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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode begins one night at Jon's house. From inside, the sound of a woman screaming is heard)
Audrey: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! (Inside, Garfield, Odie, and Jon are watching an old black-and-white horror movie. Jon sits on the chair, Garfield is on the right arm of the armchair eating popcorn and Odie is on the floor to their left)
Odie: Fearful mutters (He and Jon tremble in fear–the pup hiding behind his ears–while Garfield eats popcorn)
Greg: (on TV) It won't do you any good to scream, Audrey. (Cut to the TV, where Greg talks to Audrey) No one can hear you.
Jon: Get out of the house, Audrey. Get out of the house while you still can! (Odie hides his eyes again)
Garfield: She's on TV, she can't hear you. (He pops some more popcorn into his mouth and speaks to the viewers) And by the way, I'm on TV, and I can't hear you either. (He places his paw behind his head, but suddenly hears some ominous breathing) I heard that. (Cut to the scared Audrey on the TV.)
Audrey: But I saw a ghost, Greg. (The camera pans away from the TV back to Garfield with the scared Odie and Jon)
Greg: Chuckles You couldn't possibly have seen a ghost. (Odie raises one ear, peeking at the TV)
Garfield: I know how horror movies work. She'll be safe until she asks, "How can you be sure?".
Audrey: I trust you, Greg. But how can you be sure?
Garfield: Here it comes. (Jon and Odie are still quaking with fear. Odie hides behind his ears once again)
Greg: Because... I'm the only ghost... here! (And sure enough, as Greg says that, his physical appearance transforms into a completely transparent appearance, making it clear that he is, indeed, a ghost) Cackles evilly
Audrey and Jon: AAHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHH! (Jon covers his eyes. Audrey runs for her life down the halls, with Greg sending floating furniture after her. In the living room, Garfield throws away his finished popcorn bucket and decides to help himself to Jon's popcorn. He licks his lips hungrily)
Garfield: (pointing up) I love to watch horror movies with Jon and Odie. They never touch their popcorn. (He takes a piece of popcorn and throws it into his mouth. Jon uncovers his eyes, now more scared than ever, and grabs the remote)
Jon: I can't watch another second of this! (He shuts his eyes again as he looks away and clicks on the remote)
Audrey: AAAAAHHHH! (Jon switches the station to a cute bouncing food cartoon)
Jon: Phew. (He wipes the sweat from his brow. Odie is also relieved) I hate ghost stories. They terrify me.
Garfield: Nothing scares me. (He gestures to himself and raises his finger) Except maybe anchovies on pizza. Shutters (But unbeknownst to any of them, their neighbor, the mad scientist kid Nathan pops his head up in the window)
Nathan: Cackles Oh, something will scare you, cat. Something's gonna scare you real good. Laughs evilly
(The sun rises on the next morning. Garfield runs into the kitchen with a plate of ham slices. He hops onto the kitchen chair and sets the plate down on the table. His teddy bear Pooky is sitting on the chair next to him)
Garfield: Chuckle Now, Pooky, (He points at the stuffed bear) while Jon's away, I'm gonna teach you how to make (He holds his finger up) the perfect sandwich. (He makes the OK sign with both paws) The secret (He raises his finger) lies in two (He holds up two fingers) essential points: quantity, (He counts that on his finger and wiggles his fingers) and more importantly... (He begins to build his sandwich) quantity. (When he finishes, he holds up his tall Dagwood-like stack of a sandwich) A true work of art, wouldn't you agree, Pooky? (He is surprised to see that Pooky is gone) Oh! (He looks under the table) Pooky? (He is not under there) Odd. (The Flabby Tabby sets his sandwich down on the plate on the table) I would've sworn Pooky was sitting next to me. (He hops off the chair and runs into the living room) Pants Ah! (He quickly finds him sitting on the couch and reaches toward him) How did you get over here? (He runs up to Pooky, holds him, and smiles. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, someone invisible pushes the chair aside, and starts eating Garfield's sandwich from the top down. The sandwich practically despawns like bodies in an FPS game. Garfield returns to the kitchen, and seeing the lack of sandwiches, he is horrified) YAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! (He hops up on the chair to take a better look) My sandwich! (He zips off the chair as Odie comes into the kitchen through the doggy door) Odie!
Odie: Huh? (The Tubby Tabby zips up to Odie and points at him accusingly)
Garfield: Bad dog! You ate my sandwich! (His eyes narrow. Odie, however, has a puzzled look before suddenly realizing the bus he is being thrown under)
Odie: Gasp! Nyuh-uh! (He adamantly shakes his head no and glares back at Garfield for accusing him so blatantly)
Garfield: Come on. You're here, (He points at the pup) and the sandwich isn't. (He points at the floor) Therefore, you ate it, and I'll prove it. (He walks up to Odie and opens his mouth) There will be crumbs (He grabs Odie’s tongue for further inspection) and residues of ham, (He looks deeply into Odie’s mouth, his voice echoing off the inside of Odie’s mouth) cheese, tomato, pastrami... Hey, that's weird. (He comes out of Odie's mouth) Not a single trace of food. (He scratches his head. Odie licks his lips) Oh! (He waves his paw in front of his nose) But you could use a mint. (Odie scowls at Garfield, clearly offended)
Odie: Huh?! (His eyes narrow. Garfield taps his chin, wondering where his sandwich went)
Garfield: So, if you didn't eat the sandwich, who did? (Odie thinks for a brief moment)
Odie: (loosely translated) I don’t know. (He then comes up with a notion. He runs offscreen and comes back, pretending to be a ghost by wearing a white bedsheet) Spooky moaning (He tiptoes around Garfield.)
Garfield: Huh? Oh? A ghost? You think we're being haunted by a ghost? (Odie zips offscreen and then comes back, no longer wearing the bedsheet)
Odie: Right! (He nods at Garfield. Garfield knocks on Odie’s head; resulting in hollow metal clangs)
Garfield: As usual. Empty. (He holds his finger up and both pets wander into the living room. Odie is now on his hind legs) Listen, pup, ghosts only exist in movies and TV shows. (Funny thing is, Garfield acknowledged that he is on a TV show earlier this episode. Nonetheless, the vase on the fireplace suddenly begins to float in mid-air) They don't exist in the real world. (Odie becomes scared, and frantically points it out to Garfield. The cat looks and sees the vase) Yelp! (The ghost chucks the vase directly at the pets, who manage to dodge the vase, which hits the wall and shatters on impact. They look at the vase's shattered remains) Oh… (Garfield hears another noise. Behind them, the ghost had made its way into the kitchen. It opens the cupboard and pulls a plate out)
Garfield and Odie: YAAAHHHH! (The plate gets flung at Garfield and Odie–a literal definition of a flying saucer. The two pets duck from the plate, which breaks against the wall. The ghost then throws more dishes–namely plates and mugs–into the living room. Garfield and Odie frantically take cover behind the armchair)
Garfield: Whimpers Heeeeeelp! Odie! (He raises his finger) Remember a moment ago, I said, "This is no time to panic"? (He actually didn't say that)
Odie: Mm-hmm. (He nods yes)
Garfield: That wasn't! This is! (He and Odie flee the house to escape the reckless ghost's path) YAAAHHHHH! (They take a moment to catch their breath, leaning against the fence)
Garfield and Odie: Pant
Garfield: Moan… (They turn around and see random pieces of furniture being thrown out through the door, starting with a chair) I never cared much for that chair. (It chucks the end table out, and it breaks) I can do without that (He points at it) table. (Then, the ghost flings the TV out)
Garfield: (unfazed and shaking his head) And we don't need– (It suddenly dawns on him that the TV is being thrown out, and he becomes horrified) No!
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (continuing) Not the TV! (Garfield races to save the TV)
Odie: Mutters (He is horrified. Everything becomes slo-mo for a short time)
Garfield: (distorted) Oh no...
Odie: Whimpers (He covers his eyes. Garfield leaps with his arms out to catch the TV. Odie uncovers his eyes and sees Garfield catching the TV without it breaking and the speed being returned to normal. While the TV is unscathed, one cannot say the same for the Flabby Tabby’s fingers, which got crushed by the magic looky-box)
Garfield: Ow! (He screams in pain) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! (The big-hearted beagle runs up to give Garfield a paw, but the fat cat has already gotten the TV right-side up. Odie grins, and Garfield shakes his injured fingers) Phew! Boy, that was close! (He strokes the TV and smiles) What would I ever do without you? (As he caresses the TV, he and Odie hear a loud crash. Inside, the ghost had completely made a mess of the living room: knocked over furniture, a pile of books, and spilled popcorn. They examine the mess as they carry the TV back in) You think I know how to make a mess? This guy knows how to make a mess. (They set the TV back in its place)
Odie: Wow! Mutters (Garfield glares angrily)
Garfield: Ugh... (He runs next to the end table) Hey, ghost! I know you're here! (He points vaguely. The ghost removes a picture frame from off the wall) You mean homewrecking spineless spook! (Returning to Garfield…) You don't scare me! (The ghost tosses the picture frame at Garfield, and it breaks through his head. Odie winces in pain, and Garfield–now with the picture frame stuck on his head–is a bit dazed) Okay, ghost. No need to get angry, I get the picture. (Literally. Just then, Garfield and Odie hear the ghost laughing evilly) I know that laugh. Where did I hear that laugh (He taps his foot) before? (Jon then returns home)
Jon: Garfield! Odie! I'm home!
Garfield: Yelp! (He and Odie are horrified, fearing that Jon is going to see the mess. But when Jon walks into the living room...)
Jon: I'm going to fix myself a snack, and go right to my office and go to work. (he leaves, barely noticing the mess)
Garfield: He didn't notice.
Jon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! (The pets flinch)
Garfield: He noticed. (Jon re-enters the room in a fluster of shocked and furious emotions)
Jon: (stammering) What did you do? I mean-- I, uh-- How... How could you?! (Odie shakes his head no)
Garfield: Hey we didn’t do this! I’ve been framed! (In more ways than one, as he still has the picture frame around his neck. Odie advocates for them and explains what happened in a way that Jon can understand)
Odie: Bark! (He raises his finger) Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (He runs off and returns wearing the bedsheet from earlier, showing to Jon that it was a ghost that did this) Bark! (He begins howling and making ghostly sounds) Ooooooh! Sputters (He disappears and returns without the sheet) Ta-da!
Jon: What? Are you trying to tell me a ghost did this?
Odie: Uh-huh! Yeah! (Garfield nods) Yeah!
Jon: That’s the lamest excuse I ever heard! And I (He points at himself with his thumb) have no choice, but to punish you! (He points at both pets)
Garfield: Punish us?
Odie: (loosely translated) Punish us? (He hangs his head in sorrow) Whimper
(Later that day, the camera provides a shot of the back of the house)
Jon: (from inside the house) OK, guys, it’s time for dinner. (Garfield and Odie are seated at the table. Jon stands next to them)
Garfield: I’ll have the Caesar salad (He raises his finger) to start, dressing on the side, (He points at Jon) then the shrimp cocktail followed by French onion soup with extra cheese. (Cut to Odie, who lets his tongue hang) Corn on the cob with extra butter (Cut to Jon, who smiles sinisterly at the audience)
Jon: Chuckles
Garfield: (continuing) and a side of lasagna. (Returning to the fat cat, who has his paws clasped together as if praying) For dessert, apple pie with mint chip ice cream and a couple of seven-layer cakes.
Jon: There you go. (He sets a bowl of cat food in front of his cat)
Garfield: Laughs (He looks at the bowl, and his grin quickly fades upon seeing cubes of kibble inside it)
Jon: Kitty Witty dry cat food made with all artificial ingredients.
Garfield: Scoff. (He points at it) This is not what I ordered. (His eyes narrow and he glares at Jon, who is now seated across from him with a plate of lasagna in front of him)
Jon: That’s all you’re getting for the next year.
Garfield: Gasp!
Jon: Bon Appetit. (He points at Garfield with both hands)
Garfield: Wha? A year?! (He grabs his head) I can’t take a year of this! I can’t take a mouthful! Who could be stupid enough to eat THIS?! (He points at the bowl. Right on cue, Odie slurps up the kibble in front of him) Wha?
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: (exasperated) Sigh… (He facepalms as Odie licks his lips and grins at him)
Odie: Mutters Chuckle (While Odie is content with it, Garfield is quite the opposite)
Garfield: He’s not getting away with this! I demand food! (He storms into the kitchen, only to find that all the pantries and cabinets have been secured shut with chains and locks) DAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (He tries the fridge, which has also been put under lock and key) Grunt! Gasp! (He, however, will not take this lying down) OK, Jon, you wanna play? (He points vaguely) I’m game. (He pounds his fist into his paw) Laughs (He pulls out a pair of tweezers and attempts picking the lock on the refrigerator. Before he can, he is startled by an alarm sound) Whimper Doh! (He sees a door in the wall open and a security camera pop out of it)
Jon: (through the camera) Don’t bother, Garfield. this kitchen is burglar-proof and Garfield-proof. (The floor then opens under Garfield, causing him to leap to the side)
Garfield: Whimpers (A cowboy boot rises from the trapdoor. The Flabby Tabby tries to run, but gets his butt kicked before he can) Whoa! (He gets launched out the window into a pile of garbage outside) Oh well. (He looks at the viewers and raises his finger) At least the food is better here. (He hears the ghost once more)
Ghost: Cackles
Garfield: Huh? (He gets up, a determined look on his face) That laugh again. I KNOW I've heard it before! (He runs to the front yard, glancing at the houses across the street) Pants It’s like it came (He scratches his head) from one of the houses across the street. (He then hears Nathan’s mother calling from inside the pink house)
Nathan’s Mother: Nathan! Lunch is ready!
Nathan: Coming, mother!
Garfield: I know who the ghost is! (He swings his fist in triumph) It’s… it’s Nathan, (He gets angry) that bratty (He raises his finger and wags it at the audience) science geeky kid across the street. (He hurries off across the street toward Nathan’s house) Pants Grunt! (He hides behind a trash can) The kid who have shrunked me to the size of a mouse. The kid who have cloned Odie into 12 dogs with the collective (He raises his finger) brains of a hockey puck. (He hops onto the porch and climbs one of the columns to get to the roof) Grunt! (Upon reaching the roof, he sneaks toward a window on his wiggling toes) The kid who have turned Nermal into a cockroach. (He cowers next to the window and addresses the audience for a moment) Can you believe that someone found a way to make Nermal more annoying? Hmm… (He peers into the window. He sees nothing, but hears Nathan loud and clear)
Nathan: Cackles
Garfield: Gasp! (A green cone-shaped machine starts to shake and it zaps Nathan, turning him visible again)
Nathan: Cackles
Garfield: Doh! (He addresses the viewers) Told ya. (The boy scientist walks toward a full-length mirror leaning against a wall. He records himself with a voice recorder)
Nathan: Journal, (He points up) my invisibility machine is working to perfection. Phase 1: (He holds up one finger) getting back at that stupid orange cat and that dumb puppy (Cut to Garfield, who is leaning in the window)
Garfield: Huh?
Nathan: (continuing) was a total success! (Nathan turns toward the staircase) And now, Phase 2, (He holds up two fingers) to terrorize the entire neighborhood, and then the city, and finally, the whole wide world! Cackles
Nathan’s Mother: (from downstairs) Nathan? Your lunch is getting cold!
Nathan: Coming, mother. (He trudges downstairs. The Tubby Tabby takes advantage of his absence and leaps through the window. He hops onto a chair next to the invisibility machine, it pointing directly at him)
Garfield: Let’s see how this thing works. Laughs (He sees a couple of buttons on the nozzle pointing at him. He presses the green one first, and the machine starts up) AH! (He is turned invisible) OK, the green button makes you invisible. Let’s see what happens when I push the white button. (He pushes it, and is turned visible again by the machine) OK, got it. (He raises his finger) White button reverses it. (He hears a voice in the distance)
Nathan: Thanks for lunch, mom. (Garfield raises his paw to his ear, or the side of his head) I’m going to eat in my lab, er, uh, room.
Garfield: Uh-oh, (He raises his finger) green button time. (He turns himself invisible just before Nathan arrives with a plate of spaghetti)
Nathan: I’ll eat as soon as I finish rearranging the world’s time zones. (He sets the plate on a table. An invisible Garfield grabs it)
Garfield: Mmm! Spaghetti! (He devours it) Slurp! Slurp! Slurp! Mm! Boy, Nathan’s mother raised a rotten kid, (He sets the plate back on the table) but she sure makes a mean marinara.
Nathan: Done. (He dusts his hands off) Now for my lunch. (He turns and is shocked to see that his lunch has vanished) Oh well. (He waves his hand dismissively) I don’t have time for lunch now. (He presses the green button on his machine and stands in front of it) Now let’s go out and wreak havoc (He turns himself invisible) in the neighborhood. Cackles (Garfield grabs a pillow)
Garfield: Over my invisible body. (He whacks Nathan with it)
Nathan: Ouch! What was that?
Garfield: That was for the stupid orange cat, and THIS is for the dumb puppy. (He gives Nathan another smack with the pillow)
Nathan: Hey, whoever you are, (He grabs the other pillow from the bed) you’re gonna be sorry you did that! (He whacks Garfield over the head with it)
Garfield: Ouch! (They swing the pillows at each other, trading blows until one of them bursts feathers all over the place)
Nathan: Ah! Grunt! Time out! I need to catch my breath. I’m a geek, not an athlete. (The Tubby Tabby brings a chair over)
Garfield: Well if you’re feeling tired, (He picks the chair up) why don’t you grab a chair? (He throws it, and is smashes into pieces against the wall)
Nathan: Ha! You missed! (They then grab a wooden pirate sword and a small wooden plank)
Garfield: En garde! (The two of them duel)
Garfield and Nathan: Fighting grunts (They clash swords, knocking over a lamp and tipping the bed over as they do. Nathan then grabs a table while Garfield still recovers)
Nathan: Timber! (He turns the table onto Garfield)
Garfield: Ouch! That hurt! (Just then, Nathan’s mom walks in)
Nathan’s Mother: Nathan? What’s going on here? Nathan! (She is shocked to see the mess in the lab) Gasp! What happened? Nathan, where are you? (A pair of cans of spray paint float by past and behind her)
Garfield: He’s right here! (He sprays Nathan with purple and neon green spray paint. Nathan’s mother is shocked)
Nathan’s Mother: Oh! (There is Nathan, mostly covered in paint) Nathan, (She raises her finger) what on Earth have you been up to again?
Nathan: I built an invisibility machine! That’s what geniuses like me do, mom! (He points at himself with his thumb) We build cool stuff! (He has a proud smile on his face, but his mom is not amused)
Nathan’s Mother: Oh yeah? And how does your genius (She points at him) account for your destroyed room? (Garfield turns himself visible again)
Garfield: Laughs (He swiftly bolts for the open window he used to get inside. As he climbs through, he mockingly waves good-bye) See ya, Nathan. (The boy sees him)
Nathan: There! (He points at the cat) It was that stupid orange cat who wrecked my room!
Nathan’s Mother: Huh? (She turns around, but Garfield is already gone) I don’t see any cat.
Nathan: It was Garfield! Honest! He used my machine to make himself invisible and… (His mother cuts him off)
Nathan’s Mother: Enough! (She begins wheeling the invisibility machine toward the window) I’m sick and tired of your inventions! (The kid scientist is mortified)
Nathan: AAHHH!
Nathan’s Mother: So much for your silly (She throws it out the window. It tumbles off the roof and lands at Garfield’s feet, who has a paw to his ear, joyfully eavesdropping on the conversation) invisibility machine!
Nathan: But mom!
Nathan’s Mother: Ahhh! No “buts”! (She continues her rant as Garfield addresses the viewers)
Garfield: Well I guess that takes care of the boy genius. (He hurries across the street back home) Now let’s look into the dining (He raises his finger) situation at home.
(Inside, Jon is taunting Odie by eating a pizza in front of the panting pup. Odie eyes the slice hungrily, looking sad)
Odie: Pants Whimpers
Jon: Oh, I'm sorry Odie, but you don’t get any pizza. (He raises his finger) You and Garfield are only getting dry food for a year.
Odie: Gasp!
(Unbeknownst to either of them, Garfield is listening from underneath an open window, raising a paw to his ear)
Jon: (continuing) That’ll teach you to try and convince me that the house was wrecked by ghosts.
Garfield: Giggles (He clenches his fist and smiles, an idea brewing in his mind. He quickly takes off)
Jon: (continuing) Ha. What a silly fib.
Garfield: Laughs (He presses a button on the invisibility machine, turning himself invisible)
(Meanwhile, Jon is still enjoying his pizza)
Jon: Now, if you could convince me that there were ghosts, (Just then, the invisible cat holds a pizza slice in front of Jon) I'd believe you. But we all know that there is no such thing as… (He pauses, noticing the floating piece of pizza. In front of him. Garfield chomps it one bite at a time, making it look like the pizza is eating itself. When it finally sinks in, Jon is horrified) g-g-g-g-g-ghosts! Help! (He flees the living room) Ghosts! My house is haunted! (Odie remains, looking concerned for his owner. The Flabby Tabby picks up another slice) Help! Pizza-eating ghosts!
Garfield: Hi, Odie! (Odie’s head snaps toward the sound of his friend’s voice) It’s me! (The pup squints, not fully understanding) Oh wait! (He takes a can of glittery-pink spray paint and points it at himself, revealing himself to his pooch pal)
Odie: Surprised mutters (The cat’s top half is a powdery pink)
Garfield: I’ll explain it to you after I finish my pizza. (He takes a bite and addresses the viewers) Boy this was a great episode. (He gives the audience a thumbs-up and takes another bite of the pizza) Mmm-nom-nom-nom! (He holds his finger up) The animators must’ve especially loved it. They probably took the week off. (He finishes his pizza slice) Mmm-nom-nom! (He rubs his fingers together, and the curtain falls on this episode)
THE END