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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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[The episode starts with Garfield is snoring while sleeping]
Jon: Garfield! Garfield! Garfield, could you come downstairs for a minute?
[Garfield is angrily awaken by Jon]
Garfield: No, I cannot come downstairs for a minute. I'm doing something more important. Sleeping.
Jon: It'll just take a minute, Garfield. Garfield! Well, I guess I'll have to resort to the secret weapon. [He whispers to Garfield] I just made lasagna.
Garfield: Lasagna? [Garfield excitedly gets out of his Jon’s bedroom and goes downstairs] Did someone say lasagna?
Jon: Oh. [Jon snaps a photo of Garfield using his camera] I'm sorry. I lied about the lasagna.
Garfield: Hey, some things in life are too important to kid around about.
Jon: I need a good photo of you.
Garfield: I don't care why you lied about lasagna. That's a felony in most states, you know?
Jon: I need the photo because I'm entering you in a contest on this TV show.
[Jon switches on the television]
Brandon Scoop: Do you have a pussycat? Are you a pussycat? Well, either way, you should know about the Positively Perfect Pussycat Pageant.
Garfield: Why would I care about winning this contest?
Brandon Scoop: First prize is ten tons of money.
Garfield: Okay. Question answered.
Brandon Scoop: If you have an adorable cat, send a photo to me, television's Brandon Scoop.
Jon: I'm going to go send your picture off, Garfield.
Garfield: Wow, ten tons of money. That could buy twenty tons of ribs. Hi, Odie.
[Odie looks behind while he was looking out the window]
Garfield: There's a contest to find the best-looking cat in the world. And you know who's gonna win?
[Odie answers Garfield by pointing to Nermal]
Nermal: Hi, Garfield! Can't talk to you now. I have to go mail in my entry to the Positively Perfect Pussycat Pageant.
Garfield: Yeah.
[Odies whines and Garfield snarls causing Odie to fall backwards]
Brandon Scoop: And here's your host, the hottest guy with the hottest news, Brandon Scoop!
Garfield: I'm not gonna win the contest. Nermal's gonna win the contest. Nermal always wins the contest.
Brandon Scoop: [responds to compliment about his beautiful appearance] …and so am I. Tonight on the show, we'll be featuring these hot stories… A new rock star released his first CD this morning. It was a hit by lunchtime, a golden oldie by dinner, and now, he's planning a comeback. Are there too many inside jokes on animated TV shows these days? Cartoonist Jim Davis says yes. And just why was the governor of this state photographed the other day wearing a zebra costume?
[Nermal watching the television from outside the TV 8000 store]
Brandon Scoop: All this and more on tonight's show.
Nermal: “This honor comes as such a surprise. I wasn't expecting it.” Nah, not sincere enough. "This honor comes as such a surprise! I wasn't expecting it!" Nah. Needs more fake modesty. "This honor comes as such a surprise. I wasn't expecting it…"
Brandon Scoop: But first, the winner of the Positively Perfect Pussycat Pageant. We received 27 million entries, and our judge personally studied every single one of them. And here is our judge, Mary Margaret Freen.
[Freen quivering on stage]
Brandon Scoop: Ms. Freen… [Causing Freen to be shocked] did you really study all 27 million photos?
Mary Margaret Fleen: [cuckoo sound] Yes! million cat photos! [cuckoo sound] Photos of cats. Black cats! Brown cats! [cuckoo sound] White cats! Do you know what it's like to look at 27 million photos of cats?
Brandon Scoop: No, I can't say that I do.
Mary Margaret Fleen: [hysterically speaking] I see cats everywhere I look now. There's one over there. And up there! And there's 9 thousand of them in my handbag! Screeching and meowing! [Fleen screams on stage]
Garfield: Ugh, would you just give it to Nermal and get it over with?
Brandon Scoop: And do you have a winner for us?
Mary Margaret Fleen: Here. This is the winner. [Fleen hands the card with the winner’s name to Scoop without looking at it] Now let me out of here. The cats are after me. The cats are after me! [Fleens screams and run out of the stage]
Brandon Scoop: And now for the moment you've all been waiting for, the winner of the contest and the ten tons of money…
Garfield: Nermal.
Brandon Scoop: is…
Nermal: Nermal.
Brandon Scoop: Garfield.
Garfield: Garfield. See? I told you it would be…
[Garfield and Nermal both became shocked at the outcome]
Brandon Scoop: That's right. The winner of the Positively Perfect Pussycat Pageant is a cat named Garfield, who belongs to a Mr. Jon Arbuckle. Garfield wins the ten tons of money.
Jon: You won, Garfield! You won!
Garfield: I won, Garfield! I won!
[all cheering inside the house and Nermal has a shocked reaction]
Brandon Scoop: So our congratulations to Garfield Cat and… Excuse me?
Mary Margaret Fleen: There's been a mistake. [Fleen whispers to Scoop]
Brandon Scoop: Really? Well, you're the judge. Ladies and gentlemen, there seems to have been an error. Garfield is not the winner. [The trio stops dancing to their winnings] The real winner is… Nermal!
Nermal: That contest is rigged. It's a stupid, fixed competition. I wouldn't take that crummy prize if they begged me. What! It's such an honor to win this wonderful, important award.
[The trio all sighing their disappointment]
Garfield: I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.
Brandon Scoop: So, Nermal is the winner, and Garfield is the first runner-up.
[Odie barks in dissapointment]
Jon: [sighs] I'm going to bed. Forever.
Brandon Scoop: If anything should happen to Nermal, say if he was disgraced, then Garfield would become the winner.
Garfield: Hear that, Odie? I've still got a chance.
Brandon Scoop: We turn now to our next item. The disgrace and resignation of Governor Throttlebottom.
Garfield: All we have to do is make sure Nermal disgraces himself. How do we do that? [Odie shakes his head and responds he is unsure] Hmm.
Brandon Scoop: Photographers who staked out the governor's mansion took this photo of him and posted it on the Internet. The public was shocked and outraged.
Woman 1: I am shocked and outraged.
Harvey: Oh yeah, I am very shocked and even more outraged.
Woman 2: He must resign immediately.
Brandon Scoop: The governor called a press conference and attempted to defend himself.
Mayor Grafton: I did not dress up in a zebra costume. I have never dressed up in a zebra costume. And I will never dress up in a zebra costume. Next question.
Man 1: Governor, is there any truth to the rumor that you sometimes dress up in a kangaroo suit?
Mayor Grafton: No, just in a zebra costume.
[The media crew were shocked when he explained the truth]
Brandon Scoop: Ten minutes later, he submitted his resignation.
[Garfield switches off the television]
Garfield: That's it, Odie. We just have to get a photo of Nermal that will bring disgrace upon him.
[Odie barks]
[Nermal humming and walking in town, while Garfield and Odie both spy on him taking a camera]
Garfield: It's simple. We wait until Nermal does…
[Odie whines]
Garfield: Huh? How long will that take? Not long. I know Nermal. He'll disgrace himself in a matter of minutes.
[Nermal leaps up to George]
Nermal: Hi, George. How about an autograph? Here ya go.
[Nermal offers him an autograph and leaps away]
George: Huh?
Garfield: Nope. Not disgraceful.
[Trixie is looking at the jewellery store from outside]
Nermal: Hi, I'm Nermal. And I just won a contest that says I'm the best looking cat in the world. Like that's not obvious.
Trixie: You don't look that cute to me.
Nermal: Well, first prize in this contest is ten tons of money.
Trixie: Oh! You know, you're starting to look cuter to me.
[Trixie holds Nermal’s hand and both start running together; Garfield and Odie pops out the fruit cart to spy on Nermal]
Garfield: Still not disgraceful. [Nermal is running towards the bank] We've been following him for four hours, and he hasn't done one disgraceful thing. A lot of things make decent people ill, but nothing disgraceful.
[The bank alarm sets off and Odies points at where the alarm sound is coming from]
Woman 3: Help! We're being robbed!
Garfield: Odie! The bank's being held up. And look who's doing it. Nermal. [Nermal is seen pulling out a bag of money from the bank] Nermal's robbing the bank! Robbing a bank. That's disgraceful. Now I need to get pictures of it. [Garfield starts to capture Nermal] Look this way, Nermal! Say cheese. [Garfield is laughing and snapping photos at the same time] This is disgraceful.
Security Guard: Good work, cat! You protected the money this dastardly bank robber dropped while trying to escape. I'm certain the new governor will want to give you a medal or name a holiday after you.
Nermal: Yay!
[Garfield sighs]
Security Guard: The newspapers will want those photos to show what a fine, non-disgraceful act this hero did. Good work.
Garfield: Ah! [starts growling and capture a photo]
[Garfield growls back after Nermal was grinning at him and Odie mutters to Garfield]
Garfield: I'll tell you what we're gonna do now. I didn't wanna resort to this, but we're gonna go see cousin Coslough. Nermal's cousin Coslough. If anyone knows a dark, forbidden secret of Nermal's, he's the one.
[The duo starts heading to Cousin Coslough]
[Coslough coughs]
Garfield: But he's your cousin.
Cousin Coslough: Don't remind me. Rotten kid. Always talking about how he's better than anybody. "I'm Nermal, the cutest kitty cat in the whole world." [coughing in disgust] Worse than the measles.
Garfield: You must know one real disgraceful thing about him.
Cousin Coslough: Oh, I know one alright. Most disgraceful thing you could ever imagine. Come here.
[Coslough whispers into Garfield’s ear]
Garfield: Oh, it's perfect. Perfect.
[Nermal takes a package he has been hiding in the alleyway while Garfield and Odie watches from above]
Garfield: That's where he keeps it. Let's see where he goes now.
[Odie nods his head yes]
[Nermal enters a room and starts open the package]
[Garfield kicks open the door of the room that Nermal is in and starts snapping photos of Nermal wearing a zebra costume]
Garfield: This is disgraceful. Absolutely disgraceful. So disgraceful!
Nermal: Hey, there's nothing wrong with dressing up like a zebra once in a while. I mean, lots of folks do it. Me, the governor, lots of folks.
[The television broadcast a photo of Nermal wearing a zebra costume]
Brandon Scoop: A shocking revelation about the winner of our Positively Perfect Pussycat Pageant. Caught on camera in a zebra costume, and the public is shocked and outraged.
Woman 1: I am shocked and outraged.
Harvey: It's like the governor, except this time, I'm not as outraged as I am shocked.
Woman 2: He must resign immediately.
Brandon Scoop: And only minutes ago, Nermal did indeed resign as winner of the… whatever the name of the contest is. Under our rules, first prize, including the ten tons of money, goes to… [Garfield walks to the stage] Garfield.
[Applause sound coming from the audience]
Brandon Scoop: Garfield! So, Garfield. I congratulate you on your victory and Nermal's disgrace, and now we'll present the ten tons of…
Mary Margaret Freen: [interrupts] Wait!
[The audience gasp and Freen running to the stage]
Mary Margaret Freen: There's been another mistake. It's those cats. They made me do it again. Everywhere I look, they're distracting me. Like that one and that one.
[Freen whispers into Scoop’s ear]
Brandon Scoop: So, Garfield isn't the actual runner-up?
Garfield: I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
Mary Margaret Freen: Here he is. Here's the real winner right here. [Freen points at a photo of Cousin Coslough on the card]
[Gasps coming from the audience and Jon watching the television]
Mary Margaret Freen: Isn't he the most beautiful cat you ever saw in your life?
[The audience cheers and applause at Coslough snarling his way to the stage; Freen picks up and hold Coslough]
Cousin Coslough: Just give me the money. [coughs]
[The audience cheers]
Nermal: Oh well. I still have my looks.
Garfield: Hi, Nermal. Sorry about the disgrace thing.
Nermal: It's okay. At least it's in the family.
Garfield: Could I ask you a question?
Nermal: Sure, go ahead.
[Garfield clears his throat]
Garfield: Where do I get one of those zebra costumes?
Nermal: Oh! There’s a guy who makes them in Hong Kong. You special order them though. It takes about eight weeks. You need to specify which direction you want the stripes to go, whether you want black on white or white on black. Plus, you have to make sure you order the measurements…
[The episode ends with Garfield talking to Nermal in town about how to purchase the zebra costumes.]
THE END