|
"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
This page is in serious need of a checkup!
Once the criteria is met, remove the {{Checkup Required}} tag. |
(The episode begins one day above Jon’s house. Garfield is snoring in his lawn chair in the backyard)
Garfield: Snore! Snore! Snore! (Nermal runs up to him)
Nermal: Gar-fielllld! (The fat cat doesn’t wake up. Nermal hops on the chair and shouts louder) Garfield!! (Garfield rolls over onto his side. Nermal yells louder) GARFIELD!!!!!! (The sudden scream wakes Garfield up)
Garfield: YAAHHHH! (He shakes, his toes curling from the rude wake-up call) Sputters (He leaps into the air, bounces off the ground, and lands on his back. The chair lands over him. After the shock wears off, he looks up at Nermal, who from his perspective, it upside-down) Oh it’s you, Nermal. (Cut to Garfield on the ground) I thought it might be somebody.
Nermal: (pointing) Just thought you’d like to know, I’M being entered in the BIG (Garfield gets up, and the camera angle does a 180 to show Nermal right-side up) pet show contest! (He gives a double thumbs-up. Garfield dusts his arm off)
Garfield: Not particularly.
Nermal: Well don’t be jealous, Garfield. (He points and lifts his foot as he mocks Garfield) It’s not YOUR fault that I'm adorable (Garfield’s fuse starts to get shorter and shorter) and you’re not. (Cut to Garfield) Hey, you don’t even know any tricks. (Garfield is surprised by this remark)
Garfield: Sure, I know a trick. (He holds his finger up) Wanna see a trick? (Nermal looks at him, smirking. One quick SMACK and Nermal gets to experience what being a home run baseball feels like)
Nermal: WAAAAHHHHH! (However, instead of landing in some lucky fan’s hands, he lands in a trash can on the other side of the fence) Oh… (He lifts his head, a fish skeleton on top of it. Garfield climbs the fence and leans over it)
Garfield: It’s called the “Hurl-the-obnoxious-kitten-out-of-the-yard-and-have-him-land-in-the-trash-dumpster” trick. (He shakes his head in a demeaning way) Don’t I do it well? (He hops off the fence. Nermal is furious)
Nermal: Alright, Garfield, just for that, (He points at the fence) I'm not sharing the lasagna with you. (He folds his arms and turns away from the fence spitefully. Of course, hearing the L word piques Garfield’s interest, and he leans over the fence)
Garfield: Lasagna? What lasagna? (He hops down and zooms into the neighbor’s yard to question Nermal more) Where’s lasagna?
Nermal: First prize in the pet show is 100 (He holds his finger up) pounds of Vito’s lasagna! (He crosses his arms again, smirking, seemingly confident that Garfield will not win)
Garfield: (while rubbing his paws together greedily) A whole three-day supply of Vito’s lasagna? Where do I sign up?
Nermal: (mockingly) Laughs No chance, Garfield! You’re not cute (He points) enough to even be entered into the pet show! (Garfield clenches his fists, determined to disprove Nermal) All the judges will just laugh at you.
Garfield: Oh yeah? We’ll see about that!
(Later that day, Garfield had managed to convince Jon to take him to auditions. However, just as Nermal predicted, everyone laughs at Garfield during his turn)
Judges: Uproarious laughter (Garfield’s smile quickly fades as he gets practically laughed out of the room. Pet Show Host shoos him away)
Garfield: (to the viewers) Boy, do I hate it when Nermal’s right. (The dejected cat sulks back to Jon–who has his purple camera with him–and Odie, who was also there for unknown reasons) Sigh… (Seeing his best friend so down fills the canine with compassion for him)
Odie: Whimper
Jon: Didn’t make it, Garfield? I’m sorry.
Garfield: I guess the judges and I are even. I don’t think they’re so cute either. (Odie walks up to Garfield and rubs his nose against the fat cat’s tummy to try and cheer him up)
Odie: Mutters (Garfield flashes a small smile)
Garfield: It’s OK, Odie. (He puts a paw between him and Odie’s affection, or at least, the dog’s wet nose)
Pet Show Host: Mr. Arbuckle, I'm sorry (The Pet Show Host, who is also a judge, walks up to Jon and the pets) we had to reject your cat, but he’s just so… uncute.
Garfield: Well you’re no Ms. Supermodel (He folds his arms) yourself, fella.
Pet Show Host: Gasp! (Garfield wiggles his toes on the floor. Odie rubs his best friend some more, this time on the back)
Odie: Whimpers (Though the cat is still a bit sour, but the judge’s eye is captivated by Odie’s love for Garfield)
Pet Show Host: Is that your dog? (He points at Odie)
Jon: Sure, his name is Odie. (The judge clasps his hands together)
Pet Show Host: This is the cutest dog I’ve ever seen in 20 years of judging pet shows. (He wiggles his fingers) You MUST enter him in the contest!
Odie: Huh? (Garfield slides over and whispers Odie some advice)
Garfield: Do it Odester! I’ll be your manager (He winks) and if you win, we’ll split the prize.
Odie: Gasp! Really?
Garfield: “Rearry.” (He talks like Odie, and the pup is ready to compete)
Odie: Bark! Pants (Garfield raises his paw to his lips and secretly addresses the audience)
Garfield: Note: I did not say, “equally”.
Odie: Bark! Bark! (He hops in place)
Jon: My dog seems to want to be in the contest. (Odie barks some more as the two humans chat)
Pet Show Host: Excellent! (Odie is still bouncing and barking) I’ll go fill out the paperwork! That means we have 83 contestants. (He leaves. The number of participants catches Garfield by surprise)
Garfield: 83 contestants? Whew! How’s Odie gonna win all that lasagna for me against 82 other contestants?
(Garfield continues to ponder this question as he and the panting puppy walk toward the back of the line with all the other competing cats and canines)
Garfield: I’ll have to do something to kinda narrow the odds a bit.
Odie: Pants (Upon reaching the end of the line, they see a familiar face, Harry, who is tapping his foot impatiently. Harry sees the pets and waves to them)
Harry: Hey hey, Garfield! (He turns around) As soon as I heard 1st prize was lasagna, (He gets up in Garfield’s face) I knew YOU’D (He points at the fat cat) be in this contest!
Garfield: Not me, (He shakes his head. All the contestants have badges on them with numbers 1 through 83. Odie, of course, is number 83 since he was the last to get signed up, and Harry has number 82) not for THAT lasagna.
Harry: I thought you LOVED Vito’s lasagna!
Garfield: Not any more. Not since Vito started making it… healthy. (Harry scratches his head, confused)
Harry: Healthy lasagna? Ain’t that a contradiction?
Garfield: He makes it out of soy (He counts on his fingers) and tofu, and then he throws in some tofu and soy. (Harry is grossed out by this news)
Harry: Ewww! Sounds awful! (He holds up his paws, repulsed. Garfield wags his finger at Harry)
Garfield: It’s lasagna I won't eat. (Odie retracts his tongue) THAT oughta tell you plenty. (Odie resumes panting) I’m gonna go to the other pet show on the east side of town. They have real delicious lasagna as the prize. (Odie retracts his tongue again and Garfield starts heading out. Harry twitches, but then takes off toward him)
Harry: Hey, if that’s where the great prize is, that’s where I’m goin’! (He speeds past Garfield, who stops, his work only partially completed)
Garfield: Ah, one down, (He dusts off his paws, a job well done) 81 to go. (He begins working, trying to remove Odie’s other competition, starting with a wiener dog with a number 81 badge on his side)
Weiner Dog: Really? On the east side of town?
Garfield: Would I mislead you? (He smiles)
Weiner Dog: Laughs (Without hesitation, he takes off, losing his badge in the process. It floats into the camera, transitioning into Garfield talking to an unnamed brown cat with a similar physique to the fat cat)
Brown Cat: Oh! Well you always know where the good lasagna is, Garfield!
Garfield: Always.
(Garfield’s plan works to perfection. Practically all the contestants burst out the door and down the street, looking to get some of that superior lasagna)
Dogs: Barking
(Back inside, Garfield scans the list of contestants)
Garfield: Ahem, 79, 80, 81, huh, I missed one. (He points at the board. There is no time to remove that last contestant, as the pet show is about to begin. He turns to watch)
Pet Show Host: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! (The host is on stage, and the three judges sit behind a large podium behind the host) We seem to have lost most of our contestants. (He looks at his clipboard)
Garfield: (sarcastically) Gee, I wonder where they all went.
Pet Show Host: We only have two: Odie the dog… (Odie trots onstage)
Crowd: Cheers and applause (Everyone claps, and one person takes pictures. The host introduces the other contestant)
Pet Show Host: and Nermal the cat! (The kitten skips onto the stage and gets cheers and applause from the crowd. Garfield quickly sees who he forgot to remove)
Garfield: Nermal! That’s the one I missed!
Nermal: Giggles (As everyone cheers, he sits down, lies on his back, and then gets back up)
Pet Show Host: Our two contestants will compete in several events to determine the winner, (Nermal gives everyone a thumbs-up) starting with the cuteness competition! (Jon and Garfield watch from the side. The fat cat looks deflated)
Jon: I know you’re rooting for Odie, Garfield, (He bends down and puts his hand on Garfield’s shoulder) but there’s NO WAY anyone’s going to beat Nermal in a cuteness competition.
Garfield: Yeah, (He shrugs Jon’s hand off and walks away) well we’ll see about that.
Pet Show Host: First, the judges will score Odie (He leans over the pup) in regard to cuteness. (He steps away. Odie starts his routine by balancing on one paw)
Crowd: Ooooooooh!
Odie: Snickers (He sits down and makes a heart shape with his ears)
Crowd: Ahhhhhhh! (He stands on his hind legs and strikes a pose) Ohhhhhhhh! (Everyone claps, and so does Garfield)
Garfield: I love a good intellectual competition.
Pet Show Host: Well, let’s see how the judges have scored Odie. (The camera pans to the judges, who hold up their scores, one at a time) Ah, Odie gets an eight, a nine, and a 10 for a total of 27 points! (Returning to the host) And now, we’ll test the cuteness of Nermal! (Garfield skids to a stop behind Odie, his plan already in motion)
Garfield: And now we’ll put cotton into Odie’s ears. (He stuffs two cotton balls into Odie’s oversized ears)
Odie: Huh?! Grunts (Nermal walks on his tiptoes onto the stage like a ballerina. He even poses like one and uses the big cat eyes for extra cuteness)
Nermal: Meow! Here’s why I take an early lead! (Odie grunts and strains as Garfield applies the cotton off-screen. Evidently, no one else noticed) I do cute better than anybody.
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhh! (Nermal holds a stuffed bunny) Awwwwwww!
Nermal: Meow! (He sits down, grabbing his toes)
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhh!
Nermal: Purr! (He stands back up, striking a pose that everyone finds adorable)
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhh! (Garfield, however, will not let Nermal win. He slides over to a chalkboard, cotton balls in his own ears, and addresses the viewing audience)
Garfield: (while pointing up) Observe what happens when you rub claws (He bares one claw) on the average blackboard. Laughs (He bares all four of his claws and rubs them on the blackboard. Everyone cries out from the awful sound, and Nermal contorts and makes some unappealing faces)
Nermal: Winces (The Pet Show Host is shocked by what he sees)
Pet Show Host: And in the cuteness competition, (Cut to the judges’ box. All of them are hiding) the judges give Nerman a one, a zero, and a minus-three! (The host stands over Nermal) I can’t believe it! You’re almost as un-cute as that (Nermal sits on the floor, whining and holding his toes) fat orange cat that applied earlier.
Garfield: Scoff. (He waves his paw at the host, dismissing his comment)
Pet Show Host: In any case, Odie (He gestures to the pup, who is now onstage) has won the first event!
Crowd: Cheers and applause (Everything is working flawlessly for Garfield. He rubs his paws together greedily)
Garfield: The lasagna prize will be mine! Well, mine and Odie’s, but mostly mine! (He folds his arms) We can’t possibly lose!
Pet Show Host: The next event will be based on intelligence! (Garfield winces)
Garfield: Ooh! (He looks at the panting pup. Never before has confidence gone from 100 to zero in such a short amount of time. He looks at the viewers) Boy, can we lose.
(The stage is set with two piles of random items)
Pet Show Host: The object of this competition is to find (He tiptoes to the side, showing everyone the piles) two matching items in the pile.
Garfield: Oh my… (He waves his paw dismissively again, seemingly already having accepted defeat)
Pet Show Host: Nermal will go first. On your mark, get set, go! (He gets off the stage. Nermal runs onto it)
Nermal: Ah… (He reaches into one pile and grabs a slipper. He reaches into the other one and effortlessly finds its twin) yay! (He gets cheers and applause from the crowd. The host reappears)
Pet Show Host: And Nermal finds one slipper and its match in seven seconds! (The proud kitten strolls past Odie)
Nermal: Ha! Let’s see you top that, dog! (Garfield skids up to Odie)
Odie: Bark!
Garfield: Alright, boy, (He points at the pup) go select an item from the pile. (He runs off and gets a slipper and places it on the ground between them)
Odie: Hmm?
Garfield: A slipper! OK, (He gives the pup a double thumbs-up and then shoos him away) now go pick another slipper out of the pile. (Odie runs off and returns with a baseball mitt) No, that’s a baseball mitt! (He points at the ground) We need a slipper! (Odie retrieves a flashlight and brings it to Garfield)
Odie: Mm-mm.
Garfield: (slightly agitated) NO! That’s a flashlight! (He points at the pup) We need a slipper! (He takes off and returns with a picture of Elvis)
Odie: Hm?
Garfield: NO! (He drops to his knees and covers his eyes, unable to look) That’s an 8 x 10 glossy of Elvis Presley! (He pounds the ground dramatically. Odie looks at the viewers. wondering what Garfield’s problem is)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: We need a slipper! A slipper! (Odie returns in the pile again. Hours pass, so long that the judges start to fall asleep. Odie nudges the Klopman Diamond to an exasperated Garfield, who is lying in front of a pile of stuff, including a TV, a chair, a couple of toilets, and a car) No, that would be the Klopman Diamond. (The host reappears)
Pet Show Host: I’m sorry, Odie has brought you every item in the building EXCEPT (He holds his finger up) for the slipper! (He points at Nermal) Nermal wins this event, (He waves at the crowd) tying the score!
Crowd: Cheers and applause (Nermal makes the peace sign with his paw. Garfield is left furious at Odie)
Garfield: Odie, why can’t you just (He grabs Odie and turns him around)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (continuing) bring me a slipper? (He starts shaking the pup roughly) Even you’re not THAT stupid! (The big-hearted beagle’s eyes spin from all the shaking) Why can’t you understand me? (After recovering, Odie shows the reason why)
Odie: Grunt! (He reaches into his ears and pulls out the cotton balls) Ahhhhh!
Pet Show Host: The contest will be settled by the final event, the obstacle course! (He runs in place) Everyone, step outside. (He takes off)
(Outside, the park has been designed into an obstacle course. Everyone is gathered around to watch the pets do it)
Pet Show Host: The pet who reaches the end of this obstacle course first will WIN the competition, and this piping-hot lasagna from the master (He steps to the side, revealing Vito behind him, with the plate of lasagna on a table) Italian chef, Vito!
Crowd: Cheers
Garfield: Laughs (He licks his lips greedily and wiggles his fingers, craving that lasagna. Odie and Nermal take their places at the starting line)
Odie: Pants (He and Nermal both assume running stance)
Pet Show Host: Pets ready? On your mark, get set, go! (He blows his airhorn, beginning the race. The pets take off off-screen, and a nest with eggs falls on the host’s head. A bluebird lands in said nest)
(As for the race, Odie is running on two legs with an early lead)
Odie: Pants (Nermal blows by him and makes short work of the tires)
Nermal: Giggles (He leaps into the center of each tire and bounces out, as if he was on a trampoline. Odie has to do the same thing)
Odie: Right! Gasp! (He lands hard in the middle of the first tire) Oof!
Nermal: Laughs (The next obstacle is a balance beam. Though Odie is still close behind, Nermal breezes by the beam too, balancing on his fingers and toes to get across. Odie, however, falters)
Odie: Whimpers Moan (He stumbles like a person leaving a bar on Friday night and flies off the beam in mid-air) Bowl! (Odie falls to the ground afterwards. His friends, though, are rooting for him)
Garfield: Ahhh... (Jon even has himself an Odie-themed pennant that he’s waving around and a hat.)
Crowd: Cheers
(With a decent lead, the kitten effortlessly passes the next obstacle: a rope swing over a mud puddle making a Trazan yell in the process. Odie is no quitter, and despite his exhaustion and Nermal’s big lead, is still going but now on 4 legs)
Odie: Wheezes (He leaps and grapes the rope in his mouth in slow motion) Strain! (Unfortunately, he forgot to let go of it and is left hanging) Whimpers Hmm? (Jon moves back in shock, and Garfield covers his eyes, but takes a peek between his fingers while the crowd moans) Gasp! (He slides down the rope onto the ground with a thump. The next obstacle is a wall that they have to climb. Nermal tiptoes like a ballerina over it with the crowd amazed, and Odie tries running up it) Pants (Odie falls flat on his stomach, extending Nermal’s lead. Jon and Garfield look defeated)
Jon: Nermal’s nearing the finish line. Face it, Garfield, Odie’s lost. (Garfield shakes his fist)
Garfield: I’m not giving up that lasagna without a fight! (He takes Jon’s camera from his hands and takes off with it) Grunt!
(The race is nearly over. Nermal is all alone in the home stretch)
Pet Show Host: And Nermal’s heading for the finish line. Looks like this one is just about over, folks.
Nermal: Ahh! (As he races to the end, Garfield runs with him)
Garfield: One more photo, Nermal! (He grins)
Nermal: Giggles (Garfield snaps a photo. The flash from the camera gets Nermal’s attention) Gasp! My public! (He skids to a stop a few feet short of the finish line to get his picture taken)
Pet Show Host: What’s this? Nermal’s stopped just short of the finish line for a photo op!
Garfield: Just one more! (He gets different angles of the kitten like a paparazzi) Uhh, now smile this way! One more photo, Nermal! (Nermal strikes some poses) Uh, now your good side! Now your OTHER good side! (Garfield’s distraction opens the door for Odie, who is breathlessly running to the finish line)
Odie: Breathless pants
Pet Show Host: And now what’s happening? (While Nermal struts his stuff, Odie slowly but surely runs up behind him) Odie has come from behind and is heading for the finish line!
Odie: Breathless pants (He flops over the finish line, winning the race)
Pet Show Host: And Odie’s the winner!
Crowd: Cheers and applause
Nermal: Hey, what’s everybody cheering about? I didn’t win yet. (Garfield lowers the camera)
Garfield: And it looks like it’s gonna stay that way. (Nermal suddenly realizes what happened)
Nermal: Gasp! (Both cats turn and see Odie flopped over the finish line. Jon walks over and picks him up, while Nermal is dejected. He waves his arm dismissively) Whine!
(After returning inside the building where the contest took place, Jon congratulates the pup)
Jon: Hey hey! (He pats Odie’s head) Nice job, Odie! You’re a champion!
Odie: Chuckles Awww! (Garfield nods, looking at the lasagna on the floor in front of him)
Jon: Enjoy your lasagna prize, fellas. Oh, and Garfield, (He wags his finger at the fat cat. Garfield turns to face him) Odie won the contest, so divide it up fairly. (Odie retracts his tongue. Garfield turns around)
Garfield: (acting offended) Gasp! Did you think I wouldn't? Did you think I would cheat someone out of their fair (He gestures to it) share of lasagna? Odie gets a piece and I get a piece. What could be fairer than that?
Odie: Pants Hmm. (Garfield–while grinning maliciously–serves Odie a giant circular platter of lasagna) Pants
Garfield: Here’s (He sets the tray on the ground) your one piece.
Odie: Oooh. Huh? (To his shock, Garfield only left him with one measly sliver, barely a bite’s worth of lasagna)
Garfield: And here’s MY one piece. (He takes off with the other 99.9 pounds of lasagna being carried over his head in his paws) I won’t eat it all now, I’ll eat some now, and some in eight minutes. Nothing will prevent me from enjoying this. (After leaving the building, he suddenly skids on his heels to a stop)
Dogs: Snarl! (Five of the other contestants, including Harry, Fluffykins, Rottweiler, and Doberman scowl angrily at Garfield)
Harry: There WAS (He puts his paws on his hips) no pet show on the east side of town! (Garfield is visibly nervous for his life)
Garfield: What?! No pet show on the east side of town? Boy, wait ‘til I get my paws on that evil liar who told me that! (Harry leads the charge and steps toward the conniving cat. Garfield steps back)
Harry: Yeah, we walked ALL the way over there, and back, and now we’re hungry! What do you have to say to that?!
Dogs: Snarl!
Garfield: Whimpers (As he backtracks, Odie taps him on the shoulder. Even the mild-mannered pup is ticked at him)
Odie: Mm-hmm.
Garfield: Wha?
Odie: Mutters (He shows Garfield his “share” and scowls at him, undoubtedly demanding close to half of the prize, or at the very least, more)
Garfield: Care for some lasagna? (He grabs Odie’s tray. The offering of lasagna cools the other animals down)
Harry: Thanks. I thought you’d NEVER offer. (He shoves Odie’s slice into Harry’s paws. Everyone sees the meager amount and is shocked and furious)
Animals: GRRRRR! (Odie doesn’t comprehend what happened)
Odie: Huh? (He turns to his right, but Garfield is already booking it down the street)
Garfield: Pants (The other contestants chase after him)
Dogs: Repeated barking (The episode ends here)
THE END