(The farm's alarm goes off. Everyone is running away. Bo Sheep, Orson, Booker, Sheldon and Roy are all running. Everyone except Wade)
Wade: Uh, Roy what's all this frenzy?
Roy: THE WEASEL HAS STOLEN SOME CHICKENS!
Wade: A fine reason for panic.. if i do say so myself..
(Wade gets scared in a comical and cartoonish way)
Wade: The weasel, has stolen some chickens!?!
(The Weasel comes out of the bushes, holding a sack full of chickens)
The Weasel: Yeah, the weasel has stolen some chickens!
(Orson goes after the Weasel)
Orson: Come back with those chickens, weasel!
Weasel: Time to scram!
(Wade Duck looks at Orson going after the weasel while pointing his right index finger at the weasel).
Wade: (stuttering) We-we-w-we-we-we-we-we..
Weasel: The pig's gaining on me! I gotta find a way to get away!
(Roy, disguised as a crossing guard in a crossway, he's holding a red STOP sign. He then blows his whistle. The Weasel stops when he sees the "crossing guard".)
Weasel: Come on! Come on already!
(Roy shows the Weasel a detour sign.)
Weasel: Detour? Hey, i don't care which way i go, as long as i get outta here!
(The weasel runs off. As he runs off in the distance, Roy laughs at him. He then runs away, dropping the stop sign and his hat falls off his head. The weasel is running in a road unknown to him)
Weasel: Hey, i don't remember this road before!
(The weasel sees a sign that reads "Weezul Tunnel")
Weasel: Weezul tunnel? Well, okay..
(He then proceeds to go into the "tunnel" which is revealed to be a cannon disguised as a tunnel.)
Weasel: You think they'd install some lights in these things
(The cannon starts moving upwards)
Weasel: Hey! This is kind of a sudden steep hill in here!
(Roy, who is standing on top of a wooden staircase, opens the vault of the cannon. He then takes the sack of chickens away from the Weasel)
Weasel: Hey! Who took my chickens?
Roy: Weasel.. Someone of your caliber should go far!
(Roy blasts the weasel away with the cannon. The weasel is blasted away as he screams)
Weasel: HEEEEEEEELP!
(All the farm's chickens come out of the sack)
Roy: All safe, ladies!
Orson: Where is the weasel gonna land, Roy?
Roy: (he takes a map and reads it) According to this, i used enough power to send him all the way to channel 56.. he should land somewhere in a Gilligan's Island rerun!
Orson: Even the weasel doesn't deserve that!
(The Weasel lands in a junkyard)
Weasel: What an ordeal..
(The weasel walks in the junkyard, until he sees The Feline Philosopher, who was resting on a broken barrel, using the map as a blanket. The Feline Philosopher proceeds to throw the map into the ground, and he gets up.)
TFP: Having a bad day, bunky?
Weasel: Hey, what are you sellin'?
TFP: Inspiration, cousni! I am a motivational speaker! I can inspire anyone to success! He points his right index finger at the Weasel.
TFP: Hey there bunky!
(Beautiful Dreamer plays in the background)
TFP: you say you jump out of a plane at 30000 feet and the skydiving instructor is yelling, "where's my napsack?"
(The Weasel is seen skydiving. He's wearing a grey parachute backpack. He then makes all of the food in the backpack fly upwards in the sky)
TFP: And you got sealed in a biosphere for three months, with sixteen skunks and a fast-talking insurance man from Ohio?
(The Weasel is seen inside a biosphere, with a lot of skunks and an insurance man who's touching the Weasel's shoulder while talking unintellegibly in the background)
TFP: And no matter where you go..
(The Wease runs away from the chicken coop)
TFP: You keep seeing Elvis..
(Elvis Presley comes out of the chicken coop)
TFP: Is that what's got you feeling you're about to go pop, weasel?
(Beautiful Dreamer stops playing in the background. An happier, more lighthearted music starts playing in the background)
TFP: (Lifts the weasel's hand up) Well, lift your head up high and take a walk in the sun (he pretends to walk. He then proceeds to look at the sky and point his left index finger at the sky,) With that fortitude and determination that you show them what you're made of! (He points his left index finger at the weasel), And if they don't like it, tell em' you made us something else! Remember.. A bird in hand.. (he stomps his foot, twice) can be very.. unsanitary.
Weasel: You're right pal! (Does a handshake with the Feline Philosopher) I'm not gonna let anything stop me this time!
(Meanwhile, back at the farm, Orson and Roy are arguing)
Roy: The nerve of that weasel! Trying to steal half our chickens!
Orson: Fortunately, the weasel isn't very determined.
(The weasel comes out from the chicken coop, while holding a sack full of chickens he stole from the coop)
Orson: (scratches his head with his left index finger) I don't understand it this, he never- Oh nevermind that now! He's coming this way get in the position to stop him! (he points his left index finger at the weasel)
Weasel: (running with the sack full of chickens) This is great! I feel so inspired and motivated!
Roy: Here he comes!
Orson: He can't get by us!
(The weasel, runs past Orson and Roy. They both get hit like bowling pins.)
(Roy lands from above. And so does Orson, who lands on Roy)
Roy: Any more untrue statement of facts, piggo?
Orson: Come on, we gotta stop him!
(Meanwhile, Wade is talking to himself)
Wade: I'm so very glad that the (struggles to pronounce the weasel's name) we- we- we.. Double U person is gone, as i still tremble whenever i see that..
(The Weasel runs past Wade)
Weasel: One side, duck!
(The weasel running past Wade causes the duck to spin)
(Orson and Roy are chasing the Weasel)
Orson: The weasel's faster than ever!
(Orson is tired and stops running)
Orson: We'll never catch that weasel!
Roy: What got into him?
Orson: I wish i knew..
(The Feline Philosopher suddendly appears out of nowhere)
Orson: Who are you?
The Feline Philosopher: I am the Feline Philosopher. Could i interest you gentlemen in a motivational speech?
Orson: Oh huh.. nothing personal, but we don't have time for the uh huh..
Roy: Ooooooh, let's listen to him Orse. We could use a good kickstart.. Proceed!
TFP: Thank you cousins!
(The Feline Philosopher, then proceeds to get on top of the barrel he was resting on before)
TFP: Hey there, ham and eggs.
(Orson and Roy stare at him)
TFP: You say you planted the whole north 40 with bird seed and grew 97 acres of pigeons?
TFP: And you tried to make margarine in the butter churn (Roy is seen trying to make margarine in the butter churn, until he drops his head and feathers into the ground due to a backache) and got a polyunsaturated backache?
(Orson is seen milking a cow)
TFP: And the cow's been so nervous lately, she's been giving milkshakes?
(Orson is holding a milkshake he got from the cow in his right hand.)
(In the next scene, Roy is seen entering in a library)
TFP: And you just found out you have a library book, that's overdue.. Someone took it out when Eisenhower was president? (Roy gets carried away by two dog police officers)
(A female pig is seen walking around with a scarecrow)
TFP: And your girlfriend just eloped with the scarecrow, she says he dresses better than you do?
(Orson, who is dressed in a funny clown costume, proceeds to shed a tear and wave sadly at his girlfriend)
(The Farmyard Feline Philosopher is talking, with both of his hands behind his back)
TFP: Is that what's got you putting in for a transfer to a disney show, boobie?
(Happy, lighthearted music plays in the background)
TFP: (raises his right fist in the air) Well lift your head up high and take a wallow in the bud! So what if this cartoon isn't going your way?
At least it doesn't guest star the Buddy Bears again.
(Orson and Roy look at each other with a weirded out face)
TFP: Remember! He who laughs last! (lifts his head up high and raises his left index finger in the air)
(He stomps his foot, twice)
TFP: Does not get the joke..
Orson: I suddendly feel.. motivated! Roy? (Orson suddendly gets more muscular. and so does Roy)
Roy: Likewise, let's find that weasel!
(They both proceed to go after the weasel. The weasel is seen cooking in a cauldron above a campfire)
Weasel: This is great! I should have been motivating a long time ago! Nothing can stop me now!
(Orson and Roy suddendly appear. The Weasel starts slowly walking backwards)
Weasel: Excuse me, i gotta go listen to another speech!
(Orson and Roy jump towards the Weasel. But before they can hurt him, he manages to get away from both Orson and Roy.)
Orson: Well.. we won't see him for a while.
(The weasel is seen running off in the background)
Roy: That's what you said the last time!
(As Orson is talking, the chickens get ouf the sack)
Orson: Yeah but, he obviously ran into our friend with the podium and got a speech that got him all fired up!
Roy: And it could happen again!
Orson: (smiles at the camera) Not if my plan works.
(Orson and Roy introduce the Feline Philosopher to Wade)
Orson: Wade, this is the Feline Philosopher, and he's gonna deliver an inspirational speech just for you! (He slightly pushes TFP towards Wade)
Wade: haha, yes!
(Roy Rooster lifts the Feline Philosopher to carry him on top of a crate)
Roy: Proceed!
(Beautiful Dreamer plays in the background.. again.. Wade stares at The Feline Philosopher)
TFP: Hey there ducky, you say it's a hot summer night and you just inhaled.. a dragonfly?
Wade: Yeah, yeah! Uh huh! tha-That's exactly what, what happened to me!
TFP: Yeah, that sure.. And a very lonely porcupine is following you around, he keeps asking you for a.. hug?
Wade: ALL THE TIME! How do you know? (puts both of his hands in TFP's shoulders)
(Orson and Roy stare at each other smiling, happy that Orson's plan is working)
Wade: Say.. Did you ever have a nightmare that you were a centipede? And you had 700 children, and you had to buy tap shoes for all of them=
(Wade and The Feline Philosopher are seen walking together.)
TFP: I dreamed that last night..
(The two are seen walking away, in the distance)
Wade: And it's 4 a.m. and you've gotta take the Brahma bull for a walk?
TFP: Happens all the time!
(Meanwhile, Orson and Roy are seen chilling in an armchair. They are both reading books)
Orson: By the time Wade gets through with that philsopher, he'll be in no condition to motivate the weasel or anyone else!
Roy: We'll see. Here he comes! (he puts the book down, and so does Orson)
Orson: Hi! Giving any more motivational speeches?
TFP: NO! I gotta hide! I gotta run and hide and give up and surrender, i know whoa is i! (He runs away)
Orson: (looking at the TFP running away) Well, looks like our troubles are over!
Wade: Now you're just gonna lie around the mud hole all day, bunky? Well lift your head up high! (Wade lifts his right wist while talking with his eyes closed, he then points his right index finger at both Orson and Roy), and put your noses to the grindstone
(He points again at Orson and Roy, telling them to get up)
Wade: Work until you drop! And then get up and work some more!
(Orson and Roy are seen on top of a stair, painting the barn with red paint)
Roy: (looks at Orson) You and your big ideas!
Wade: Take a walk in the sun! And show the world how industrial, you are! Plow the fields! Shock the corn! And whatever else comes thinking in the mind!
(The episode ends).