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Transcript

(The episode begins with banjo music playing.)

Wade (voice-over): Hold it, HOLD IT! (reads the episode's title card) "Return of the Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster." Oh no!

(Fiddle is playing in the background. Wade appears shortly afterwards, running in terror.)

Wade: HELP! People, help-oh, HELP! (The screen shakes and mud splut is heard.) UNGH! (Wade has landed in Orson's mud puddle.)

Orson: Wade! I was fast asleep! (Orson lifts Wade by his legs.) It's before six o'clock! (Orson puts Wade on the ground, then he sits near Wade and checks his wrist watch.) Correction: It's ELEVEN FIFTEEN! Roy was supposed to wake everyone up at six A.M.!

Wade: Orson, look at how is this episode called... (Wade shows Orson the episode's title card.) It says "Return of the Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster." Do you know what that means, Orson?

Orson: Umm... It means "The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster is returning"?

Wade: Correct-amundo! BYE! (Wade flees.)

Orson: Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. (Orson leaves his puddle.) Well, I'll find why Roy isn't doing his wake-up job. (Orson heads to Roy's house. He stops after few steps.) Say, I wonder where The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster's been all these weeks.

(Orson resumes movement. The scenery changes to the forest. Banjo music is playing while the monster is walking in the woods.)

The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster: Emm... Two times two is... eleven. The capital of New George...is Disneyland. Ohh.. I mean... Euro Disneyland! (The monster approaches a wild rabbit sitting on a tree stump.) Hello! I know you. You are... A panther! (The rabbit becomes bored) Or maybe an ocelot. (The monster grabs the rabbit.) Either way, I'm gonna pet you! (The monster strokes the rabbit against his will.) And hug you! (The monster squeezes the rabbit.) Ehh...

Dr. Karloffis Boar: Robot! Vere are you, robot? (The monster looks behind. Dr. Boar is travelling in his hovering vehicle around the forest.) My instrument vill find the robot es somevhere... Neither.

The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster: That's the man that one assembled me. (The monster drops the rabbit.) And I'm not go back! (The monster flees.) I ain't going, not gonna go back.

Dr. Karloffis Boar: Please, come back... Pretty please! With 10W80 oil on it please?

(The scenery changes to the farm. Orson, who isn't wearing his night gown is strolling with Bo.)

Orson: (sighs) We wasted half a day sleeping when we could've been cleaning all this junk! (Orson points at a pile of various metal containers. Orson and Bo reach the barn, which is littered with gardening tools.) And we took all the tools out of the barn and we've gotta put 'em back! (Orson gestures angrily, then he continues walking) Somebody has to wash out all these old milk cans. (Orson and Bo pass a heap of old milk cans. They approach Roy's house.)

Bo: So, like how come Roy didn't wake us up at the crack of AM?

Orson: That is what I am trying to find out! (Orson turns to the Roy's coop and knocks the door angrily.) Roy, come out! I've got to talk to you.

(Roy opens the door and is still wearing his night gown.)

Orson: Roy, aren't you supposed to do the morning wake-up call?

Roy: Oh, that. I quit. (Roy slams the door)

Orson: QUIT?! You can't quit!

(Roy does not respond. The scenery changes to a glade near the forest. Dr. Boar is still looking for his monster.)

Dr. Karloffis Boar: Yoo-hoo! Monster! Come out! COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE! (A siren inside Dr. Boar's vehicle starts making noise. Karloffis stops his vehicle.) Haha! My monster sensor senses a senseless monster you see! (Dr. Boar turns his vehicle and rushes to the signal source. He stops at a tree surrounded by bushes, debuses and walks forwards. He approaches a lone tree stump.) YOU ARE IN THE TREE STUMP! Come out there instant! (A frightened Wade peeks from the stump.) You are not the Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster.

Wade: No, I'm the incredibly coward farm duck. (A bounce sound is heard.) *grins* But the monster will probably be at the Orson's farm sooner or later. See how is this episode about him!

Dr. Karloffis Boar: Danke schön! Danke schön. (Karloffis walks away in anger.)

Wade: *waves goodbye* (Dr. Boar heads to Orson's farm. The Monster peeks through the tree line.)

The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster: Doh... Maybe I'll hide at the farm? For a month or three days. (The Monster leaves the shelter.) I have to learn the multiplication table, this can be easy. (The monster stops and picks a flower.) One times one is... Twenty one! Hehehe... (The monster discards the flower and grabs another one.)Two times two is... Twenty two!

Dr. Karloffis Boar: *Manipulating a strange-looking speculum* Ahh... Dere he is! My monster! (Karloffis hides the speculum.)

The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster: *walks in circles* Ooh, I need to hide, I need to hide, oh hide! Ah, I know. I'll hide like an ostrich... And hide my head in the sand! (The monster hides his head in the soil. Karloffis approaches him.)

Dr. Karloffis Boar: Where did he run? Where did he run? He was right here a second ago. (Dr. Boar hovers away. The monster puts his head to the above ground level.)

The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster: Hehehe...

(Back at the farm, Orson keeps knocking the door to Roy's house. Bo is standing nearby.)

Orson: Roy, we have to talk. (Roy opens the door. He is wearing a towel and a bathing cap.)

Roy: Please allow me to bathe in peace.

Orson: Yeah but-(Roy slams the door.) Oh!

(Dr. Boar approaches Roy's house.)

Dr. Karloffis Boar: Where is my incredibly stupid swamp monster? Is he in there? (A pair of mechanical arms protrude from Dr. Boar's vehicle. Orson and Bo escape while the mechanical arms remove the roof from Roy's house.)

Roy: *singing in a bathtub* I've got the blues., I got the ring-around the bathtub. Brushing my back, bathtub blues... Ho, blueeee.... Ho, ho! Gee, I feel a draft. (Roy looks upstairs.) Yuck! My coop has flown the coop! (Roy approaches Dr. Boar.) Put my home back, Boar!

Orson: *enraged* WE DON'T HAVE YOUR SWAMP MONSTER!

Bo: Yeah, man! Like, leave us alone!

Dr. Karloffis Boar: If you do not return him, I'll destroy the farm! (Karloffis presses buttons on the console inside his vehicle.)

Roy: Destroy our farm?

Bo: Orson, you've got to do something, man!

Orson: What can I do!? It's gonna... (Orson thinks.) Eeh, you know, for a mad scientist, you're really not so bright.

Dr. Karloffis Boar: Ah? WHO ES NOT ZO BRIGHT!?

Orson: Well, don't you have an electromagnet on this thing?

Dr. Karloffis Boar: Hahah! I have one of da most poverful electromagnets in derrr world!

Orson: Great! Since you're trying to find a robot, why don't you just turn on the magnet and attract the robot?

Dr. Karloffis Boar: Aha, hehehe... Now indeed I did! (Dr. Boar turns the electromagnet on. Roy watches with concern as a mechanical arm lifts an electromagnet high above Dr. Boar's vehicle. Bo looks at it with amazement while Orson is smiling. The magnet spins around and emits an electromagnetic field. Junk, farm tools, and milk cans react to the field and are being attracted to its source. The monster is also affected by the field, but he resists to it by holding a tree.) I have a hunch it's vorking! (Orson flees.) Admit, things are coming my way. (Roy, Orson and Bo flee as metal objects from the entire farm pin Dr. Boar inside his vehicle down.) HELP! Help, get me out! (The junk pile moves as Dr. Boar is yelling for help.)

Orson: We'll help, if you promise to go away and leave the Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster alone!

Dr. Karloffis Boar: You swine! Do you... *mutters indistincively* Eh, I suppose I have no choice... (Roy, Bo, and Orson approach the metal object pile and dig Dr. Boar from beneath. He breaks from the pile and dashes away.) *mutters indistincively*

Bo: Like, it, there he goes!

Roy: I wonder where all swampy is. (The monster approaches the animals.)

The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster: Uh... Right here. he did not spot me on account of my very clever tree disguise. Ehehehe... (The monster kneels before Orson.) You are my friends. How do I thank you? (The monster grabs Orson and puts him back on the ground.) Oh God, I have a job here...

Orson: Roy, are you certain you won't do the morning wake up anymore?

Roy: Abso-lutively posselutevily! (Roy walks away.)

Orson: Okay. Swampy, how would you like Roy's job?

The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster: For me? A real job? (The monster claps his hands.) Ohohoho, oh boy oh boy!

Bo: Ors, are you sure about this?

Orson: What we have to lose?

(The day ends. It is night on the farm. The monster goes outside Roy's house.)

The Incredibly Stupid Swamp Monster: It's eleven A.M. in the morning! COOCK-A-DOODLE-DOOO-EEe..something or other.

Bo: Ors! (Bo, who is wearing his night gown and holding a lit candle, approaches Orson, who is sleeping on a tire inside his puddle.) The monster just gave the wake up call and it's only 2:37 man!

Orson: *yawns* He's still more accurate than Roy.

(Orson looks at his wrist watch and returns to sleep. The episode ends.)