Garfield Wiki
Not to be confused with the Garfield and Friends Rap.

The Garfield Rap is Garfield's song featured in the Garfield and Friends episode of the same name. Music was provided by Ed Bogas and lyrics by Mark Evanier. It is one of the longest songs in Garfield and Friends.


One day I was asleep
I heard a puppy yapping
Can't stand dogs
Who interrupt my napping
So I went to have a chat with Odie
Told the puppy dog he ought to hit the road
He said, "No way"
Tried to contradict me
That was when the little puppy licked me
Oh, how I want to kick and clobber
When I get covered with doggy slobber
But I was polite as I was able
And I kicked the doggy off the table
Landed on the floor, right in a heap
Next time, he won't interrupt my sleep
The guy I lived with got real sore
I said, "Hey, what are puppies for?"
That's called being a cat
(Lie around, get fat)
That's what it takes to be a cat
That's called being a cat
(Lie around, get fat)
You'll be sitting pretty, kitty-cat
Just last night
I was having a snack
And this guy comes in
With a sackful of food
He said it was really great
Made for cats who are a little overweight
Well, he persisted with his plan
So I scoped the label out on the can
Beef by-products is how they try
To sell parts of the cow they can't identify
Well, he said it was good for my waist
And he forced me to take a little taste
I thought the stuff that he brought home
Tasted like ground up Styrofoam
He gave me a bowl,
But I couldn't complete it
I said "Hey, if it's so good,
Why don't you eat it?"
Late at night I go out on the fence
Down the street from my residence
I bring my horn and I play a little jam
Starting at 3:00, maybe 4:00 a.m.
People in the building
Right across the way
Get a special kind of treat
When I start their day
Is there any better one
To start off all their morns
Than the coolest cat
With the hottest of horns?
I play some jazz, and I play some blues
And they offer tips in the form of shoes
Come the morning,
They walk out on the street
Lots of folks in their little stocking feet
But I am pleased to make them all a deal
Pays for a heck of a breakfast meal
When I'm in the park,
People always want to pat
The furry head of a kitty cat
How many times have I heard it said
"Oh, he's cute" as they rub my head?
It was fun long ago
But the fun's been fading
I used to find the thing quite degrading
Until I came up with a solution
All I needed was
A little financial restitution
People pet me now and all is fine
Until I show them the price list on my sign
Pet the kitty on the head and neck
I accept credit cards, cash, or check
And next week our special rate begins
For folks who want to scratch me
Under my chin
When I'm around
Women make a beeline
When they catch sight of this classy feline
Saturday night I pick up my date
That's the time we must celebrate
Some guys are trouble, some guys are fun
I'm Michael Jackson all rolled into one
She has more fun than she's ever known
Still, she'll yearn for that moment alone
That's the moment that goes to the heart
Then I smell something and quickly depart
What's so important
I'll leave her with ease?
Homemade lasagna with plenty of cheese
This is the end of The Garfield Rap
Now pass me a pillow, it's time for my nap
Chorus (x2, excluding Garfield's lines)