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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode begins one day above Jon’s house. Garfield is in his bed sleeping)
Garfield: Snore! Snore! Yawn! (He wakes up and greets the viewers) Oh hi. I was just indulging in one of my favorite Yawn! pastimes: sleeping. Gasp! Which reminds me, we get a lot of letters here asking me to name my 10 favorite things in the whole world to do. Well, here they are in no particular order. May I have the screen please? (He points in front of him. A screen drops in front of him and a projector plays onto it, showing an one-timey video of Garfield sleeping in bed) #1 Sleeping. (As Garfield lists off his other nine favorites, each one is shown on the screen) #2 Eating. (He shovels lasagna into his mouth) #3 Sleeping and dreaming about eating. (He dreams about eating pizza) #4, and this one’s a tricky one, eating while sleeping. (He sleeps on the kitchen table, grabs a cookie from a plate next to him, and eats it. He then resumes snoring) #5 Sleeping on my other side. (He rolls over onto his back) #6 Mailing Nermal to Abu Dhabi. (He shoves Nermal down into a box and delivers it to Herman Post, who is himself at the door handing Jon his mail)
Garfield: (in the movie) Here. Notice I did NOT mark it fragile. (He grins) Snickers
Garfield: #7, 8, and 9 are all more eating, (He eats spaghetti, Chinese food, and a hot dog. Finally, the real Garfield is shown standing on the floor next to the screen) which brings us to #10. #10, (He holds his finger up) my favorite thing in the whole world to do, and amazingly, (He holds his finger up again) it involves neither eating nor sleeping. It’s watching Odie being tormented by squirrels. (The projector shows a scene where Odie is having nuts dropped on his head, a squirrel tugs his tail, and another one grabs his ears and trips him up before he can chase the tail-pulling squirrel) I love it! (He tosses a nut in his paw) I shall now demonstrate. (He walks over to the window and opens it) Snickers Watch. (He holds his finger up) This is gonna be your favorite thing in the whole world, trust me. (He grins and tosses another walnut into a small pile. Two squirrels, a thin brown one named Devil and an unnamed gray squirrel peek out of the knothole in the base of the tree and race to collect the loot. They pick some up and roll them on their tails, but Odie sees them)
Odie: Grrr! Bark! Bark! (The squirrels take notice of Odie’s barking) Bark! Bark, bark! (They drop their nuts and run around in a panic)
Devil: Red alert! Red alert! Here comes the dog! (They hide behind the tree, and Odie follows)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Grr Bark! Grr Bark! (The squirrels are prepared with a badminton racket which they hold sideways) Bark! Bark! (Odie trips on the racket) Yowl! Bark! Bark! Bark! (He is sprawled out on his tummy in the yard, woozy from the fall) Whimper (The gray squirrel takes the racket and uses it as a golf club on Odie’s butt. The pup is sent flying over the house) HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! (He lands in the trash can, still quite dazed. Hole in one. Devil puts the finishing touches by grabbing a lid and tossing it on Odie’s head)
(After returning to the back yard, the squirrels hear the score)
Squirrel: (offscreen) 15-Love!
Devil and Gray Squirrel: Yeah! (They high-five each other)
Devil: All clear! (A tan-colored squirrel climbs down the tree, and a black one runs out of the knothole to the nuts. Back upstairs, Garfield had been enjoying the show)
Garfield: Laughs What did I tell ya? This is great! Laugh Oh those squirrels! (He leaves from the window and walks to the trash can, bone in paw) Laughs (He gives the can a large whack with the bone, and then a few more taps) You can come out now. The squirrels are gone. (Odie slowly lifts the lid with his ears)
Odie: Whimpers (He scans around him, and then sticks his head out further, still recovering from the incident)
Garfield: You earned that bone, Odie! (He shakes it in front of the pup) On behalf of myself and the audience, thank you for giving us such a good time!
Odie: Moan… (His eyes finally stop spinning and he sees the bone in Garfield’s paw) Pants (The fat cat tosses him the bone and he catches it in his mouth)
Garfield: Odie and squirrels, you just can’t get enough of ‘em.
(Meanwhile, inside the tree, Devil and the black and gray squirrels were enjoying a good laugh at the puppy’s expense while enjoying their bounty of walnuts)
Squirrels: Laugh
Devil: Fine job, everyone!
Squirrels: Laugh
Devil: (lifting his finger) That must be the stupidest dog in the history of stupid dogs!
Squirrels: Laugh
Gray Squirrel: That dog has the brain size of a walnut! (He holds up a walnut)
Squirrels: Laugh
Black Squirrel: More like a cashew!
Squirrels: Laugh (Unbeknownst to them, the dumb dog is back at it. He runs up the side yard)
Odie: Mutters Huh? (He sees a white squirrel collecting nuts and leaps into action) Grr! Bark! Bark!
White Squirrel: YAAHHH! (The chase goes in circles in the yard)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
(Back inside, Garfield is lazily, sleepily, watching TV)
Woman on TV: And now, we’re going to show you something you’ve never seen before in your whole life!
Garfield: I’ve seen this. (He changes the channel)
Anchorman: This just in: today a man in Sweden set a new hippopotamus biting record when he successfully bit one hippopotamus. (The Flabby Tabby’s eyes get heavy and he starts drifting off) Tied for second place is (He snaps himself back awake) everyone else in the entire world.
Garfield: Yawn! Boring. (He channel surfs) 637 channels (He finally turns off the TV) and nothing to watch. Sigh! (He tosses the remote behind him) If only my favorite thing in the world was happening right now. (He then hears a familiar sound)
Odie: Bark! Bark! (Garfield’s eyes snap to attention) Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
Garfield: Hey, (He holds his finger up) I know that bark! That’s Odie’s “I’m chasing squirrels and am about to make a fool of myself” bark! (He hops off the chair and peers out the window at the barking pup, who is running back and forth in the yard after a squirrel) Laughs Yes! Yes! Laughs (The squirrel he was chasing takes shelter in the tree)
Odie: Bark! Bark! (Odie follows and tries stopping, but his momentum carries him into the hole, where he gets his front half stuck inside) Bark! (He kicks his hind legs, trying to pull himself out) Bark! Bark!
White Squirrel: Quick, everyone, out the back way! It’s Odie time! (He disappears)
Squirrels: Cheer (They all charge out of the hole)
(Garfield, meanwhile, pushes a lawn chair to get a front-row seat of the action. He has a stack of sandwiches and a glass of milk on a table next to him)
Garfield: Sigh. Snicker
Odie: Grunt! Grunt! (He tries pushing himself out, but to no avail. Above him on a tree limb, the four squirrels mock the poor pooch)
Squirrels: Laugh
Odie: Gasp! Huh? (He glances behind him, feeling something on his rear. Devil was painting a face on his butt)
Devil: Laughs (His squirrel friends watch from above as Devil polishes Odie’s face. Once finished, he flicks the pup’s tail, which results in uproarious laughter from his friends) Snicker
Squirrel: Laugh (They kick their legs and clap. The Tubby Tabby also claps)
Garfield: Laughs
Odie: Frustrated mutters (He puts his hind paws on the tree truck, and manages to free himself from the hole. He shakes his discombobulated head) Huh?
Devil: Laughs (He sticks his tongue out at the tormented pup and takes off toward the shed. Odie gives chase)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (They run inside, where Odie collides hard with something, making a loud crash) OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW! (He emerges drunkenly from the shed with a blue bucket on his head and a red paint can on his foot) Mutters (Devil isn’t done yet. He sets a rake out in front of Odie, who steps on it. It whacks him right in his hollow head, causing him to fall over)
Squirrel: Laugh
Odie: Moan… (Devil triumphantly stands on Odie’s bucket, the victor)
Devil: Ta-da!
Squirrels: Laugh (Garfield is enjoying this almost as much as the squirrels are. He, now backwards on the chair, laughs)
Garfield: Laugh Bravo! Author! Author!
Devil: Laughs (He takes a bow. The white squirrel then grabs some masks and hands them to his squirrel buddies. Odie, in the meantime, is standing up and shoves the bucket off of him)
Odie: Mutters (He sees the squirrels tossing nuts around, but doesn’t see their masks. Odie shakes his head) Bark! (The squirrels hit it back and forth with their tails until one of them knocks it into the hole up high, garnering applause from the others)
Devil: Laughs (Odie sees his targets and charges at them
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (The squirrels turn around and show off their masks, which look just like Odie. Obviously, this causes the pup to screech to a stop) Sputters Huh? (He smells both of them) Sniff! Sniff! Bark! Ohhhhh. (He slurps up one nut with his tongue) Pants (Using his ears, he tosses it into the squirrel’s knothole, which gets applause from the squirrels)
Black and Gray Squirrels: Laugh (They take their masks off and dance in front of Odie)
Odie: Awwwww! (The gray one sticks his tongue out at Odie and then returns to the tree with the black one) Huh? (He scratches his head with his ear confused) Mutters
Garfield: Sigh. Laughs (He tosses another nut out for the squirrels. Devil sees the pile and goes to get it, but is immediately chased by Odie)
Devil: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (They run onto the fence and then off of the fence, and past the tree again, where the other three squirrels watch) Bark! Bark!
Gray Squirrel: OK, we’re done here. You can come home now!
Devil: (over his shoulder) Alright! Be with you in a jiff! (In his haste, he wasn’t watching where he was going and steps on the rake he had set out for Odie. Just like the pup prior, it hits him square on the head, knocking him out cold)
Squirrels: Gasp!
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (He skids to a stop when he sees a dazed Devil on the ground) Pants
Black Squirrel: Squirrel down! Squirrel down! (The curious canine steps around Devil)
Odie: Sniffs (Despite the pain the pup has been through at the hands of the squirrels, The big-hearted beagle is visibly concerned for Devil. Garfield runs up to congratulate the pup)
Garfield: Hey, you finally caught one! Sort of. (He turns to the viewers) For those of you scoring at home, that’s Odie one, Squirrels, 783.
Odie: Whimpers
Black Squirrel: I can’t watch this! (He points) It’s too horrible!
White Squirrel: Yeah! He’s a goner! Poor Devil!
Gray Squirrel: Such a fine, brave squirrel! (The white one drops the nut in his paws)
Black Squirrel: There’s nothing we can do for him!
Squirrel: Cry (Cut to the pets, and Devil)
Garfield: Hey, don’t worry, Odester. (Odie is worried. He sniffs Devil) The bushy tailed one here is just in shock. (The pup nudges Devil with his nose) He’ll wake up any minute now, just give him time.
Odie: Awwwwwww! (Odie’s heart is too big to leave anyone in need, even if it is a squirrel. He cautiously picks up Devil in his mouth and carries him inside. Garfield is befuddled by his bestie’s behavior)
Garfield: Hey, what are you doing? Naw, we don’t want that in the house! Jon doesn’t like having unconscious squirrels in the living room. (He holds his finger up)
(Garfield’s protests fall on deaf ears. The helpless squirrel rests on a cushion on the easy chair, not Garfield’s chair, but instead the pink one in the living room, with Odie watching over him. The Flabby Tabby is fed up with his canine companion's antics and decides to leave)
Garfield: I don’t want to have anything (He points at Devil) to do with this. (He leaves)
Odie: Grunt! Aww… (He suddenly gets an idea) Pants (He runs off) Mutters (He returns with a bone in his mouth and sets it on Devil’s body, his tail wagging) Pants (Despite his efforts, Devil is still out cold) Oh… Huh? Ohhhhhh. (His ears twitch as he thinks some more. He gets another idea, and his tail wags) Pants (He licks Devil’s face) Slurp! Slurp! Pants (Devil sits up and wipes the slobber from his face. He opens his eyes and sees Odie standing over him) Pants
Devil: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! (The shock is too much for Devil, and he passes out again)
Odie: (horrified) Gasp!
(Back in the tree, the four squirrels talk to an older and wiser squirrel, Professor Walnut)
Professor Walnut: It is sad what has happened to our friend. (He waves his finger in the air)
Female Squirrel: Professor Walnut, I've never heard of a dog catching a squirrel before. Is this a common event?
Professor Walnut: Oh no. (He shakes his head no) This is most unusual. As a matter of fact, this is a FIRST! No dog in HISTORY has actually caught a squirrel. This is a tragedy!
Female Squirrel: I see. So would you say the future of squirrels (She looks at the others) as a species is in jeopardy?
Professor Walnut: Oh yes, definitely, definitely. (He puts his cane in his other paw and wags his finger at the female squirrel) It looks like we are at the end of an era and that we will all have to move to dog-free territories (He slowly gets off the stump he was on) and now, if you excuse me, (He gets down using some nuts as steps. The other four watch him go) I have some packing to do.
Female Squirrel: Take me with you! (She chases after him, returns to grab some nuts, and resumes the chase. The other three remain, adamant to stay)
Gray Squirrel: I don’t wanna move! I like it here!
Black Squirrel: Yeah! Maybe we can talk to the dog, make peace with him.
Gray Squirrel: After all the rotten things we’ve done to him? Don’t be foolish! (He pokes his head with both paws) He must hate our guts!
Black Squirrel: We can try! (He holds his finger up) What do we got to lose? (All three of them don’t seem to like the idea of moving, but realize there may not be any other choice)
Squirrels: Sigh… (They all have their heads sadly)
(Back inside, Devil has recovered from his fainting spell. Odie is hopping around playfully in front of him)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Pants (He goes to give Devil another friendly lick. The squirrel winces and raises his paw, bracing for the worst) Slurp!
Devil: Oh no! He’s tasting me! He’s gonna eat me!
Odie: Huh? (He tilts his head. Nothing could be further from the truth. He then extends his paw, grinning) Mutter (He waves his paw, a gesture of truce between them. Devil is dumbfounded by the dumb dog’s display)
Devil: What? You wanna shake paws with me?
Odie: Pant Yeah! Yeah! (He nods his head emphatically)
Devil: After all the crummy things we’ve done to you?! (He understandably cannot comprehend Odie's gesture of kindness toward him)
Odie: Snicker Yeah! (He nods again and brings his paw closer, wagging his tail. Devil ponders it for a moment, but seeing how Odie cared for him, agrees to it and the two shake paws) Giggles
(Outside, the black squirrel is perched on the tree limb. The gray one joins him)
Gray Squirrel: That dog won’t wanna make peace with us! (The white one appears in the knothole)
Black Squirrel: We have to TRY!
White Squirrel: What if he tries to eat us? No telling WHAT he’s done to our friend! He’s… (He is cut off by Odie’s barking)
Odie: Bark! (The three squirrels look down to see Devil and Odie playing fetch with Odie’s red-and-blue ball) Bark, bark! (Devil throws the ball, and Odie chases after it. Black Squirrel rubs his eyes, unable to believe what he is seeing) Pants (He runs up, ball in his mouth, and drops it for Devil to throw again) Mutter (Devil tosses it the other direction. His squirrel brethren join him)
Gray Squirrel: Quick! While he’s away, (He points toward the tree while the black squirrel keeps watch, terrified) let’s get you outta here!
Black Squirrel: Make a run for it! (Devil glares at Black Squirrel and puts his paws on his hips)
Devil: Hey, I'm playing with my new friend! (All three squirrels are floored at this revelation)
Gray Squirrel: Your new friend?
White Squirrel: But he’s a… a… a dog! (Devil glares at him. He is having none of it)
Devil: What can I say? We had him all wrong! (Black Squirrel covers his mouth in stunned silence) Him and probably ALL dogs! (The scurry looks at Odie, who is bringing the ball back by bouncing it on his nose)
Odie: Pants (The three unnamed squirrels are grouped up, holding each other in fear)
Devil: Good boy! (He pats Odie’s head, and Odie thanks him with a slurp)
Odie: Slurp! (The other squirrels tremble, but seeing Devil and Odie get along calms their fear) Pants
(Back inside, Garfield is lazily watching some TV)
Man on TV: (in a slurred voice) Am I a schizophrenic? (He then uses a louder, angrier voice and alternates between them as he talks) Of course not! And neither am I. Yes you are! No, I'm not.
Garfield: And neither of you is worth watching. (He grabs the TV guide and reads it) Oh, what to watch, what to watch? (He is surprised by a familiar, and welcome, sound)
Odie: Bark! Bark!
Garfield: Could it be? Is it possible? It sounds like Odie’s chasing squirrels again! (He runs over to the window, addressing the viewers as he does) The best buy for your entertainment dollar! (He clings to the windowsill and looks outside, except he doesn’t get what he hoped for)
Odie: Bark! Bark, bark, bark!
Garfield: Wha? (Odie and the squirrels are dancing in a circle, hopping around and wagging their tails)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark! (The Flabby Tabby shakes his head, unable to believe what he is seeing)
Garfield: No! (Odie and his new friends break from their circle. The squirrels assemble in front of Odie and bow low before him)
Squirrels: We are forever your humble servants, oh wise one. (Garfield storms up to them from the side of the yard, his blood boiling)
Garfield: Odie? Wise? What color is the sky in your (He points at the scurry) world, Squirrels? Odie’s (He points at Odie with his thumb) idea of an intellectual pursuit (Odie gets a sad look) is chasing his tail for an hour. (Once again, Devil is having none of it. He steps forward and confronts the Tubby Tabby)
Devil: How dare you insult our friend! (The other squirrels are also angry at Garfield) Are we gonna let him talk like that about Odie?
Squirrels: (pointing) Apologize!
Garfield: I will NOT! (Odie looks at Garfield, and then the squirrels)
Devil: OK, brothers, get him! (He points at Garfield, and the scurry attacks. They leap onto Garfield simultaneously. Despite Garfield having the advantage in size, there are too many of them, and they keep coming back after he shoves them off)
Garfield: Hey, get off me! What do I look like, a bag of almonds?! (The squirrels overwhelm Garfield and bring him down. They then carry him toward the tree) Stop! Stop! No! Hey! Oh, no! (They carry him offscreen, where he lands with a thud) Yowl! (They stuck him in the same knothole that Odie got himself stuck into. Garfield scowls) Grrrr. (He speaks to the viewers) Well, it looks like my favorite show’s been canceled. (He shakes his head) No more Odie chasing squirrels, but when you get bad news, that’s the time to put on a happy face. Snickers (A wet squelching sound is heard. Devil painted a face on Garfield’s behind, just as he did to Odie earlier) Sigh. And if you don’t, sometimes someone will put one on for ya. (He glances behind him, irritated and humiliated. Odie and his friends, however, enjoy a good laugh at Garfield’s expense)
Odie and Squirrels: Laugh (As the camera zooms out, the squirrels scurry around the yard)
Odie: Right! (He joins them, hopping around the yard, and running in circles with them. With peace between Odie and the squirrels, and Garfield getting his just desserts, the episode comes to a close)
THE END