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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode opens above Jon’s house. A butterfly floats overhead, and Garfield snoozes in the front yard on a lawn chair)
Garfield: Snore…snore…snore… (He wakes up suddenly and he looks around) Gasp! Huh? (He sees Squeak on a radio along with three ballerina mice below him)
Lady Mice: Giggle (Garfield stares in disbelief)
Garfield: Huh! (He addresses the audience) You know I've always kinda liked ballet dancing, (He shakes his fist at the mice) but do they have to do it while I'm (He points at himself) trying to sleep?
Squeak: Very good! (The lady mice spin) Now, time for today’s lesson, ladies! (He steps on a button on the radio, playing the next track. A French voice instructs the mice)
Radio: Welcome to ballet dancing for mice (The mice pirouette) and other small rodents.
Garfield: (angrily) AW!
Radio: (continuing) Today, we shall be covering pirouettes. Place the feet slightly apart, raise the arms, and pivot slowly. (The mice follow the instructions given, and they dance perfect ballet)
Lady Mouse: I live to dance!
Garfield: Yeah? Well, some of us live to eat, (He points at himself) and eat to live. (He pauses, realizing that literally everyone eats to live) Where’s Vito with my 11:30 AM pizza delivery? (He looks around, and speaks to the viewers, holding his paw to his mouth as if trying to keep a secret) Did you ever have the feeling that you’re being watched? (He looks around again)
(Across the street, Nathan, the boy mad scientist, watches the fat cat from the upstairs window, where his lab is)
Nathan: Good! I have a clear view into the house where it looks like… (He is looking through his latest invention: a red laser with a scope and microphone on the top with a couple of buttons on the side. He looks closer and is slightly disgusted by the rodents) ew, ballet-dancing mice? (He holds up a recorder and talks into is) “11:30 AM: I’m monitoring the Arbuckle home (He looks into the scope for a second) looking for a proper test subject for my new invention.” (He peers through the scope again and spots Vito driving up in his truck) Ah! The pizza delivery man! The perfect test subject! First, I need to seize control of his mind! Evil laugh
(On the street, Vito stops in front of Garfield’s house)
Vito: I must hurry! (He pulls the brake and talks to the viewers) Mr. Arbuckle’s cat does not like it when his 11:30 AM pizzas arrive 10 seconds late! (He gets out of the van, with the typical stack of pizzas for the Tubby Tabby. When he does, Nathan powers up his device, presses a blue button on it, and fires a laser at Vito, hitting the chef with it. Vito does a few weird poses in front of Garfield, but soon stands upright, as if nothing happened)
Nathan: It’s working! I’ve seized control of his mind! (He talks into the microphone) You hate delivering pizzas! You will no longer deliver pizzas! (Vito says the same thing)
Vito: I will no longer deliver pizzas. (His pupils become big and small, big and small, alternating size. Garfield hops out of his chair, demanding lunch)
Garfield: Hey! It’s 11:30 (He points at his wrist, as if wearing a watch, even though he isn’t) and 10 seconds! Where are my pizzas?! (He points at himself)
Vito: No. (He shakes his head) No pizzas for you. No pizzas for anyone.
Garfield: Gasp! (He grabs his head in horror. Alarms go off in his head) Words I hoped I'd never hear! (He clasps his paws together)
Vito: I hate delivering pizzas! I hate making pizzas and delivering pizzas, and everything about the pizzas! (Unbeknownst to Garfield, Nathan speaks in his microphone, telling Vito what to say)
Nathan: I will never make another pizza as long as I live!
Vito: I will never make another pizza as long as I live! (He holds the pizzas over his head, ready to spike them into the ground. Garfield grabs his head, terrified at what Vito might do)
Garfield: AHHH! Vito! Say it isn’t so!
Nathan: Throw them on the ground. Stomp on them!
Vito: Here! Here is what I think of pizzas! (He slams them on the ground in front of the mortified cat) Down with pizzas! (He stomps on the pies. Garfield stands on his toes watching his lunch get crushed right before him)
Garfield: NO! NO! NO! (He shakes his head, but there’s nothing he can do. Vito drives away, leaving the Flabby Tabby speechless at what he just witnessed) Sputters (Nathan, on the other hand, is delighted with his test)
Nathan: Evil laugh At last! At last I'm getting revenge on that cat for ruining my plans for WORLD DOMINATION! (He leaves from the window and speaks into his recorder) “Testing of mind control device: unqualified success! (He holds a finger up) I press the blue button, (He does so) capture someone’s mind, and speak into the microphone to tell them what to do!” (He is interrupted by his mom)
Nathan’s Mother: Nathan! (The boy drops his arms in anger) Nathan? (She comes up the stairs)
Nathan: Oh no, not now! (He turns around) Mom! I'm working on a plan to conquer and enslave mankind! (He holds his arms up in frustration)
Nathan’s Mother: That can wait, Nathan. (She points at him, and then points up) First you have to take out the garbage and do your chores!
Nathan: But mom!
Nathan’s Mother: Don’t you “But mom” me, young man! Garbage first, enslaving mankind second. (She walks downstairs)
Nathan: Grrr! (He looks down and gets an idea, along with an evil smirk on his face)
(In the living room, Nathan’s mother walks around)
Nathan’s Mother: Oh, these kids today. Where are their priorities? (She is zapped by Nathan’s mind control device. Like Vito, she poses a few times before standing up normally and wincing)
Nathan: Take the garbage out yourself, mom!
Nathan’s Mother: I will take the garbage out myself, mom. (She heads for the door)
Nathan: Evil laugh The effects will only last a few days before they wear off. (The camera zooms into Nathan’s mouth, transitioning into the next scene, which has Odie in the front yard, wagging his tail and smiling at a butterfly) Alright, now, let’s see if my invention will work on that dog that lives with the cat! (He presses the button and zaps Odie, but the brain-dead beagle is not affected)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (He hops after the butterfly as happy as can be) Bark! Bark! Bark! Pants
Nathan: Hmm… (He grabs his recorder and speaks into it) “my invention has no effect on the dog named Odie.” (He sets it down) I’ll try someone else. (He looks around and spots Jon leaning out the window watching his pup play) Ah! He’ll do fine!
Jon: Hmm. It’s a little after 11:30. I’d better start making lasagnas for today. (Nathan fires up the ray gun and hits Jon with it. It works as intended and Jon reacts the same way: with weird poses and a grimace on his face. Nathan gives him orders on the microphone)
Nathan: You don’t like cats. You don’t want ANY cats in your house, especially Garfield!
Jon: I do not like cats.
(On his chair, Garfield is still confused and wondering about Vito’s odd behavior from earlier)
Garfield: What could’ve caused Vito to do such a horrible thing?! (Jon walks in slowly) I can’t think of anything worse that could happen! (Jon steps to the side of the chair. The Tubby Tabby looks up at him, looking rather surprised)
Jon: I do not like cats. (He raises his arms) I do not want ANY cats in my house.
Garfield: Huh? (Off-screen, Jon grabs him. Onscreen, Jon sets him outside on the sidewalk)
Jon: Especially Garfield.
Garfield: Huh. I thought of something worse. (Jon tosses a stick with a bag at the end out the door. It lands on Garfield’s head) Ow!
Nathan: Evil laugh Yes! (He raises and lowers his fist in celebration)
(As for Garfield, he holds the stick and bag over his shoulder and runs around the the back)
Garfield: Jon can’t be serious. Pants (He reaches the back door, but what he sees causes him to quickly dig his heels into the ground, stopping himself in his tracks) YAHH-HA-HA! (Jon is throwing away all of Garfield’s favorite food. Cans of food, boxes of cereal, packages of cookies, everything) Jon what are you doing?! (He holds his hands high) Why are you throwing away all my favorite foods?!
Jon: Scowl! (He shakes a box of cereal out into the garbage. The fat cat notices what type of cereal it is)
Garfield: This is a whole box of Crunchy Poodle Doodles! (He clenches his fists, holds them up to his mouth–like a person in suspense–and looks up at the sky) This is the perfect cereal! (He holds his paws out and looks down) It’s loud, it has no nutritional value whatsoever, (He raises his paws and head) and it turns milk purple!
Jon: Scowl! (He spikes another box into the trash can) Grunt! From now on I only serve one food in this house: raisins.
Garfield: Raisins?!? (He grabs his head)
Jon: Raisin pie, raisin bread, raisin stew, meatloaf, but with raisins instead of the meat. (This is too much for Garfield to take)
Garfield: (weepily) No! NO! (He grabs his whiskers and pulls them) NO! You can’t be serious! (He drops to his knees, pleading with Jon and weeping) No! No! (He clasps his paws together) You can’t be serious!
Jon: If you want cereal, (He points up) you can have raisin bran but without the bran. Which reminds me… (He grabs Garfield and carries him outside)
Garfield: (weepily) This still can’t be happening to me! It can’t!
Jon: I still do not like cats. (He sets Garfield on the sidewalk in front of the house. Garfield looks at him before he returns inside and closes the door)
Garfield: (now angrily) Oh, this day is not going well at all! (He gets up and points up) Why does Jon suddenly not like me? I’m lovable, (He runs up the sidewalk) or as lovable as I ever was. (Upon seeing a woman walking in front of him, the fat cat screeches on his heels to a stop, raising his toes as he does. The woman is also mind controlled based upon her slow, abnormal way of speaking)
Woman: Garfield Cat, (She looks at him) I hate Garfield Cat. (She walks away. The neighbor, Harvey, who is also under Nathan’s mind control, walks up behind the woman and points at the Flabby Tabby)
Harvey: Are you Garfield Cat?
Garfield: Chuckles (He grins and nods yes)
Harvey: Too bad. I hate Garfield Cat. (The portly pussycat blinks twice, and then hangs his head sadly. Eddie Gourmand walks up)
Eddie Gourmand: Garfield the Cat, (Garfield looks up at him) I hate you. (He points up) I don’t know why, I-I-I-I just do. (The poor feline grabs his head. Odie trots up from the viewer’s left)
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: What?
Odie: Bark! (Garfield lowers his arms)
Garfield: Odie, do you hate me?
Odie: Gasp! Uh-uh! (He vehemently shakes his head no)
Garfield: Do you like me? (He smiles and holds his paws out)
Odie: Uh-huh! (Aww, that’s adorable. The big-hearted beagle nods his head and gives his best friend a long slurp from the stomach up to the chin, tickling Garfield and his fancy) Slurp!
Garfield: Oh! Laughs (He bends his knees, slightly bouncing in place, even though his feet don’t get off the ground) Great! I don’t know what got into Jon. Vito not making pizzas? Oh, that’s like (He glances at the audience) Vito not making pizzas.
Odie: Whimpers (He clearly feels sorry for Garfield. He lets his ears droop)
Garfield: Hmm…
Odie: Bark! (He points out someone coming from behind Garfield. The Tubby Tabby turns around and sees Herman Post coming up the street)
Garfield: The mailman! With my luck today, he’s probably returning Nermal from Abu Dhabi, postage due. (He points up)
Herman Post: Hums. (He looks at a letter) Oh what a joy it is (The pets watch as he approaches them) each day to deliver the mail… (Before he can continue, he gets zapped by Nathan’s device. A few poses later, and he is under Nathan’s spell)
Nathan: OK, here’s what I want you to say: (He lowers the microphone and talks into it) I hate delivering the mail. I’m going to move to Spain and become a beautiful senorita! Laughs
Herman Post: I hate delivering the mail. (He tosses the letter in his hand behind him and begins bouncing up the sidewalk, clapping his hands as he goes) I’m going to move to Spain and become a beautiful senorita! (Garfield and Odie watch in stunned silence)
Nathan: Evil laugh I can make anyone do whatever I want! (He raises his arms in triumph and speaks into the mic again) Mom, take out more garbage! Maniacal laugh
(Down below, Garfield and Odie continue watching Herman skip away)
Herman Post: Senorita! Laughs (The pets are open-mouthed and speechless)
Garfield: (while pointing at the mailman) Odie, did you see…? (He blinks)
Odie: (nervously) Uh-huh. (He nods and then turns around to face his fat feline friend)
Garfield: (while pointing up) He started acting odd after he was hit by some sort of ray from across the street! (An idea comes to Garfield) Gasp! That’s the house where that bratty mad scientist Nathan!
Odie: Mutters Whimpers
Garfield: C’mon! (He waves his paw, gesturing for Odie to join him, and takes off across the street. The loyal pup is quick to follow)
Odie: Bark! Bark!
(They reach Nathan’s house. Once there, they quickly stop and hide behind the cellar from Nathan’s mom, who is taking out the trash)
Nathan’s Mother: I must take out the garbage as ordered. (She walks down the side door stairs toward the pets. Not wanting to be discovered, they duck behind the cellar doors)
Garfield: Grunt! (Nathan’s mother leaves without seeing the pets) Hoo! (With the coast clear, they dash for the open door) Pants (They run inside and slam it shut behind them)
(Upstairs, Nathan is planning his world takeover)
Nathan: I will rule the world! Everyone will take orders from me, (Garfield and Odie dash past and hide) the most powerful man alive! (He points up, and then awkwardly makes the sign for, “I gotta go”) But first I have to go to the little boys’ room. (He slowly shuffles off camera, and then takes off down the stairs) Evil laugh (He runs right past the cat and dog duo, who are hiding in plain sight behind a drawer. Once Nathan is gone, they step out of their hiding place)
Garfield: (quietly) Oh, this must be it! Some sort of (He holds a finger up) mind-control machine!
Odie: Mm-mm. (He nods in agreement)
Garfield: I guess.
Odie: Worried mutters (He and Garfield head deeper into the lab. The fat cat, who is walking ahead of his canine companion, spots something on the table)
Garfield: What’s this thing? (He grabs what is Nathan’s recorder. Odie trots up to get a better look)
Odie: I don’t know. (Garfield presses the “Play” button and he and Odie listen)
Nathan: (prerecorded) “My invention has no effect on the dog named Odie.”
Garfield: Of course not! You can’t control someone’s brain if they don’t have one.
Odie: Aww… (He hangs his head and his tail, possibly hurt by Garfield’s jab. Regardless, he sticks around)
Garfield: Let’s go back! (He rewinds the recorder and plays a different section)
Nathan: (prerecorded) “The effects will only last a few days before they wear off.”
Garfield: And back a little more. (He rewinds and replays a different part. The camera shifts from above the pets to a close-up of the speaker on the recorder)
Nathan: (prerecorded) “Testing of mind control device: unqualified success! I press the blue button, capture someone’s mind, and speak into the microphone to tell them what to do!”
Garfield: Odie,
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (continuing) that’s the secret! (He points up) Do you realize what this means? (He looks at the recorder in his paw)
Odie: Grr…what?
Garfield: It means I can control the world! I can make everyone do EXACTLY what I want! (He begins imagining what he can do with this technology. He pictures himself surrounded by recurring characters: Jon, the twins, Aunt Ivy, Harry, Arlene, Nermal, and Liz. All of them are bringing large stacks of pizzas to Garfield) I can make every single person on the planet get into the pizza delivery business! (He stands next to the governor in front of city hall, grinning and surrounded by reporters) I can make the governor proclaim every day Garfield the Cat Day! (The governor tests the mic and gives his proclamation, the camera slowly zooming in on Garfield as he does)
Governor: And I further decree that everyone has to give Garfield the Cat a nice gift! (The Tubby Tabby nods his head, chuckling to himself) He’ll accept cash, checks, and all major credit cards! (He then imagines himself on a bed fit for a king in his bedroom)
Garfield: I can sleep all day, (The camera zooms out from him. He holds his head in his paws and holds his toes up) and I can sleep all night! (In his fantasy, he speaks to the audience) Wait a minute, I already do that. (He then imagines standing in front of his least favorite recurring characters. He rubs his paws together evilly, laughs, and looks at each of them) I can make Nermal, Drucilla and Minerva, and Aunt Ivy all move to some other show!
Nermal: Eh. We’re gonna go annoy the people (He points vaguely to his right) at the 6:00 news instead. (They all wave good-bye. Garfield grins wide)
Garfield: I can have the entire planet resculptured so that it looks like an entire replica of my head! (Garfield imagines the world shaped like his head, with all six populated continents on his face)
Odie: Bark!
Garfield: OK, so we’ll have it orbited by a moon that looks like you. (An Odie-shaped moon appears and circles Garfield’s head. As the Odie-shaped moon reaches the front of the Garfield-shaped Earth, the scene transitions back to Odie in the lab)
Odie: Bark!
Garfield: All I have to do (He makes the OK sign with his paw) is push the blue button (He points at it) and talk (He points at the mic and then grabs the device with both paws) into the microphone. And then… (He remembers something) Odie, we have a problem. (He stands on his toes and leans forward) I can’t talk!
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: I’m a cat, remember? Humans can’t hear me, except for those people (He points at us, the viewers) out there. (Love the 4th wall break, Garfield) Microphones can’t either.
Odie: (disappointed) Moan… (Behind him, Nathan walks back upstairs, finished with his bathroom break)
Garfield: And I was SO looking forward to making the world (He tosses the mind-control device away) look like me. (Nathan reaches the top of the stairs and confronts Garfield and Odie)
Nathan: What are you doing in my lab? (The startled pets turn to face the boy scientist) Every time I invent something, you come along (He waves his arm in front of him) and ruin my plans! (He clasps his hands together) I just wanna rule the world and make everyone (He waves his arms in front of him, as if saying “no”) my slaves! Is that so awful?! (Garfield blinks. He and Odie look at each other)
Garfield: Uhh, yeah, it is. (He points up and nods)
Odie: Mutters (He also nods in agreement with his fat feline friend)
Nathan: Well, I won't let you! (He points his thumb at himself and pulls out another device that looks like a satellite dish with a handle on the bottom) I’ll use my disintegration ray! (He points it at them)
Garfield: YAAHHH! (He leaps into the air with his toes spread apart. Odie immediately takes off and the Tubby Tabby is quick to zip after him. They hide behind the bed, but Nathan zaps it and it instantly disappears, revealing Garfield and Odie, who is hiding his head behind Garfield) Whimpers (They hide behind a rolling table, but it and the stuff on it get zapped and disappear. Garfield growls for a second–Odie still using Garfield like a shield–and then they hide behind gas tanks. The tanks are also zapped and are gone)
Odie: Whimpers (He trembles in fear. Garfield looks up and sees the mind-control device he tossed aside earlier. Nathan points the disintegrator at him)
Nathan: There’s nowhere to hide, cat! (Garfield gets a determined look on his face) Prepare to be disintegrated! (He clenches his fist)
Garfield: Ooh, I don't like the sound of that. (He spots the mind controller between him and Nathan)
Odie: Whine! (The Flabby Tabby lunges forward, grabs the device, rolls back onto his feet, and points it at Nathan)
Garfield: Blue button! (He hits Nathan with the latter’s own machine)
Nathan: Grunts (He stands frozen in place. His pupils alternate big and small, much like his victims earlier. The pets walk up to him)
Odie: Whoa!
Garfield: Hm. I can control (Odie turns to him as he thinks) that mind of his (He puts his hands on his hips) if I can give him an order into this microphone, but I can't. (He gets another idea. He points up) But I know who can.
(The scene shifts to Garfield and Odie running outside, leaving Nathan in his lab still under mind control)
Garfield: We just need to borrow something from across the street!
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
(They return to the lab. Garfield carries the radio the mice used at the top of the episode)
Radio: Welcome to ballet dancing for mice, (Garfield sets the radio’s speaker up next to the mic)
Garfield: Snickers (He covers his mouth as he giggles)
Radio: (continuing) and other small rodents. (Garfield turns to Odie)
Garfield: That would include Nathan. (He points his thumb at the boy)
Radio: Put your hands over your head, stand on point, and move in time to the music! (Nathan does as the radio commands, dancing ballet)
Garfield: (while pointing up) That’ll keep him busy for a few days (Odie watches Nathan dance and then turns to Garfield) until the ray wears off.
Odie: Mutters Bark! Mutter Bark! (Garfield translates)
Garfield: What’s to stop him from using his mind control device (Odie nods) when it DOES wear off? (Odie asked a fair question. Garfield gives a great answer) This! (He pulls the disintegrator out from behind his back and zaps the mind controller with it. It disappears without a trace) It took three seasons, (Garfield tosses and catches the disintegrator in his paw) but we finally got some CULTURE into the show.
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: (chuckling) Oh yeah. I took the disintegration ray. (He tosses it to his other paw and shows it off to Odie. He points up, and then at the ray gun) I thought it might come in handy next time we have a guest appearance by Aunt Ivy.
Odie: Right!
Garfield: Chuckle
Odie: Pants (He lets his tongue hang. They watch as Nathan dances. The lady mice from earlier join him. The music from the radio ends, Nathan bows, Garfield smiles and applauds, and the episode closes)
THE END