FANDOM


Transcript

(the episode starts off at the beach where Garfield and Jon are walking past a group of people)

Jon: What a beautiful day to come here to the beach and lie in the sun. People are surfing and playing volleyball. And up there on the pier, someone's taking pictures of...(sees a beautiful blonde-haired lady) Hey, it looks like...(gasps) That's...that's supermodel Heather St. Clair! (to Garfield; stutters) Garfield, I'm feeling cold chills. Cold chills, Garfield. I must be in love.

Garfield: You must be in the ocean.

(and he is; scene cuts to Heather St. Clair and a photographer packing up)

Maurice: All right, I think we have enough shots for today, Heather.

Heather: (looks through her binoculars) Oh, he is gorgeous! Oh, I must have him! Oh, Maurice, quick. Quick, come look.

Maurice: Oh. Another male has caught your eye? That will make six this week. (giggles) And it is only Tuesday. (looks through the binoculars and sees Jon flexing his stomach) Him? That clown? (giggles) Why, he's only a cartoonist!

Heather: No, not him. Look to the left.

(Maurice now looks at Garfield eating a sandwich)

Maurice: The cat?

Heather: Yes, the cat. I must have that cat. I simply must.

Maurice: But my dear, what if the man does not wish to part with this cat?

Heather: (snickers) You know me, Maurice. When I want something, I get it.

Maurice: (snickers)

(scene cuts to Jon dreaming about Heather and Garfield eating sandwiches)

Jon: (dreamily) Heather. Oh, Heather.

Garfield: (gulping down his sandwich) Jon thinks the most beautiful woman on the planet's gonna just walk up to him and ask him to go away with her.

(Heather enters)

Heather: Hello, there. I'm Heather St. Clair. Would you like to go away with me?

Garfield: (scoffs) Well, since I'm already here in Fantasyland, I might as well go ride the Matterhorn Bobsleds.

(Garfield starts to walk off)

Jon: (manly voice) Nice to meet you, Heather. Could you excuse me for just one second?

(Jon whistles to the music as he walks behind a lifeguard station and sees nobody looking; then he shouts loudly with joy)

Jon: YES!! (exclaims excitedly) I don't believe it! Mommy!

(Jon emerges and is still whistling to the music; he comes back to Heather)

Jon: Sure, uh, Heather. Let's go someplace.

Heather: Oh, that's wonderful, uh...

Jon: Jon.

Heather: Jon. Jon. Wonderful. Let's, uh, let's go. (takes Jon by the hand) And bring that beautiful cat of yours.

Jon: No, no, no. I can't forget my cat. (chuckles as he gets dragged away)

(cut to Garfield at a hamburger stand)

Garfield: (to a cashier) I distinctly asked for a hamburger--

(Jon and Heather drag Garfield, causing him to drop his sandwich)

Jon: Come on, Garfield!

Garfield: Wait! I ordered a burger with everything and I didn't get my tuna fish yet!

(cut to a hilly highway where Heather is driving a convertible with Jon and Garfield in it, very aggressively)

Heather: What were you saying, Jim?

Jon: Jon! I said, can we go someplace and get better acquainted?

Garfield: Someplace not moving?

(a truck's air horn is heard; Heather swerves to get out of its path.)

Heather: I thought we could fly to my place in the mountains.

Jon: Fly?!

Garfield: Two more miles per hour, and this thing may take off!

Jon: But the airport is back in the other direction!

Heather: Yes. But my private plane is over there.

(Heather applies the brakes and the convertible comes to a screeching halt next to a little airplane; Garfield is on top of Jon)

Garfield: Private plane? I think I just discovered the joys of walking.

Jon: (muffled) Let me outta here!

(Heather walks up to the entrance of her plane and boards)

Heather: Just think. You and I alone, Jerry.

Jon: Jon.

Heather: With your cat, of course.

(Jon is struggling to carry Garfield onto the plane)

Jon: (straining) We're coming, Heather.

Garfield: I want to ride in the baggage compartment. On some other plane.

(Jon pulls Garfield in, and they crash inside it)

(Heather starts the plane; the propeller turns and takes off shakily into the sky; Garfield is clinging tight to Jon)

Heather: Sorry the takeoff was a little rough, guys.

Garfield: (gulps) Could we go back and see if I left my stomach on the runway?

Jon: (voice shaking) Uh, Heather, does the ride have to be so turbulent?

Heather: Oh, I'm sorry, Ron, but cruising is lesson two. I haven't quite gotten to that lesson yet.

Garfield: (nervous) Hasn't gotten to lesson two?

(the plan is flying from side to side over bodies of water)

Jon: (nervous) Uh, Heather, lesson one wasn't about "landing," by any chance, was it?

Heather: No, no. Lesson one was takeoffs. I was supposed to study landing yesterday, but I had to have my nails done.

(Heather's plane flies through the snow in the snow-covered mountains)

Jon: (whimpering nervously) Heather, where are you going?

(Heather puts on a helmet and parachute)

Heather: Besides, who needs to worry about landing? Skydiving is so invigorating. Let's goooooooo!

(Heather jumps out of the plane as Garfield and Jon prepare to jump; Garfield hangs on tight to Jon)

Garfield: I hope you know you just forfeited your frequent-flyer mileage.

Jon: Hold on tight! I'll get us down!

Garfield: Getting down is easy! It's the speed of getting down that concerns me.

(Jon and Garfield jump out of the plane)

Jon: THIS IS ONLY AN EMERGENCY!!!!

Heather: (pulls out a ripcord and her parachute opens) Isn't this the way to live?

Jon: Live! That's what I want to do! Live!

Garfield: Don't tell me you pulled the ripcord and nothing happened!

Jon: I pulled the ripcord and nothing!

Garfield: Perhaps you didn't hear my request!

Garfield and Jon: (scream)

(Garfield and Jon continue to fall, but their parachute finally opens up, and they fall much more slowly; Heather lands on the ground safely and disposes of her parachute)

Heather: Michael, where are you? (sees Jon and Garfield have landed in a tree) Michael, stop kidding around like that. I like my men mature.

Jon: (sarcastic) Good. Because I just put on about 30 years.

Garfield: We're safe.

(the branch begins to crack)

Garfield: We're not safe.

(the branch breaks, and Garfield and Jon fall)

Garfield and Jon: (scream)

(they have landed in a pile of snow just as Heather takes out a pair of skis)

Heather: Ron, stop kidding around and put your skis on.

Jon: I'm not Ron and I'm not kidding around, and I'm certainly not putting on skis.

Heather: (puts her hand on Jon's cheek; sweet talks) Lonny, dear, won't you do it? Please for me?

Jon: (gasps breathlessly)

Garfield: Hold on! For this man to allow himself to be sweet-talked into something that dangerous, would mean that he was the biggest wimp of the century!

(scene cuts to Heather, Jon, and Garfield skiing, much to Jon's dismay; Garfield hangs on tight to Jon)

Jon: Whooooooooooooooooooooooooa!

Garfield: (to Jon, disgusted) Where would you like the trophy mailed, wimp?

Heather: Isn't this divine, Ronny?

Jon: Jonny! Heather! I don't want to break your heart or my legs, but I don't think you and I belong together!

Heather: (taken aback) What?!

Jon: I don't wanna go leaping into anything!

Garfield: How about that?

(Garfield points to a cliff, and he and Jon leap off it and into a pile of snow; they both emerge from the snowbank no worse for wear; Heather skis up to Jon and Garfield)

Heather: Ron, is the cat all right?

Garfield: I'll take a survey and get back to you.

(Jon and Garfield dust themselves off)

Jon: Heather, this won't work. You're the jet setter, fly-around-the-world type. And I'm the stay-at-home-and-feed-the-cat type.

Heather: But Don...

Jon: Ron, er, Jon.

Heather: Whatever. If you're going to leave me, at least, leave me something to remember you by.

Jon: What do you want?

Garfield: Whatever she wants, give it to her, and let's go home.

Heather: I want...your cat.

Jon: Oh, sure. You can have...my cat?

Garfield: His cat?

Jon: Heather, I like you a lot, but you can't have my cat.

Heather: (angered) What do you mean I can't have your cat? That's all I really wanted from you.

Jon: Well, Garfield and I...Well, We've been together for an awful lot of years.

Garfield: An awful lot of meals.

Jon: You're beautiful and all, and I know you're used to getting whatever you want, but...Garfield's my friend, and that friendship is more important to me than....than...(sees that Heather has gone away) Where'd she go?

Garfield: Yonder.

(we see Heather approach a man with his pet goat)

Goat Owner: (laughs dreamily)

Heather: Hello, there. I'm Heather St. Clair. Would you like to go away with me?

Goat Owner: Yeah, well, sure, but...

Heather: And bring that beautiful goat of yours.

Goat: (yodeling)

Jon: I just don't get it.

Garfield: And you never will.

(Jon and Garfield start walking)

Garfield: But look at the bright side, Arbuckle. At least you're getting dumped by much classier women lately.

(episode ends)

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.