[The episode starts off inside Jon's house. Jon enters inside with a bag of groceries.]
Jon: Garfield, I'm home. [Shuts the door behind him]
Garfield: [Sarcastically] Oh, what an exciting announcement. It'll probably be on the news tonight: "Jon is home, film at 11." [Goes back to bed]
Jon: And you'll never guess what I bought.
Garfield: Uhh, the entire nation of Bolivia?
Jon: [Takes it out] A new bathroom scale.
Garfield: That was going to be my next guess.
Jon: [Sets it down] It's a talking scale. It calculates how much you should weigh for your height, and it predicts your fortune, too.
Garfield: Hmm.
Jon: I'm going to weigh myself as soon as I get out of these heavy clothes. [Leaves]
Garfield: [To himself] No point in delaying the bad news. [Places his foot on the scale]
RX-2: One at a time, please. [Garfield places his foot on it again] I don't do trucks. [Garfield repeats the same action] Let me guess...you're an ocean liner, right?
[Garfield, getting annoyed, jumps on the scale]
RX-2: [Siren wailing] Get off. Get off. Get off.
[Garfield does so]
RX-2: [Sighs in relief] Thank you.
Garfield: All right. No kiddin' around. [Gets back on it] Lemme have it straight.
RX-2: You are 20 pounds overweight, or nine inches undertall. Your fortune is--you will be splutted.
Garfield: "Splutted"? What does it mean, "splutted"?
[He gets hit with a pie]
Garfield: Ahhh, splutted. [Wipes the pie off his face] All this scale needs is a little tampering with.
[He adjusts the knob on the side. Soon, Jon comes in wearing only his underwear]
Jon: Well, let's make sure that I'm still at my ideal weight. [Sets the scale down and steps on it]
RX-2: You are 50 pounds overweight. Your fortune is--you will go on a strict diet.
Jon: 50 pounds overweight? How could this happen?
Garfield: [Whistles]
Jon: I am going to go on a strict diet. Garfield, you're gonna help me. Will you make sure I don't eat too much?
Garfield: Oh, I suppose so. [Pats Jon's head]
[Scene transitions to the kitchen. Garfield is about to eat a large pile of food, while Jon only has a single piece of lettuce]
Jon: Are you sure this is what the diet book says I get for lunch? One lettuce leaf?
[Garfield flips through a diet book, before walking up to Jon. He takes the leaf and tears it in half. Scene cuts back to Garfield, who had already eaten most of his food'
Jon: Garfield, I'm going to go work out.
Garfield: Good.
Jon: [Picks him up] And you're gonna work out with me.
Garfield: Bad.
[Scene transitions to Jon at the closet as he gets out various exercise material]
Jon: [Singing] ♪Here's my dumbbell♪
Garfield: [Points to Jon] Here's my dumbbell.
Jon: ♪Here's my little rope♪
Garfield: [Points to Jon] Here's my little dope.
Jon: ♪What's wrong with a little exercise?♪
Garfield: What's wrong with a little extra size?
[Scene transitions to Jon arm-wrestling Garfield]
Jon: ♪Maybe there's still hope♪
Garfield: [Wins] Nope.
[Scene transitions to Jon rowing across the living room]
Jon: ♪Let's turn this place into a gym♪
Garfield: I think there's something seriously wrong with him.
Jon: Work out! Work out! ♪That's what it's gonna take♪
Garfield: Cookout! Cookout! How 'bout a great big steak? [Falls down as Jon pulls the steak away]
Jon: ♪The road to health is paved with good intentions♪
Garfield: [Gets a ham out of the fridge] The road to the kitchen can lead to new dimensions.
Jon: [Picks him up] ♪Garfield, we're gonna get in shape!♪
Garfield: ♪Fat chance!♪ [Smirks] Whoo, yeah.
[Jon heads out the door. Scene transitions to them outside]
Jon: Okay. We'll start by skipping rope.
Garfield: [Tosses rope] Great. Then we'll skip the sit-ups, then the push-ups, then--
Jon: [Jogging in place] Better still, let's start with some jogging. Come on. [Jogs off]
Garfield: [Shrugs] [To audience] Do you folks have to do this kinda thing if you wanna get fed every night? [Runs off]
[Scene transitions to Jon jogging threw the yard, with Garfield dragging behind]
Garfield: [Panting]
Jon: Alright, alright, we'll rest.
Garfield: [Stops and faints]
Jon: Garfield, we're still in front of our house.
Garfield: Yeah. But it's a long driveway. [Gets up]
Jon: I think we should head west.
Garfield: No, I think we should go east. [Points east]
Jon: Oh, no. You just wanna go that way because it's shorter. [Heads west]
[He falls off-screen]
Jon: Yahoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
[Garfield walks over to the manhole Jon fell in]
Garfield: [Peeks through No. I wanted to go that way because there's no open manhole.
[Scene transitions back to the yard, where Jon is showing off some exercise weights]
Jon: Okay, now. Pulling on these things is great exercise.
[He pulls on the ropes, struggling]
Jon: [Groaning] [Gives up] It's no use. They're too tough. You take one, and I'll take one.
[Both begin pulling the ropes, struggling. They both strain until Garfield notices an apple]
Garfield: Ooh. Oh, boy. All this exercise has made me hungry. [To Jon] Here, hold this a second.
[Jon grabs Garfield's rope as Garfield grabs the apple. The weights fall, flinging Jon forward]
Jon: Whoa! [Crashes off-screen]
Garfield: [Walks off with the apple] I think I'll peel it first. Oh, the peeler's in the house.
[Jon's feet is seen protruding out the wall. Garfield heads into the kitchen]
Garfield: Well, that's not nice. [Walks in to see Jon stuck in the wall, dizzy] If you're gonna take a break, at least you could've told me.
[Scene transitions back outside. Jon turns on a record player, and dance music begins playing]
Jon: This is an aerobics workout record. [Begins performing exercises]
Garfield: [Tries to replicate Jon, but fails] [Breathing heavily] I can't take much more of this. [Stops and walks towards the record player] This will get it over with sooner.
[Garfield speeds up the music, and Jon begins going faster too. He soon goes so fast that he begins flying upward]
Garfield: I better stop this before Jon flies south for the winter.
[He turns the record player off, and Jon is heard crashing off-screen. Garfield walks up to Jon, who is dizzy again]
Garfield: You know, you'd better stop trying to improve your health before you remove your health.
[Scene transitions back inside. Garfield runs up back to the scale]
Garfield: Jon's worked so hard. I'll put it back to accurate weight...but first, I better test it. [Steps on it]
RX-2: You are still 20 pounds overweight. Your fortune is--you are about to get more exercise.
Garfield: More exercise?
Jon: [Comes in wearing a robe] Okay. Let's see how much I lost. [Steps on it]
RX-2: You are the correct weight for your height. Your fortune is--you will punish your cat for tampering with the scale earlier.
[Jon gets very upset at Garfield upon hearing this]
Garfield: [To scale] Ratfink scale.
[Jon and Garfield do all the following things RX-2 states:]
RX-2: You will chase your cat around the living room. He will slip on the throw rug. He will swing on the chandelier, crash into the wall.
Garfield: Boy, are those things ever accurate.
RX-2: You will chase him out the front door. You will chase him down the block. And they lived heavily ever after. [Clears throat] The end. [The words show up on its screen] End. End. End.
End of episode