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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode begins in the park. Several people are walking, a father and son are passing a volleyball to each other, and Garfield is stuffing his face with hot dogs from the hot dog cart)
Garfield: Another one! Another one! Another one! Another one! Another one! Another one! Another one! Another one! Another one! (He pauses to address the viewer) Do you get the idea that I like hot dogs? (He holds up a half-eaten hot dog and raises his paw expectantly) Another one!
Hot Dog Vendor: I’m sorry, pal. I’m all out of hot dogs. (He gets out from behind his cart, a piece of paper in his hand)
Garfield: Chewing noises (The vendor walks toward Jon, who is sitting on a bench, sketching on a notepad. Odie stands next to him, panting and wagging his tail)
Odie: Pants
Jon: Hums (Odie sees the vendor and greets him)
Odie: Bark! (Jon sees the vendor as well and rolls his eyes, exasperated)
Jon: Sigh…
Hot Dog Vendor: Here’s your bill. (He shows Jon the bill and glances over at Garfield, who is rubbing his tummy)
Garfield: Chewing noises (Jon pulls out his wallet)
Jon: Here’s my wallet. (He hands it to the vendor, who immediately takes it back with him)
Garfield: Hums
Jon: Garfield, I said we could stop for a light snack.
Garfield: Contented sigh!
Jon: (continuing) 244 hot dogs is NOT a light snack!
Garfield: They are if you leave off the chili. (Outside, a limo pulls up. A butler opens the limo door and out flies Tyler Edge)
Tyler Edge: Chuckles (He gives the butler a thumbs-up and strolls into the park. The hot dog vendor sees him)
Hot Dog Vendor: (nervously) Good afternoon, Mr. Edge.
Tyler Edge: I keep telling you, Joe, call me Tyler. (He leans against the stand) I’ll have the usual. (He looks at his fingernails. Jon notices him)
Jon: Did that man say he was Tyler Edge?
Garfield: I didn’t hear a word after, “Sorry, I’m all out of hot dogs.” (The hot dog vendor gives Tyler his usual)
Hot Dog Vendor: Here you go. One six-sausage sandwich. (Tyler takes it)
Tyler Edge: Thanks. (He gives the man a bill)
Hot Dog Vendor: Mr. Edge, (He catches himself) Tyler, I don't have change for a $1,000 bill!
Tyler Edge: Keep the change! Buy yourself a house. Chuckle (The hot dog vender need not hear more. He smiles at the $1,000 bucks)
Hot Dog Vendor: Yeah! (Tyler leaves, chomping on his sandwich)
Jon: That IS Tyler Edge!
Garfield: I didn't hear a word after “Six-sausage sandwich.”
Odie: Oh… (Tyler, now almost done with his sandwich, strolls over to Jon)
Tyler Edge: Chewing noises Cartoonist, huh? (Jon looks at him sheepishly, while Garfield stares daggers into Tyler)
Garfield: (angrily) Ohhh!
Tyler Edge: (continuing) What are you drawing?
Jon: Oh nothing, really. I’m kinda doodling, (He flips his sketchbook around to show Tyler his doodle: a one-eyed bunny with massive, jagged teeth) you know, looking for a new comic strip character. You’re Tyler Edge, aren’t you. (He grins)
Tyler Edge: Oh I'm not Tyler Edge. (HE shovels the last bite of sandwich into his mouth) I'm THE Tyler Edge.
Jon: Giggles
Odie: Pants (Garfield puts his finger to his chin, pondering for a moment)
Garfield: Tyler Edge, Tyler Edge… hm, that name sounds familiar. Odie, do you know who Tyler Edge is? Of course not you never know anything. Wait here. (He takes off to get some answers)
Odie: Huh? (Garfield races over to a man using a laptop)
Garfield: Pants (He spins the laptop around)
Man: Hey!
Garfield: Sorry! (He types rapidly on the keyboard) I need to borrow your computer for a second. Tyler Edge, Tyler Edge, Tyler Edge… Gasp! (He finds a video of Tyler getting interviewed) Ahhhh, here we are!
Male Announcer: Tyler Edge made his first zillion dollars when he was 16 years old. (He blows on his fingernails and wipes them off. The is then seen relaxing and talking with someone at a party) He quickly built the world’s largest empire of video games, cartoon shows, comic books, and major motion pictures. (The next shot is of him leaning outside a limo window, waving and tossing money out of it) They call him, “The man who knows EXACTLY what today’s young audiences want to buy.”
Garfield: Thanks. (He spins the laptop around) I just had to look that up. (He runs back to his friends. The man just shrugs and resumes typing at his keyboard)
(Nearby, Tyler is still talking to Jon)
Tyler Edge: The way you draw is kind of… (He points at Jon’s sketchpad) interesting. (Garfield returns) Tell you what, (Odie turns around and sees Garfield) what’d you say your name was?
Jon: Jon Arbuckle.
Tyler Edge: (thinking) Not a good name, but OK. Tell you what, bring me a concept (He points at the sketchpad again) and if I think today’s audience will go for it, I'll make you a very rich man. (He takes a card of his and puts it on Jon’s head)
Garfield: Huh? (Tyler turns and high steps away. Jon looks up at the card)
Jon: Ooh!
Tyler Edge: (turning around) I’ll give you one tip: draw and write what you know. (He runs back to his limo)
Jon: Oh. (He takes the card and looks at it)
Garfield: Hmmm… (Jon leaps up from his seat)
Jon: Guys, this is the opportunity of a lifetime! I wanna go right home and go to work! (He races off)
Garfield: OK, but on the way home, (He looks at Odie, who in turn looks back at him) can we stop for more hot dogs?
(Back at home, Jon is in his office, attempting to create a new comic)
Jon: I’m thinking maybe a college student… who gets stung by a spider and develops spider abilities! Nahhh! No one would ever read a comic book like that! (He tosses a crumpled-up ball of paper away. It bounces off the open door in front of the pets)
Garfield: Jon is having this thing called, “writer’s block.” Do you know what writer’s block is, Odie? (The whole floor is covered with dozens of crumpled-up balls)
Odie: Uh-uh.
Garfield: It’s when you stare stupidly at a blank (Jon tosses another reject idea behind him) page for days, (He raises his voice to a shout) AND FORGET TO FEED YOUR ADORABLE PETS!!! (He glares at Jon. Odie also glares at his owner)
Odie: Frustrated mutters
Jon: (scribbling frantically) A gerbil… a crime fighting gerbil! No! No, a horse and set in the stone age! No, two horses and a sailor and the sailor’s a robot! Laughs And they’re all fish… and radioactive! (He turns to his pets, his eye twitching)
Garfield: It’s been done.
Jon: Moans Cries I’m a failure! A failure! (He slams his face against his desk and pounds his fist into it) I can’t come up with any new fresh ideas!
Garfield: C’mon, Odie, (He nudges the pup with his elbow and points up) let’s give him a new, fresh idea.
Odie: Bark! Mutters
Garfield: Why, US, (He puts his paw on the back of Odie’s head) of course.
Jon: Cries (He wipes a tear from his eye and then hears a party favor) Huh?
Garfield: Laughs (Garfield and Odie emerge from behind the sofa wearing red noses. They hop onto it and then off of it, performing and acting comedically) Snickers
Jon: Oh. (The pets continue their act) Laughs (They finish by sliding on their knees in front of Jon, their paws outstretched) I get it. You think I should draw up a comic book (He points at his pets) about you guys!
Garfield: The man is clear on the concept. (Odie nods)
Jon: Oh, it would never work. (He opens the door and leaves. Garfield and Odie turn and watch him go) A comic about a cat who eats lasagna and sleeps all day? And a dog with a long tongue? Scoff! Who would be interested in something like THAT?! (I don’t know, Jon. Give it a shot. Regardless, the dejected cartoonist heads downstairs, his pets following)
Garfield: Pants
(Jon arrives in the kitchen, still quite down)
Jon: Moaaaan… (He grabs a mug as his pets run up)
Odie: Awww…
Garfield: Sigh.
Jon: If I took an idea like that to Tyler Edge, (He pours himself a cup of coffee) he’d throw me right out of his… (He stops and remembers something Tyler said)
Tyler Edge: I give you one tip: draw and write what you know.
Jon: Huh? “What you know…” Ah! (He smiles at his pets)
Garfield: Laughs (He smiles smartly and taps his foot)
Odie: Mutters
Jon: I could do a comic about a cat who eats lasagna and sleeps all day. (Both pets voice their approval)
Garfield: Yes!
Odie: Bark! (He nods)
Jon: AND a puppy with a long tongue that fetches sticks all the time!
Garfield: Yes! (Both pets grin and nod excitedly)
Odie: Bark!
Jon: And I could set it in the future and make you both (He tosses the mug and coffee pot away. Something breaks) zombie penguins!
Garfield: No! (Both pets shake their heads no)
Odie: Mutters disapprovingly
Jon: Whimpers You’re right. (He wags his finger) No zombie penguins! (He races into the living room) This is the greatest idea in the world. (Garfield and Odie follow him through the upstairs hallway into the office)
Garfield: Pants
Jon: And I have so much material for it! (Garfield and Odie look at each other and smile)
Garfield: Laughs
(Later on, the comic is finished. Jon and the pets are now at Tyler Edge’s building to discuss it)
Jon: Thank you for agreeing to look at my idea. (Nearby, several people are playing basketball on an indoor court) I hope you like it. (Jon and the pets are on one side of a pool table, Tyler on the other side. Jon is dressed in a nice suit with his comics under his arm. Odie has his front paws on the table so he can see better. Another random person is playing pool, although they are doing it wrong since they are using the 9-ball as the cue ball)
Tyler Edge: If I like it, the WORLD will like it. (The guy strikes the 9-ball) Lay it on me.
Jon: Laughs (Garfield and Odie look at Jon) Well, it’s about a fat, orange cat. (He reveals a picture of Garfield in bed sleeping on a bed. Garfield himself grins) Hey hey! (Tyler stares blankly at it. Jon nervously continues) And there’s a pea-brained puppy! (He gestures to Odie. Tyler just blinks. A fly buzzes by) Here are some drawings I did. (He shuffles over and shows some drawings, one of whom is Garfield in his bed on the bed with Odie standing nearby)
Tyler Edge: They’re on paper!
Jon: (wincing nervously) Well, yeah. Drawings are usually ON paper.
Tyler Edge: I can’t relate to PAPER, Arbuckle, (He tosses the comics onto the table and leaves) I have to see things ANIMATED. (He points in front of him) Let’s go to my animation department. (Jon takes off after him)
Garfield: Huh? (Odie gets down)
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: Sigh… (He shrugs at Odie. Jon catches up with Tyler, and the pets do as well)
Jon: You mean you’re going to have your team of animators animate my comic strip? That’s fantastic!
Tyler Edge: Team of animators? Don’t be ridiculous. (He opens the door to a large room)
Jon, Garfield, and Odie: Huh? (They look inside. The walls are lined with computers and in the center of the room in a table whose top is a screen. Everyone walks in)
Tyler Edge: We got rid of animators YEARS ago. Everything is done by computers now. Why pay people to sit and draw all day?
Jon: (pointing) Can you believe it, guys? You’re going to be animated!
Garfield: (sarcastically) Us? (He gestures at Odie, who wags his tail) Cartoon characters? Scoff. Who would’ve thought.
Odie: Uh-huh! Yeah! Yeah! (Tyler leans against the table and taps his fingers on it)
Tyler Edge: We’re working on having the computer create a solid hologram of a character, (He puts Jon’s drawings into a slot on the side) but that’s in the future. (He presses buttons on the screen. Jon and the pets watch in awe)
Jon: Gasp!
Tyler Edge: Right now, it’s building computer models based on your drawings. (The screen projects an hourglass spinning, like an old-fashioned loading symbol)
Jon: Huh?
Odie: Yowl! (After a moment, Garfield is projected)
Tyler Edge: Alright, done. (He types buttons on the screen) Now let’s see what an episode might look like. (The screen projects Garfield in his bed sleeping on the bed)
Projected Garfield: Snore… (Projected Odie walks up with a stick in his mouth)
Projected Odie: Mutters Bark!
Projected Garfield: No, I will not go throw the stick so you can fetch it. (A buzzer sounds)
Tyler Edge: Bo-ring!
Jon: I think it’s pretty good. (Garfield crosses his arms and glares at Tyler)
Tyler Edge: (pointing) That’s because you aren’t me. First thing, the color of the cat is all wrong. (Garfield looks at his paws and grunts disapprovingly. Tyler tries changing Garfield’s color on the projection) Maybe blue or beige or… hey, polka dots are popular! (Garfield’s fur turns green with pink polka dots. The real cat is not amused in the slightest)
Garfield: I look like I have measles. (He scowls at the screen)
Tyler Edge: Wait, wait, pink! (Jon and the pets are in shock)
Garfield: Wha?
Jon: AHH!
Tyler Edge: (pointing) Pink is VERY big this year. I hear they may even make the sky pink.
Jon: Do you think Garfield (He looks at his cat, who gives him a disapproving look. Odie too dislikes it, as he shakes his head no) should be pink like that and…?
Tyler Edge: (typing) I like it.
Jon: I like it. (His face says otherwise, as he is wincing. Garfield growls at him)
Garfield: Grrrrrrr!
Tyler Edge: Now we have to do something about that… voice of his. (He presses a button and Garfield’s voice plays on screen)
Projected Garfield: I want some lasagna.
Tyler Edge: Eh, it doesn’t fit him. I’ll try some different ones. Here. (He begins typing some more, and Garfield’s projection tries several different voices, none of them being Chris Pratt’s, but none of them fitting)
Projected Garfield: (cowboy) I want some lasagna. (whiny) I want some lasagna. (fancy) I want some lasagna. (This phrase repeats itself several more times in different voices as the camera switches to Odie, Jon, and Garfield)
Odie: Snickers
Jon: Chuckles
Garfield: (angrily) OOOOOOOH! (He is so angry he shakes) Hmph! (He crosses his arms and ignores it)
Tyler Edge: I know what we need: a celebrity voice! (He raises his finger. Chris Pratt, anyone? No? OK)
Garfield: I thought I was a celebrity. (He puts his paws on his hips)
Tyler Edge: It’s VERY popular these days, animated characters voiced by movie stars. (He taps a button and Garfield gets Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice)
Projected Garfield: I’ll be back, for more lasagna! (It’s so loud the room shakes)
Garfield: (pointing) I’m starting to really not like this. (He looks uneasy)
Jon: Well, (He scratches his head, clearly uncertain about this new direction) OK… now what about Odie? (He points at the pup)
Garfield and Odie: Huh?
Tyler Edge: I’m thinking let’s lose the dog. (He presses a button. On-screen, a hand grabs Odie and yoinks him away)
Projected Odie: Yelp!
Projected Garfield: Hasta la vista, (He waves) Odie!
Odie: Sad mutters (Garfield scowls at Tyler once again, trembling with rage)
Garfield: Grrrrrr!
Jon: But… But Odie is an important part of the idea!
Tyler Edge: Nobody wants to see DOGS. (I do, but then again, my name is BigOdieFan. He wags his finger at Garfield) How many hit cartoon shows can you name that have a DOG?
Garfield: All of them. (He scowls)
Tyler Edge: For that matter, (He wags his finger) I'm not so sure about a cat.
Garfield: Doh! (Tyler presses some buttons and Garfield’s species changes to various animals, all of whom Tyler rejects. Among them are a goat, an elephant, a cow, an oyster, and a non-animal too: a trash can)
Tyler Edge: No, no, no, I don't think so. WRONG! Definitely NOT! (He stops on the cat version of Garfield) Maybe a cat (He scratches his head) but a different design. (Jon zips up to him)
Jon: Couldn’t we let Garfield be Garfield?
Tyler Edge: Wait! I have it! I have it, Arbuckle! (He types some more buttons) The most awesome today vision! (He puts both hands on the screen) That’s it! That’s it! (What appears is a green, monstrous version of the fat cat. Garfield is horrified, and Odie is repulsed)
Garfield: Gasp! Whimper
Odie: (gagging) Blech! Blech!
Garfield: “Blech!” is right. (Odie nods)
Jon: Tyler, what is it?
Tyler Edge: What is it, Arbuckle? It’s the idea that’s gonna make me another jillion dollars, and youuuuu (He double points at him) a couple of bucks. (He gives Jon a thumbs-up and winks. Jon, however, sees Tyler’s true colors)
Jon: I think I'll take my idea somewhere else. (Tyler is hunched over, his mouth open in shock)
Garfield: (relieved) Yay, Jon! (He follows, and Odie is right behind, sticking his nose up and humming mockingly, as if too good for it)
Odie: Hums
Tyler Edge: Wait! You can’t leave! You’re not getting my full vision! Here! Here! I’ll create a solid hologram of him to show ya!
Jon: I thought you said that process wasn’t perfected. (He stops in front of the door. His pets stop as well, and they all turn around)
Tyler Edge: Well it isn’t, but, (He wags his finger at Jon) I have to make you see what I see. (He clacks the screen yet again, and a 3D rendering of the monster is created) See? See how AWESOME it is? (Jon and the pets, however, are petrified)
Jon: Gasp! No! (Garfield hides behind Jon’s leg. Odie, in turn, hides behind Garfield, both of them trembling in fear) It’s horrible! Get rid of it! (Tyler refuses, so Garfield takes matters into his own paws. He taps some buttons and the projection becomes alive)
Garfield Monster: Get rid of me? I get rid of YOU!
Tyler Edge and Garfield: Whimper (The monster shoots a fireball at them. Tyler and Garfield dodge it)
Garfield: YOWLLLL!
Garfield Monster: ROAR! (He beats his chest)
Garfield: Whimpers (He and Tyler hide behind Jon. The monster shoots more fireballs at them, and they respond by circling the room in a panic)
Jon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Whimpers
Odie: HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWL!
Garfield: Oh no! (He and Odie race to the door. Garfield bangs on it, Odie scratches at it, but their efforts are fruitless) Let’s get outta here! (He is almost hit by another fireball) YAAHHH!
(Cut to outside the building, where the blasts are so powerful it shakes the camera. Cut back to inside)
Garfield Monster: I’ll get you! (Everyone is hiding behind a piece of computer equipment, barely peeking out of it. Odie peeks out the side, while everyone else looks over the top)
Garfield and Jon: Whimper
Garfield Monster: ROAAAAR! (He blasts the computer, which starts beeping and then, fading out. The projection disintegrates)
Odie: Mutters
Jon: Is he gone?
Tyler Edge: He destroyed the computer that projected his hologram. You’ll never see him again. (Odie is out from his hiding spot)
Garfield: Good! (Garfield steps beside the pup) From the neck down, he was pretty ugly. (Jon and Tyler walk toward the table in the center)
Tyler Edge: My entire computer animation department is destroyed! It’ll take, (The pets follow Jon) like, YEARS to rebuild it. What do I do ‘til then?
Jon: Uh, I don't know. Maybe hire some human BEINGS who know how to draw?
Tyler Edge: (pointing) You just might be onto something, Arbuckle. (The table spits Jon’s drawings back out. Tyler grabs them, but Jon swipes them out of his hands)
Garfield: Chuckles (He gives Jon a thumbs-up)
(The main three of them leave. Tyler watches them go)
Jon: Lucky my drawings survived. I’m going to look for someone who likes my idea enough to keep it the way it is.
Tyler Edge: Well, (He waves good-bye) good luck, but I think you’re wasting your time. (Jon and his pets head out)
Odie: Mutters
Jon: What do you think, guys?
Garfield: (shrugging) Oh, I don’t know. (He glances over his shoulder) Odie, do you think anyone would watch a cartoon show about a cat that eats lasagna and a puppy with a long tongue?
Odie: Uh-uh. (He shakes his head no and catches up so that he and his bestie are side-by-side)
Garfield: Yeah, me neither. (You never know, Garfield. You might even find two cartoon shows and even more TV specials. Nonetheless, as the three of them head up the street, the episode wraps up)
THE END
