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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode starts above Jon’s neighborhood. Inside his house, Garfield waits at the table for his breakfast. Unlike most episodes, the table is set quite nicely, with a black tablecloth, wine goblets, and a candelabra in the center to go with the plate, fork and knife in front of him. Growing impatient, the fat cat rings a bell)
Garfield: Grunts Hmm. (To the audience) Guess I'll have to use the slightly LARGER bell. (He puts aside the dinky bell and pulls out a bell as big as he is. Its ring sounds like it came from a ship and is so loud it shakes the house, and knocks a bottle and mug off the end table) Meow! (Jon enters shortly after, wearing butler’s attire and holding a covered plate)
Jon: You rang? Sorry to be 30 seconds late. (He lifts the dome and reveals Garfield’s bowl with a slice of lasagna inside. Garfield tosses the bell aside as Jon serves him)
Garfield: Laughs (He wiggles his fingers)
Jon: Pepper? (He holds a grinder next to his cat. Garfield shakes his head no)
Garfield: Laughs (He shoos Jon away with his paw)
Jon: Oh, I can't believe I have to do this. (He enters the kitchen and shuts the door behind him)
(Outside, Bruno–who is making his debut in this series–watches from the other side of the back fence, which in past episodes was Hercules’s territory)
Bruno: Garfield’s really got it made! Big house, cushy bed, a human who waits on him! And where do I have to live? This trash can! (He is revealed standing on a garbage can. Next to him is a bigger garbage bin, another can, and various trash and clutter scattered around, like empty tin cans and a fish skeleton) Worse, it’s even got a view of his house, and it’s close enough to smell the lasagna! (He grips his head) Mmm! It’s not fair! (He hops off his vantage point) And maybe it’s time I DID something about it! (He pounds his fist into his palm and turns around, an evil idea brewing in his brain)
(Inside, Jon looks over a list of things for a trip he’s taking)
Jon: Just finishing up my checklist before I leave on my trip. Suitcase packed? Check. (With each “check”, he marks it on his list) Mail delivery stopped? (Garfield and Odie snooze on the couch as Jon heads to the kitchen) Check. Food for Odie? Check. (Several cans of dog food sit on the counter) Food for Garfield? (He checks the cabinets, each one filled to the top with microwave lasagna) Check, check, check, (He checks the garage, which is also stuffed full of lasagna) and check. (Jon wears an overcoat and hat and bids his pets farewell) See you tomorrow night, guys!
Garfield: (calling) On your way home, pick up more microwave lasagna! We’ll be out.
Jon: Oh and make sure you don’t open the door to anyone.
Garfield: I may not even let YOU in unless you picked up the microwave lasagna.
Odie: Uh-huh! (He nods)
(Jon drives off. Bruno peeks out of the garbage can in front of the house)
Bruno: Ooh! There he goes! Evil chuckle
(Inside, the pets resume their nap)
Garfield and Odie: Snore (The doorbell rings)
Odie: Huh? (He wakes up. Garfield cracks an eye open and yells toward the front door)
Garfield: (yelling) Whoever it is, go away! (The doorbell rings twice more) Snore (He gets up and yells again) Whatever it is, we don’t want any! (He nods off with his paws on his tummy) Snore snore (Someone pounds on the door) Gasp!
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (He gets up and off the couch) Ooh! What if it’s Vito delivering a pizza? (He runs toward the front. Odie trots up behind him) I don’t think anyone here ordered a pizza but you never know. We’ve ordered so many of them.
Odie: Concerned mutters (Despite Odie’s worry, the Flabby Tabby grabs the doorknob)
Garfield: I know, I heard what Jon said about not opening the door to anyone, but this could be pizza! (He opens the door and addresses Bruno) Yes?
Bruno: (angrily) You know who I am?! (He points at Garfield)
Garfield: Sure. you’re Bruno, the cat that lives in the trash can I can see out the dining room window. (He points behind him with his thumb)
Bruno: No! I’m the cat who lives HERE now! (He points down. Without further explanation, he grabs Garfield and throws him onto the sidewalk)
Garfield: YAH! Oh, hey, what’s the big idea?
Bruno: The big idea is that I live HERE, and YOU live out THERE!
Garfield: (floored) Wha-? (The shock quickly wears off and he clenches his fists, now irate) Grr! Grunt! Grunt! (He walks up to Bruno, only to have the home invader slam the door in his face. Garfield stumbles back and flops on the sidewalk. He then talks to the viewers) Frustrated sigh. I hate it when Jon is right about something. (He sits up, still looking at the camera) But I don't have to be worried. Odie’s in there. Odie will defeat that bully and get me back inside. (Not a moment later, a loud WHACK is heard and Odie is flung out through the pet door and onto his fat feline friend)
Odie: Yowl! Huh? (He raises an eyebrow and gives Garfield an “I told you so” look) Mm-hmm. (He gets off the Tubby Tabby, who also stands up)
Garfield: Yeah, I kinda figured that’s what would happen. Let’s try the back way! (He and Odie run around to the back) Hurry, before he thinks to block off the doggy door!
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! (Garfield charges headfirst into the doggy door, only to be mildly concussed)
Garfield: OOF!
Odie: Bark! (He runs up to the woozy cat, who collapses next to him. Nevertheless, Odie tries the same thing, and gets the same result) Yow! (He flops on top of Garfield) Whine
(Inside reveals why the door didn’t open: Bruno had nailed it shut with a few wooden boards. He tosses the hammer in his paw and explains to the audience)
Bruno: Of course I had to make a few IMPROVEMENTS on my new home. Chuckle
(Not to be deterred, Garfield and Odie lean a ladder against the house leading to the upstairs window)
Garfield: (furiously) Ooh! (He climbs it as Odie watches, panting and wagging his tail as per usual) Ooh! Meow! Grr! (After reaching the top, he sees Bruno has put his paws on the top of the ladder) Huh? Gasp! (Bruno gives the ladder a shove and down it goes) Oh, no! Stop! (Bruno gives Garfield a cocky wave good-bye) Ow! (He crashes on the ground, but will not take this defeat lying down) Grr!
(Inside the office, Bruno watches out the window)
Bruno: Yawn
(In the backyard, Garfield and Odie bounce on a trampoline, presumably trying to get in via one of the upstairs windows)
Garfield: Snarl!
Odie: Growl (Bruno holds a red frying pan above the pets. As expected, they both hit the pan with their respective skulls)
Garfield: Ouch!
Odie: Ow! (With that plan thwarted, Bruno closes the window)
(After heading downstairs, he skips over to the fridge and rubs his paws together greedily)
Bruno: Chuckle (He opens the fridge) Mine, all mine! (He grabs a chain of sausages, a banana, a hot dog, a can of something, and sits on the couch to enjoy his bounty. He chomps a banana and slurps juice from a juice box before tossing the inedible stuff on the floor, among them are: the peel, the box, a fish skeleton, an apple core a yogurt cup, and a can of tuna) Laughs
(Outside, Garfield hangs his head in defeat and walks toward the back of the backyard. Odie trots behind him)
Garfield: Defeated sigh. Odie, old pal, (It’s a rare day when Garfield admits that he and Odie are friends) I’ve given the matter a lot of thought, (He turns around to face his canine companion, who nods) and I've decided what we’re gonna do next. (He points his finger up next to the pooch)
Odie: Wha?
Garfield: Yep. We’re gonna go live in this old trash can. (He gestures behind him with his thumb. Odie nods and wags his tail, at first not realizing what the fat cat said)
Odie: Right! (Garfield’s comment then sinks into the hound’s hollow head and he stops wagging his tail) Huh?
(Left with little option, the pets–with Odie walking on his hind legs for the first time all episode–open the loose picket and examine their new home. They each carry a broom in their paws expecting it to be trash)
Garfield: Grunt (He hops on a trash can next to the larger dumpster and opens the dumpster’s lid. He looks inside–smiling–at the foul odor and buzzing flies but his smile quickly fades and he stumbles back) Whimpers (He falls off the trash can and onto his back) Stutters (Odie walks up to him as lies amongst old papers, bottles, and an old banana peel)
Odie: Hmm? (He looks up. Garfield then gets up and they begin sprucing up their new home)
Garfield: Ahem.
Odie: Mutter
(Inside, Bruno has made his new home about as much of a mess as his old one. He watches some TV on Garfield’s chair, the same show that Jon, Garfield, and Odie watched in the episode Night of the Apparatuses)
Wendell: (on TV) I don’t know what’s come over you, Cassie, just because I’m going to marry Helen.
Bruno: Ah! This is great! When that human being comes home, I'll throw him out, too! (He is caught off guard by the cat and dog duo outside)
Garfield: Yoo-hoo! (He looks outside. Garfield and Odie are waving to him from the other side of the fence) Yoo-hoo! (He shouts a few other things, but I cannot make it out.
Bruno: (miffed) Hey, what’s he doing in my old trash can home?! (He runs upstairs into Jon’s room and peeks out the window. Garfield and Odie have given the dumpster a fresh coat of paint to make it look like a house. On the front is a picture of a door and window, and the lid is painted like a roof)
Garfield: Laughs (He paints the side green. Odie gives him two thumbs up)
Odie: Aww!
Bruno: Laughs he’s gonna fix up my old place and live in it? Aaah! Who cares? (In the distance, Odie flaps a pink piece of carpet on the grass)
Odie: Mutters (Garfield walks into Bruno’s line of sight)
Garfield: No, Odie, that’s not the carpeting for the living room, that goes in the den. It matches the new drapes in there.
Bruno: (angrily) There’s no living room in there, and no den! It’s just a trash can! (He ducks back inside. Odie then carries a satellite dish for the roof, much to Bruno’s shock. He blinks several times in awe) Huh? A satellite dish?
(Odie installs it by hammering it down to the roof–or lid since it’s a dumpster they’re redecorating. Garfield calls to him from the ground)
Garfield: We’ll connect the dish up with the plasma screen in the game room.
Odie: Pants Right! (He points at Garfield)
(A group of cats walk up behind Garfield. Among them are: Harry, Nermal, Teno, Geno, and Myron)
Harry: Wow, this looks pretty nice! This is a nice deal! Thanks for having us!
Garfield: Hey everybody, c’mon in! (He steps to the side and lets the cats in) The water in the pool is a perfect 80 degrees.
(On top of the house, Bruno watches jealously. He hops to the sides to try to get a better view, getting more and more dumbfounded every second)
Bruno: Pool? He doesn’t have a pool in there! (The cats line up on the side if the dumpster, which now has its lid up)
Harry: Last one in has fleas and ticks! (He and several other cats dive into a pool full of water)
Bruno: Oh… (He shrugs and stares sadly at them. A horn honks and Vito drives up, pizzas in hand)
Vito: Bonjourno! (He hands them to Garfield, who runs up to him wearing glasses and is still wet from the pool)
Garfield: Oh, thanks, Vito! Hey everybody, pizza’s here! (The cats flock around him)
Harry: Alright, that looks good! (He pops up in front of the camera) I want pepperoni! I want pepperoni! (He goes to get his own slice)
Bruno: No! (He clenches his fists and shakes them furiously) I can’t take any more of this! (The fully fed up feline charges down the stairs, out the front door, and up the yard. I guess the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence) Pizza, pool parties, where was that stuff when I lived there?! (He hops over the fence, bounces off the dumpster lid, and knocks on the side of it. Garfield, now dry, lifts the lid)
Garfield: Hey, do you mind? We’re trying to watch a movie in here! (He returns to the dumpster. Bruno’s mouth hangs open in shock)
Bruno: Uhh… (He blinks, the cuckoo sound plays as he does. Garfield pops up again to rub some more salt in Bruno’s self-inflicted wound)
Garfield: Can you believe it? Someone remade Kung Fu Creatures on the Rampage, (He wiggles his fingers and pounds the edge of the dumpster) in 3D! (He holds up three fingers and returns. Bruno looks at the audience dumbfoundedly before pounding again on the door and bouncing outside)
Bruno: (angrily) Garfield! Come back up here! (He points at the ground) And bring that mutt with you! (Garfield and Odie lift their heads out. They each wear sunglasses)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: Sigh. (He lifts his shades) What is it now? (He sets them back on his nose)
Bruno: You wanna trade back? You go live in that wonderful house with all the food? (The pets look at each other. I don’t think they traded to begin with…)
Odie: Hmm?
Garfield: That dump? (He points behind him with his thumb) Oh, no way! (Odie too shakes his head no)
Odie: Right! Mutters (He nods yes, agreeing with his fat feline friend. Bruno is stunned and just blinks) Huh? (He and the Tubby Tabby look at each other)
Garfield: Odie, we’re late for the bowling tournament.
Odie: Gasp! Excited mutters (They return to their new home, however Bruno is determined to get his home back)
Bruno: C’mon, outta there! (His fist trembles in anger) This is my trash can, and you two stay out of it! (He lifts the lid. Garfield and Odie peek out of it again. Bruno grabs them both and yanks them out)
Garfield: Nervous chuckle
Bruno: Sigh! The nerve of those guys, stealing someone else’s home! (Hypocrisy: it’s good for a laugh. He rubs his paws together greedily) Laughs (He leaps on the edge of the dumpster) Hey, watch this! I’m gonna swan-dive into my new pool! (He does, but instead of water, he gets hit with a cold dose of reality…and disgusting, cold, metal. Garfield and Odie cover their eyes, as if they don’t want to see it)
Odie: Right! (Bruno lifts his head up, woozy from his concussion, but he shakes it off)
Bruno: Hey, who drained the water outta my pool, and where IS my pool?! (The lid slowly lowers behind him before quickly closing on his head) Uh! (Outside, Garfield and Odie stick two bags on the lid to weigh it down)
Odie: Mutters (He and Garfield hide around the corner as two garbage collectors take everything away, including Bruno)
Bruno: (inside the dumpster) Where’s the bowling alley, and the plasma-screen TV?
Odie: Ooh. (They watch, smiling)
Bruno: (from inside) I wanna watch Kung Fu Creatures on the Rampage, in 3D! And where’d everybody go?! (The garbage men dump him and all the other trash in the truck) Hey, everyone! Come back! It’s too early to break up the party! (They drive off. Garfield and Odie wave good-bye) C’mon! We have pizza!
Odie: Aww. (The pets look at each other) Mm?
Garfield and Odie: Snicker (They look at each other return to their rightful home)
(They burst through the front pet door, relieved to be back)
Garfield: Sigh. Back where we belong, Odie. (Odie nods slightly. He and Garfield start walking toward the living room) All of our troubles are over.
Odie: Huh?! (Before they can get out of the hallway, they notice what Bruno did to the house)
Garfield: Well, maybe not ALL of our troubles. (The living room is covered with upset chairs, empty cans of lasagna, and food rejects like apple cores and fish skeletons. Just when it can’t get any worse…)
Jon: I’m back guys! (The cat and dog duo turn to face their owner) My flight was canceled so I'm not going to…Gasp! (He sees the abomination Bruno left in his absence) Scowl! (His head quakes in anger) Garfield! Odie! (They both shield their faces with their paws)
Odie: Bark!
Jon: (continuing) What did you do to the house?! (The cat and dog duo back away as Jon steps forward)
Odie: Whimpers
Garfield: Well, WE didn’t do it.
Jon: I’m gone for three hours and I come back to a DISASTER! This place looks like the inside of a trash can!
Garfield: (with his paws up) I can explain! Well, if I could TALK then I can explain, but we didn’t… (Jon is having none of it)
Jon: You don’t deserve to live in this house! Not the way YOU treat it! It couldn’t be messier around here! (Terrified of their irate owner, Garfield and Odie. In his rage, Jon accidentally lets go of his suitcase, which lands on his head and spills its contents, unaware of Bruno making the entire mess.) Ugh! (He looks around at the mess he made) Moan
(Later that night, Garfield and Odie have set up shop inside a dumpster outside of Vito’s)
Garfield: (inside) You comfortable, Odie?
Odie: (inside) Oh, uh-uh. (He denies Garfield’s question)
(Inside, Garfield is lying on his side resting his head in his hand. Odie is behind him, trying to use whatever free space there is in the cramped quarters)
Garfield: Yeah, me neither.
Odie: Whimper
Garfield: Jon will get over it in a few hours, or days, or years.
Odie: Howl! (He spots something on the wall) Gasp! (He turns to Garfield to ask what it is) Confused mutters (The fat cat sits up and looks at it)
Garfield: What’s that? I don’t know. (Odie’s eyes narrow as he focuses on it. He sniffs it a couple of times) Some sort of sliding panel or door or something. Give it a shove. (Odie turns it like a doorknob and a door opens. They blink in awe) Gasp!
Odie: Oh… (They start heading down a flight of stairs)
Garfield: Wha-? (At the bottom is a whole cat lounge, complete with chairs, music, a TV, even a disco ball. Several cats are already down there, including Harry, Myron, Teno, and Geno. Garfield and Odie stare from the stairs, completely awestruck that their ploy to catch Bruno was an actual thing)
Harry: (to Garfield and Odie) What are you waiting for, guys? The movie’s about to start! (He points at the TV with his thumb. The pets look in that direction) Here’s something to munch on while you watch Kung Fu Creatures on the Rampage, (He punches the air in front of him) in 3D! (He holds up three fingers and grabs a slice of pizza. Garfield and Odie step down and join the others)
Garfield: 3D! (to the viewers) Maybe we’ll be lucky (He rubs his paws together) and Jon won’t take us back!
Odie: Bark! (He takes a slice of pizza and joins the others)
Garfield: Oh, this is great! It couldn’t be any better! (He too grabs a slice) Chuckles
(Odie dances to the music with the other cats)
Odie: Hums (Harry spins up in front of him)
Harry: Time to start the fireworks display! (Several fireworks get shot from inside the dumpster into the sky. They burst in various blues, yellows, and greens)
Crowd: Ooh! Ahh! Ohh! (The last firework makes the shape of Garfield from the strip, grinning) OHH! (On that fitting note, this episode reaches its conclusion)
THE END