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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode begins with a fish swimming in a pet store aquarium. All is well until it sees something scary)
Fish: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (Three hungry cats, Harry, Lucky, and Myron from left to right, eye it from outside the window)
Cats: Laugh (The fish jumps out and lands on the edge of the tank. The cats smile, thinking they’re about to get a bite)
Fish: Grrr! (It grabs the ring on the blinds and closes it, surprising the trio of felines)
Cats: Wow! Hey! Moan… (They all hang their heads dejectedly. A person and child sprint past behind them)
Lucky: Guys, (He looks at Myron, and then Harry) you know what I really miss? A succulent, tasty mouse!
Myron: Oh!
Harry: Mmm! (He licks his lips) Yeah! (He taps his belly with his fingers) It’s been too long since I've had ME a good mouse.
Myron: You guys eat mice?
Harry: Sure! (Both he and Lucky turn to Myron) Don’t you?
Myron: Uh… no. (He ponders for a second) I've never eaten a mouse. (Harry points accusingly at him. Lucky also glares)
Harry: And you call yourself a cat?! (He points at himself with his thumb. Lucky turns) I’ve eaten HUNDREDS of mice!
Lucky: (pointing at himself) I’ve eaten THOUSANDS of mice! (They glare at each other, but Myron breaks them up before they can get into the millions)
Myron: Guys, guys, so how come you’re not eating mice?
Lucky: You seen any mice around lately?
Harry: (pointing vaguely) They’re all over at Garfield’s house. (He leads Lucky and Myron there)
Lucky: Garfield, another non-mouse eater.
Myron: Hey Lucky,
Lucky: Huh?
Myron: (continuing) why doesn’t Garfield eat mice?
Lucky: Two reasons: one, (He holds up one finger) they’re his friends…
Harry: And B, (He holds up two fingers) mice don’t taste like lasagna.
Cats: Laugh That’s a good one!
(Inside Garfield’s house, the mice are having the time of their lives. With Jon not around, three of them hop onto each other’s shoulders in the living room and scurry over to the TV)
Mice: Giggle (The mouse on top turns the TV on, and a fourth bounces off the chair and joins the stack. Two more race over to the kitchen where Garfield is leaving with a plateful of cheese. Before he can deliver it, though, he slips on a can, dropping the cheese everywhere and landing with a crash)
Garfield: Whoa! Moan… (The mice gather up the spilled cheese, the last piece being Squeak’s)
Mice: Laugh
Squeak: Oh, thanks, Garfield. (He shouts to his rodent friends) Hey guys, save a hunk for Biff!
Garfield: Huh? (He gets up) Biff? (He dusts himself off) Who’s Biff?
Squeak: He’s my best pal from mouse school! He was the puniest, skinniest mouse in the class. He’s coming to visit today. I haven’t seen him in years! (The sound of whistling not far away catches Garfield by surprise, and instantly puts him and Squeak in a panic)
Garfield: Gasp!
Squeak: Uh-oh!
Garfield: Oh! (He has a terrified expression on his face. Odie bounds in via the hallway)
Odie: Bark! Barkbarkbark! (He points his paw toward the basement)
Humphrey: That’s Jon’s whistle!
Mice: Gasp!
Squeak: Everybody hide! (The mice scream and panic as they quickly look for places to hide. They choose any available place: in the fireplace, in bowls, behind the sofa, behind and inside the drawer, behind a vase, and behind Garfield’s chair. Squeak notices the fat one struggling to squeeze himself under the chair, so he puts a bowl over him and hides himself in a bag of–presumably–chips on the chair. He is just in time before Jon walks in)
Jon: Whistles (He looks around) You know, Garfield, (He puts his hand to his chin) I've been noticing the fine job (He gives Garfield a thumbs-up) you’ve been doing of keeping the house free from mice.
Garfield: Whimper (He sees two mice scamper past Jon. Odie sees them too, watching them split in the hallway, but luckily for them, Jon does not)
Jon: It’s such a comfort for me to know that you’ll keep it that way while I'm out of town. (The fat mouse hidden under the bowl hurries off, taking the bowl with him. Odie strolls toward Garfield, sticking his nose up in a superior manner)
Odie: Snickers (He stifles most of his laughter, but Garfield is not amused. He simply glares at the pup)
Garfield: Hmm… (A mouse pokes its head out of the fireplace) AAHHH! (He quickly steps in front of the mouse, hiding it from Jon, and grins, trying to act nonchalant) Laughs
Jon: I’m glad because I don't want (He wags his finger at Garfield) to take away your lasagna privileges. (Garfield hangs his head)
Garfield: Jon says that (He steps toward Odie, raising his paw as if whispering. Odie raises his ear to listen) if he ever sees a mouse in this place, it’s no lasagna (Odie winces) for a year!
Odie: Saddened mutters (Garfield throws his face into his paws, as if he were crying)
Garfield: No!
Jon: Well, I think I'm all packed! Hums (He spots the bag of chips on the armrest) Oh, (He grabs the bag) maybe I should take along some snacks in my suitcase. (He takes the bag with him. The pets grin, happy that their friends are safe)
Garfield and Odie: Chuckle (Jon takes the bag upstairs, into his bedroom, and tosses it into the open suitcase on the dresser, unaware that Squeak is still inside. The mouse pokes his head out of the bag, but it is too late. Jon slams the suitcase shut, unaware that Squeak is inside)
Squeak: Oof!
(Downstairs, the mice emerge from hiding and flock around the pets)
Mice: Laugh (A new mouse walks in from the kitchen. This mouse–Biff–is so muscular that he must have worked out every day since Squeak saw him last)
Biff: Anyone know where Squeak is? I’m his friend, Biff.
Garfield: (surprised) Biff?
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (continuing) Squeak’s skinny, puny pal from mouse school?
Biff: That was before (He points at himself) I learned the value of working out! (He flexes) Now I'm the strongest mouse in the world! (He strikes a pose. Several mice gather around to admire his jacked physique. Odie’s ear twitches, his keen hearing catching something)
Odie: Huh? (He gets Garfield’s attention)
Garfield: Huh? (Odie points his paw toward the hallway and gives a couple distress barks)
Odie: Barkbark!
Garfield: Jon’s coming! (He waves his arms in a panic) Everybody hide! (The mice scatter, except for Biff, which does not help Garfield’s anxiety) Biff, I said, “Hide!”
Biff: I’m not afraid of any humans!
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (panicked) No, but I'm afraid (He looks over toward the hallway, making sure Jon is not there) of going without lasagna for a year! (Jon calls out to his pets)
Jon: Odie, Garfield, (He descends the stairs, carrying his suitcase) I'm leaving. See you in a few days.
Garfield: Doh! (Thinking quickly, he sits on Biff, surprising Odie and infuriating Biff)
Odie: Mutter
Biff: (muffled) Hey! Get-!
Garfield: Chuckle (He and Odie both grin nervously)
Jon: And remember, Garfield, this house (He points at the floor) must stay mouse-free!
Squeak: (muffled) Help! Somebody! Anybody?
Garfield: (nervously) Chuckles (He and the pup nod)
Odie: Yeah, yeah! (Biff tries to lift Garfield off of him, and is somewhat successful)
Garfield: Oh! Oh! (He sits down harder, and Biff is obscured once more) Grunt! Chuckles (Jon leaves for his trip, and the mice appear from their hiding spots, exhaling a sigh of relief) Oh! (Biff lifts Garfield up. Odie looks at him in a panic) Whoaaaaaaaaaa! (He is thrown against a wall as if he was a stuffed animal. Odie looks away, and several mice gather around Biff)
Odie: Moan (A female mouse runs up)
Female Mouse: Hey, Biff! You’re cute! Welcome to the party! (Biff, however, is in no mood to socialize)
Biff: (miffed) Look at you all! You’re a disgrace! (He looks at the mice, now lined up in front of him with Humphrey on the left and the fat mouse eating cheese on the right) You’re fat and flabby and out of shape! (The mouse next to the fat mouse nudges the fat mouse, silently telling him to put the cheese away) And you’re eating junk! (He storms over to the rotund rodent) This cheese isn’t even organic! (He grabs it and tosses it away) Where’s Squeak?! (Garfield, who is now lying sideways on the easy chair, catches the cheese Biff threw)
Garfield: Oh, he’s somewhere around. (He eats the cheese) Squeak! (He sits up) Oh Squeak! Squ-eeeeeak?
Biff: I’m not leaving until I see my buddy Squeak, and until I whip this sorry bunch of rodents into shape! (Garfield climbs over the arm of the chair and hops onto the floor. Biff’s voice booms so much it shakes the camera) YOU’RE ALL GOING TO WORK OUT! ALL OF YOU!! IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!?
Mice: (overlapping) Yeah. Yes.
Biff: I can’t hear you! (He puts a paw to his ear)
Mice: Yes, sir! (They stand at attention, as if soldiers in front of a drill sergeant)
Biff: Alright, (He stand in front of them) fall in line! Now march! (He points toward the kitchen. Humphrey starts jogging toward it, and the rest of the mice follow) Hup, two, three, four! (Garfield watches, his face filled with horror. Odie strolls out of the kitchen, wincing in fear seeing the jogging mice) Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!
Garfield: I hope (Odie looks up at him) he gets them in shape before Jon (Odie nods in agreement) gets back. Odie, put that large, cold nose (He points at his nose) of yours to some use. (Cut to Odie, who gets a determined look) Find Squeak! (Odie begins sniffing the air, searching for Squeak’s scent)
Odie: Sniff!
(The mice continue exercising. Biff watches from the top of the TV)
Biff: Two, three, four! (Four more mice are doing push-ups on the table) Knees up! Shoulders back! (Odie searches the living room with his powerful sniffer) Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four! (Garfield runs out from behind his chair)
Garfield: Squeak’s gotta be around here someplace! (He looks under an upside-down bowl)
(Cut to a plane flying in the sky)
Squeak: (muffled) Can somebody please (Cut to inside the plane, where Jon is sitting in an aisle seat with his suitcase next to him and Jim Davis behind him. The luggage shakes, Squeak begging to be let free) let me out? Hm, what’s he got in here? (The camera zooms in on the suitcase) Razor, socks, toothbrush, polka-dot shorts? Jon wears polka-dot shorts?!
(Back at the house, Biff makes the mice do push-ups)
Biff: Up, down! (He marches in front of them) Up, down! Up, down! Keep those arms straight! (Irvcollapses in exhaustion, but Biff lords over him) Here, I’ll show ya how yo do a proper push-up. (He gets on all fours, in a push-up stance) Like this. (He starts doing push-ups quickly) Huah! (He does one-handed push-ups) Now, you, try about a thousand!
Irv: Uh, Biff, I kinda…
Biff: (interrupting and pointing) A thousand push-ups! NOW!
Irv: Uh, yessir! Yessir! (He struggles to lift his body off the ground) Strains
Biff: One!
Irv: Strains
Biff: Two! (He stomps the ground hard)
Irv: Strains
Biff: Two and a half…! (Humphrey can’t do any more and he cries out)
Irv: Moan! (Biff storms away. Garfield had been watching from the hallway the entire time, hiding behind the wall. He turns around, and sees Odie running up to him)
Garfield: Any sign of Squeak?
Odie: Mm-mm. (He shakes his head no)
Garfield: Gasp! Oh!
Biff: Hup, two, three, four! Hup!
Garfield: Well keep looking! He may be the only one (Odie nods, looking more determined than ever) to get his friend outta here!
Odie: Right! (He splits, racing upstairs, while Garfield opens the basement door)
Garfield: Squeak! Where are you? (He looks in Jon’s slipper and shakes it out) Squeak?
(Meanwhile, Jon has reached his destination: Mexico. He carries his suitcase over to the bed in his hotel room and sets it down on it)
Jon: Hums (He opens the case, but gets a phone call before he can unpack) Oh! (He goes to answer it) Oh hi, Liz. (Squeak pops up inside the case, a cracker in his paw) No, I just checked in and came up to my room. (Liz speaks in incoherent phone talk) No, I'm having dinner later with that publisher. Fortunately, I packed some snacks in my suitcase. (With Jon distracted, Squeak makes a break for the open window, climbs onto the windowsill, and escapes) In fact, hold on, let me get one. (He grabs the bag of snacks he brought) Hm, that’s funny. (He shakes out the now empty bag) I was SURE I packed a whole bag of crackers and nuts. (Squeak slides down a wall to the ground)
Squeak: OK, so I'm out. (He looks around) The question is, where am I? (Everything is so unfamiliar to him. He races into the camera, and then toward a mouse taking a siesta on a stool underneath someone else, who is also sleeping on a stool) Pants Excuse me. (The Mexican mouse wakes up with a jolt)
Mexican Mouse: Caramba!
Squeak: Sorry to wake you up buddy, but, could you tell me where I am?
Mexican Mouse: Sigh. This is Mexico, mi amigo. You (He points at Squeak) interrupted my siesta. Go away, por favor. (Squeak stares at the audience with wide, terror-filled eyes)
Squeak: Mexico?! Oh no! I gotta get home! (He takes off toward a post office, signified by the envelope sign) Pants (He hops onto a chair and then onto the counter. With the employees’ backs to him, he grabs a pencil and writes Jon’s address on the side of an empty package. He gets himself into it) Grunts (He tiptoes over to a cart of outgoing mail that a mail carrier was taking and hops into it, going unnoticed by anyone) This is a TERRIBLE way to travel! (He pokes his head out of the top) No wonder Nermal doesn’t like it. (He ducks back in)
(A week later, Biff oversees the mice lifting cheese barbells, doing push-ups, sprints, and jumping jacks)
Mice: Strain! (Garfield watches in stunned silence from the hall. Odie trots up to him)
Garfield: Hmm… Odie,
Odie: Hm?
Garfield: (continuing) it’s been a WEEK and no sign of Squeak anywhere!
Odie: Whimpers (He gets a sad look in his eyes)
Garfield: Oh, man! Jon comes home today, and Squeak’s the only one that can convince that muscle-brained mouse to get out of the house! (He and Odie walk together through the living room, between the many mice working out) He’s turned this place into a rodent health spa! This morning, I found him using my bed for a trampoline. We’ve gotta get this gym and him outta here before Jon gets home! (He stops, and he and Odie exchange concerned looks. Biff, however, sees no problem with staying)
Biff: Here, guys. (The pets turn to the muscular mouse, standing on the arm of the easy chair) Pass these fliers out to every mouse for miles around. (He hands a mouse a stack of fliers, and the mouse races off, causing Garfield to lift his foot out of the way)
Garfield: Yelp! (Using his claws, he takes a flier and reads it. It has a picture of a ripped mouse front and center and two scrawny dazed cats on the bottom corners) “Get strong at Biff’s mouse gym.” (He and Odie glare at Biff, the latter baring his teeth and trembling angrily) You have to stop this and get outta here, pronto! Immediately if not quicker!
Biff: I’m not stopping now. Can you see what I'm accomplishing? (He hops off the chair) Mice makes right!
Garfield: Oh? (Biff turns the TV on with the remote. Garfield and Odie race over to watch)
Anchorwoman: Panic is growing (The news station is on) all around the city. Normally meek and harmless mice are asserting themselves. (The TV shows an ordinary house) This morning, our town’s top exterminator was ruthlessly thrown out of a house by what appears to be a mouse (The mouse dusts its paws off after throwing the exterminator out) with a black belt. (The mouse delivers a roundhouse kick to the camera, transitioning back to the anchorwoman) Brace yourselves for the worst, folks. Mice are starting to take over the city. (Several mice run into the frame, scaring the newscaster) AAAAHHHHHH! (She takes off)
Mice: (mockingly) Giggle (Garfield and Odie turn around, nervous looks in their faces)
Odie: Awwww…
Garfield: Biff, please! Jon’s plane gets in any minute now! (Odie looks at him) If he finds mice here when he gets home…
Biff: I’m not leaving, (He points at himself and shakes his head no) and I’m ESPECIALLY not leaving until I see my pal, Squeak! I hope he’s alright. (He clenches his fist) Maybe some CAT got him. (Garfield looks even more worried)
Odie: Hmm? (Behind them, Lucky and Harry peek in through the window)
Lucky and Harry: Cackle (Myron joins them)
Harry: Wow! It’s like a BUFFET in there! (The three cats disappear from sight as Biff and some other mice lift cheese barbells. Some other mice do push-ups, and Garfield is on his hands and knees, pleading. Odie wags his tail)
Garfield: Please! I can’t make it through a whole year without lasagna. I can’t make it through a long reality show without lasagna!
(Back outside…)
Myron: This will be the first time I've ever eaten a mouse. What do they taste like? (This catches the other two by surprise)
Harry and Lucky: (confused) Overlapping chatter
Myron: (slightly annoyed) But you guys HAVE eaten mice, right?
Harry and Lucky: Overlapping affirmative chatter
Myron: Well then, c’mon! I can’t wait to eat a mouse! (He takes off for the pet door. Harry and Lucky wince, worried)
(Myron pokes his head in through the pet door, and spots the female mouse and Irv talking on the kitchen table and chair, respectively)
Female Mouse: Hey Irv, (Myron smiles hungrily) why so glum? Working out is GOOD for you.
Irv: I’m still worried about Squeak. It's not like him to abandon us. What if there’s an emergency?
Female Mouse: What kind of emergency? (The two of them are snatched up by Myron)
Female Mouse and Irv: AAHHHH! Whimper (They are tossed to Lucky and Harry, respectively)
Irv: Like getting caught by a bunch of mangy, hungry cats!
Female Mouse and Irv: Help! Help! Help!
(In the living room, Biff and the pets hear their cries for help)
Garfield and Odie: Huh? (Biff rolls the barbell over to Garfield and goes to investigate. Back in the kitchen, Harry and Lucky stare uneasily at the mice)
Myron: What are you waiting for? (The other two cats smile nervously) I thought you LOVED eating mice. (He puts his paw to his chin, growing suspicious of their claim)
Lucky: Oh, I do, uhhh… but I’ll be polite. I’ll let Harry (He glances over to Harry) go first.
Harry: (shaking his head) No, no, no, I wouldn’t think of it. (He glares at Lucky, who in turn gives him a worried look) You first, Lucky. (Biff stomps into the kitchen doorway)
Biff: Mouse eater! Oh no, maybe one of those cats ate Squeak! (He storms over to them)
Lucky: I ate a mouse just the other day.
Harry: Hey! (He sees Biff picking him up by the heel)
Biff: Did you eat my friend Squeak? (He shakes him)
Harry: WHOAAAAAAAA! (He drops the mouse, who is caught in Biff’s free arm)
Female Mouse: Oh! (She runs off, and Biff tosses Harry away like a football)
Harry: Ow! Ow! (He lands with a crash)
Lucky and Myron: Whimper (They quake in fear)
Biff: (pointing) Did you eat my friend, Squeak?! (Lucky drops the mouse as Biff, somewhat literally, begins mopping the floor with him) Did you eat my friend, Squeak?! (Irv races to join the other mice, Garfield, and Odie in the kitchen doorway. The pets watch in stunned silence)
Lucky and Myron: Overlapping chatter (They circle the kitchen, fleeing Biff, but something at the front door captures Garfield’s attention. He checks it out)
Biff: Did you eat my friend, Squeak?! (Another crash, and Biff has Myron’s leg pinned behind him) Did you eat my friend, Squeak?!
Myron: No! Honest! AAAHHHH! I’ve never eaten a mouse in my life!
Lucky: Whimpers (He tries running, but Biff holds him by the tail)
Biff: Did you eat my friend, Squeak?!
Lucky: No! (He shakes his head and waves his paws) I never ate a mouse, either! I never had the guts! (Biff throws him away, too) Whoa-ho-ho!
Biff: Grrrr! (He glares at Myron, who is backing away and waving his paws, as if begging for mercy)
(Cut to Garfield, who is in the hallway, answering the door as the doorbell rings three times. Off-screen, Biff makes short work of Myron, with loud crashing and smashing coming from the kitchen. Garfield answers the door and grins at a trembling Herman Post, who has a small rectangular package in his hands. Herman waves his arms in fright, dropping the package, and takes off down the street)
Herman Post: YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (Garfield catches the parcel in his paw)
Garfield: I wonder what’s in here. (The box shakes, and Garfield winces in fear)
Squeak: Whimpers (Squeak pops out of the top) I am! (Never has Garfield been so happy to see his rodent friend)
Garfield: Ooh! Squeak!! Squeak, just in time! You gotta help me get your friend Biff (He points vaguely with his thumb) outta here! (Harry is launched out the open door, causing Garfield to duck)
Harry: YOWL! (He lies on his belly on the sidewalk leading to the house) Ow! (Lucky is ejected out the window)
Lucky: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (He lands with a crash, and Myron, after a few punches land, is flung through the chimney)
Myron: YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He too lands with a crash, making Garfield wince in pain) Moan… (Lucky clings to a lamppost, Myron sits on a trash can, and Harry is lying on the sidewalk. Biff appears in the windowsill)
Biff: If I ever catch ANY of you even TASTING a mouse!
Squeak: (waving) Biff! Biff! (Biff’s fury turns to tranquility)
Biff: Oh, you’re OK, my friend. (He hops onto the ground and hugs Squeak, after he hopped out of the box)
Squeak: Laughs We’ll have the big reunion later. Right now, you gotta DO something for me! (Biff sets him down)
Biff: For you, anything. (Garfield and the mice return to the house, Biff slamming the door behind them)
Cats: Moan… (Jon rolls up, parks in his driveway, gets out of the car, and grabs his suitcase from the trunk. He heads inside, paying the cats no mind)
Myron: I don’t get it. (He sits up) Neither of you ever (Harry stands upright) really ate a mouse?
Harry: Well, uh… (He sheepishly has no answer)
Lucky: Not a real mouse. (He lets go and falls to the ground with a clang)
(Inside, the pets and mice are gathered in the living room)
Jon: Garfield, Odie! I’m home!
Garfield: Whimpers (He quickly ushers the mice to hide, and they do so as Jon enters the living room)
Jon: And I'm glad to see the house is as free of mice as I left it.
Garfield: Oh, it is! (Odie nods in agreement) It is! (He grins, and Jon leaves, presumably to go unpack)
Jon: Hums
Garfield: (relieved) Whew! (Squeak and Biff emerge from the fireplace) Oh, thanks, guys! (Odie wags his tail again)
Squeak: You are very welcome.
Biff: You know, Garfield, (He points) you could stand to lose a few pounds yourself. You outta exercise.
Garfield: OK, I'll work out vigorously
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (continuing) until the end of this episode. (He gets a look from Odie, but then slips on a cheese barbell) YAAHHH! (He lands with a thud) Ouch! Oohhh… (He is dazed, his eyes spinning, and Odie and the mice gather around him)
Odie: Bark! Bark!
Garfield: (slightly miffed) Ooooh! (He pulls out a remote from behind his back and presses a button on it, ending the episode for the audience)
THE END