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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode begins one day outside Jon’s house. Odie is chasing a butterfly in the front yard)
Odie: Pants (He leaps at it, only to come up just short. Undiscouraged, he hears a car horn honk) Huh? (He gets back up and sees the mail truck roll up to their yard. He sprints back inside via the doggy door) Pants
(On his chair, Garfield wiggles his toes and tries putting himself to sleep)
Garfield: Sausage, black olives, Canadian bacon, extra sauce… (He opens his eyes and addresses the viewers) Other people put themselves to sleep by counting sheep. (He raises his finger) I count pizza toppings. (He taps his belly) Let’s see, pineapple, more sausage… (Odie’s footsteps can be heard as he runs up to his feline friend)
Odie: Bark! (Garfield snaps awake)
Garfield: Huh? (He looks over the edge of the chair and sees Odie behind him)
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: The mailman’s here? (He smiles)
Odie: Mm-hmm! (He nods, knowing how much Garfield enjoys tormenting the mailman) Pants
Garfield: Thanks for the alert, boy, (He returns to his seated position) but I've decided to take the afternoon off. No mailman annoying for me today. (He resumes counting pizza toppings) Extra cheese, extra EXTRA cheese, extra extra EXTRA cheese… (He closes his eyes)
(Outside, Herman Post is nervously preparing to deliver Jon’s mail while talking on the phone)
Herman Post: Yeah, that’s right, Agnes, the house with the cat. I’m delivering there now. If I (He trembles in fear) don't see you again remember I loved you. (He steps toward the door) Hold up, this is the dangerous part where I (He raises his finger) push the doorbell. (He pulls out a sort of pointer and uses it to push the doorbell) Pants
Jon: I’ll get it! (Jon goes to answer it. Odie watches, and Garfield does as well)
Odie: Hmm? Hmm…
Herman Post: Agnes, I may be OK. I hear Mr. Arbuckle coming. (He hangs up and gets Jon’s mail. Jon opens the door) Hello, Mr. Arbuckle. I have some letters for… (He pauses mid-sentence upon seeing Jon. He promptly screams, drops the letters, and flees) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (Jon is wearing white face paint with red on his lips, like a mime. He blinks, confused, and goes out to Herman, who has climbed halfway up a light pole) Mr. Arbuckle, what are you doing scaring me like that?! (Jon simply puts his palms together, bows, and gestures toward his house. Odie, who is beside him, is bewildered)
Odie: Hmm? Huh? (Looking for answers, he returns to Garfield)
Garfield: Oh?
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: Jon’s taken up mime.
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: You don’t know what mime is?
Odie: Mutters (He looks up at the ceiling, racking his doggy brain, but it comes up empty) Uh-uh. (He shakes his head no)
Garfield: I figured you wouldn’t. Here, I had them prepare this brief educational (He grabs the remote with his left paw) video (He turns on the TV. Odie leaps up, resting his paws on the right armrest and wagging his tail) to explain it. (He turns the TV on, and it plays a video of someone performing mime onstage. A female voice explains)
Narrator on TV: Mime is an ancient form of acting that does not use words or speech which dates back to ancient Greece in the 5th Century BC.
Odie: Uh-huh… (He nods, seemingly understanding more about it now. The mime on TV begins pulling on an invisible rope)
Narrator on TV: It is an art in which you convey your message through actions and expressions. A mime never speaks directly (The mime is “pulled” off-screen and then leaps back into view) to the audience. Instead, he or she relies on the power of imagination. (The mime bows and then collapses)
Odie: (understanding) Ahhh!
Garfield: Now, take a cue from Jon and don’t
Odie: Huh? (The pets look at each other)
Garfield: (continuing) say anything for the next week (He raises his finger) or two.
Odie: (nodding) Yeah! Yeah, yeah!
(Outside, Herman is clinging to the light post)
Herman Post: Let me guess, (He slides down and walks over to Jon) you got fed up with the cat and (He stops, putting his hands on his hips) are running away to join the circus. (Jon waves his hands no, and makes motions like he is pouring a drink and offering it to the mailman) What? (He scratches his head) Do I want a cup of coffee?
Jon: Yes! (He points at Herman) You got it exactly right! Oh man, I’m good! (He swings his fist in celebration) I’m really good! (He sets a hand on Herman’s shoulder) I’ve been taking mime classes for the last three months, and now, I'm testing my miming abilities on people.
Herman Post: Ah well, here’s your mail. (He hands an envelope to Jon, who returns inside. His pets greet him in the hallway)
Odie: Hums
Garfield: Is that a bill from the Prime Rib of the Month club? (He puts his paws on his hips) I don’t want us getting kicked out. (Jon opens the letter and reads it)
Jon: Ahem, “Dear Mr. Arbuckle, our mime school has elected you student of the year. (Both Garfield and Odie are shocked at this news)
Garfield and Odie (loosely translated): What?!
Jon: (continuing) “We’ve chosen you to represent us (The pets look at each other, Garfield especially looking flabbergasted) at the World Mime Championship (Cut back to Jon) that will take place in Paris, France, home of the greatest mimes of all time!” Garfield! Odie! (He tosses the letter and envelope away behind him and starts walking in place) I’m going to go to France and win this contest at the world’s greatest (He spins) mime! (He raises his fist)
Odie: Pants Bark! Bark!
Jon: And to really (He points at the pets) get in practice, I'm going to live my life in mime. I won’t say another word (He “closes” his mouth with his hand as if pulling a zipper across his lips) until the competition. (He twirls away and runs upstairs, making the “my lips are sealed” motion again halfway up to his pets, before continuing)
Odie: Pants (His tail wags)
Garfield: I’m not sure why, Odie, (The pup looks at his feline friend) but I have a feeling (He scratches his head) we’re in BIG trouble.
Odie: Doubting mutters
(Later on, Jon sits at his drawing table miming drawings on a piece of paper. He “picks it up”, and the cat and dog duo watch from just inside the doorway)
Odie: Huh? (Garfield turns to face the big-hearted beagle)
Garfield: He’s miming everything! He’s doing an imaginary drawing (They both look at Jon) with an imaginary pencil. (He taps his head) And guess what? (They both turn to leave) At the end of the week, Jon’s boss is gonna send him an imaginary paycheck. (It takes a second, but it sinks into Odie’s hollow head. He suddenly winces in fear)
Odie: Gasp! Mutters (He shakes his head in worry)
(Some time later, Jon mimes pulling dinner out of the oven)
Garfield: Now he’s making us an imaginary dinner.
Odie: Whimper (Jon goes to serve his pets said imaginary dinner. Garfield taps his fingers on the table) Pants
Garfield: Huh? (Both he and Odie look at the empty table) Oh, great. (He rests his head in his paw as Jon serves him up his fake slice) Imaginary lasagna again. (He pounds the table, furious) Oh! (Jon serves Odie, who puts his front paws on the table) We haven’t had a meal (Odie sniffs the air) with actual food in it for DAYS! (He grabs his head. Jon sits down, miming tying a napkin around his neck, grabbing silverware, cutting himself a bite of food, and eating it. He gives the Flabby Tabby a thumbs-up, while the cat looks like he’s about to snap) Groan… (He raises his paws in frustration) Does he think anyone would be stupid (He pounds the table) enough to go along with this? (Odie is stupid enough, as he slurps up the fake food)
Odie: Chewing noises (Garfield stares in disbelief at him before telling him off)
Garfield: Enough already! Scowl! (Jon finishes with his “meal”, and is immediately grabbed by Garfield) Grrrr! (He drags Jon into the hallway) Your cat is fed up with not being fed up! (He flings Jon onto his feet) Odie, (He gestures his paw, demanding something) give me the menu for Vito’s. (Odie trots up with the menu in his mouth. The Tubby Tabby swipes it and hands it to Jon)
Odie: Right!
Garfield: Here. (Jon looks at the menu and points at it. He then points to himself, and then the phone) That’s right. (He clenches his fist and points at the phone) Dial the phone. I’d do it myself, but I'm too weak from hunger. (Jon nods and dials Vito’s. The pets grin) Laughs (At the restaurant, Vito is quick to answer)
Vito: Vito’s pizzeria! Vito speaking, (Cut back to Jon) how may I help you? (Jon mouths the words for an order, but says nothing) Eh, hello? Is, uh, anyone there? (Garfield can only stand in horror at this development. He collapses onto the floor. Odie looks at him. Jon finishes his order, but Vito, hearing nothing, hangs up) I guess there’s no one there. (He puts the phone back, and so does Jon, who gives the pets a thumbs-up and skips off)
Garfield: Oh! Fortunately I planned for an emergency of this sort. (He raises his finger) Grunt! (He races away and returns with a recorder, grinning) Laughs
Odie: Huh? (He tilts his head, bewildered)
Garfield: A few months ago I recorded one of Jon’s BETTER orders. (He hops up onto the small table to reach the phone)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: Grunt! (He grabs it and redials Vito’s number)
Vito: (over the phone) Vito’s pizzeria! Vito speaking, how may I help you? (Garfield plays the recorder)
Jon: (over the recorder) Vito? This is Jon Arbuckle. (Odie leans forward toward his fat feline friend) Please send enough food to feed my cat.
Vito: Ah, signore Arbuckle! (Cut back to the pets) I will be right over as soon as I get hold of a large truck! Chuckles (He hangs up)
Garfield: Problem solved!
Odie: (impressed) Mmmm! (They both smile, undoubtedly excited)
(Later that night, Vito and his delivery boy arrive at Jon’s house in their truck. Jon is inside miming drinking a beverage. Garfield glares angrily at him from the chair, and Odie simply watches)
Garfield: Moan…
Odie: Whimpers (The doorbell rings twice)
Garfield and Odie: Huh? (Jon goes to answer it, and Vito and his delivery boy enter, each carrying a large stack of pizzas in their hands)
Vito: Bongiorno! (Garfield gives Odie a thumbs up)
Garfield: Heh.
Odie: Right!
Vito: Here is your bill, signore Arbuckle. (He shows Jon a bill that looks more like a scroll and hands it to him. The pets enter, skidding to a stop in front of their owner)
Garfield: Hurry, hurry! Pay him in large bills, it’s faster! (Jon mimes grabbing his wallet, taking some money out, and handing it to Vito, who is not pleased with this)
Vito: Uh! Grunt! (He glares at Jon. Garfield is horrified)
Garfield: He’s paying him in imaginary money! (He grabs his head. Odie looks at him, and he reaches for the pizzas)
Vito: Uh, please, signore Arbuckle, pay me for the food so I can get back to my ristorante. (Jon scratches his head, and then reaches into his other pocket to “pay a tip”)
Garfield: AAAHHHH! (All he can do is tremble in fear and worry) Whimpers
Vito: Is that (He points at his empty hand) supposed to be the tip? (Jon smiles goofily and nods. Vito, however, is having none of it) Grrrrrrr!
Odie: No!
Garfield: Cries (Both pets hang their heads, their one chance of getting fed shot down at the last moment. The delivery boy carries both stacks of pizzas back, and Vito storms out of the house. Jon and the pets watch from the doorway)
Vito: I do not know what kind of silly joke (He points at Jon) you’re playing, but Vito will not put up with it! If you do not pay, you do not get my wonderful food! (He turns his nose up at Jon and leaves)
Garfield: Oh! (Jon returns inside. Garfield races after Vito’s truck) Gasp! (Vito and his delivery boy take off) No wait! Wait! (He zips into the sidewalk, calling out to them) Can’t you take an imaginary credit card or something? (Odie trots up)
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: Moan! (He hangs his head mournfully and glances at Odie) If Jon doesn’t give up this mime stuff, he’s gonna have a couple of imaginary pets.
Odie: Sad mutters (He too hangs his head)
(Some time later, Jon is miming mowing the lawn. Garfield angrily glares at him from the window, resting his head on his paw. Odie soon pops up next to his feline friend)
Odie: Mutters (Jon grins at the viewers)
Garfield: Jon’s mowing the front lawn with an imaginary lawnmower.
Odie: Mutter (He looks confused, as if he thinks Jon has gone too far with his miming. An angry-looking Liz walks up to Jon, who quickly stops, startled by her when she speaks)
Liz: (pointing) There you are, Jon Arbuckle! Where have you been for the last two weeks? (She folds her arms) Why haven’t you been answering your phone? I keep calling here (She points at the ground) and someone answers, but no one ever SAYS anything. (Jon thinks for a moment, and then winces. He then gets an idea. Gesturing for Liz to wait, he takes off and returns with his letter from mime class. Liz takes it and reads it) Oh, student of the year? World mime championship? You’ve been studying mime? You’re going to France for this contest? (Jon nods) Well good luck. (He beams with pride. Liz turns the letter over) Who’s your partner? (This bit of news hits Jon like a cold shower. He shrugs, not knowing anything about this) Yeah, your partner. It says here, (She points at the letter) “All contestants must be duets.” (She holds up two fingers) Two mimes in a team. (Jon grabs his head, horrified) You didn’t read the back of the letter? (Wincing, Jon shakes his head no) You don’t have a partner? (He once again shakes his head no) And the contest is the day after tomorrow. (Jon hangs his head in shame just as his pets walk up) Where are you gonna find a partner who can do great mime? (Jon sees Garfield, who instantly knows what Jon wants, but does not like it in the slightest)
Garfield: Whimpers (Jon grins and clasps his hands together, begging Garfield to join him, but the cat is adamant. He shakes his head no) Oh no! Not me! (He points at himself with his thumb and wags his finger at Jon) Nooooooo chance! (He turns around, crossing his arms in defiance. Odie, meanwhile, is watching silently, wagging his tail) No way!
Liz: I don’t think Garfield wants to do it, and that’s too bad, huh? Would’ve been nice to win that big cash prize. (This piques Jon’s interest. He points his finger into his hand, as if writing an imaginary check) Yeah, big cash prize. I guess you didn’t read this part. It says, “The winner receives…” Gasp! Oh wow! That’s enough money to keep Garfield in lasagna for a year! (This piques Garfield’s interest)
Garfield: Doh! (He raises his finger. Jon leans on an imaginary object) Excuse me one moment please.
Odie: Mutters (Garfield races off and returns with mime face paint and more white paint on his paws. He pretends he’s trapped in an invisible box)
Liz: Looks like you’ve got yourself a partner. (She smiles, happy for Jon, who is himself nodding and grinning excitedly)
(A couple of days later is the big event, which is taking place in a theater in Paris, France. A couple of mimes are already on stage, crouched down in thinking poses in front of a trio of judges. The theater itself is completely empty, save for a pooch named Odie, who has a second-row seat)
Male Judge 1: Yawn! How long have they been like this?
Female Judge: Yawn! (She checks her watch) One hour and 37 minutes. Oh, what (She nudges the third judge, who was about to fall asleep) is the name of their act again? (The third judge reads)
Male Judge 2: “The meaning of life.” Yawn! Life is apparently very boring. (The two mimes stand up straight and bow. All three judges hold up signs reading, “000.” The mimes are horrified and are picked up and carried offstage by two ushers)
Female Judge: The next contestant is (She adjusts her glasses) Jon Arbuckle and his cat, Garfield.
Odie: Woo-hoo! Excited mutters
Female Judge: (continuing) To perform the famous “Mirror” sketch. (Odie bounces in his seat, excited for his friends’ performance. A large frame is rolled onto the stage, and Jon walks by it. Garfield does so as well, at the same time, as if Jon was walking past a mirror and his reflection was Garfield. Jon acts surprised, thinks for a minute, and holds his arm out in front of the frame, Garfield mirroring his every action and hand motion when in frame. Jon pauses and tries again, doing things like standing on one leg, moving like a chicken and looking sad. Garfield mimics him to a tee, pleasing the judges)
Judges: Laugh
Male Judge 2: That's by far the best act I've seen all day! (Jon races off, and then runs backwards, but his cat follows him)
Judges: Laugh (Odie is seen behind them, clutching his stomach in laughter)
Odie: Laughs (He rises in his chair, enjoying every minute of it. Jon and Garfield then pull out tissues from behind them, set them on their hands, and reveal a bouquet of flowers in Jon’s case and a plate of lasagna for Garfield, which he promptly tosses into his mouth. This infuriates Jon, and a chase between them ensues, circling the frame. The judges clap for them, and Odie does as well)
Male Judge 1: Bravo! That was brilliant!
Female Judge: (pointing up) The best I have ever seen!
Male Judge 2: (pointing up) Let us give them the trophy right now! (Jon and Garfield bow. Odie hops in his chair triumphantly celebrating)
Odie: Ta-da! Woo-hoo! Giggles (The female judge walks up to them on the stage)
Female Judge: Congratulations! You (She points at them) are the winner! (She points at the ceiling) The finest mimes in all the world! You shall receive the large cash prize! (Jon clenches his fists in anticipation)
Jon: Wow! Thanks a bunch!
Female Judge: (horrified) Gasp!
Male Judge 1: He… he spoke! (Behind him, Odie hangs his head, knowing the big cash prize has gone down the drain)
Odie: (disappointed) Awwww…
Male Judge 2: Contestants are not (He wags his fingers) allowed to speak! (The female judge leans toward Jon and Garfield, putting her hands on her hips)
Female Judge: The rules are quite strict! If you speak, and you did, (She wags her finger at them. Jon hangs his head and Garfield covers his eyes) you are disqualified!
Jon: (stuttering) D-D-D- (Garfield leaps up and covers Jon’s mouth) Disqualified?
Female Judge: No large cash prize for you. Ushers! Remove them from the stage at once! (She points at them, and the ushers arrive to take them away)
Jon: No! That’s not fair! (Garfield looks resigned to the fact that they’ve lost) I only spoke after the performance! That doesn’t count! I protest! I PROTEST!
Garfield: (To the viewers) When I need him to order pasta, he doesn’t say a word. (He grabs his head) NOW he talks.
(Jon and his pets return home afterwards. They all sit on a bench in the park, mourning their loss, when someone approaches)
Jon, Garfield, and Odie: Huh? (A mime twirls and performs in front of them. He removes his hat, asking for donations, but Jon and the pets are not in the mood)
Jon and Garfield: Oh, shut up! (Odie growls something to this extent as well, and the three of them leave. The mime puts his hat back on and shrugs to the viewers, confused, and the episode reaches its end)
THE END