Garfield Wiki
Transcript

(The episode begins with Garfield, Jon, and Odie walking around downtown. They pass Clothier's salon. Garfield's theme song can be heard in the background.)

Jon: Let's find a place to eat, guys.

Garfield: Music to my ears, Arbuckle! (Garfield turns to Odie.) I have a date with Gwendolyn tonight so I should eat light. Let's only go to two all-you-can-eat places.

(The characters reach a stone building with columns, where a woman dressed like a gypsy is standing in the entrace. There is a sign next to her, where brown letters on green plate read "Madame LaFong's Mystic Museum".)

Madame LaFong: Gentlemen! (Jon immediately stops, Garfield and Odie keep walking.)

Jon: Where?! (Jon is confused.)

Madame LaFong: Welcome to Madame LaFong's Mystic Museum. (Garfield and Odie return to Jon.) For about five measly dollars, you can view great mysteries of the ages.

Jon: Okay, here's your money. (Jon gives the woman the banknotes.) Show us the mysteries of the ages. (Madame LaFong leads Jon inside her museum. Garfield and Odie follow him.)

Garfield: Behave yourself. Try not to drool on anything expensive.

(The interior of the museum resembles a dungeon, with stone walls and floor with a wooden ceiling. Sculptures and pottery can be seen.)

Madame LaFong: This is the cursed Wanamaji orb. If you touch it, all your children will grow up to be encyclopedia salesmen. (Jon, Garfield, and Odie are shocked.)

Garfield: Now that's what I call "a curse." (Jon approaches an object mounted on a wall, which looks like a standard fire extinguisher.)

Jon: Oh! I know what this is - it's a 19th century Mayan temple bell, right?

Madame LaFong: No, that's a fire extinguisher.

Jon: That was my next guess!

(Odie is sniffing a seemingly stone statue, which looks like Moai found on Easter Island. Garfield approaches from behind.)

Garfield: Don't touch anything, Odie. (Odie keeps sniffing the statue's feet. A yellowish energy spreads around Odie and immobilizes him. Garfield approaches Odie with worry in his eyes.) I said don't touch! (Garfield attempts to take Odie away from the statue and gets caught in the magical energy. Madame LaFong leads Jon while holding his hand to the statue.)

Madame LaFong: Over here, we have the Idol of Id. Legend has it that if two people touch the idol, their minds exchange. (Odie is standing bipedal with smarter gaze than usually, while Garfield is standing on his four feet and drooling like a dog.)

Jon: Yeah, right.

Madame LaFong: Well, that's your tour.

Jon: That's it? Two statues and a fire extinguisher? You promised me great mysteries! What did I get for my money?

Madame LaFong: That's one of the mysteries.

Jon: What a rip-off! Come on, Garfield! Come on, Odie! (Jon leaves the building disgruntled, his pets follow him. Garfield is barking like Odie. Dramatic music can be heard in the background.)

(The scenery changes into Garfield's house. It is night.)

Jon: I'll go get dinner ready, guys. (Jon walks to the kitchen. Garfield is drooling and breathing like Odie usually does, while Odie is about to kick Garfield, but he withdraws. Garfield walks away.) Garfield! Dinner!

Garfield (as Odie): Dinner! (Odie runs to the kitchen, where Jon sets a platter with lasagna. Odie jumps on the table and devours lasagna in Garfield's typical way.) More! And hurry it up. I have to go meet Gwendolyn for our date. (Odie is waving his platter. Jon snatches it.)

Jon: You just ate Garfield's food...

Garfield (as Odie): I always eat my food. And everyone else's. (Odie burps and grins. Jon is staring at Odie with widely opened eyes and mouth.) Gotta go find a gift for Gwendolyn. See you later. (Odie waves goodbye to Jon, jumps off the kitchen table and walks away. Jon remains amazed.) Jon's lookin' a lil' strange tonight. But then, Jon always looks a lil' strange. (Odie walks past the kitchen door to the garden.)

Jon: That's not like Odie, eating Garfield's supper like that. (Jon walks back to the kitchen.) I guess he got sick of his doggy dinner.

Odie (as Garfield): BARF! (Jon is staring at Garfield with amazement, as Garfield is behaving like Odie normally does. Jon crouches and slowly passes Garfield Odie's bowl. Garfield eats its content at Jon's sight. After finishing the meal, Garfield leaps on Jon and licks his face. Jon pushes Garfield right to Odie's bowl.) Garfield! I mean Odie! I mean... I mean... I-I don't know what I mean! (Jon leaves Garfield and is walking around in circles.) Garfield's acting like Odie, and Odie's acting like Garfield. But why would- (Jon stops and reminds himself of Madame LaFong.)

Madame LaFong (in Jon's memories): Legend has it that if two people touch the idol, their minds exchange. (Jon's memories of Madame LaFong fade away.)

Jon: No... It's not possible. (Jon turns to the audience.) Is it? (Jon returns to Garfield, who is still drooling near Odie's bowl.) Garfield? (Garfield isn't reacting.) Garfield? (Garfield isn't reacting.) Odie? (Garfield immiediately turns towards Jon and barks at him with joy.) Oh no! Garfield is Odie, and Odie is Garfield... And... I gotta straighten this out! (Jon is confused.) Garfield - Odie! Whoever you are, we have to find Odie - or, or Garfield - or, or Garfield... Or, or, or whoever you aren't! Come on, Garfield... (Garfield isn't reacting.) Come on, Odie?

(Garfield barks and follows Jon, who is annoyed at the situation. The scenery changes into a back alley in the downtown. A large male brown cat is kneeling before a white female Persian cat.)

Brick: Hey Gwendolyn, honey... (Gwendolyn violently takes her paw from Brick's hands.)

Gwendolyn: Don't "Gwendolyn, honey" me, Brick! (Gwendolyn is poking Brick's belly with her index finger) I told you, it's all over between us! I'm dating Garfield tonight. (Gwendolyn is showing excitment for the upcoming date with Garfield.)

Brick: Hehehe, Garfield? That fat, lazy wimp? (Brick snatches his ears and pulls them downwards.) He's weird! (Brick is showing a silly facial expression to mock Garfield.)

Gwendolyn: He is a gentlecat! (Gwendolyn embraces herself.) Unlike some felines I could name. (Gwendolyn stands on her toes while talking to Brick, when Odie appears with flowers in his paw.)

Odie (as Garfield): Hi, Gwendolyn! (Brick and Gwendolyn are staring with amazement at Odie.)

Brick: So like, what do you want, dog?

Odie (as Garfield): Who are you callin' a dog? (Odie is pointing his index finger at Brick.)

Brick: I am calling YOU "a dog", dog! (Brick approaches and is pointing his index finger right at Odie's neck.) And I hate dogs. (Brick clenches his fist and is showing signs of aggression.)

Odie (as Garfield): Excuse me, I think I have to be any place else. (Odie flees and abandons the flowers. Brick is chasing him down the back alley.) Hey, why you chasing me? I'm a fellow cat!

Brick: Don't try to con me, dog!

(The scenery changes to the main street, Jon and Odie in Garfield's body are searching for Garfield in Odie's body.)

Jon: We've gotta find him! Garfield, go look for Odie. - (Garfield isn't reacting. Jon is shaking his head.) Uhh, I mean, Odie, go look for... Oh! Go look for someone!

Odie (as Garfield): BARF! (Odie in Garfield's body leaps while drooling. Jon and his pet split up. Meanwhile, Gwendolyn is waiting for Garfield.)

Gwendolyn: Where's Garfield? It's not like him to be late. Unless someone has been passing out lasagna. (Gwendolyn turns to the left and spots Garfield.) Oh, here he comes! (Garfield prances over to her.) Well, it's about time! What do you have to say for yourself? (Garfield licks Gwendolyn twice while drooling. Gwendolyn pushes Garfield back and attempts to clean herself.) Hey, what's wrong with you?!

Odie (as Garfield): BARF! BARF!

(Gwendolyn is staring at Garfield with disgust. She turns to the audience, and back to Garfield.)

Gwendolyn: I thought you said you were gonna bring me a gift.

Odie (as Garfield): Naah... (Garfield groans, then he yaps to the audience while drooling and runs to the left. Gwendolyn looks at the audience, the Garfield returns with a bone in his jaws. Gwendolyn doesn't look pleased.)

Gwendolyn: No thanks. (Garfield is biting his back and Gwendolyn is staring at him with disgust.) Ugh, I meet all the "classy" guys... (A closeup is focused on Gwendolyn. Meanwhile, Brick is chasing Garfield in Odie's body.)

Brick: I'll get you, dawg! (Garfield in Odie's body emerges from a garbage can, once Brick runs away.)

Odie (as Garfield): Why does he keep calling me "a dog"? That guy's been hitting the catnip too hard. (Garfield in Odie's body passes a broken mirror.) He's - Oh, hi Odie. - bananas if he thinks I'm... (Garfield in Odie's body gasps and returns in shock to the mirror.) I've had nightmares about this! (Brick is poking Garfield in Odie's body from behind.) Listen, I may look like a dog, but I'm a cat and somehow I wound up in a dog's body and I wouldn't believe it either, so I'll just run. (Garfield in Odie's body flees before Brick.) Hey, why am I running? I'm a dog! (Garfield in Odie's body stops, makes a bellicose facial expression and barks at Brick. Brick gets frightened and flees away.)

Brick: Hey, don't do that! Get back! Down! Help!

Odie (as Garfield): No wonder dogs chase cats. This is fun! BARK! BARK! BARK! (Garfield in Odie's body keeps chasing Brick and barking at him. Meanwhile, Odie in Garfield's body is running around Gwendolyn in circles. A hunting tune can be heard in the background)

Gwendolyn: Garfield! You're acting like an airhead dog! (Gwendolyn stops Odie in Garfield's body.) I never want to see you again. (Gwendolyn walks away to the right, upset.)

Garfield (as Odie): Huh? ( Odie in Garfield's body is staring cluelessly in the place Gwendolyn walked away. Brick runs past, chased by Garfield in Odie's body.)

Odie (as Garfield): There I am! (Garfield in Odie's body stops near Odie in Garfield's body.) I mean- There's me, but it's not me. I mean... (Garfield in Odie's body is addressing the audience.) Even I can't figure this one out!

Jon: Garfield, Odie! Whichever of you is which, come with me! We have to get back to that museum and straighten you two out! (Jon takes his pets to Madame LaFong's Museum. The scenery changes back to Madame LaFong's dungeon.)

Madame LaFong: That piece of junk actually has the power to swap minds? I paid eleven bucks for that.

Jon: Well, it worked. (Jon is addressing his pets.) Guys, quick: Touch the idol! (Garfield and Odie jump at the idol. Magical energy embraces them and they make the idol fall down and shatter to pieces.)

Madame LaFong: The Idol of Id!

Jon: I just hope it worked first! (Jon and Madame LaFong approach Garfield and Odie, both are surrounded by shattered remains of the statue.) Garfield? Odie? (Jon is trying to establish contact with Odie.) Come out! Come out! Whichever you are! (Odie rises, shakes his head and barks.)

Odie: BARF! (Odie approaches Jon and licks his cheek. His theme is played in the background. At the same time, Garfield rises from a boulder, shaking his head.)

Garfield: Hey, I'm me again! (Garfield checks his belly and walks to the right.)

Madame LaFong: Help me pick up the pieces of my priceless Idol of Id! (Jon and Madame LaFong gather the stones after the statue.)

Jon: It may be for the best. This thing could be too dangerous for the world.

(Garfield, Odie, and Jon leave the Mystic Museum.)

Garfield: If I ever need another brain, Odie, I'm gonna ask for yours.

Odie: Huh?

Garfield: Yeah, I'd want one that's never been used. (Garfield is laughing and Odie seems displeased.)

Jon: Come on, guys! Let's go home. (Madame LaFong is speaking with Jon's voice.) I'm just glad this is over.

Madame LaFong (as Jon): Silly people! I hope this is the last I ever see of them.

(Madame LaFong closes the door to her museum. The episode ends.)