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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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[The episode starts with the television studio located in 747 Waffle Street broadcasts its first annual Golden Lasagna Awards]
Announcer: Live! Well, animated from the studios of The Garfield Show. It's the first annual Golden Lasagna Awards. And here's your host, Garfield Cat.
[The live audience includes most of the characters from the Garfield Show are cheering and clapping]
Garfield: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. [clears throat] A little more, please? [applause from the audience] Thank you. Thank you. Tonight, because excellence must be recognized, we're saluting superior work on the best show on television. This one. Each winner will receive one of these handsome trophies.
[The episode pans to the lasagna shaped golden trophies]
Nermal: It's hard to believe.
Arlene: What's hard to believe, Nermal?
Nermal: That I don't have one of those. But I will.
Garfield: Without further ado, our first award is… “Best Performance by a Character in a Scene Involving Food.” And the nominees are… Eddie Gourmand in the episode, “Yankee Poodle Dandy.”
[The projector screen plays the episode “Yankee Poodle Dandy.”]
Eddie Gourmand: I'll just try one of these, whatever they are.
Sheila: Sir, I don't think you want to…
Eddie Gourmand: Mmm. And this is exquisite. [eats the food from the plate against Sheila’s request to not eat the food] Madam, what do you call this tasty treat?
Sheila: Dog food.
Eddie Gourmand: “Dog food?”
Sheila: [shows the dog food can] Dog food.
[Eddie Gourmand faints backwards upon seeing the dog food can that he had ate from the plate]
Eddie Gourmand: [returns back up] I ate dog food. But you know with a little parsley, it wouldn't be too bad.
[In the seating area, Eddie Gourmand is proud of the nomination]
Garfield: Our next nominee in this category is… Vito Capilleti for his role in “Mozzarella Madness.”
[The projector screen plays the episode “Mozzarella Madness.”]
Vito: [crying] Please, you must forgive me. You must. I was foolish, I admit it. If you could somehow find it in your heart to spare me… I would be grateful for all eternity.
Garfield: Well, just this once. But next time, don't forget the black olives.
[In the seating area, Vito is proud of the nomination and at the same time he sobs]
Garfield: And our final nominee in this category is… it seems to be me, Garfield Cat in "Camping Out."
[The projector screen plays the episode “Camping Out.”]
Jon: We're going to be out here in the middle of nowhere for two weeks, Garfield. We're miles from any take-out restaurants, miles from any markets. We'll be making do with just the supplies we brought. Do you understand?
Garfield: [nods his head yes] Uh-huh.
Jon: And you're okay with that? [Garfield nods his head yes again] Well. I apologize, Garfield. I misjudged you. [Garfield nods his head yes for the second time] Okay, I'm going to unpack the car.
[While Jon and Odie are going to the car, Garfield goes and knocks on the tree with the oval cutout. The cutout opens to reveal Vito who delivers a dish of sausage lasagna to Garfield]
Vito: Here you go, little pussycat. One hot, steaming dish of sausage lasagna, just as you requested.
Garfield: [eats the sausage lasagna] Mmm. He had to do that to make up for forgetting the black olives.
[The audience applause and Garfield is about to reveal the winner for the category of “Best Performance by a Character in a Scene Involving Food.”]
Garfield: And the winner is…
Nermal: [feeling restless] Come on. Come on.
Garfield: Well, how about that? It's me!
Nermal: Rats.
Arlene: Nermal, why are you disappointed? You weren't nominated in this category.
Nermal: I was hoping for a massive write-in vote.
[Garfield takes the golden trophies handed by a female staff]
Garfield: Oh, thank you all for this award. I'm not sure which of you voted for me.
Voices from the audience: I didn't vote for him. I didn't vote for him.
Nermal: Well, I sure didn't.
Garfield: But it doesn't matter to me. What matters is that I got the award and somebody else didn't. The next category, “Best Performance by an Actor in a Role Involving Sleep.” And the nominees are… Jon Arbuckle in "What Time Is It?"
[The projector screen plays the episode “What Time Is It.” In the playing episode, Garfield jumps up and down on Jon who is asleep in bed to wake him up]
Jon: No, Garfield. I will not get up and make you raspberry waffles for breakfast.
Garfield: I'll settle for French toast.
Jon: I just got to bed an hour ago. I'm going to sleep until that alarm clock goes off in seven hours… [yawns] at noon. Good night, Garfield.
[Jon falls asleep and Garfield adjust the alarm clock so Jon wakes up instantly]
Garfield: Three, two, one…
[The alarm clock rings waking up Jon from his sleep]
Jon: Ah! A good eight hours of sleep. I feel like a new man. I'm going to go make you raspberry waffles and French toast, Garfield.
Garfield: Last July, I convinced him it was Christmas.
[In the seating area, Jon is proud of the nomination with Liz and Odie comforting him]
Garfield: And the next nominee in this category is Odie the Puppy. [Odie tries to comprehend the nomination] Please, hold your applause. Odie the Puppy for "Fetching Fido."
[The projector screen plays the episode “Fetching Fido.”]
Garfield: Odie, I'm gonna throw the stick so you can fetch it. [throws the stick for Odie] There it goes, boy! Go get it!
[Odie walks a long way to find the stick but ends up stopping in the forest feeling tired, while Garfield is relaxing in the garden]
Garfield: And the last nominee in this category is… What do you know? It's me again. [the audience boos] It's for my stellar performance in “The Snooze Reporter.”
[The projector screen plays the episode “The Snooze Reporter.”]
Squeak: Wait! I think he's finally waking up. Garfield, congratulations. You've been asleep for over eleven weeks. What do you have to say?
Garfield: Uh, just five more minutes.
[Garfield falls backs asleep]
Garfield: And the winner is… [gasps] It's me again!
[The audience are shocked at Garfield being the winner of the category includes Nermal making a fuss]
Nermal: Fixed. This contest is fixed!
Arlene: Nermal, behave yourself!
Nermal: I'm sorry, but this is how I behave.
Garfield: Our next category is “Best Performance by a Mouse.”
Lucky: Oh, that's great.
Irv: Garfield can't win in this category.
Squeak: Uh, wanna bet?
Garfield: And our first nominee is… Irv the Mouse in “The Dangerous Mission.”
[The projector screen plays the episode “The Dangerous Mission.”]
Squeak: This is a dangerous mission, Irv. [Irv nods his head yes] You don't have to do it.
Irv: Somebody's got to. It might as well be me.
[Irv puts on the gas mask]
Squeak: Well, I wish you all the luck in the world with it.
Irv: Thanks, Squeak. [climbs to the top of the fridge and sees a foul smell coming from the limburger] We were right, Squeak. It's limburger! Oh!
[Irv faints from the limburger’s foul smell upon inhalation]
Garfield: The next nominee is Squeak as the newsmouse in “The Snooze Reporter.”
Squeak: He's finally…
Garfield: [buzzer sound] Okay, we just saw this one. We don't need to show it again. And our final nominee for the "Best Performance by a Mouse" is… [gasps] You're not gonna believe this. It seems to be me for my performance in "Rat Cat."
[The projector screen plays the episode “Rat Cat.” Arlene is giving pieces of cheese to the mice until she was interrupted by Garfield dressed as a giant mouse]
Arlene: Here's a piece of cheese for you and one for you and one for you and…
Garfield: [dressed as a giant mouse] Hi. I'm a mouse. What do you have for me?
Garfield: And the winner is… Oh no, not again!
[Garfield takes the golden trophy for winning the category]
Nermal: [feeling mad] I can't take any more of this! It's a travesty of justice! [leaves the seating area] Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. Cute cat coming through.
Garfield: And the next category is… “Best Performance by an Overweight Orange Pussycat With Stripes Whose Name is in the Title of the Show.” Gee, I can't imagine who's gonna win.
Producer: We don't have time for clips.
Garfield: What's that again?
Producer: We don't have time for clips.
Garfield: Oh! I'm informed that we don't have time for the clips, so we'll just do this the fast way. The nominees are me, me, and me. And the winner is… [gasps] Hey! It's me! [the audience boos] Thank you. I couldn't have done it without you.
[Most of the characters leaves the seating area in the studio. Outside the television studio building, Nermal is speaking on the telephone to Bruno]
Nermal: [on the telephone] So, Bruno, you and your friends weren't invited to the ceremony?
Bruno: [on the telephone] Yeah, we weren't nominated for anything, and we're angry about it. Hey, who is this?
Nermal: [on the telephone] Oh, it's… [clears throat] just a friend. I happen to know this award ceremony is rigged. One cat wins every award. You should come down here and take care of him.
Bruno: [on the telephone] Yeah. Good idea. We'll be right there. [hangs up on the telephone] Come on, guys. We're gonna go down to that award ceremony.
[Bruno and the other dogs head to the television studio and the gang are captured on the building’s security cameras]
Bruno: When we get there, we'll take care of that cat who keeps winning all the awards!
Garfield: You see? You can learn valuable information watching The Garfield Show. [the producer appears and taps on his shoulder] The commercial's over? Great. I'll go present the last award. Thank you! Thank you! And now, the award you've all been waiting for… the award for “The Most Fabulously Terrific Super Performer Ever!” And the nominees are… Odie the Puppy.
[Odie cheers upon being nominated and Nermal appears in the seating area feel irritated]
Garfield: Thank you, Odie. And the next nominee is Nermal the Cat. That's about the response Nermal deserves. And the last nominee is… Guess who?
[Garfield points to the woman to play the audience applause sound effect upon being nominated for the category. In the seating area, Odie is applauding and Nermal is waiting impatiently for Bruno to arrive. Bruno enters in the studio kicking open the door brings along the other dogs, causing Garfield to become scared]
Garfield: Okay. And the winner is… Hmm… [sees the winner on the card is himself and lies about the winner out of fear] And the winner is… Nermal Cat.
Nermal: [feeling shocked] Did you say "Nermal Cat?" [becomes excited] You did say "Nermal Cat!" I'm Nermal Cat! [instantly push Garfield off the stage] Oh! Thank you, thank you for that wonderful ovation. I'm sure I'd be receiving if anyone was here. [the gang angrily walks towards the stage] I can't tell you how much this award means to me. I really need to thank all of the people who've supported me and helped me over the years. And I would if I knew any of their names. But I have to admit you like me. You really like me almost as much as I do. [notices the gang are angry with him] Hey, hey, hey! Can't you see I'm accepting an award here?
Bruno: You're the cat who rigged these awards so he always wins.
[The angry gang beats up Nermal off-camera with the everyone in the seating area becoming scared except for Garfield who is smirking at Nermal’s misfortune]
Nermal: Oh no! No, no, no, no. That's not me. That's… No, no, no, no! You stay back! Pick on someone your own size.
[Nermal leaves the building carrying his trophy, hoping that he has escaped the angry gang. However, the angry gang chases him in town]
Nermal: Hey! You leave me alone! I'm an award-winning pussycat, and I haven't finished my acceptance speech yet!
[Garfield takes a golden trophy for Odie to have]
Garfield: Here, Od. You can have this one. Hey. Awards are great, aren't they? They make your relatives really happy, and you can sell the trophies on the internet for pretty good money. [Odie mutters about the trophy] For that one? I'd say you'd be able to get enough for it to buy a real lasagna. It's a lot better than gold.
[Garfield leaves the studio and ends the episode with him shutting the door]
THE END