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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode opens above Jon's house. Inside the office, Jon is working on his computer and eating a slice of pizza when his cell phone buzzes) Jon: Hello? (an incoherent voice speaks on the other end) Moan. No, I don't want to buy a 27-year membership in your gymnasium! (He hangs up, only for his phone to buzz again. Jon answers) Hello? (Another garbled voice speaks) No, this is not Feinblatt's Deli. (He hangs up and takes another bite of pizza, slowly getting more irritated with the random callers. His phone buzzes yet again. He angrily answers) Hello!? (The same indecipherable voice speaks) No, I don't want a subscription to Pigeon Breeders Monthly. I already have one. Groan (Garfield and Odie walk in)
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: I wouldn't go in there if I were you. (He turns to the pup, who retracts his tongue. Jon’s phone rings one more time)
Jon: (furiously) Yes, I know I'm out of shape, (The camera switches to the pets. Odie crouches and hides his eyes behind his ears) and I still don't want a 27-year membership in your gymnasium.
Garfield: (to Odie) Jon's coming up with an idea for a new comic book for Mr. Barker. (After Garfield says this, Jon’s phone buzzes obnoxiously again one more last time. The pets duck)
Jon: Aaah! The phone again! (He picks up, and the indeterminate voice speaks))
Garfield: Ugh, (Odie slowly peeks out from behind his paws and ears) It's not going well.
Jon: (angrily) I don't care who you are, or what you want. Whatever it is, I'm not going to buy it! Stop calling me, you idiot! Stop–(He realizes who’s on the other end and his tone does a complete 180) Ahh... Oooh! Hello, Mr. Barker.
(Inside his office, Mr. Barker sits in his chair talking to Jon on his phone. His secretary next to him. Between them is a giant poster of Jim Davis)
Mr. Barker: Ahem! I called to see how that new idea’s coming, Arbuckle.
Jon: (stammering) It's... It's... I'm sorry, Mr. Barker. The phone keeps interrupting me, I can't think.
Garfield: (to Odie) Jon can't think. (He points at his owner) There's late-breaking news.
Mr. Barker: Oh, I understand. Why don't you do what I do, Arbuckle? Get away. Go where there's no phone.
Jon: I'd love to, but, (Unbeknownst to Jon, Garfield sticks his paw in the pizza box, searching for a slice) well, I can't afford a trip just now. (He feels a pizza slice and grabs it)
Mr. Barker: Hey, I just acquired an old house up in the mountains. (He stands up and walks toward a shelf of trophies) My business manager bought it cheap as an investment. I haven't been to see it, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't have a phone.
Jon: I can work there and I won't be interrupted all the time? (He snaps his fingers) Great!
Mr. Barker: (to secretary) Make arrangements for Arbuckle to stay in that house I just bought. (His secretary reads from a clipboard)
Mr. Barker's Secretary: But isn't that house supposed to be...Gulp! haunted? (She trembles)
Jon: This is great. (He hangs up, not knowing about the "Haunted" aspect) I have to go pack. (He runs out of the office and down the hall, but then he remembers his lunch) Oops! Forgot to eat my pizza! (He returns to the box, only to find it empty, save for a crust that Garfield just tossed in)
Garfield: (while wiping his paws with a napkin) Hey you can forget to eat your pizza, but I won’t (Jon looks at his cat) forget to eat your pizza.
Jon: Moan.
(Later, Jon and his pets head down the road, towing something behind them in their car)
Jon: The phone won’t bother me. NOTHING will bother me, and we won’t leave until I get a terrific idea I can present to Mr. Barker.
Odie: Mutters (He looks at and holds his growling tummy)
Garfield: No, (he wags a finger at his pooch pal) I'm not worried about running out of food. You know that catering truck that’s always down the street (He points vaguely) at the construction site?
Odie: Uh-huh. (He nods yes. It is here that the trailer behind them is revealed to be a catering truck for Joe’s Catering)
Garfield: While Jon was packing, I added on a little. Well, take a look. (Odie presumably does, as the car drives over the hills and out of sight. The pup is surprised by what he sees)
Odie: (shocked) Howl!
(It is not long before they arrive at the house. Crows fly above them)
Crows: Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw! (Jon walks up to the house carrying a large navy-blue suitcase. His pets walk up behind him on his right)
Jon: Hmm. Mr. Barker’s secretary said the key was under the doormat. (He heads up the stairs)
Odie: Pants (Garfield notices the panting pup and decides to either warn him or burst his bubble. Maybe both)
Garfield: Hey, don’t act so happy, (He shakes his head slightly) Odie. I happen to know that this is… (He looks up at the crows)
Crows: Caw! Caw! Caw!
Garfield: (continuing and putting his paws on his face) a haunted house! (Odie flinches at this news. He turns to Garfield with a suspicious look)
Odie: How do you know? Really? (Garfield puts his hands on his hips and glares at Odie, the latter looking nervous for doubting his friend)
Garfield: Just take a look at the title of this episode. (He snaps his fingers and breaks the fourth wall, raising his voice in the process) Could I have a copy of the script we’re doing now, please?
Odie: Hmm? (Someone off-screen puts a script in Garfield’s left paw. Garfield then reads it)
Garfield: (reading) “The Garfield Show (Odie steps toward him, trying to get a glimpse of the script) Episode 202, The Haunted House”. (Odie steps away from his friend)
Odie: Mutters (He crouches and quakes nervously) Whimpers Gasp! (He looks up at the house. The sky–which was a cloudless blue a few seconds ago–has become dark and filled with rain clouds. Lightning strikes around them, terrifying Odie and causing him to hide behind a nearby crate. He pokes his head out from behind, revealing he has covered his eyes with his ears, trembling as he does. Garfield looks back at him)
Garfield: C’mon, we’d better get inside (Odie raises his right ear and looks at Garfield) and rest up. (Odie lifts his other ear with his paw as Garfield reexamines the script) Looks like a big chase scene on page nine. Thanks. (He hands the script back to the unknown person who gave it to him, and it disappears from view)
Odie: Huh? (Garfield, unfazed by the thunder and lightning, heads up the stairs to make himself at home. Odie is a lot more hesitant than his friend) Mutters (Another lightning strike terrifies him, and he zips up the stairs) YAH! Whimpers
(The pets enter the house, leaving the door open as they do, and walk through the main corridor. A boom of thunder and flash of lightning scares them both)
Garfield: Wha-? (They step closer together, Odie doing the Odie thing and hiding behind his ears. Garfield extends his arm out in front of Odie, one of the rare instances he seems to be protecting the pup. They look at each other, and–with already frazzled nerves–freak each other out)
Garfield and Odie: YAAHHH! (They run in opposite directions)
(Elsewhere in the house, Jon is working on his laptop)
Jon: (while typing) Oh this is GREAT! There’s no phone to ring and interrupt me. I can work without being disturbed! I don’t have an idea yet, but one I get one, watch out!
(In the next room, Garfield sits next to Odie, who is scared stiff)
Odie: Whimpers (He rests his head on his paws)
Garfield: Aw, don’t worry, pup. (He rubs behind Odie’s ears) Ghosts can’t hurt you.
Odie: Whew! (Garfield raises his arms to make himself look bigger and scarier)
Garfield: They can only make you hurt yourself. (He curls up and sleeps)
Odie: Whimpers (He joins his buddy in slumberland, but only for a second. He hears an eerie wail that echoes through the house, awaking him) Huh? (Even Jon hears the strange sound)
Jon: Huh? (He looks around) Garfield, is that your stomach rumbling again? Whimpers (He clacks on his keyboard again) Just in case, let’s see what the internet has about ghosts.
(Meanwhile, Odie hears a strange growling noise. He raises his head and looks around the room)
Odie: Mutters (All he sees is covered furniture) Worried mutters (He lowers his head and trembles in fear before nodding off again)
Garfield: Snore. Snore. (As the pets doze, a Ghost Cat appears from out of the corner and floats down to between Garfield and Odie. The ghost wiggles his fingers as it hovers above them, but only Odie notices his presence, as Garfield sleeps like a rock through this)
Odie: Huh? (He lifts his head and looks around, but the ghost sneaks behind him. The pup quickly turns around, but the ghost flies out of sight before Odie can spot him. The pooch starts sniffing the ground behind where he and Garfield slept) Sniffs (The Ghost Cat watches, peeking his head out from the floor and then sticking his tail out, following him) Huh? (Odie continues searching, until the ghost makes himself known by appearing in front of him. The horrified hound flees as the Ghost Cat laughs in amusement) Yow-ow-owl! (He ducks behind Garfield and under Garfield’s tail, disturbing his sleep in the process) Whimpers
Garfield: Huh? Hey! Hey, what’s the big idea? (He lifts Odie’s ear) Stop! (He pulls his tail from out in front of Odie’s eyes. The pup uses his ears to hide himself again) What, hey, Odie, (He abruptly becomes furious with the poor puppy and points at him) Odie, you minus-minded mutt! (Odie trembles and points behind Garfield, at Ghost Cat, who quickly makes himself hidden) Gasp! (Garfield turns around, but sees nothing besides a mop and bucket. He turns back to Odie and chastises him harshly) Waking me up like that, (Odie stands up and stares with wide eyes and a terrified look, practically paralyzed with fear) there’s nothing there! (Garfield points up) You woke me up…(The Ghost Cat taps Garfield on the back. The latter turns around and glances at the ghost) just a second. I’m scolding the pooch here for waking me up when I was dreaming about manicotti. (He turns back to Odie to resume his reprimanding) As I was saying, (Odie watches as the ghost floats around behind Garfield, wiggling his fingers waiting for the Flabby Tabby to notice) you woke me up with no…stammers. (He is rendered speechless as the realization sets in that a ghost is behind him. He turns around and gets a better look at the ghost) Odie, you remember I said we had a big chase scene on page nine?
Odie: (horrified) Uh-huh. (He nods yes)
Garfield: This is page nine. (He holds up five fingers, which I guess makes sense since he doesn’t have nine fingers to begin with. He turns around and the pets scream)
Garfield and Odie: YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! (They take off. The ghost follows. They run down a hallway–screaming and whimpering as they do–hang a left, race down the stairs, and around the main entryway. Soon, the ghost heads in a different direction)
(As Garfield runs–with Odie whimpering behind him–the camera pans to his feet as he steps on a can and runs on that)
Garfield: YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (Odie passes his feline friend and watches him instead of where he is going. The pup runs into a ladder and knocks it over, getting himself caught between rungs) Whimpers (Garfield trips over the ladder, flies through the air and lands near the bottom of the ladder, also getting caught between rungs) AAAAHHHHH! Ah! No! (Garfield turns his head to look forward. He sees Odie charging without signs of stopping) Stop! Ow! (Odie then slams into a wall. The ladder gets flung upward and Garfield is catapulted into the ceiling, hitting his head and then landing on his rear. The Ghost Cat reappears, and after a quick recovery, the pets once flee upstairs, with the ghost on their tail) YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
(Meanwhile, Jon is still having trouble coming up with ideas for a comic)
Jon: Oh, I still don’t have an idea for a new comic book! But at least the phone isn’t ringing and there's nothing to disturb me! (At that moment, his pets grab his head)
Garfield and Odie: Yowl!
Jon: (muffled) Except for my nutty cat and dog! (He grabs his pets…) Grunt
Garfield: Huh? (and drops them on the floor. Garfield clings to Odie, both of them tremble in fear)
Jon: What are you two doing? (The camera returns its focus to Jon) You are acting like you saw a ghost! (Unbeknownst to Jon, the Ghost Cat floats behind him, looking rather relaxed. The pets see this and stare)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: Oh!
Jon: There’s no such thing as ghosts. (The Ghost Cat wiggles his fingers again and snickers, looking spooky)
Garfield: But he’s right here! (He points at the ghost) Open those overly-large eyes of yours and take a look!
Ghost Cat: He can’t see me.
Jon: I know there’s no such thing as ghosts (The Ghost Cat nods) because I looked it up on the internet, and NOTHING (The Ghost Cat leans forward, looking like he is lounging on his stomach on the table Jon is working on) you read on the internet is EVER wrong! (Garfield blinks twice. A cuckoo sound plays as he tries to comprehend this) Now leave me alone so I can work. (The ghost poses and dances like ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics) I still need an idea!
Garfield: Oh my… (He blinks twice)
(Later, Garfield walk up to and talks to Odie, who is curled up into a ball after the chase)
Odie: Whimpers
Garfield: You saw the ghost. (Odie gets up and looks at the fat cat)
Odie: Uh-huh. (He confirms Garfield’s statement with a nod)
Garfield: I saw the ghost.
Odie: (with more fear in his voice) Uh-huh. (He nods faster)
Garfield: (facing the camera and pointing with his thumb behind him) Why didn’t HE see the ghost?
Ghost Cat: Because (The pets stare as Ghost Cat walks out of a wall) he couldn’t. (Odie stands next to Garfield, lifting his paw as if not to step in something) Human beings can’t see ghost cats. We’re only visible to other cats (He holds a finger up as the camera switches to the cat and dog duo) and pets of EXTREMELY low intelligence. (He leans toward Odie with that remark, which the pup doesn’t take too kindly to)
Odie: (angrily) Hmph! (The ghost flinches, caught off-guard by Odie)
Ghost Cat: I have to haunt this house for all eternity, (He starts floating) or until I get a human to believe in those Ghost Cats. (He leaves. Garfield and Odie follow)
Garfield: Well isn’t haunting a house a good job?
Ghost Cat: (furiously) No! It’s boring! Especially when you go 50, 60 years with nobody inhabiting the house. (He walks and floats to the banister above the main entrance room) I wanna be with my friends, the other Ghost Cats. (He turns around and rests his head on his paw) They’ve gone on to another more interesting place.
Garfield and Odie: Huh? (They look at each other. Ghost Cat continues)
Ghost Cat: (holding his finger up) I’m gonna get outta here. (He points at Garfield) I’m gonna scare that friend of yours until he believes in Ghost Cats! (Garfield smiles at the thought)
Garfield: And I'll help ya! (He points at the ghost) C’mon!
Odie: Bark! (The three of them take off)
(Meanwhile, Jon is still at his computer thinking of an idea)
Jon: Hmm, maybe a superhero who throws coleslaw at people! (He shakes his head) Nah, it’s been done. (Behind him, Garfield stands behind the door and the Ghost Cat’s head pokes from through a wall next to Garfield)
Garfield: OK, I’ve got an idea. (He steps toward the ghost) Now here’s what you do: (He whispers incoherently in the ghost’s ear. The ghost nods, liking the plan)
Ghost Cat: Yeah, that’ll make him believe in Ghost Cats!
Garfield: Chuckles (The ghost grabs a circular laundry basket and slams it on Jon’s head before zipping away)
Jon: That’s cute, Garfield, but it’s not gonna make me believe in ghosts. (Ghost Cat then grabs a flashlight and bangs Jon on the head with it) That’s not funny, Garfield! Ugh! (Jon takes the basket off and tosses it away. Garfield, seeing his angry owner, evacuates the scene as Jon chases him out of the room) AHHH! Scowl! (Garfield hides around a couple of crates)
Garfield: Snickers (Odie runs up to him and Ghost Cat pokes his head out of a wall)
Ghost Cat: He’s never gonna believe.
Garfield: We’re not giving up! (He clenches his fists, determined to succeed) You need to be with your friends, (He turns toward the audience) and I need to be where there’s Chinese food!
(Jon resumes his work. He types on the keyboard as Ghost Cat provides a Five Nights at Freddy’s type jumpscare for the viewers)
Ghost Cat: Screams (He wails and screams next to Jon, but is unsuccessful in his goal)
Jon: You can stop making those silly noises, Garfield. There are no ghosts! (Ghost Cat turns to look at the camera with wide eyes. He sadly walks back into the room with Garfield and Odie. The former holds a coat for the ghost to use as their next plan)
Garfield: Ah. (Ghost Cat takes it, along with a pair of pants and shoes, and floats them behind Jon)
Ghost Cat: (eerily) Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh! (Jon only glances behind him, but doesn’t turn around from his computer)
Jon: Please don’t get my new shirt wrinkled, Garfield. And there are still no ghosts. (Ghost Cat leaves and then returns bouncing Odie up and down like a paddleball)
Odie: Whimpers
Jon: Very cute, Garfield, but there are still no ghosts! It says so on the internet, remember? (Ghost Cat leaves, with Odie)
(In the other room, the pets and ghost reconvene)
Ghost Cat: It’s no use. He’ll never believe in ghost cats. (He hangs his head sorrowfully)
Garfield: Oh yes he will! (He holds his finger up. Ghost Cat looks up at him) I’m gonna have a brilliant idea!
Ghost Cat: You are?
Garfield: Yes! Let me just check the script and see what it’s gonna be. (He shouts to someone working off-screen) Uh, could I borrow a copy of the script for this episode again, please? (A script is held in front of him. He takes it and reads it) “Scene 19, scene 20…” (Odie steps over to him. Ghost Cat stands up to see the script better, but Garfield quickly closes it) Hey hey! That’s a good idea I'm gonna have. (to Ghost Cat) Follow me. (to the guy who gave him the script) Thanks! (He hands it back and takes off, leaving his friends a little confused)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: Jon’s not gonna believe in ghost cats (He turns right. Ghost Cat screeches though the wall) until he sees a ghost cat.
Odie: Hmm? (He looks in both directions: the way Garfield went and the way Ghost Cat went)
(The ghost turns corrects his mistake and resumes following Garfield)
Ghost Cat: But he cannot see me. (Odie sprints after them)
Garfield: (while holding a paint can and brush) No, (Ghost Cat brakes on his heels in front of Garfield. Odie is quick to join them) but he’ll see ME!
Odie: Bark!
Ghost Cat: Laughs
(Later, Jon paces in circles next to his laptop, seemingly admitting that he cannot think of anything)
Jon: Oh it’s no use! (As he paces, Garfield–now coated in white paint–dangles from the ceiling. He is held up there by a fishing line tied around his waist) I’ll just have to tell Mr. Barker I DON'T have an idea for a new comic book! (Garfield hisses and sways back and forth)
Garfield: Rowl!
Jon: Aaah! (He has finally noticed his floating feline. He turns around to get a better look)
Garfield: Uuuuuuugh! Oooh! (He sticks his tongue out) bl-bl-bl-bl-bl! Aaah! Oooh!
Jon: Aahhhhhhh!
(On the other side of the room, Ghost Cat and Odie stand in the doorway. The former holds the fishing line keeping Garfield up while the latter watches the scene unfold)
Odie: Mutter
Garfield: Oooh! (He turns around to his friends) Chuckle
Odie: Huh.
Jon: AAAAHHH! (Garfield yells and makes more creepy, funny noises, freaking Jon out all the more) It’s…it’s a ghost cat! (His voice echoes throughout the house. As it does, a light shines on the house from the dark sky and all the windows glow from a light that seems to be coming from inside. Instantly, Ghost Cat flies away)
Ghost Cat: A human being believes in ghost cats. (He flies toward the giant circular window in the top middle of the house) I’m free! (He celebrates as he escapes the house)
(Back inside, Odie bids his friend farewell)
Odie: Bark! Bark! (He suddenly realizes that he’s slipping) Oh… (He runs backwards, trying to hold on to the fishing pole with all his strength, but he loses his grip and lets go) Howl!
Garfield: Gasp! (He looks down and instantly drops to the floor) Nyow!
Jon: (while shielding his face) AAAAHHHHHH! (He opens his eyes and looks at his cat) Huh? (Garfield, now on the floor, shakes his head in an attempt to recover)
Garfield: Doh! (He looks up at Jon, and he looks back) BOOOOO! (He shakes his head, while making a spooky face at Jon, sticks out his tongue, raises his hands and lifts his toes) BOOOO!
Jon: AAHHH! AAAAAHHHHHHHH! (He flees in terror. Garfield runs after him)
Garfield: Rowl! (And Odie watches and then goes after them)
Odie: Huh? Bark! Bark!
(As the morning breaks, Mr. Barker gets out of his car and–while talking on the phone with someone–walks toward his house)
Mr. Barker: So I'm up here in the mountains getting a look at this house I bought. One of my cartoonists is staying here and I… (He is cut off by a screaming cartoonist)
Jon: AAAAHHHHH! (He runs down the stairs and into Mr. Barker’s arms)
Mr. Barker: Arbuckle! What’s the meaning of…?
Jon: A ghost cat! (He points up and wiggles his fingers) A spooky, terrifying ghost cat going, “Boo! Boo! Boo!” (He realizes how ridiculous this sounds and grins sheepishly at his boss) Hey hey! (He jumps out of his arms and tries to explain) I’m sorry, Mr. Barker, and I haven't been able to come up with… (Mr. Barker cuts him off. He likes the sound of what Jon said)
Mr. Barker: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. A ghost cat? That’s a terrific idea (He points at Jon) for a new comic book!
Jon: It is?
Mr. Barker: Kids like ghosts, kids like cats! (He points into his palm) Arbuckle, you’re brilliant! (He puts his hand on Jon’s back and leads him away)
(Meanwhile, Garfield sits in a bubbly basin to get the white paint off. Odie scrubs his back and hums while Garfield reads over the script)
Garfield: So according to the script, Jon sold his boss a new idea, and our friend the Ghost Cat is free from haunting this place. Sigh. A happy ending.
Odie: Right!
Garfield: But, not happy enough! (A horn blares in the distance. Garfield grins)
Odie: Huh? (The camera points at Vito’s truck as it rolls up to the house)
Garfield: Wide shot: Vito’s pizza truck pulls up in front with LOOOOOADS of steaming-hot pizzas for the clever cat! (The camera returns to the pets) Hey every script could use a few improvements here and there. (Is Mark Evanier taking jabs at himself? Or is he just destroying what’s left of that 4th wall?)
Odie: Uh-huh! (He nods in agreement)
Garfield: Uh, keep scrubbing, Odie.
Odie: Oh… (He obeys. Vito walks up to them with an armload of pizzas in his hands. He reveals himself from behind them)
Garfield: Laughs (He winks and grins at the audience. The episode comes to a close)
THE END