laughing) Giggles Laughs
Garfield: (angrily) Meow! (He whips out a mirror and examines himself) He’s right. (He tosses the hair on his wig and then leaves, tossing the mirror away behind him. Odie falls over, kicking and pounding the ground and laughing hysterically)
Odie: Uncontrollable laughter
(Back inside, Jon is on the couch with his twin cousins, reading them the story of Hansel and Gretel)
Jon: “And so Hansel and Gretel followed the breadcrumbs to the house of the wicked witch.” (He is interrupted by a loud booming sound, much like thunder) Huh? (He glances at the ceiling)
(Upstairs, Garfield, now free from his twin outfit, pulls the dresser while Odie pushes from the other side. Their goal is to barricade the door with it)
Garfield and Odie: Strain (Down below, Jon shrugs and continues the story)
Jon: “The wicked witch invited them inside and offered them gingerbread.” (Pushing and pulling the heavy dresser is exhausting for the pets, who both take a quick breather)
Garfield and Odie: Pant
Garfield: Don’t just stand there, Odie! We have to prepare to defend ourselves! That story can’t last forever!
Odie: Hmmm… (Garfield puts his paw to his chin, thinking) Pants Mutter
Garfield: I’m going on a spy mission to find out what the enemy is up to. (He runs to the window)
Odie: Mutters
(Garfield swings himself over the edge of the roof, climbs down the drain gutter and eavesdrops on Jon, who is still reading the story to the twins)
Jon: “And so the evil witch tried to push Hansel and Gretel into the oven, (The camera focuses on Jon and the girls) but they were too fast for her.”
Garfield: Oh! (He smiles and swings his fist. He just got an idea) Laughs
(Back upstairs, Odie is struggling to move the dresser, now pushing it with his back)
Odie: Strains (Garfield bounces in, first on the bed and then landing in front of Odie)
Garfield: Never mind the fortress! (He points at the pup) It wouldn’t keep ‘em out anyway! I’ve got a better idea! (He taps his chin, an evil plan brewing in his mind. He heads downstairs, but runs into Jon in the hallway, who in turn notices the cat) Oh!
Jon: I need to go to the market so I can make dinner (He holds his finger up) for our guests. Keep an eye on Drucilla and Minerva while I'm out, Garfield. (He points at the fat cat and glares) I’m counting on you!
Garfield: Oh! (He raises his paw, as if to make a promise. With that, Jon opens the door to the garage and heads out. Odie trots downstairs and leans around the banister, and Garfield points in Jon’s direction)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: You’ve made this mistake before. (The twins in the distance shout for Garfield, which sets both pets on edge)
Twins: Where’d he go? Where’s the kitty cat? (Garfield leans toward Odie)
Garfield: This is the moment of truth, puppy face! (He holds his finger up) We have to act fast!
Odie: Right! (He nods, determined. The twins enter the hallway)
Drucilla: Yoo-hoo!
Minerva: We have a nice prom dress for you to try on! (She holds a black dress in her hand)
Drucilla: Look, Drucilla! (She points at something)
Minerva: (pointing) You’re Drucilla, (She points at herself) I’m Minerva.
Drucilla: Oh right. I can’t tell us apart. (She points) There’s candy! (On the phone’s table is a hanging candy cane and some more treats. The girls rush over there and they each grab a piece) Mm-mm, this is so good! (Minerva points at the ground. There is a trail of candy leading out the door, down the sidewalk, and up the street. Garfield lays it down on the pavement, and Odie watches him)
Garfield: Laughs
Odie: Huh? (He does not understand Garfield’s plan. The fat cat pops a piece of candy into his mouth)
Garfield: Mmm! Bread crumbs like in the story. Mm! We’ll lead them to Mrs. Cauldron’s house.
Odie: Huh? (He looks down at the candy. The pets then make their way up Mrs. Cauldron’s sidewalk to her porch. Garfield knocks on the door, and then takes off) Huh? Pants (Odie remains on the porch)
Garfield: Gasp! (He steps behind Odie, grabs him, and pulls him away) Grunt!
Odie: Yowl! (Just in time, too. Mrs. Cauldron opens the door and sees the twins collecting the candy. Drucilla tosses it behind her into a stroller being pushed by Minerva)
Mrs. Cauldron: Ooh! You came to visit me! Chuckles That’s so sweet of you! Come in. (She gestures behind her, beckoning the girls inside) We’ll have tea. (She says this a bit sinisterly. The girls pause and look at each other, but only for a moment)
Minerva: (pointing up) I like tea! (She runs toward the witch’s house, still pushing the stroller)
Drucilla: I want hot cocoa. (She joins her sister and the two head inside Mrs. Cauldron’s house)
Mrs. Cauldron: Oh come in! We have so much to talk about. (As for Garfield and Odie, they were around the corner. Garfield peeks out from his hiding spot)
Garfield: Chuckle (He steps further into the yard) That’ll keep ‘em away while I do
Odie: Huh? (He appears around the corner, watching the scene unfold)
Garfield: (continuing) something of VITAL importance.
Odie: (loosely translated) A nap?
Garfield: Of COURSE a nap! (Odie grins)
(Later that day, Garfield is in his bed embarking on that nap he said he was going to take. A duck flies over the house, quacking twice, as he settles in)
Garfield: Yawn! Poor Mrs. Cauldron, such an odd lady. (He rests his head on his paws) Always dressing up like a wicked witch. Hey, (He lifts his head) what if she IS a wicked witch? (He quickly dismisses the notion) Nah! (He lies back down) There’s no such thing and besides, it isn’t Halloween. (Yawning) I think i’ll just get me some good… good… (He dozes off, snoring, and a dream sequence begins)
(His dream starts at night inside Mrs. Cauldron’s 2nd floor, where the witch is brewing something magical in her cauldron)
Mrs. Cauldron: Cackles Bubble, my fine potion! (She stirs it with a spoon and then checks her recipe) I just need to add some eye of newt, (She grabs a glass bottle from the shelf) three ounces of raven (She grabs a bowl) toenails. (She adds both ingredients, and the potion reacts a bit violently, bubbling and bursting like a mild geyser) Ah! Oh! Cackles (She checks her book again) And the final ingredient, two identical bratty (Above her are the twins, tied and hanging from the ceiling with rope) nieces!
Drucilla: Help! You mean old wicked witch!
Minerva: You wouldn’t do this if our friend Garfield was here!
Mrs. Cauldron: Well, your friend Garfield isn’t here, (She points at the twins) and even if he was, he’d be too fat and lazy to help you! (She points again at them. The twins kick and struggle)
Twins: Garfield! Help! Where are you? Overlapping cries (Back at Jons house, Garfield is now awake, and hearing the twins’ cries, is horrified of what might happen to them)
Garfield: She’s a wicked witch! She’s a wicked witch! And she’s gonna do wicked witch things to Jon’s nieces! (He strikes a heroic pose) I’ve just gotta save them! (He hopes off the dresser) Meow! (He races downstairs and out the front pet door, getting stuck in it for a moment) Ow! (He pushes himself through and hurries off down the street) Pants (He pauses) Wait a minute, do I? (For an answer, he hears the twins again)
Twins: Garfield! (Their cry startles Garfield, who leaps into the air)
Garfield: YAAAHHHHH! Yes! I guess I have to! (He points into the air and heads for Mrs. Cauldron’s house)
Twins: Save us! (Inside, Mrs. Cauldron is using her magic powers to levitate the girls over the pot) Garfield! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!
Minerva: This is it! Good-bye, Drucilla.
Drucilla: I keep telling you, you’re Drucilla.
Minerva: I thought I was Minerva.
Mrs. Cauldron: It doesn’t matter! You’re both ingredients! Cackles (Garfield bolts up the stairs so fast he runs up the wall and onto the ceiling, landing perfectly on the bannister)
Garfield: Pants (He points at the witch) Unhand those annoying children! (Mrs. Cauldron ceases her magic, and the girls fall onto the floor. Garfield speaks to the viewers) Hey, do I know how to make a big entrance or what?
Mrs. Cauldron: Oh, cackles, this is perfect! (She rubs her hands together) I have a recipe that calls for a goat!
Garfield: Huh? (He looks around him and hops off the bannister) And just where do you (He points at her) think you’re gonna get a goat at THIS hour?
Mrs. Cauldron: Alakazel! (She zaps Garfield with a blast of blue magic)
Garfield: Whimpers (He is turned into a goat) Laughs (He points at her, only to quickly realize the transformation) Whimpers Oh, sure, do it the easy way.
Mrs. Cauldron: Cackles (She grabs her broom)
Garfield: Oh! (He makes a hasty escape down the stairs) Pants (The witch follows on her broomstick)
Mrs. Cauldron: Cackles
Garfield: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He tries running out the front door, but Mrs. Cauldron is there) Wha! Huh? (He tries the bedroom door, but again the witch is on the other side) YAHH! Whimpers (He tries a third door, and this one has Vito behind it) YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! (Garfield pauses, and then the door opens once again to reveal the witch) YAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Whimpers (He trembles in fear)
Mrs. Cauldron: Cackles (She bursts out from the stairway door, riding her broom around the room. Garfield is frozen with fear)
Garfield: Whimpers
Mrs. Cauldron: Cackles
Garfield: YAAAHHHH! (He tries to make a break for it, but the witch catches him on her broom. Garfield’s hooves are wrapped around the broomstick as he goes for a ride) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Wha-? (He opens his eyes and looks at the viewers. He realizes where he is now) YAHH!
Mrs. Cauldron: Cackles
Garfield: You ever thought of trading this thing in for a vacuum cleaner? (The witch descends and rides toward a picket fence. She rides low enough for Garfield’s horns to bang on the fence) Oof! Oof! Oof! (She then flies past a tree. An extended branch snags Garfield and spins him around it) Howwwwl! (He is launched into the night sky like a rocket) YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Mrs. Cauldron: Have a nice landing! Cackles
Garfield: Yeow! (He goes so much distance he makes a silhouette against the moon. Before things can get any crazier, he hears Jon’s voice)
Jon: Garfield! (The cat-turned-goat turns around. He is no longer on Earth, but in space between Earth and the moon) GARFIELD!
Garfield: Bleat! (He begins falling) YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Before he lands, he wakes up suddenly. The entire thing was just a nightmare) Wha? YAAAAHHHHHHH! (He leaps out of bed, flailing his arms and legs) Doh! (He lands in a heap on the ground) Ow! What happened? (He holds his head) Pants Where am I? (Jon walks in and sees his cat in the bedroom)
Jon: Garfield! Where are Drucilla and Minerva? (The cat quickly stands up)
Garfield: The evil witch is putting them in a twin casserole! (He raises his finger) I have to save them! Pants (He races out the bedroom door, outside, and down the street) Drucilla! Minerva! Don’t worry! Garfield’s coming to save you! Don’t put them in your recipe, Mrs. Cauldron! (He bursts in through the open front door) Don’t… doh! (To his surprise, he sees the twins innocently drinking tea with Mrs. Cauldron, safe and sound)
Mrs. Cauldron: Oh, hello, pussycat. Did you come to join us?
Drucilla: We’re having tea with Mrs. Cauldron.
Minerva: And we’re learning ALL (The claps her hands together) sorts of interesting things!
Drucilla: Giggles (Garfield then realizes that his vivid dream was just that: a dream. He glares at the viewers)
Garfield: You knew it was a dream sequence all along! (He puts his paws on his hips) Why didn’t you tell me? (He glares at the twins and Mrs. Cauldron and then storms out of the house. The girls follow, along with the witch) Grrrr! (The girls stop on the porch)
Drucilla: Thank you for a lovely conversation, Mrs. Cauldron.
Minerva: Oh and all the things you taught us!
Mrs. Cauldron: Ooh. come back and visit us any time, dears.
Twins: Giggle (They wave good-bye, and Mrs. Cauldron waves back. The girls run up to Garfield, who is still miffed)
Minerva: Thank you for coming to get us, Garfield.
Drucilla: Mrs. Cauldron convinced us, we shouldn’t (She shakes her head and waves her hands no) make you play dress-up any more. (Her sister nods. Garfield is taken aback by this)
Garfield: Gasp! Aw, gee, heh, (He leads the way home. He passes by Squeak, who is sitting on a trash can) I guess everything turned out great after all. (The twins stay behind)
Minerva: (whispering to her sister) He’ll make a great goat. (The two of them reach behind themselves and put on witch’s hats)
Drucilla: Let’s make him into a BIG one! (Using what they learned from Mrs. Cauldron, they shoot magic from their fingers)
Twins: Alakazam!
Garfield: YAAHHH! (He is zapped by the magic)
Twins: Giggle (Garfield is suddenly turned into a goat, just like in his dream)
Garfield: I don’t feel like lasagna for dinner tonight. For some reason I have baaaah craving for old tin caaans. Meow! (As he walks off, the episode wraps up here)
THE END