(upbeat instrumental music)
(episode begins at Garfield's house in the living room)
(Garfield is reading a good health book)
Garfield: (reading) "One of the keys to good health is a vigorous program of exercise such as sit-ups and push-ups." (tosses the book away) That make sense. And I'm gonna do it.
(Garfield proceeds to do a sit-up with a chair and with great difficulty)
Garfield: (grunts) One. (gets up and walks away) Maybe one of these years, I'll try a push-up. All that exercise wore me out.
(Garfield sees Nermal sleeping in his bed)
Garfield: What is wrong with this picture? (points to Nermal in his bed) One moment please.
(comical instrumental music)
(Garfield comes back with a paper bag and blows into it, ready to pop it)
Garfield: Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to see the world high-jump record broken by a sleeping kitten.
(punches the bag and pops it, but no sound is heard)
(dreamy instrumental music)
Garfield: Where's the sound effect? Just a second.
(Garfield crumples up the bag and tosses it. Then he proceeds to try the bass drum; it doesn't emit a sound. Then he tries a trumpet, but no sound comes from that either.
Garfield: Something is wrong with our sound effects department.
(Garfield walks out of the living room and arrives at the sound effects booth)
Garfield: This is the sound effects department. They're responsible for all the noises you hear on the show. I'll knock.
(Garfield knocks, but no sound comes. He then opens the door and walks in)
(upbeat instrumental music)
Garfield: Hello? Anybody home?
(Garfield finds a letter attached to a chair and reads it)
Garfield: "Dear somebody, I quit. Got better offer doing sword noises for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Take your crummy job and...." Well, we don't have to read the rest of this. This is terrible. Where are we gonna find someone stupid enough to take the sound effects job?
(Odie appears)
Odie: Ta-daa!
Garfield: Does he know an Odie cue or what? (to Odie) Odie, do you know what a sound effects person does?
Odie: (excitedly nods his head) Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! (shakes his head) Uh-uh.
Garfield: Looks like I'll have to teach you. (shows Odie some tapes) These are tape cartridges with sounds on 'em. The sound effects man plays the tape to put sounds into the show. Listen to this. (inserts the tape into the machine) Do you know what this is?
Garfield presses a button and squishing sounds are heard)
Odie: (shakes his head) Mm-mm.
Garfield: That's the sound of Jon getting a Boston cream pie dumped on his head. Watch.
(presses a button and plays a video of Jon at a bakery)
Jon: (to a woman) Hi, there. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I'd like to know if you'll go out with me.
(Garfield presses the button on the machine as the pie is dumped by the woman onto Jon's head)
Garfield: (to Odie) See? You just have to hit the right button at the right moment. Now do you know what this is?
(presses another button and a splashing sound is heard)
Odie: (shakes his head) Uh-uh.
Garfield: The sound of Jon trying to get a date on a cruise ship.
(Garfield presses a button and plays another video)
Jon: (to a woman) Hi, there. You live around here?
(Garfield presses a button just as Jon falls off the ship into the water)
Garfield: (to Odie) See if you can recognize this sound.
(Garfield presses a button and whirring and clanging sounds are heard)
Odie: Uh, I don't know.
Garfield: That was the sound of a Melman-586 computer getting sick when asked to find a date for Jon.
(Garfield presses another button and plays another video)
Jon: (to a woman in the video) This is the first time I've tried computer dating.
Woman: Well, the computer will scan the roster of over 80,000 single, desperate women, and find the perfect one for you.
(The woman inserts Jon's information in the Melman-586 just as Garfield presses the button on his machine, creating the whirring and clanging, signifying the computer blowing up)
(A message is printed out of the Melman-586 and the woman reads it)
Woman: "No one is that desperate."
(Jon hits his face in disappointment)
Garfield: (to Odie) You see? It's just a matter of pressing the right button at the right moment. Think you can handle it, Pupper?
Odie: (barking excitedly)
Garfield: I hope I haven't made a mistake.
(Garfield walks out of the booth and returns to the house)
Garfield: I forgot my key. I'll ring the bell.
(Odie inserts a tape into the machine, presses a button just as Garfield rings the doorbell, but gunfire is heard instead)
Garfield: I'll try knocking.
(Garfield knocks twice, but whistle blowing is heard)
Garfield: I'll use the key.
(Garfield digs out the key from under the door mat, but when he opens the door, a cash register's ring is heard.)
(Garfield closes the door and squawking birds are heard with each step Garfield takes)
Garfield: Oh, boy. This is what you get when you hire someone who used to rent his brain out to model for raisins. Now where was I? Oh, I remember.
(Garfield comes next to his bed with Nermal still sleeping in it. He has another paper bag and blows into it, ready to pop it)
Garfield: Ready with the sound effect, Odie?
Odie: (barks excitedly and presses a button)
(Garfield pops the bag, but a train whistle is heard instead)
(Garfield uses his drum again, but cymbals are heard instead)
(Garfield then blows his trumpet again, but a telephone ring is heard instead)
Garfield: (frustrated) I've had enough of this!
(Garfield kicks his bed away, waking Nermal up instantly)
Nermal: Garfield! Why did you wake me up?! That wasn't very cute.
(Garfield rushes to Nermal)
Garfield: Stay out of my bed, Nermal, or it's the redeye to Abu Dhabi for you.
Nermal: Gee whiz, Garfield. You're so mean to me.
Garfield: It's in my job description. (reads his paper and shows it to Nermal) See? "Eating, sleeping, being mean to Nermal."
Nermal: You'll probably even be upset I ate all the lasagna in the kitchen.
Garfield: I don't care what you do. Just as long as you don't...You didn't!
(Garfield rushes into the kitchen with clattering sound effects, and comes out of there very angry; he knows that all the lasagna in the kitchen is eaten. He then approaches Nermal in a threatening way as Nermal nervously backs away)
Nermal: (stuttering) Garfield? Garfied, now don't do anything we'll both regret. Especially me!
(Garfield chases Nermal out of the house. The door closes and Garfield rams into it. He opens the door with a dazed expression before continuing the chase throughout the neighborhood as the clattering sounds continue)
(Tribal music)
(The traffic cop blows the whistle, but a chicken's clucking is heard instead)
(Odie presses buttons; we see him covered in reels and beginning to get nervous)
(Nermal and Garfield rush by)
Garfield: Sorry about the bad sound effects.
(Nermal arrives at the city zoo)
Nermal: I need a place to hide.
(Nermal dashes inside the entrance)
(Garfield looks for Nermal inside the zoo)
Garfield: He's around here somewhere. I wonder if Odie's still doing our sound effects?
(alarm clock rings as a tiger tries to roar at him)
Garfield: Yep. Odie is still doing our sound effects.
(Nermal pops out from a kangaroo's pouch as a frog's croak is heard)
(Garfield approaches the kangaroo and discovers Nermal's hiding place just as Nermal disappears back into the pouch)
Garfield: Excuse me while I play pickpocket.
(Odie is covered in more tape reels and begins to bark and whimper in nervousness as he desperately tries to see and play tapes with more sounds)
Garfield: (to the kangaroo) Excuse me, but I think you have something I need to mail somewhere.
(Garfield digs into the kangaroo's pouch and throws out three items).
Garfield: Let's see. Car keys, tissue, wallet....
(puts his paw on Nermal and digs him out by the back of his neck)
Garfield: Ah, here it is...little annoying thing.
(Odie whimpers in panic as the machine begins to overheat and he presses multiple buttons)
Nermal: (scared) Garfield, you're not really going to ship me overnight to Abu Dhabi?
Garfield: Of course not, Nermal. I'm gonna use two-day service. It's cheaper.
(an air raid siren shrieks and heavy blasts of artillery are heard)
Nermal: Garfield, we're under attack!
Garfield: You can have the kitten! Don't hurt me!
(Garfield puts Nermal down and begins to run away)
Nermal: Wait for me!
(Nermal runs after Garfield and subsequently, manages to get on his back for a ride as they both seek shelter in an alley and the blasts of artillery continues)
(a stampede of trumpeting elephants is now heard)
Nermal: We're trapped! (stuttering) And there's a herd of wild elephants coming this way! I can hear them!
(Garfield pushes Nermal toward the outside of the alley)
Garfield: You'll have to sacrifice yourself, Nermal! You'll....(realizes that there's no danger) Wait a minute. I'm forgetting who's doing our sound effects.
(Garfield starts to proceed out of the alley as the trumpeting and stampede of the elephants continue)
Nermal: Don't go out there, Garfield! The elephants will get you!
Garfield: There are no elephants. It's just Odie doing the sound effects. It's just dumb old Od....
(more trumpeting is heard as the herd of wild elephants is seen now stampeding on by and trample Garfield to the ground in the process)
(Garfield sits up as a worried Nermal and Odie come by to check on him.)
Garfield: Odie, you're fired. Nermal, you're disgusting.
(Nermal and Odie sadly walk away in opposite directions as Garfield goes away from the zoo and back to the studio)
Garfield: Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for this cartoon. We'll get a real sound effects person for the next one. I promise.
(he approaches a chicken)
Chicken: (barks in an Italian accent)
(Tribal music is heard as Garfield shakes his head and hits his face in shame. He also does his signature pose)
(episode ends)