Garfield: It all began one cold April night.
(Jon is in the kitchen cooking with a cook book in hand)
Jon: One cup of milk, two eggs, half a can of pickled olives, grated cheese, asparagus, some of this stuff, whatever it is.
Garfield: Now, most kitchen's are equipped with smoke alarms. This kitchen, however, had a different kind of alarm: one triggered by the aroma of the man was cooking.
(The alarm goes off)
Garfield: Oh no! Odie, wake up! It's the new recipe-alarm. Jon's cooking something new. Let's get out of here before it's too late!
(Garfield and Odie run to the front door, but Jon appears from outside with a kettle.)
Jon: Hi, guys. I'm making something new for dinner. (Garfield and Odie scream in horror, and run the other way.)
Garfield: Quickly, the handsome cat and the semi-cute dog fled for their lives, but it was too late.
(Garfield and Odie try to run to the kitchen to reach the back door, but Jon appears on the kitchen doorway. Garfield and Odie crash.)
Jon: I think you'll really like it. I'll set the table.
Garfield: What do you think, Odie? (Odie whimpers.) Yeah, you're right. Might as well get it over with. You first.
(Scene change: kitchen. Garfield and Odie sit at the table.)
Garfield: Trembling, the magnificient cat and the mediocre dog waited.
Garfield: (to Odie) I thought you buried his cook book!
Jon: Here you go, fellas. Eat up!
(Odie smells the food, but faints at the smell.)
Garfield: (breaking the fourth wall) Somebody call humane society, quick! Tell'em Jon Arbuckle has a new recipe. They'll understand.
Jon: I wonder how Garfield and Odie are enjoying my new recipe. (Jon sees Garfield and Odie wearing gas masks.) Come on, it can't be that bad! (Garfield takes a spoonful of the food and forcibly feeds it to Jon. He spits it out disgusted.) Okay, so it can be that bad.
Garfield: Arbuckle never liked to throw food away, or stuff like that either. So he took it over to the refrigerator and stuck it in back. Back behind the mayonnaise, next to the ketchup and to the left of the coleslaw. And there, he left it.
(Time passes)
Garfield: Now the problem of saving food that no one wanted to eat it is that no one ever wants to eat it. So Jon's, ahem, recipe stayed there for days, weeks, months. And is it sat there, it started to grow. It grew vines, then it grew hair. Some time after Labor Day it grew a hand or two. And a week after Thanksgiving it grew an eye or three, and started eating all the pickles. And by now you've probably figured out, that this is one of Garfield's Tales of Scary Stuff! Today's episode: The Creature that Lived in the Refrigerator, Behind the Mayonnaise, Next to the Ketchup, And to the Left of the Cole Slaw. For a long time, no one in the house dreamed that they had a creature living in the refrigerator, behind the mayonnaise, next to the ketchup, and to the left of the cole slaw. Then one day in February...
Jon: Let's see, I need... two cups of milk (goes to the refrigerator). Milk, milk, where is milk? (The creature passes a carton of milk to Jon, without him realizing.) Oh, thanks! (Garfield comes.) I'm making Abraham Lincoln's Birthday birthday cake.
Garfield: Leave the beard off this time, will ya? (Jon freezes pouring milk, as he suddenly realized what gave him the milk.) Ju-hoo, hello? The light's are on, but nobody's home (Jon mutters intelligibly) While Jon is reciting his vowels, I'm going to get a piece of watermelon. (Takes a plate of watermelon, but only the shell is left.) Who ate all my watermelon? They could've at least left me the seeds.
(The creature shoots the seeds. Jon is still muttering.)
Garfield: Stop singing witch doctor, look! (The creature grows outside from the refrigerator as Garfield and Jon watch. They soon scream and run out of the house, grabbing Odie along.)
(Scene change: city, phone booth.)
Jon: (to the phone) That's right! A creature!
Police Chief: Uh-uh, I see, So, where is this alleged creature? Uh-uh, behind the mayonnaise, next to the ketchup, to the left of the cole slaw. We'll be right over (hangs up) Looks like we've got 817, Jones.
Jones: A creature living in the refrigerator, behind the mayonnaise, next to the ketchup, and to the left of the cole slaw?
Police Chief: You got it.
Garfield: In no time at all, the police department's special refrigerator SWAT team was on it's way, and converging on the house.
Jon: I put it away. I guess I forgot about it back there.
Police Chief: (to Jones) When will people learn to be more careful with leftovers?
Garfield: Around here we usually don't have any.
Police Chief: I'm sending Schmidlap in. Hey, Schmidlap, over here!
Jon: Is he an specialist on unearthly creatures and mutated life forms?
Police Chief: No, sir. He's just the stupidest man I have on the force.
Schmidlap: You called, chief?
Police Chief: Schmidlap, what's 2+2?
Schmidlap: Umm, eleven!
Police Chief: You'll do fine. Now, go in there and find the creature that's living in the refrigerator, behind the mayonnaise, next to the ketchup, and to the left of the cole slaw?
Schmidlap: Right away, chief!
(Schmidlap runs to the house.)
Jon: Well, he only missed by one.
Garfield: The officer disappeared into the house and they waited for him. And waited and waited. Finally, twenty minutes later...
Schmidlap: (comes from the house) I didn't see 'em, chief.
Police Chief: Let me get this straight. You didn't see a creature living in the refrigerator, behind the mayonnaise, next to the ketchup, and to the left of the cole slaw?
Schmidlap: Ohh, to the LEFT of the cole slaw!
Garfield: Finally, the superlative cat realized it was up to him. Down the road he dashed, to the nearest minimarket where he hurriedly purchased the one thing he thought might do it. He ran back to the house and cautiously made his way inside, knowing full well that somewhere iwithin lurked the creature that lived in the refrigerator, behind the... uh, you know the rest. All was quiet until, suddenly, it grabbed him! With magnificent strength, the cat broke free from it's slimy grasp. But no matter which way he ran, there it was. Finally, it had the popular cat in its clutches, and it drew him towards its lair, in the refrigerator, behind the mayonnaise, next to the ketchup, and to the left of the cole slaw. It looked lie it was all over for the cat, but that's when he decided, to employ his secret weapon. Yes, it was small, open box, of baking soda. (Garfield throws the box to the creature's mouth. It begins to feel sick, and disappears in a puff of smoke.) Every housekeeper knows, that a small, open box of baking soda, will keep your refrigerator fresh.
(Scene change)
Garfield: The cat received a special commendation from the police, as well as the refrigerator manufacturers the world over.
Garfield: Don't thank me! Just make certain every refrigerator in America has a small, open box of baking soda, inside, thank you!
Garfield: The police were delighted to comply, and they dispatched them to deliver boxes of baking soda to every refrigerator in the city. The end? I wish it were. But horrifying as it may seem, there are still refrigerators without small, open boxes of baking soda in them. And if you open one, you can find yourself in one of Garfield's Tales of Scary Stuff. This has been a public service. (Girl opens the refrigerator and screams)