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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode starts in Jon’s neighborhood. A trio of kids, dressed like a ghost, vampire, and Frankenstein’s monster walk up to Garfield’s house)
Kids: Laughing and chattering (They ring the doorbell. Inside, Garfield lies on his back in his bed in the living room when he hears the bell)
Garfield: Oh boy. (He addresses the audience) Not more trick-or-treaters. (He gets up and grabs a glass bowl of candy. He wiggles his fingers and helps himself to some as he slowly walks to the front door) There’s something I don't like about Halloween. (He eats some more candy) Maybe it’s giving perfectly good candy away to total strangers instead of ME eating it. (He opens the door)
Kids: Trick or treat!
Garfield: Chewing noises (He grabs a piece of candy from the bowl) Here’s one for you and one for you and one for you. (He acts like he’s dropping candy in each of their bags, but he just holds the candy in his paw before stepping back inside and slamming the door shut. The kids are surprised and sad, but Garfield reappears and grabs one piece of candy from each of the kids’ bags) Here’s one for me, and one for me, and one for me. Ooh, peppermint! (He tosses it and catches it in his mouth. He goes back inside and slams the door behind him)
(Back in the living room, Garfield brings the now empty jar back. Jon appears in the kitchen doorway)
Jon: Now make sure you don’t eat all the candy, Garfield. (The big cat sets the jar on the table and leans against it, still chewing candy) Leave some for the trick-or-treaters! Hey! (He points at the bowl) The bowl’s empty! The candy is all gone!
Garfield: Chewing noises Gee, I wonder where it all went. (He swallows)
Jon: I’d better go out and buy some more. (He heads outside)
Garfield: Ahem, first dinner, (He points at Jon) THEN you go out and buy some more. (The doorbell rings. Garfield looks down)
Jon: Ooh! More trick-or-treaters! Garfield, go get the door! (Garfield rolls his eyes, but complies with Jon’s request. He opens the door to see a boy dressed like a pirate and a girl dressed like a ballerina)
Girl: Trick or treat!
Boy: Or wash your feet! Chuckles
Garfield: Sorry, all out of candy. Come back next year. (He rudely slams the door in the kids’ faces. Jon watches from the stairs)
Jon: Garfield, that’s mean! Open the door (He points at the cat) and give them something we don’t need. (Should’ve phased that differently)
Odie: Yowl! (Garfield opens the door and holds Odie in his paws) Pants
Garfield: Here, we don’t need this. (Keep telling yourself that, Garfield. We all know you can’t imagine life without the pup)
Odie: Huh?! (Jon walks up to them)
Jon: Garfield, (He takes Odie from the Tubby Tabby’s paws) you can’t give Odie away. (Garfield swipes a piece of candy from the girl’s back, returns inside, and closes the door. The kids look at each other)
(In the living room, Jon holds a popcorn box filled with year-old taffy. Garfield walks up on the other side of the table)
Jon: Oh, the only candy we have left now is this old taffy (He points at it) you didn’t eat LAST Halloween. (He dumps it into the jar)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! (He hops excitedly in place)
Jon: Don’t touch any of it! (He points at Garfield)
Garfield: Hey, don’t worry. (Odie looks at the candy culprit)
Odie: Bark!
Garfield: There are some things in the world even I won’t eat, (Odie looks at the jar and wags his tail) and stale taffy is most of them. (He steps toward the TV) Sigh This is the night for free goodies! (He stops next to the TV. Odie trots up next to him) All I need is a costume.
Odie: Pants
Garfield (continuing) Let’s see now… Hey Odie, what do you think I should go as? (The pup retracts his tongue and gives his friend an answer)
Odie: Bark, bark, bark! (He trots away)
Garfield: (while facepalming) BESIDES an overweight pussycat. (He wipes his face off and steps closer to the TV. Odie–with the jab back at Garfield–stands by the chair panting) The scarier the costume, the more treats you get! (The puppy pulls his tongue back into his mouth) Now what could I dress as that would be really scary? (He turns on the TV, still pondering what to go as. The anchorwoman gives a report from the zoo)
Anchorwoman: I’m coming to you live from the zoo where visitors are FLOCKING to see what may well be the scariest creature we have out here. (Garfield turns around. The news report has piqued his interest)
Garfield: “Scariest”?
Anchorwoman: He’s Catzilla, (The camera zooms in on the caged animal) a rare and near descendant of the prehistoric saber-tooth tiger! (Catzilla grabs the bars and snarls) Everyone seems VERY afraid of him. (He swipes his claws menacingly)
Garfield: Which might mean they’ll give him lots and lots of candy! (He claps his hands together, an idea brewing in his mind)
(Later that night, a wolf howls, and Garfield is upstairs in the office working on his Catzilla costume. He starts off by applying black stripes to his arms, legs, and stomach)
Garfield: Jon won’t mind if I use his paint, and the reason he won’t mind, (He stokes the brush across his stomach) is he won’t know. (With the stripes on, he looks around the office for something else: saber teeth) Where’s that toy walrus Jon won at the carnival ring-toss game last year? (He passed it on his first scan of the room, but then turns back to it) Mind if I borrow these? (He grabs the toy and pulls the tusks out) Of course you don’t. You’re a toy. (He sticks them into his mouth, which makes talking a bit more hard to understand) Now I need to capture that savage Catzilla look! (He walks up to a full-length mirror to practice. He swipes his claws, but is unimpressed) Snarls No, no good. if I’m gonna look really mean, I'll have to think of something (He taps one of his saber teeth) to make me look really hostile! (He imagines Vito in the mirror holding a pizza)
Vito: Oh, I'm sorry, kitty cat, we have no more pepperoni for your pizza. How about some nice raisins? (He makes the OK sign with his hand)
Garfield: No. more hostile than that. (He then imagines an aerobics trainer in the mirror)
Aerobics Trainer: C’mon, Garfield! Let’s do some aerobic exercises, (Garfield actually starts to do so, holding his arms out and lifting his foot, but then he shakes his head in frustration) then we’ll eat nothing but lettuce for a month! (He turns away from the mirror and shakes his head)
Garfield: Not quite. (He faces the mirror again) It’s gotta be something to make me truly hostile! (He imagines Nermal in the mirror)
Nermal: Hiya, Garfield! (He waves) Yes, it’s me, Nermal. (Garfield gets more and more furious) I'm coming to live with you (Garfield starts to tremble angrily) AND I'm gonna sleep in your bed! (Garfield stomps)
Garfield: Hoo! That’s it! (He turns around, finally finding that inner hostility) Now, (He bares his claws) to the treats!
(Downstairs, Jon and Odie decide to watch some TV)
Jon: Hey, let’s see what’s on the news. (He turns on the TV and flops down in the chair. Odie prances in place excitedly)
Odie: Bark!
Anchorwoman: (on TV) Before we go, let’s take one last look at Catzilla. (The camera shows what’s on TV) We can’t get too close to this fierce beast because…(She turns around) where’s the fierce beast? (She glances around nervously) Where’s Catzilla? Oh!
Jon: Oh!
Odie: Bark! (He runs around the chair and leaps into Jon’s arms)
Anchorwoman: (on TV) He’s gone!
Odie: Whimpers (He trembles in fear)
Anchorwoman: (on TV) Catzilla has escaped! AAAAAAHHHHH! (She drops her microphone and runs out of view. The people behind her also scream and flee in every direction. One man knocks the fence down and upsets the camera, which gets a shot of Catzilla’s feet landing on the ground)
Jon: Whimper (He stands up, dropping Odie onto the floor) We’d better lock the doors! (He runs off to do that) We’re not far from the zoo! (Odie turns around and watches the newscast)
Odie: Gasp! (He hears Catzilla’s snarl) Whimpers (He covers his face with his paws, still trembling in fear)
(Garfield, however, is completely oblivious to all of this, as he is already outside attempting to get free candy from total strangers. He drags a sack along with him)
Garfield: Hope they have peanut brittle. Hope they have peanut brittle. Hope, hope, hope, hope, hope. (He approaches the first house, where a woman inside is already panicking from the news report)
Woman: Oh this is terrible! The beast is loose! Whimpers (Garfield rings the doorbell) Maybe I'd better warn the Trick-or-Treaters to get inside! (She opens the door) Oh, did you see the news, they said… (Before she can continue, Garfield does his Catzilla act and growls menacingly at her, showing off his fierce, triangular teeth)
Garfield: Roar!
Woman: AAAHHH! (Terrified, she retreats inside, tossing the bowl of candy in her hands into Garfield’s bag. He hops around and addresses the viewers)
Garfield: Pretty good. Hey, no peanut brittle. (He steps down the patio stairs and goes to the next house)
Woman: (on the phone) That’s right! Catzilla, he’s on the street! Oh, send help at once!
(At the next house, Harvey’s house, he answers and Garfield does this thing)
Garfield: Roar!
Harvey: AAHHH! Catzilla! (Much like the first house, he also tosses his candy into the air and hurries inside. Garfield catches the goodies in the bag)
Garfield: Ah, another good hall, but no peanut brittle. (Not to be denied, he heads off to try again)
Harvey: (on the phone) Of COURSE I recognized him! It was Catzilla, right here on my street!
(At another house, the same scenario plays out. This time it involves an elderly man)
Elderly ’s bag)
Garfield: (to the audience) What is it with these people? (He rolls his eyes) Don’t they know how popular peanut brittle is? (He leaves)
Elderly Man: (on the phone) It was Catzilla! I’m sure of it! I was just watching the TV news report of how he escaped from the zoo!
(Later that night, under a full moon, a wolf howls in the distance and Garfield lies in what looks like his yard giving a recap of his night)
Garfield: Let’s see, 23 houses, 23 bowls of candy, total amount of peanut brittle: zero. (The camera pans down from the moon to the cat as he says this. He gets up) Maybe I'll have better luck at the NEXT 23 houses. (He starts heading out, but can’t make it too far when a spotlight from a helicopter shines on him)
Policeman: There he is! Right there! (Garfield shields his eyes from the intense light and bolts)
Garfield: AAHH! (He runs into a small squad of officers)
Policeman: We have you surrounded! (Garfield looks around frantically. Despite being “surrounded”, he spots an escape route) He’s making a break for it! After him! (He races down the street)
Garfield: Whimpers (The cops chase him. A couple more cars with their lights flashing drive up and block his path. He screeches to a halt. Behind him, the officers are closing in, and the helicopter still has its spotlight on him. He backs up into his yard as more police reinforcements arrive. He tries to get away by leaping over the fence in his side yard)
Policeman: He’s hopping the fence! Get the light on him! (The 3 feet cat starts climbing over, even lifting his foot over it)
Garfield: Hey, do I tell everybody what YOU’RE up to?! (He stumbles over it, and the police forces follow. In the next yard, he frantically looks around for some cover) Hiding place! Hiding place! (He spots the shed and presses his back to it, standing on his toes to try to hide in plain sight. An officer investigates using a flashlight)
Policeman: No sight of him back here. (Garfield looks at him with wide, bulging eyes) When they catch him, they're gonna ship him off to a zoo in Siberia!
Garfield: Siberia? (He puts his paw to his head and turns to the audience) All I wanted was some peanut brittle. (He takes off) I have to get home! I’ll be safe there! (He runs out of the neighbor’s yard. He passes two narrow eyes hiding in a bush. It’s the real Catzilla, and he watches, Garfield run by)
Catzilla: Snarls
(Later, he has seemingly evaded the police and is making a break for home)
Garfield: Pants Almost there! Almost there! (He makes it home slides onto the front porch. He grabs the doorknob and tries forcing the door open, lifting his toes as he does, but Jon had already locked it when he heard about Catzilla getting loose. Realizing the door is locked, he decides to try a window. He grabs the sill and pulls himself up)
(Inside, Jon and Odie are still watching the news. Jon is sitting on the chair, biting his nails nervously and Odie is next to him on the floor)
Odie: Confused mutters
Anchorwoman: (on TV) We have reports that Catzilla has been sighted on the West side.
Odie: Worried mutters (His pupils get smaller, as he gets increasingly petrified. He looks at Jon, and Jon looks back)
Anchorwoman: (on TV) He is extremely dangerous (Jon and Odie resume watching) and everyone is warned to watch for him. (At that moment, Garfield appears in the back window)
Garfield: Pants Stammers (He waves for Odie. The pup sees him, but like everyone else, he assumes that Garfield is Catzilla)
Odie: Gasp! Yelp! (Jon looks at him, and sees Garfield in the window) Whimpers
Jon: “Yelp” is right!
Garfield: Chuckles (He points at the back door, hoping that Jon will unlock it for him. That, however, does not happen)
Jon: It’s Catzilla! (Garfield climbs down from the window and pounds on the front door again, trying to get it open. Jon calls the police from inside) Police, this is Jon Arbuckle! Catzilla is on my front porch! Hurry!
(Garfield runs around to the front again, but only makes it as far as the garage when he is grabbed by the arm by an officer, slammed into the garage, and apprehended by a total of five officers)
Officers: Overlapping chatter
Garfield: Hey! C’mon! (An officer carries the protesting pussycat as the latter kicks his feet furiously. Jon and Odie peek out the front door to watch) I'm registered! You can’t do that! Take your hands off me! I’m a registered cat! (Another officer opens the back of the jail truck and Garfield is tossed into it)
Policeman: Good work. (He pounds his fist into his hand) We’ll get him back to the zoo right away. (He points vaguely with his thumb and slams the door. Garfield grabs the bars and pulls himself up)
Garfield: You guys have it all wrong. I’m not Catzilla. (He points at his house) I live in there! (He sees a frightening sight)
Catzilla: Snickers (Unbeknownst to everyone except Garfield, the real Catzilla sneaks in the open door behind Jon and Odie)
Garfield: There! There’s Catzilla! See! There! (He points as he gets taken away) He’s sneaking into our house!
Jon: Whew! That was close! (Odie turns around)
Odie: (confidently) Mmm-hm! (He and Jon head inside)
Jon: Imagine the terror and the danger of having Catzilla in our home! (He closes the door, unaware of how true his statement is)
(As for Garfield, he is stuck behind bars. Zoo bars, that is. He clings to them like a prison inmate)
Garfield: Let me out! Get me an attorney! Get me an attorney named Murray! (The night janitor sweeps up in front of the cage) I’m not Catzilla! He’s in my house, about to chomp the puppy and the guy that cooks my lasagna! (He realizes his cries for help are falling on deaf ears. He tries devising a plan) I gotta get outta here! (He clenches his fists angrily. He looks around for an opening and spots one in the ceiling) It’s open at the top! Maybe if I climb out. (He leaps onto one of the bars) I can do it! Pants I can do it! (He doesn’t make it too far before falling and landing on his butt) YAAAHHH! I can’t do it. Maybe I can pry the bars open. (He wiggles his fingers and grabs two of the bars) Strains Pants (The first attempt is unsuccessful. He tries again) Strains (He puts his foot on the bar, but this try is as fruitless as the first) I give up. (He turns around) I’m not a superhero. I’m not a bodybuilder. I’m just a flabby, (He grabs his tummy and squeezes it) out of shape pussycat. (He flops helplessly onto the floor, but his last line gives him an idea) Hey, (He points up) I'm a flabby, out of shape pussycat. (As he says this, he takes the fake tusks out of his mouth, proving that he isn’t Catzilla. He then calls out to anyone who will listen) Yoo-hoo! Anybody! I shouldn’t be in here! Hello? (The janitor passes by and, to his surprise, notices Garfield without the tusks. He realizes the mistake that everyone made)
Zookeeper: You shouldn’t be in there! (He shakes his head) You’re not Catzilla, (He points at him) you’re a flabby out-of-shape pussycat!
Garfield: You noticed. (He taps his foot impatiently, waiting for the zookeeper to let him out)
Zookeeper: W-W-Where’s Catzilla?
Garfield: I know where Catzilla is! (The zookeeper unlocks the cage, letting Garfield free as the cat anxiously taps his leg, hoping to get home in a hurry) And I’ve gotta get home before he goes Trick-or-Treating with Odie and Jon as the treats! (He races home)
(Meanwhile, Jon and Odie are relaxing in their house, watching some TV. Jon holds a plate of fruit in his hand and takes a bite out of an apple. Suddenly, Catzilla appears on top of the chair. He is about to strike, when Jon says…)
Jon: Care for some fruit, Odie? (Catzilla pauses and spies the plate. He licks his lips and grabs the fruit with his sharp claws like skewers. He looks at them greedily as Jon feels the empty plate for some more fruit)
Catzilla: Laughs (He hops off the chair and runs away)
Jon: Gee, you were hungry. (Odie looks at him, and then vaguely to his right. Of course, he didn’t take the fruit, so he is understandably confused)
Odie: Huh?
Jon: I’ll get some more snacks. (He heads into the kitchen) Where is that light switch? (He feels around for it, unaware that Catzills is right next to him) Hey, how come the light switch is all furry?
Catzilla: Snarls (Jon finds the switch and turns the lights on. He sees the predator on the table in a crouching stance, as if ready to pounce) ROAR!
Jon: AHH! (He drops the plate and flees in terror) OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH! (Catzilla follows)
Catzilla: Snarl! Growls
Jon: Catzilla!
Odie: Whimpers (Behind them, Garfield bursts in, no longer wearing the black paint he used to look like Catzilla)
Garfield: Jon, Odie, Catzilla’s in the house! (The beast steps toward them)
Odie: Mutter (He gestures toward him with his paw. Garfield looks and sees Catzilla draw closer)
Garfield: Oh, you’ve noticed. Oh! AAAHHHHHHHH! (He hops on the door connecting the hallway and garage and pries it open. Odie is quick to follow)
Catzilla: Snarl! (He leaps at Jon, who ducks, causing Catzilla to crash in a heap)
Jon: Whimpers (He follows his pets and closes the door behind him. Garfield runs out of the garage into the kitchen with Odie on his tail)
Garfield: Whimpers Help! (He and Odie skid on the linoleum floor but regain their traction and race into the living room. Jon also slips, bangs his head on the drawer, but recovers fast enough to see Catzilla charging at him)
Catzilla: Snarl! (He runs at Jon, but just as before, he too slips on the slippery floor and crashes face first into the drawer. Jon is able to evade and follow his pets through the house)
Jon: Oh!
Garfield: AHHH-!
Odie: Whimpers (They run into the garage and back through the kitchen. Catzilla starts to follow, but screeches to a halt before he reaches the hallway)
Catzilla: Snarl! Pants (He realizes that they have been running in circles, and Jon’s scream behind him confirms it)
Jon: AAHHH!
Catzilla: Chuckle
Garfield: Whimpers Help! (Jon slips and bangs his head a couple of times as he and the cat and dog duo race out of the kitchen and into the living room. Catzilla appears from behind the garage-hallway door and blocks their path)
Catzilla: Meow! Snarl! (He steps toward the quivering trio)
Garfield: Maybe we can give him something to eat, like Jon’s car or something. (He spots the bowl of year-old taffy on the table, something so gross not even Garfield will eat it. He looks between the taffy and beast and then a light bulb goes off in his head) Wait! I know! (Catzilla doesn’t stop. Garfield tosses some taffy cubes in front of his puppy pal) Quick, Odie! Open up these wrappers of taffy! (He points at them)
Catzilla: Snarls (He gets closer and closer)
Garfield: Here, fella. Trick or treat! (He tosses the taffy at Catzilla. The beast catches them in his mouth)
Catzilla: Chewing noises Mmm! (After a few seconds of chewing, he struggles to open his mouth, effectively having it glued shut by the expired taffy. Garfield hops and walks on his toes toward him)
Garfield: Having trouble chewing, fella? (He wags his finger at him) Well I don't think you’ll be biting anyone for a while. (The police appear in the window behind Garfield, Jon, and Odie)
Policeman: There he is! (He points) There’s Catzilla! Be careful with him, men! (They presumably apprehend the real Catzilla and take him back to the zoo)
(The next day, presumably November 1, but I can’t tell because all the trees are still green, Jon and Garfield are at the zoo in front of Catzilla's cage. Jon talks with the zookeeper from the night before, who set Garfield free)
Jon: Bet you’re glad to have him back. (Catzilla snarls and growls, trying to get free)
Zookeeper: We sure are. (He checks his watch) Ooh, sorry! Feeding time! (Garfield smiles)
Garfield: Oh, when I'm around, (He rubs his tummy) it’s ALWAYS feeding time.
Zookeeper: The Catzilla has quite an appetite. (He pushes a cart filled with food in front of him)
Garfield: Laughs (He hops next to the cart to check out the bounty)
Zookeeper: Each meal is 10 steaks, 10 cans of salmon, (Garfield’s pupils get bigger and bigger) a roast beef, or two, a dozen lasagnas, and for dessert, (He clasps his hands together) and you might think this is odd, his favorite thing: peanut brittle!
Garfield: (longingly) Oh, that’s wonderful. Peanut brittle… (He clenches his fists) oh! What are we waiting for? It’s feeding time! (He zips away, and then appears in Catzilla’s cage, sitting at a table–a nice table complete with a candle centerpiece, and wine glasses–with a fork in one paw and a knife in the other, hoping to get in on that peanut brittle experience he so desperately longed for the night prior) Mind if I, uh, join you for dinner, Smiley? (Catzilla looks at him, confused. The Tubby Tabby grins and blinks at him as the episode wraps up)
THE END, and Happy Halloween!