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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode opens over Jon's back yard. A bird sings out there, before going inside through the back window to Garfield watching Eddie Gourmand prepare lasagna on television)
Eddie: You know, people, there are a lot of different ways to prepare lasagna. One famous Italian chef has, get this, over 22,000 recipes for how to cook lasagna.
Garfield: And they're all good.
Eddie: 10 recipes contain noodles, cheese, tomato sauce, and onion. (As Garfield watches, Odie runs up to his chair, the former holding a stick in his mouth, wanting to play with Garfield)
Garfield: (not noticing Odie's presence) And sausage! Don't forget sausage! Lots and lots of sausage!
Eddie: And, of course, lots and lots of sausage! (He grabs a long chain of sausage. Garfield sighs happily and claps)
Odie: BARK! (This bark startles the fat cat and he leaps sideways out of his chair. He pulls himself back up, using the left arm of the chair for support, claws bared and angry at the canine for interrupting)
Garfield: (Growling, and jumping back into his chair) No I will not throw the stick so you can fetch it! Repeat, no! Not!
(The persistent pooch stands in between Garfield and the TV, still holding the stick with the hopes that Garfield will throw it so he can fetch it. This only annoys Garfield more, and he literally kicks Odie out the back door)
Garfield: No! Can you not get the concept of "no" through that dense, doggy skull of yours?! (he slams the back door, only to open it immediately after) I'm am not throwing the stick so you can fetch it! (He slams and opens the door again) I will never throw the stick so you can fetch it! (He slams and opens the door again) Never! Never! NEVER! (He slams and opens the door for the fourth and final time)
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (this time from the kitchen window) I left out a never. NEVER!!!!
(A saddened Odie mutters to himself and quietly barks)
(With his steam blown off, the flabby tabby returns to his spot on the chair. Before he can sit down, he hears Eddie Gourmand on the TV)
Eddie: And that's how we fold in the ricotta cheese.
Garfield: That dog made me miss the ricotta cheese. That's the best part.
Squeak: (while walking in front of Garfield's feet, piece of cheese in hand,) Hey, any part that involves cheese is the best part.
Garfield: Hmm... (he sits back on his chair. The phone rings shortly after) Huh? ARBUCKLE! PHONE!
(Up in Jon's office, he talks on the phone, sitting at his drawing table. Liz is on the other end of the line)
Jon: No I'm just sitting here drawing, Liz. Why?
Liz: There's a TV show on right now I think you want to see.
Jon: Oh, I don't have time right now. I have a deadline, and Drusilla and Minerva are coming over, and then I'm gonna...
Liz: It's all about the Zabadu.
Jon: (suddenly interested) The Zabadu? Down in Franistan?
Liz: As far as I know there's only one Zabadu, and it's in Franistan.
Jon: I'll turn it on right now. Thanks, Liz. (He hangs up the phone and heads downstairs. Garfield is still watching TV)
Eddie: Now we layer the lasagna noodles in a criss-cross pattern.
Garfield: (completely enthralled by the program, addresses the audience) I don't know why you people are watching me, when there's wonderful programming like this on. (Jon walks in to the living room)
Jon: Sorry, Garfield, there's a very important program that I have to see. (He changes the channel to display Doc Whipple's show, much to Garfield's shock.)
Doc Whipple: There are FACINATING things to do at...
(Garfield switches the channel back, much to Jon's annoyance. The two glare at each other, and proceed to flip the channel back and forth about a dozen times before Garfield swipes the remote, licks it, and hands it back to Jon covered in cat drool. Jon, now disgusted by it, is seemingly defeated. Garfield strikes a triumphant pose on his chair before sitting back down)
Jon: Alright, Garfield, I didn't want to have to resort to this, but you're forcing me to resort to my secret weapon.
Garfield: (unfazed) Nothing will stop me from watching my favorite program.
Jon: Ahem, Minerva and Drucilla are coming by.
Garfield: (still unfazed) Minerva and Drucilla? (The realization sets in and he screams and panics, running around the TV)
Jon: I hated to do it, but I had to see this documentary. (he sits down in the chair, now victorious, and resumes Doc Whipple's show, slightly grossed out by the spit-covered remote) Ew...
Doc Whipple: There are fascinating things to do and many interesting places to go in Franistan, but the jungles are filled with monsters and great danger.
Garfield: (still panicking) None of which are as scary as Minerva and Drucilla! (he screams, runs upstairs and hides in Jon's bedroom) If anyone needs me, I'll be under here for the rest of my life! (he ducks under the bed)
Doc Whipple: The most famous mysterious creature in this country is known as the Zabadu! Few have seen this elusive beast, but those who do will never forget him! (he walks over to a man, who is shaking anxiously after his experience)
Man: We went out in the jungle, maybe to a little hunting, and we saw him, maybe 10 feet tall, covered with hair!
Doc Whipple: And you're sure it was the Zabadu?
Man: Well, either him or this girl I took to the senior prom. (Doc Whipple walks to the other side of the TV room, where a woman who also saw it sits waiting to be interviewed)
Woman: It was like he was protecting the animals in that area, but I didn't stick around to watch! He was this huge, slobbery monster!
Doc Whipple: And you're certain it was the Zabadu?
Woman: Well, either him or the guy who took me to my senior prom.
Doc Whipple: (walking to center stage) Only one crew has been able to film this Zabadu, we'll show you that rare footage later in the show, but it inspired one man to travel here to Franistan. Dirk Dinkum, (a curtain parts and Dirk enters the stage with Doc Whipple) the most famous explorer in Australia! They say he's never met a man or beast that he couldn't track, or tame! (Jon watches with unceasing interest, when the doorbell rings. It's the twins. When they don't get an answer, they crack the door open and peek in)
Twins: Uncle Jon!
Dirk Dinkum: People are afraid something awful, this thing called the Zabadu, well I'm here to stop that fear. (He signs an autograph for a little girl. Her mom comes on stage and pulls her daughter away) I'm going into that jungle, and I'm not coming out without the Zabadu, dead or alive.
Drucilla: Uncle Jon?
Jon: (distracted by the TV show) Uh, go play with the kitty. (he shoos the twins away with his hand) He's probably upstairs hiding under the bed.
Twins: Kitty cat! (the run to and up the stairs. Once upstairs, they start sneaking)
Garfield: (from under the bed) What am I afraid of? It's just two little girls. Am I gonna spend the rest of my life hiding from two little girls? NO! (he emerges from his hiding place and strikes a heroic pose on the bed posts) I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life hiding from two little girls! What can they do to me?
Twins: (now in the bedroom with Garfield) Kitty cat!
Garfield: (sighs) We're about to find out.
(The twins talk over each other about what they want to do to Garfield. The fat cat retreats to the headboard, leaps on the light fixture, does a double flip and sticks the landing near the door, where he bolts)
Twins: We want kitty cat! We want Garfield!
Garfield: (while sliding down the stair rail) AAAAAHHH! (He faceplants into the window at the bottom of the stairs, recuperates, and flees into the living room, the twins in hot pursuit)
Twins: We want kitty cat! We want Garfield! (The trio run circles around the TV. Jon is so entrances by the show that he doesn't even notice)
Doc Whipple: Some say the Zabadu protects the animals of the jungle. This doesn't matter to Dirk Dinkum!
Dirk Dinkum: I mean, really? What do animals need protection from?
Garfield: (now on top of the TV) Twins! Animals need protection from twins! (he runs toward the front door)
Twins: We want kitty cat! We want Garfield!
(During the chase, Garfield tries to escape through the back pet door, but before he can fully get out, the twins catch him, each one grabbing one of the tubby tabby's feet)
Garfield: No! (he screams, before pulling away. The twins open the door and search for the cat)
Twins: (chanting) Kitty cat! Kitty cat! (they run by Garfield, who is standing on the birdbath, pretending to be a fountain) Kitty cat! Kitty cat!
Odie: (minding his own business with a stick in his mouth trots to the backyard. The twins soon spot him) Bark! Bark! Bark! Huh?
Twins: Puppy dog! Puppy dog!
Odie; AAAAHHH! (The twins sack the helpless hound, lift him over their heads by his legs, and run back inside)
Twins: We're gonna play with the puppy dog! We're gonna play with the puppy dog! We're gonna play with the puppy dog!
Garfield: (to the audience) Hey, I know it was a rotten thing to do to the pup, but it was either him or me, and I'd prefer it'd be him.
(The whole time this was happened, Jon has not moved from the chair. He is mesmerized by Doc Whipple's program)
Doc Whipple: Dirk Dinkum has never failed yet on a mission. Can famed adventurer Dirk Dinkum succeed where others have failed? Can he find the elusive Zabadu?
Dirk Dinkum: If I can't, then nobody can. But I can! Dirk Dinkum never fails!
(The twins enter the living room standing side-by-side)
Minerva: Hi, Uncle Jon! (The twins part to reveal Odie's newest getup. He is wearing a black dress, black high heels, shades, and a black hairpiece)
Odie: (striking a pose) Bark!
Drucilla: (walking with her sister and Odie up to Jon) What are you watching?
Jon: Uh, just a second, please.
Doc Whipple: As I said, only one person has ever caught footage of the mysterious Zabadu. We'll show it to you after we make you sit through about (chuckles) 900 commercials!
Jon: (turning off the TV and addressing the twins) It's a documentary about a creature in Franistan called the Zabadu.
Minerva: The Zabadu?
Drusilla: He's that monster nobody hardly ever sees.
Jon: Yes, well, I have a special interest in him because... (he finally notices Odie's appearance) Oh!
Odie: (striking another pose) Hmm...
Jon: Yeah, well, I had this friend once, my closest friend in fact. He went down there to try to photograph the Zabadu.
Minerva: Wow, that's dangerous!
Jon: I'll say. I... I never saw him again.
Minerva: Oh, that's awful.
Jon: It sure is. His name was Lyman.
Odie: (taken aback) Gasps, mutters, Aww...
Minerva: Lyman knew Odie?
Jon: Lyman used to own Odie. Come on, we'll have milk and cookies and I'll tell you all about him.
Odie: Whimpers (he walks to an old picture of Jon and Lyman, missing his old owner. Meanwhile, Jon serves the girls milk and cookies)
Minerva: I thought you owned Odie.
Jon: Well, I do now, I guess. You see, Lyman was my roommate. He was a great guy, really loved animals. I knew him back when I was in high school. Then I didn't see him for a while until one day...
(A flashback begins. Jon is sitting at his drawing table, Garfield lying right next to him when there is a knock at the door)
Jon: Gee, I wonder who that could be?
Garfield: Hopefully someone delivering pizza.
(Jon growls at the interruption. His mood changes when he sees who it is)
Jon: Lyman!
Lyman: Jon! Great to see ya! You haven't changed a bit, I'm sorry to say. Jon, I need a place to stay, I'm cold, I'm hungry, I'm weak. Take me in.
Jon: Sure, Lyman. You know my home is your home.
Garfield: But my sandbox is off limits.
Jon: Is that all you have? The one suitcase?
Lyman: Just that, and my friend. (A small Odie runs forward. He licks Garfield and runs around him, much to the fat cat's disgust)
Garfield: I'm not 100% certain but, uh, it could be a dog. (Jon picks up Odie and rubs his tummy)
Jon: It took a while for Garfield to get the concept that he'd be sharing his living space with a puppy... (the flashback shows Garfield trying a couple of times to throw Odie into a trash can, only for Jon to save the puppy every time) but eventually he came to accept it. (As Jon approaches the door, Odie in hand, Garfield slams the door in their faces. Return back to Jon's current living room...)
Jon: Slowly, but sure, Garfield realized that it could be kind of nice to have a dog around the house.
(The flashback resumes. Garfield lies on his stomach in bed while Odie runs in circles in front of Jon and Lyman)
Garfield: Look at that poor, undignified mutt, all slobbery and mindless. It's just disgusting.
Lyman: Odie, you're so cute. Have a steak. (He pulls out a steak and drops it in Odie's food bowl, much to Garfield's surprise)
Garfield: Huh? (And Odie devours his reward, the fat cat tries the same strategy. He holds a bone in his mouth and acts like a dog, hopping and barking) Bow wow! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!
(The flashback stops temporarily...)
Jon: It turns out Lyman was a pretty good photographer. He took some great pictures of Garfield.
(In the flashback, Lyman tries to take a picture of Garfield, but the stubborn cat refuses to turn around.)
Lyman: Now look this way and say... (he pulls out a plate of lasagna) "lasagna". (Enticed by the Italian food, Garfield turns around and smiles, wiggling his fingers desiring the contents of the plate)
Jon: (examining Lyman's photos at the table) Lyman, why do all the photos you take of Garfield have him either eating or sleeping? (he hears something, and turns to see Garfield snoring loudly on the couch) Uh, forget I asked that question.
Lyman: It's forgotten.
(Odie then runs over to the sleeping feline and licks his face, annoying him)
(The flashback stops for a moment...)
Jon: (getting up from his table and walking toward the front door of his house) Finally, one day Lyman got a job. He was going to go far, far away, to Franistan to try and photograph the Zabadu.
(The flashback resumes. Jon, Lyman, and Odie stand in front of the front door. Lyman holds a suitcase in his hand, with a camera hanging from his neck. Garfield walks up and stands next to Jon)
Jon: You think there really is a creature like the Zabadu?
Lyman: With what they're paying me I'll bring back a picture of King Kong disco dancing with Godzilla.
Odie: Whimpers
Lyman: (stooping down to scratch the puppy under his chin) Anyway, take care of Odie while I'm gone.
Odie: Whimpers some more
Lyman: (picking up Odie and hugging him) No, I can't take you with me, boy. (he hands him to Jon) You stay here and, do everything that Jon tells you.
Garfield: Jon, tell him to live somewhere else.
Jon: Here, I want you to wear my lucky hat which you hate. (He puts a sombrero on Lyman's head)
Lyman: If I'm lucky I won't bring it back, but thanks.
Jon: So he went out and headed for the airport, and, well, that was the last time we saw him. (Lyman heads into and enters a taxi. He waves good-bye to a saddened friend and pup. Garfield stands nearby, uninterested, and the flashback ends.) We called and said nobody could find him. (Odie walks up to Jon, still wearing his outfit the twins put on him) He went off into the jungle on his own to try to get a picture of the Zabadu and... (Jon scratches Odie's chin in an attempt to try to cheer up the poor puppy)
Minerva: Wasn't that TV program gonna show us a photo?
Jon: It was a video someone else managed to get of the Zabadu. Come on! (The four of them--Jon, Odie, and the twins--run to the TV. Jon grabs the remote and turns on the machine, which is still on Doc Whipple's show)
Doc Whipple: Camera crew from France spent weeks trying to get video of the mysterious creature known as the Zabadu! Here, as we promised you, is the few seconds we were able to get. (The screen changes from Whipple's studio to a jungle setting, where the Zabadu can be seen in the distance walking)
Drucilla: That's the Zabadu!
Minerva: I can't see him!
Drucilla: Do you think your friend ran into that monster?
Jon: I doubt it. I'm not even sure there really is such a creature. But is there were, Lyman probably never...
(Garfield peeks in from the kitchen. He notices the cookies and milk still lying on the table and smiles)
Minerva: I see it!
Drucilla: I see him, too! (The twins start talking over each other, with Minerva noticing a strange detail about the Zabadu: it's wearing a sombrero. Meanwhile, Garfield walks up to the TV, plate of cookies in hand, and stands behind Odie)
Minerva: Is that anything like the hat you gave your friend, Lyman?
Jon: That IS the hat I gave my friend, Lyman!
Doc Whipple: Now you say you have heard this Zabadu holding some human beings captive in his lair?
Dirk Dinkum: That's the rumor. And if he is, I aim to go in and rescue them! For a price... (he winks)
Twins: What does he mean?
Jon: It means there might be a chance that Lyman is alive and being held prisoner by... a monster!
Odie: Whines
Doc Whipple: We'll be back with more right after this commercial! (he winks at the TV camera)
Garfield: Boy was this ever a rotten time for a commercial. (As Odie continues to worry for is former owner, the fat cat turns to the audience and winks, ending the episode, but not the story)
TO BE CONTINUED...