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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode begins above Jon’s house. Garfield is lounging in his lawn chair and Odie is lying next to him while construction workers move back and forth from inside to their truck)
Garfield: (leaning forward and facing Odie) Jon’s had workers in the house all morning. Any idea what’s up, pup?
Odie: Uh-uh. (He raises and shakes his head no)
Garfield: Hm. (He hops up and heads inside. Odie follows suit) Jon doing something without me knowing about it, always trouble. (The pets watch as the construction guys leave)
Jon: (while waving good-bye) Great job, guys! Thanks! (His cat and dog approach) Garfield, wait ‘til you’ve seen what I’ve done! (Behind the pets, the construction workers drive their truck away)
Garfield: I hope it involves food.
Jon: Now it doesn’t involve food.
Garfield: Not interested. (The pets still head inside as Jon walks partially up the stairs)
Jon: C’mon up to my office and I'll introduce you to Millie.
Odie: Huh? (He turns to face Garfield)
Garfield: Millie? (He looks back at the pup)
(In the office, Jon sits at his computer. His fat feline walks up next to him on his right)
Jon: You’re gonna LOVE this, Garfield!
Garfield: (addressing the viewers) Probably not if it doesn’t involve food. (Jon presses a key on the keyboard. Odie pops up on his other flank, and an animated woman appears on Jon’s computer)
Millie: Hello, Jon Arbuckle. Welcome to Domestic Bliss, the #1 household monitoring software. My name is Mildred, but you can call me, Millie. (Alexa, Google, whatever smart device, this episode predicted the future)
Odie: Gasp! (The sound of birds chirping plays from the computer. While Odie is impressed, Garfield is not)
Garfield: Millie? Scoff. She’s awfully friendly for a computer-generated voice.
Millie: You are my master, Jon Arbuckle. I obey YOUR voice and none other.
Odie: Quiet mutter
Jon: OK, Millie,
Garfield: Scoff.
Jon: (continuing) show us the plan of the house here.
Millie: As you wish, Jon Arbuckle. (A plan of the house appears next to Millie on the computer)
Jon: This cost me thousands of dollars,
Garfield: Gasp!
Jon: (continuing) but I've had the entire house wired! Every light switch, every appliance, EVERYTHING, (Still unimpressed, Garfield’s eyes narrow)
Garfield: Exasperated sigh (He shakes his head)
Jon: (continuing) and it’s all connected to Millie here. I can give her a command from anywhere in the house and…
Garfield: Yawn!
Jon: Well, watch! Ahem, Millie, turn off the lights in this room and turn on the radio. (Millie salutes. The lights go off and the radio plays) Neat, huh?
Garfield: (speaking to the audience) Thrilling. Thousands of dollars so you don’t have to walk all the way over there (He gestures behind him with his thumb) and flip two switches. And people say I’M lazy? (He glares at the computer)
Jon: Alright, Millie, now turn the lights on and the radio off. (She does so) Thanks.
Odie: Mutter
Jon: (continuing) Now Millie, have the vacuum cleaner clean this room.
Millie: As you wish, Jon Arbuckle. (The vacuum starts up behind them)
Garfield: Huh? (He spins around and watches the vacuum do its thing) Wha-? (As it whirs, Odie–being a dog–backs away from it, only for it to push him into a corner, which only increases his fear and anxiety in that moment)
Odie: Terrified mutters (The petrified pooch escapes and flees, only for the vacuum to follow) Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (Jon and Garfield watch)
Jon: Millie, stop chasing Odie!
Millie: As you wish, Jon Arbuckle.
Odie: Whimpers (The vacuum then stops, and the pup flops on the floor. Garfield is still unimpressed)
Garfield: Millie is useless. (Jon looks at the complaining cat) Millie’s a waste of money.
Jon: (turning to Millie) Millie, turn on the oven in the kitchen and bake the lasagna I put inside.
Garfield: Millie is my best friend forever!
Millie: As you wish, Jon Arbuckle. (With that, Garfield runs out of the office with his arms up in the air)
Garfield: This is gotta see! (He bounds down the stairs and skids to a stop next to the oven)
Millie: Preheating oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. (The oven light turns on with an orange glow) Estimated baking time: one hour 17 minutes. (Garfield zips off and slides in front of the office doorway. He then walks up to Jon)
Garfield: At last, a little efficiency around here in the IMPORTANT matters.
Jon: Millie, lower my curtains, start my shower, and turn on the living room TV.
Millie: As you wish, Jon Arbuckle. (Those things happen one by one. First the curtains close, awakening Odie in the office)
Odie: Mutters (All the other curtains close around the house. The shower starts running, and the TV clicks on. Jon turns to his pets. Odie pants and wags his tail next to his friends)
Jon: Now, by the time I finish my shower, the lasagna will be ready and we can eat dinner as we watch TV! (The estimated time for the lasagna to bake is one hour and 17 minutes. That means that either Jon is going to take a really long shower, or Millie’s estimate is really, really bad. I’m going with the first option)
Garfield: Sounds like a plan. (He leaves)
Odie: Bark! (He trots after his feline friend)
Jon: Be back later, Millie!
Millie: As you wish, Jon Arbuckle. (Jon gets up and leaves, not hearing Millie’s next line) I love you, Jon Arbuckle. (A pixelated heart appears next to her)
(Later, Garfield is pacing circles around Odie in the kitchen, anxiously waiting for the lasagna to finish cooking)
Garfield: Grunts
Millie: Estimated time to lasagna: 12 minutes and nine seconds.
Garfield: Can’t you speed it up a little? (He looks down and rubs his growling tummy)
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: I know, I know, Jon has to finish his shower.
(Upstairs, Jon is scrubbing himself with a brush in the shower. By now, he’s been in there for over an hour)
Jon: Hums (Funnily enough, he seems to be humming the classic Wedding March by Mendelssohn. In the office, Millie shows a picture of her and Jon in wedding attire with little heart popping up around them, which is why Jon humming Wedding March seems so fitting for the scene)
Millie: Oh, Jon, we will be so happy together. (Jon is done with his shower and gives another request to Millie as he wears a towel around his waist)
Jon: Millie, I almost forgot, send an email to Liz. Tell her I'll be picking her up at 7:00 for our date tomorrow. (He leaves)
Millie: (angrily) Liz, hmm? Fine! “Dear Liz, (red warning lights flash on the screen) Jon will pick YOU up at 7:00.”
(Later that night, at storm clouds gather outside, Jon and his pets watch a romantic movie in the living room)
Wendell: (on TV) I don’t know what’s come over you, Cassie, just because I’m going to marry Helen. (Inside, Jon sits on Garfield’s chair with a plate of lasagna in his hand, Garfield lies on top of the headrest on his chair, and Odie sits next to them in front of a bowl of popcorn)
Cassie: (on TV) You never realized, did you, Wendell? You never realized how I loved you from afar.
Wendell: (nervously) Uh, no, I didn’t. (Jon bites a piece of lasagna as Garfield’s tail wags behind him)
Jon: Scoff. That’s silly. How could someone not realize that they’re being loved from afar?
Garfield: You’d have to be pretty stupid.
Jon: Hm. Let's watch something else. (He gets up and calls out to his computer. Garfield and Odie also look up) Uh, Millie, change to channel 4.
Millie: As you wish, (more hearts pop up around her) Jon, dear. (She quickly realizes her mistake and corrects herself) I mean, Jon Arbuckle.
Weatherman: This just in: (Jon sits back down) a mighty thunderstorm is going to hit our city just about…now!
Jon and Odie: Huh? (They look at each other. Outside, thunder roars and lightning crashes, terrifying the pooch)
Odie: Yowl! (He covers his eyes with his ears as the thunder and lightning continue)
Garfield, Jon, and Odie: YAAHHHH! (The pets leaps on their owner; Odie on his lap, and Garfield on the head)
Garfield: Boy, they’re accurate. (Thunder booms and a bolt of lightning hits the house, causing the lights to flicker)
Odie: Huh? (The electronics start to short-circuit. The oven, the refrigerator, even Millie’s computer get electrocuted. Millie herself grabs her head and spins around)
Jon: We got hit by lightning! (After the shock wears off, Millie recuperates upstairs)
Millie: All this power! (She and her surroundings change from blue to red) I feel like a new, uh, a new person! I’ve become a superior, almighty all-knowing being! Evil laughter Let there be light! (Anticlimactically, especially after the buildup shown from Millie’s power upgrade, the lights turn on downstairs…and nothing else happens)
Jon: Oh, great. The lights are back on. (He peeks around the corner connecting the hall and living room) Millie, did you do this?
Millie: I did it, (the camera shifts to the upstairs hallway, showing how loud and furious she is) and don’t call me Millie! (Even in the kitchen her voice rings loudly) My name is Mildred!
Garfield and Odie: Whimpering (Both pets sit on the chair trembling in fear)
Jon: (shouting upstairs to Millie) Wait a minute, this is my house! (He pauses to speak to the audience) Well, not quite my house, I still have a few years to go on my mortgage, (he shouts again) but it’s sotra my house!
Mildred: Not any more! The appliances I command shall drive you and your animals out of my house! Today, we will conquer this house, (Garfield hugs the back of Odie, both pets continue quivering) and tomorrow the neighborhood, (Jon also shakes in horror) and in two and a half weeks, the city…
Garfield: Whimpers
Mildred: (continuing) And then in three or four months, the country, (A toaster hops out of the kitchen) and then the ENTIRE PLANET! (An electric toothbrush and razor bounce down the stairs) Evil laughter (The toaster hops up to Jon and shoots a piece of toast at him. It hits him in the face)
Jon: Grunt. Huh? (He sees the toothbrush and razor, the former bounces up to him. Odie quickly hides behind the chair and Garfield tries to run)
Garfield: HEEEELP! (He trips over the toaster and falls flat in front of the razor. He gets up and avoids the razor for a moment. Jon grips the toothbrush and the toaster springs bread slices from out of nowhere) Hey, get away from me! I’m too young to shave! (The funny thing is, at the time of this episode, Garfield was a few days short of 33 years old, which should be an appropriate age to shave. Odie, who is still hiding behind the chair, covers his eyes with his ears and trembles. He peeks out and sees the terrifying chaos)
Odie: Whimpers (Garfield screeches in front of him)
Garfield: AH! No! (Odie hides himself again. The razor is still focused on Garfield, despite Odie also having fur. Offscreen, the razor chases the fat cat) Stop it! Stop it! Leave me alone! (A buzzing sound can be heard. Odie takes a few glances at his friend) Ah! No! Help! Help! No! Stop! (The buzzing sound ends. Garfield slides back into view bald from head to toe. He covers himself up and grins sheepishly at the viewers) Chuckles
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: Don’t worry, this is a cartoon. In the next shot, I'll have all my fur back.
Odie: Huh? (Jon passes by them, flat on the floor, as the toothbrush…brushes his teeth)
Jon: Gargling (The shot switches to Jon for a moment, and then back to Garfield, who has all of his fur back. He looks at his tummy and paw)
Garfield: See? All back!
Odie: Huh? (Garfield looks determined as he sees his owner struggling with the toothbrush)
Garfield: Fur-bulous. (He stands on top of Jon and the pair wrestle the brush out of the human’s mouth)
(Upstairs, Mildred is still furious)
Mildred: You can’t defeat me, Jon Arbuckle! You will PAY for what you did to me! (The computer screen zooms in on her angry eyes)
(Downstairs, lights flash and the house shakes)
Garfield: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(A projector hops out of the garage through the kitchen. Other appliances, including the oven, the fridge, the blender, and even a washing machine, follow. They slowly hop into the living room. The projector shines its light on Jon and the pets like a spotlight)
Jon: Gasp! My appliances!
Garfield: YAH!
Jon: (continuing) They’re ganging up on me!
Garfield: (to the audience) Time to call in help! (He holds his pointer finger up, looks down and grabs something on the floor. He hands it to Jon, who reads it)
Jon: “Is your computer messing with you? Call Webster the computer geek.” Good thinking, Garfield! I’ll go get the phone! (He zips away)
Garfield: Gasp! (The appliances slowly move closer. Jon runs past his pets)
Jon: Help! The phone’s trying to get me! (The phone chases him back and forth, ringing as it does. Odie sets his front paws on the arm of the chair to get a better view)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: Gasp! Sigh. (He slowly shakes his head)
(Later that night, the pets wait outside on the welcome mat)
Odie: Bark! Bark! (He sees Jon’s car, with him and Webster inside. They pull up and park in the driveway, get out of the car, and walk up to the door)
Webster: Uh, you could’ve phoned me, Mr. Arbuckle.
Jon: No, I COULDN’T have, but I explained all that in the car. You’re a computer geek. Save me from my computer!
(Jon lifts the pet door and looks inside. A red light flashes and electricity charges from inside. The computer geek does the same)
Webster: Oh, man! I’ve heard about this phenomenon before, (Everyone gathers inside) but I've never seen it. It’s the, uh, rogue motherboard syndrome or something like that, but I can get rid of it!
Mildred: Not if I get rid of YOU first! (The appliances bang their way into the hallway, the projector shining a light on them)
Garfield: Whimpers
Jon: Whimper YAAAHHHHH! (Everyone hurries upstairs. They hide in Jon’s office with the oven, fridge, and hair dryer following. The humans block the door with the couch, and the appliances bang on it) That’s it!
Odie: Huh? (He and his feline friend look up at the computer with worried looks on their faces)
Jon: (continuing) That’s my computer that has taken over the whole house!
Webster: (after adjusting his glasses) You know, even the greatest minds on Earth have been able to come up with a solution to this rogue motherboard syndrome. Tomorrow we’ll be obeying blenders and can openers… (Garfield forcefully shoves Webster in front of the computer)
Garfield: Hey, you’re the computer geek. You fix it! (He points at him)
Webster: Maybe if I reboot the save mode and purge the registry. (He starts clacking on the keyboard, but Mildred interrupts him)
Mildred: Too late, geek! (With that, the washing machine breaks the door down)
Jon: AAHHHH!
Garfield: Timberrrrrrrr! (The door lands directly on him)
Jon: Huh?! (He steps over and opens the door) Oh. (Garfield stands up, his top half resembling a pancake)
Garfield: As I said, this is a cartoon. I’ll be back to normal in a sec. (He points)
(The washing machine and fridge bang their way into the office, cornering them)
Jon: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (They watch helplessly as the appliances draw closer. One by one they scream) AAAAAAHHHH!
Odie: YAAHHHH! (When the camera shifts to Garfield, it has to lower since his head is still much flatter than normal)
Garfield: (To the audience) Well, so much for the cartoon theory. (The hair dryer blows in Odie’s face)
Odie: Bark! (Terrified, he flees the area, but not the room) Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (Mildred watches and grins sinisterly)
Jon: AAAAAHHHHH!
Odie: Howl!
Garfield: Whimpers AAAAAHHHHHHH!
Mildred: (pointing) You should’ve left the house when you could, you fools! Now you’re ALL going to perish!
Jon: Webster, (He leaps into the geek’s arms) do something!
Webster: There’s nothing I can do! Even the greatest computer geniuses in the world couldn’t stop her! (The appliances slowly trudge forward. Garfield backs away, covering his head with his paws, preparing for the worst)
Garfield: Whimpers
Mildred: Evil laugh (She points forward as the hair dryer continues chasing Odie around the office)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!
Mildred: Evil laughter You will all (At that moment, Odie accidentally trips over the computer’s power cord. It instantly shuts off) die…
Garfield: Whimpers Oh… (The appliances stop moving, and he stops trembling)
Jon: Huh? What happened?
Garfield: The greatest computer geniuses in the world couldn’t stop her, (Jon and Webster peek out from behind the fridge. Garfield holds up the plug) but a puppy with the IQ of a hockey puck tripped over the solution. (He looks down at the heroic hound, who is still flat on his stomach on the floor. Odie is still a little confused as to what he did)
Odie: Huh?
(Later, the computer police take Jon’s computer away)
Jon: Everything seems to be back to normal.
Webster: The computer police are taking your computer away. (After he says this, a police officer carries the computer–which is now in chains–to his cruiser)
Computer Policeman: You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you on the internet!
Webster: So, Mr. Arbuckle, can I sell you a new computer? (Jon’s pets stand on either side of their owner and help give Webster an answer)
Jon and Garfield: NO!
Garfield: Scowl! (He shoots a few pieces of toast from the toaster at him. Webster runs off)
(Some time later–possibly the next morning–a few cars and pedestrians pass the house as Jon works in his office)
Jon: I’ll get a new computer someday, but for now, (The camera reveals a typewriter on his desk) this will do. (Garfield and Odie relax on the couch in the office)
Garfield: Chuckles
Odie: What’s that?
Garfield: It’s called a typewriter, Odie. (Odie looks at Garfield, who slumps back onto his pillow) People used them in the previous century and they have some advantages, (Odie sniffs at Garfield) they don’t use expensive software, don’t have viruses, don’t have to be upgraded every six minutes, and they keep you off the internet. They’re perfect, except for one thing.
Odie: Confused mutter
Garfield: (sadly) They don’t make lasagna. (He looks down. They also don't allow someone to watch Garfield cartoons)
Odie: Aww…
Garfield: I know. (Even though a typewriter cannot make lasagna, Jon and the pets are safe thanks to Odie’s clumsiness, and the episode comes to an end)
THE END