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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(Jon is taking Garfield and Odie to a French restaurant. Dignified music is being played in the background. Inside, the encounter a large queue of people waiting to be seated.)
Waiter: *imitating a French accent* Dere vill be two-hour wait for a table, I am afraid.
Jon: Well, you don't want to wait two hours for food. (Jon is about to leave.) Let's go. (Garfield grabs Jon's leg.)
Garfield: Try slipping the guy a little money. See if that hurries things up. [Unsure of words 1:23-1:25]
(Jon strikes a confused facial expression, while Garfield is pushing him to the waiter.)
Jon: You want me give him a tip, is that it? (Garfield pushes Jon to the waiter. The queue has vanished.) Excuse me, how long for the table?
Waiter: Two hours.
(Jon takes a coin from a pocket.)
Jon: How long away... now? (Jon performs sleight of hand ability and presents a small silver coin.)
Waiter: Fifi! (The waiter examines the coin Jon gave him.) Jacques! You will not believe this! The king of the big tip is here! He gave me a dime!
Garfield: A DIME?!
Jon: That was all I had!
Waiter: I am rich! (The restaurant guests are staring at Jon and he waiter.) Now I can quit my job and live on the Pritch Lane? [Unsure of words 1:47 - 1:49] in luxury! My children can have the places for the tip, and my maggie-free old mother can finally have her operation! (Jon is searching through his wallet.)
Jon: Sir, I have...
Waiter: My brother can go to college, my starving poodle can taste food again! And all the cousins this generous...
Jon: Here! (Jon pushes banknotes to the waiter.) Take my money and my credit cards in my wallet, okay? Everything! (Jon hurls his valuables at the waiter.)
Waiter: I will have a table for you in a moment. (The enriched waiter grabs donation from Jon and walks away.)
Jon: (Jon shows Garfield empty pockets.) Thanks a lot, Garfield.
Garfield: Hey, you're lucky you haven't given him your usual nickel. The pooch's strained, I'll get him. (Garfield walks to the left.)
Odie: Huh? Woof! Woof!
Garfield: Oh, these are photos of the famous people who ate here. (The screen moves to the photos.) Lot of these people haven't worked in years. Cactus Jake, Binky the Clown, The Buddy Bears...
Odie: *gasps* Huh? (The screen focuses on a photograph showing Garfield and a performer.)
Garfield: Oh, look! Jackie and Garfield! I haven't seen him for years. Didn't you know I was a part-time actor years ago?
Odie: Nuh-nuh!
Garfield: Ooh! Well, since our table isn't ready yet, I'll tell you about it. (Garfield and Odie sit on a nearby sofa.) Jackie was Jackie Melman - singer, comedian, acrobat, there wasn't anything that Jackie couldn't fail at. Years ago, Jackie and his cat Buddy were inseparable. They didn't play in the best theaters, they played in the kind of places where the best building outside goes to the air conditioning. (The scenery changes to a theater. Buddy and Jackie hit the stage while dancing. After a brief tapping, they land on knees. Nobody is clapping.) It wasn't the most entertaining act in the world. (Jackie and Buddy look around. Few people are in the audience and none of them seems impressed by the show.) Most nights they were lucky if they got one applaud. (An elderly man is clapping hands without enthusiasm.)
Jackie: And now, ladies and gentlemen... My partner, the uncomparable Buddy, (Buddy walks on the stage grinning.) will leap through The Hoop of Doom! (Jackie grabs a large hoop while wearing a thick glove. He sets the hoop on fire using a lighter. Buddy hops through the burning hoop.) Ho! (Buddy hops back.) Ho! (Buddy performs a spin past the burning hoop.) Yo! (Buddy with a broad grin casually hops past the hoop.) Ha! (Buddy stands still.) Ta-dah! (The elderly man is clapping hands, also without enthusiasm. Jackie discards the burning hoop and a glove.) Thank you! You're too kind. (Jackie grabs juggling clubs from the curtain and hurls them at Buddy.) Yoop! Yoop, yoop! (Binky the clown's theme is playing in the background, as Buddy and Jacke are juggling.)
Garfield (narrator): It wasn't the bad act when they got down to it.
Jackie: Ta-dah!
Garfield (narrator): Na-on second thought, it was a bad act.
(Jackie and Buddy run to the curtains. They return with a chair, a triangle, and a plank. Buddy stands on the plank side resting on stage. Jackie leaps on the opposite end of the plank, ejecting Buddy in the air. Buddy lands on Jackie's shoulders.)
Jackie: Ta-dah! (Jackie and Buddy are grinning to uncaring audience.)
Garfield (narrator): The audience was really impressed that night with Melman and Buddy. (Fart sound is heard in the background. The elderly man leaves his seat and walks away.) Still not bad for an act making eighty Dollars a week. (Jackie gets hit with a tomato right at his face.) Plus all the rotten vegetables he could catch before they hit you. (Jackie puts Buddy down and attempts to grab vegetables and fruit the audience is hurling at him and Buddy.) One time they threw so many vegetables, that the act was officially named "the tossed salad"! (Jackie and Buddy get pinned down with fruit and vegetables.) But as bad as things were on stage, they were worse back-stage. (The scenery changes to the rooms behind the stage.)
Buddy: Don't want to be dead cat! You know you're small-time, Jackie! And you'll always be small-time! (Buddy is packing himself.)
Jackie: Buddy, baby... You can't break up the act! (Buddy opens the door.)
Buddy: Oh yeah? Just watch me! (Buddy walks away with his suitcase. He closes the door and moves forward. Jackie opens the door.)
Jackie: Don't bother crawling back, cat! Because I won't take you. (Jackie slams the door, causing the pinned star to fall to the floor.)
Garfield: That was how they split up. Jackie tried doing things as a single act. (Another show is held.)
Announcer: *reading from a paper sheet* Ganies and lademen... And now, Jackie and his cat! (A hand passes the announcer another sheet.) Eh? (The man grabs the sheet.) Yer kiddin'. Okay. Err... JACKIE WITHOUT his cat. (Circus music is played in the background. Jackie hits the scene.)
Jackie: *performs tap dance* (Jackie lands on his knees. Nobody is applauding as usual.) Thank you! (Jackie prepares the fiery hoop.) And now... The Hoop of Doom! (The hoop is incinerated.) Yo! (Jackie stares at the point Buddy should be leaping.) Hoe! (Jackie turns his gaze.) Yo! Ha! Ta-dah! (The audience is silent.)
Garfield (narrator): Somehow, it wasn't the same.
Jackie: It's better with my cat. (Jackie discards the burning hoop and the glove. Binky the Clown's theme is playing in the background as Jackie is about to be juggling.) Yep! Yep! Yep! (Jackie hurls the juggling bottles to the left. There is nobody to juggle.) You folks should've seen this, when I had my partner! (Jackie runs at the direction he threw the juggling clubs. He sets the leaping lever as he did with Buddy. He jumps off the chair and nothing spectacular happens.) Hoe! (Jackie pretends to be catching Buddy.) Trust me, it was much better when I had a partner! (Someone is clapping hands.)
Jon: Yay! Bravo! (It turns out, that Jon Arbuckle is enjoying Jackie's show.)
Jackie: Who's the jerk, who likes this act?
Jon: Yay! Ancorn! (Jon is clapping his hands, while Garfield is sleeping in his armchair.) More other! More!
Garfield (narrator): Naturally, Jackie had to invite his fan backstage. (The scenery changes to the room Jackie is occupying. Jon and Garfield are present.)
Jon: I can't tell you, when I had better time! What a terrific show!
Announcer: Hey, Jackie. The Ed Solomon's Show just called.
Jon: He is the number one show on TV! (Jackie is visibly thrilled.)
Announcer: Heh, yeah! They want an act sure for tonight and are desperate! Hehe... They even said they'll take Jackie and his cat.
Jackie: This is it! My chance at the big time! But I don't have my cat! I don't have a chance, unless... Arbuckle! Borrow me your cat.
Jon: But Garfield doesn't do tricks!
Jackie: I can teach this act to anyone. (Jackie dresses himself quickly.) And I can't pass this up! (Jackie grabs Garfield in flight and they head to the WBOR station.)
Garfield (narrator): Jackie got into the station just in time to go on.
Ed Solomon: Alright now, settle down! For all you folks in the United States and Canada, how about a night hand for... Jackie and Garfield! (Solomon is clapping his hands. The audience does the same.) Lets bring them out here.
Jackie: That's us. Remember all the tricks I taught you! (Jackie walks away, setting his bowtie on.)
Garfield: *adjusts his bowtie* (Slow-paced Garfield theme is heard in the background.)
Jackie: Thank you! Thank you very much! (Garfield approaches Jackie.) I'm Jackie and this is my friend... err.., bother, Garfield! Our first trick will be the Hoop of Doom! (Jackie grabs the hoop and sets it alight.) Through the hoop, boy! (Garfield winks.) Here we go! Through the hoop!
(Drums are playing in the background.)
Garfield: There's not enough lasagna in the universe to get me jump through that hoop.
Jackie: Through the hoop! THROUGH the hoop! Oh-kay!
Audience: *laughing* (Jackie runs away with the burning hoop.)
Ed Solomon: *winks* (Jackie returns with the juggling clubs.)
Jackie: How about the lending clubs? (Binky the Clown's theme is played in the background.) Wanna juggle in-clubs?
Garfield: Too undignified.
Jackie: You don't want to juggle the lending clubs either. Al-right! (Jackie starts juggling himself.) You don't wanna do a little this, eh cat?
Garfield-narrator: Jackie thought he was dying, which just proves you never know...
Audience: *laughing* (Ed Solomon turns to the audience.)
Garfield-narrator: ...Because everyone there just took it as a brilliant comedy act!
Audience: *laughing and clapping hands*
Ed Solomon: *grins and winks*
(Jackie is kbegging Garfield to perform the lever stunt.)
Jackie: Please! Just get up! One tiny little death-defying sommersault?
Garfield: I don't mean to see it from the company I keep, [Unsure of words 7:08-7:10] but I have my dignity. (Garfield walks away. Ed Solomon approaches Jackie.)
Ed Solomon: That's really beautiful! [Unsure of words 7:12-7:15] just world!
Audience: *laughing and clapping hands*
Garfield: Jackie was a hit! And what's the first thing you do when you think you're hit in show business?
Odie: Barf! Woof!
Garfield: That's right! You get rid of those, who helped you on the way up.
Jackie: Looks like I'm the only one, who gets the last laugh, cat. (Jackie is adjusting his bowtie.) You don't do anything! (Jackie points at Garfield.)
Garfield: You're... dumping me?
Jackie: Yeah! Well, ah... I'm sorry, but that's how it is in show business, fella. It's a cruel world! (Jackie wears his boater.) See you around! (Jackie walks away with a suitcase.)
Jon: Our table's ready, guys!
Garfield: I went back to Jon, who'd accept me for whom I am. Greedy, self-centered housecat. (Jon, Garfield, and Odie take their seats.)
Odie: Rright! Oh... *makes indistinctive sounds*
Garfield: You wanna know, whatever happened to Jackie?
Odie: Uh-um? (Jackie Melman dressed in waiter's outfit approaches the table.)
Garfield: Beats me.
Jackie: You folks ready for order, or do you need a couple of minutes? (Garfield stares at Jackie with amazement in eyes.)
Garfield: Like the man said - show business is a cruel world.
Jackie: For our special tonight, we have filled [Unsure of words 8:04-8:05] Pop salad! Pop salad! Ahh, you don't like the salad. How about real haubet? [Unsure of words 8:09-8:10] Oh, looks like you don't want to have vegetables.
(The episode ends.)