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"We've been working for months on this skyscraper!"
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(The fifth and final chapter opens with a quick summary. Jon, Garfield, Odie, Vito, and Angelica learn of a tree that grows lasagna. Vito ventures to Italy to see it for himself, and the other four follow to try and warn Vito that Mama Meany is after him. Mama’s goons soon uproot the tree and bring it back to their factory, along with Garfield and Odie, who had been sleeping in its branches. While at the factory, it is shown that the tree is a fake and the pets try to escape, only to get themselves locked in a small room with the tree)
(Part 5 opens above the factory. Grover and Louie attempt to open the door to the room the pets are in, but Garfield had locked the door from inside. Grover presses the open button, but to no avail)
Grover: They went in there, Boss. (Mama Meany approaches)
Louie: It’s locked!
Mama Meany: Not for long, it isn’t. (He goes to get some heavier artillery)
(Inside, Garfield and Odie examine the room)
Garfield: Ahem. Well, at least there’s no way they can get in. (Unfortunately, this is shown to be a premature judgment)
Grover and Louie: Whimper (They back off and flee when Mama Meany arrives driving a crane with a wrecking ball. He puts himself in position and swings the ball against the doors. The loud THUDs terrify Garfield and Odie who simply look at each other helplessly. Grover and Louie smile maliciously as their boss swings the ball at the doors)
Mama Meany: Cackles
Garfield: Whimper (The usually calm and collected cat trembles. Odie does the same next to him)
Odie: Whines (He raises his head, looking scared)
Garfield: We’re trapped! There’s no way out! We just have to hope, Odie! (Another THUD is heard from outside, shaking the room)
Odie: Terrified mutters
Garfield: Hope that there’s another chapter after this one. (It turns out that this is the grand finale. Nonetheless, the swings don’t stop, and eventually the steel doors start to bulge inward)
Garfield and Odie: Yelp! (They leap backwards in fear)
Mama Meany: They’re in there, and (Cut to Grover and Louie) they’re NOT getting away! (The door bends more and more. Garfield and Odie have retreated back into the tree)
Garfield: Sooner or later, he’s gonna get in here,
Odie: (worriedly) Mm-hmm.
Garfield: (continuing) and he’ll get us! (He raises his finger) But, (Odie looks at him)
Odie: Hmm?
Garfield: (continuing) we can make sure he never gets (He points up) the lasagna tree!
Odie: How?
Garfield: By eating the lasagna tree! C’mon! (Odie nods. Garfield takes a few pieces and tosses them into his mouth. Odie grins. Mama Meany is relentlessly breaking the door down. The pets appear on top of the tree, shoveling lasagna into their mouths)
Garfield and Odie: Chewing noises
Garfield: Eat faster! Chewing noises (He tosses a piece to Odie, who catches it in his mouth. The door bends further, but the pets continue their feeding frenzy, dangling from branches and eating the Italian food. The wrecking ball is helping, as the powerful THUDs loosen more lasagna from the tree, which Garfield catches and eats. Odie catches them like snowflakes on his tongue)
Mama Meany: Grrr! (With one last swing, the door is open and the three of them enter, only to be shocked by what they see)
Mama Meany, Grover, and Louie: Grunt! (The tree is completely bare. What remains are two pets that hold their bulging bellies)
Garfield: Moan. (He lies on the edge of the wagon. Odie leans against the wheel beneath him. Both of their stomachs growl and complain) Odie, I never thought I’d say this, (He looks down at the pup, who looks back up at him) I never wanna eat lasagna again (He looks upward) for the rest of my life! (Odie is in complete agreement)
Odie: Moaaaaaaaaaans.
Garfield: And you can hold me to that, until… (He puts his paw to his chin) what time is dinner?
Grover: They ate all the lasagna!
Louie: Now how are the scientists gonna figure out the secret of the tree? (The scientists walk up behind them)
Doctor 1: Uh, you tell him.
Doctor 2: Uh, no. (He shakes his head) You tell him.
Doctor 1: Let’s tell him together. (His partner nods. Mama Meany and his henchmen turn around to listen. Garfield raises his head, trying to overhear)
Doctors: (in unison) The lasagna tree is a (Cut back to the scientists) fake. Someone just stapled lasagnas on a tree. (The first doctor points at the tree, and the second raises his finger)
Garfield: (pointing up) That would really disappoint me, if I had any plans to ever eat lasagna again. Mutter Ohhhhhh… (He lets his tongue hang out of his mouth, as if dead, or at least, ready to die happy after getting a taste of heaven)
Grover: So, (he scratches his head) what are you fixing to do, Mama?
Mama Meany: The great lasagna, (He wags his finger at Grover) I want the recipe for it and I know exactly how to get it. (He glares at the pets, who don’t seem to comprehend what Mama is planning)
Garfield and Odie: Huh? (They look at each other)
(Shortly after, Mama Meany and his henchmen have arrived at the Cappelletti house. Jon and the others all stand outside to confront them)
Jon: OK, what is it you want, Mr. Meany?
Mama Meany: Ahem, it’s very simple. (He points at the ground) I want the recipe for Mama Cappelletti’s lasagna! (He points at the group, and then gestures behind him with his thumb) I have your cat and dog here. (In the back of a pickup truck, Garfield and Odie are locked in a cage, no longer dealing with upset stomachs, but that was the least of their problems)
Odie: Whimpers (Garfield appears next to him and shakes his fist between the cage bars)
Garfield: Do not, under any circumstances, give him the recipe!
All: Gasp! (Most of them are horrified)
Mama Meany: If you want them back, give me the recipe.
Garfield: Under those circumstances, (He gets a defeated tone) give him the recipe.
Odie: (sadly) Howl! (The Cappellettis look at Mama Cappelletti)
Mama Cappelletti: Hmph! (She storms over to Mama Meany) Here you are, senore Meany. (She reaches into her pocket and hands him the recipe)
Mama Meany: Chuckles
Mama Cappelletti: (continuing) my private recipe for the finest lasagna in the world!
Eddie Gourmand: But, uh, (He whispers to Angelica) we’re going to give that recipe to the entire world! (He raises his hands and wiggles his fingers)
Angelica: (quietly) That is why she doesn’t mind giving it to him.
Mama Meany: Alright, let the cat and dog go. (He points at Louie, who is on the truck. Louie lets the pets out)
Garfield: C’mon, Odie!
Odie: Right! (He swing himself over the edge of the truck onto the ground)
Garfield: I have an idea, (Odie pokes his head out of the cage behind him)
Odie: Hmm?
Garfield: (continuing) but it’s mean and devious, and it’s a rotten thing to do to anyone. (Odie walks up behind him on his hind legs)
Odie: Questioning mutters
Garfield: Chuckle Of COURSE I’m gonna do it! (He takes off, with Odie following close behind. Louie makes his way to Mama Meany’s side)
Mama Meany: With this lasagna recipe I'm gonna be able to drive out of business every Italian restaurant in the world I don't own, (He points) starting with yours, Vito! (The chef scowls and his fists tremble. Angelica holds his arm)
Vito: Grr!
Angelica: Gasp!
Jon: (with trembling fists) You are a terrible man, Meany!
Angelica: An awful man! (Nunzio walks up)
Nunzio Cappelletti: (pointing) I agree, and I oughta know. I used to be like you! (He points again)
Mama Meany: I don’t care what anyone thinks of me as long as I'm rich. (He shakes his fist at them) If I ever need respect, I can just buy it. (He raises the recipe in his hand. Garfield, meanwhile, sneakily takes the remote from Eddie’s pocket. Odie trots up behind him)
Garfield: Laughs
Odie: Pants (Garfield presses a button and the robotic cameraman walks up)
Eddie Gourmand: Well, I for one will never respect you! (He points) The food in your restaurants is awful!
Garfield: Chuckle (He smiles at the viewers and presses another button. The robot shakes)
Robotic Cameraman: Transmission to satellite started. (Garfield smiles evilly. A satellite orbiting the Earth points at the planet, and the cameraman starts recording Mama Meany without going noticed by anyone, save for the pets)
Mama Meany: I know the food in my restaurants is awful, (Garfield tiptoes behind the truck) but I also know most people are too STUPID (Garfield holds the microphone out to capture every word) to know the difference! (The satellite broadcasts Mama Meany to televisions across the world, including in Mrs. Schmidlap’s house, Mrs. Schmidlap, who was reading a magazine on her couch, sees Meany on TV) I keep lowering quality and raising prices and still those idiots come in and eat the LOUSY pasta I serve!
Mrs. Schmidlap: Chad, what’s this show? I turn on the TV to watch Eddie Gourmand and this (She gestures to the TV) enormous obnoxious guy is on!
(In an office in another part of the world, a large man sees the broadcast on his computer)
Mama Meany: Did you know my chicken parmesan contains neither chicken nor parmesan? That is ABSOLUTELY true.
British Man: My word! This bloke is popping up in chat windows all over the internet!
(It spreads like wildfire. Even to Liz’s office, where the vet is helping a black Chihuahua)
Mama Meany: My Fettuccine Alfredo (Cut to inside, where Liz is stroking the pint-sized pooch) contains fake fettuccine, (Liz turns around and sees Mama Meany on the computer) and the guy who makes it, is not named Alfredo. It doesn’t make a bit of difference to my customers!
Liz: It’s that guy (The Chihuahua growls and bares its teeth at the computer) with the annoying commercials, Mama Meany. I have the strangest feeling that Garfield has something to do with this.
(From America to China, and everywhere in between, the news spreads. One man finds it while scrolling on his phone)
Mama Meany: I can serve the lousiest product to people, but if I spend enough money on advertising, they simply eat it up! (The man is shocked by this development) You wouldn’t believe how much MONEY I make selling this garbage!
People: Gasp! Overlapping chatter
(In front of a TV store, Nermal and Harry watch the TVs on display)
Mama Meany: Believe me, anyone who’d eat at Mama Meany’s restaurant has no taste (He raises his finger) and probably no brains.
Nermal: This is very disturbing. (He shakes his head)
Harry: What? (He looks at the kitten, who is steaming) That Mama Meany just confessed to the whole world that his restaurants are lousy?
Nermal: Grrrrr! No! (He shakes his head) That in this whole lasagna tree episode this was the only scene with me in it! (He leaps in anger) I’m gonna get my agent on the phone! (He storms away, furious. Harry simply watches) I deserve a spin-off!
Harry: Mmm…
(Cut back to Garfield and the gang as Mama is finishing his rant)
Mama Meany: So, now that I have this recipe, I'll have my staff figure out how to make it CHEAPER. (It is now that someone finally notices the cameraman)
Eddie Gourmand: My goodness! My robotic cameraman (He points at it) seems to be on and broadcasting this all over the world! (Almost everyone is surprised by this)
Jon: Gasp!
Angelica and Vito: Gasp!
Nunzio Cappelletti: Ohh!
Mama Cappelletti: Laughs
Garfield: Snickers (Mama Cappelletti notices the fat cat hiding behind the truck. Garfield smiles at her and winks) Chuckle
Mama Meany: All over the world?!
Garfield: (covering his mouth) Laughs Hoo hoo! (He waves and grins)
Grover: Shut up, Mama!
Mama Meany: I’m shutting up! (Garfield victoriously walks over to Mama Meany)
Garfield: (sing-song) Too late! (Odie races up to him, his tail wagging)
Odie: Right! (Mama Meany gets in his truck and, with his goons in the bed of the truck, drives away)
Mama Cappelletti: Good riddance to him! Now, (Garfield looks at her, and so does Odie) chuckles you all get ready! (She heads inside) I’m gonna make you the best dinner you ever had in your life! (She opens the door and disappears inside) Laughs
Vito: (to Nunzio) Your lasagna tree, (He clenches his fist) very clever, (He shakes his head) and a very good thing to do for Mama.
Nunzio Cappelletti: See? (He shakes his hands at Vito) I TOLD you I changed.
Vito: Hoo!
Jon: Hey hey! (Vito and Nunzio shake hands, amends have been made between them. Garfield turns to face the viewers and raises his finger, the panting pup beside him)
Garfield: Well, (He puts both paws on his hips) that’s just about the end of our story, (He puts one paw on his chest) but I've got a few minutes before dinner will be ready, (He puts his paws on his hips again) so let me tell you what I think will be the long-term effects of all this will be. (He looks at the cameraman) Here, Smiley. (The robot powers up, and Garfield points at the viewers) Show them what I have in mind. (The robot turns around and projects an image upwards)
Robotic Cameraman: Projecting flash forward.
(The projection shows Mama Meany on the steps of his restaurant back home, dejected and defeated, and Garfield narrates)
Garfield: No one who saw that broadcast is ever gonna set foot in a Mama Meany’s again, so you can figure that most of them will go out of business. (Mama Meany looks up)
Mama Meany: Strain! (He sees a man on the sidewalk and leaps to block his path)
Man: Huh? (Mama Meany tries dancing to coax the man into the restaurant)
Mama Meany: Chuckle Please, (He gestures to the restaurant and wiggles his fingers) eat here! Haven’t you seen our commercials?
Man: Disgusted noises (He waves his hands in front of him, repulsed, and walks past Mama and his restaurant. A man, probably one of the higher ups of Mama Meany’s, runs up to the dejected Meany)
Mama Meany: Sigh! Might as well throw all the food away and close the place.
Employee: (with a hand to his chin) You made that decision at a good time. (He points up the street) Here comes the garbage truck. (The trash truck rolls up. It is being driven by Grover, and Louie rides on the back of it)
Grover: Hiya, Mama! (Cut to Mama Meany) These were the only jobs we could get after you fired us!
Louie: Yeah! We haven’t changed professions that much. (He starts pushing a dumpster filled with boxes of disgusting food toward the truck) We started out hauling your food around and now we’re hauling garbage, which isn’t what we always…
Grover: Shut up, Louie!
Louie: I’m shutting up. (He pauses for a moment as he rolls the dumpster to the truck, but then retaliates) No I'm not! We’re hauling garbage (He grabs a box) because your food is garbage! (He puts the box back) All except for the ravioli, which is trash, and minestrone which is junk!
Grover: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (He drives off)
Garfield: (narrating) And where will everyone go for pizza and pasta, then? Why to Vito’s, of course! (A long line extends out the front door and up the street. In Garfield’s fantasy, Vito’s business is doing better than ever) And to other good little restaurants all over the world. (Inside, every table is occupied, including one by Jim Davis, who reads the menu with a golf bag next to him) But at Vito’s, I see them being VERY busy. (Angelica is helping wait tables) Not too busy to make lasagna for me, according to Mama Cappelletti’s recipe, but pretty busy.
Angelica: Vito! We need more garlic bread! (Vito nods)
Garfield: (narrating) They may even have to take on more help. (Vito calls for Nunzio, the “more help” Garfield alluded to)
Vito: Nunzio! More breadsticks to table 21!
Nunzio Cappelletti: Ah! (He spins around, a couple pizzas in his hands) Just as soon as I take these pizzas to table 8, cousin. Laughs (And with that, Garfield’s flash forward ends, and the scene returns to the pets outside, at night)
Garfield: Laughs Now you may be wondering (He gestures to Odie) couldn’t Mama Meany have saved his empire (He glances at the viewers) by using Mama Cappelletti’s recipe to make the best lasagna in the world?
Odie: Hm. Curious mutters (He looks at the cameraman)
Garfield: See? He’s wondering (He points toward Odie) that, too. The answer is no. (He shakes his head)
Odie: (confused) No? (He tilts his head)
Garfield: No. (The pets and cameraman head to the window) First of all, you know Mama Meany. He wouldn’t do it right. (They stop just short of the window) He’d use cheap ingredients and cheaper labor. (Inside, Mama Cappelletti is stirring a pot on the stovetop) But even if he used the same ingredients, it wouldn’t turn out the same. Look at how Mama Cappelletti cooks. She stands there all day over the stove, (She sniffs her creation) cooking for people she cares about. (She sprinkles in some salt. Cut back to the pets, who are watching from the window) She tastes the sauce, and to make it perfect, she adds a little this, and a pinch of that.
Odie: Mm-mm!
Garfield: (continuing) Because, it has to be right for her family, for her guests. (He pushes the robot down and they all disappear from the window)
Odie: Gasp! Mutter
Garfield: It sounds corny, I know, but she adds love, and that, Odie, is the secret of great cooking,
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (continuing, and raising his finger) and most other things in the world for that matter. (Mama Cappelletti opens the window and announces…)
Mama Cappelletti: Dinner (The Flabby Tabby turns around) will be ready in half an hour, (She raises her finger) everyone!
Garfield: (horrified) A half hour?! (He grabs his head) That’s tough love. (He shakes his head) I can’t WAIT a half hour to eat! (He heads off. Odie trots after him)
Odie: Moan!
Garfield: (glancing at the pup) It’s too bad lasagna really DOESN’T really grow on trees. It would come in handy (He turns his head around) at a time like this when you craved a snack. (He stops) But, (He raises his paw to his mouth, telling Odie a secret) I'll let you in on a little secret, if you promise not to tell.
Odie: (loosely translated) I promise. (Garfield stealthily glances around him, to make sure he’s not being watched by anyone other than the big-hearted beagle)
Garfield: Grunts (He tiptoes around a bush. Odie excitedly follows)
Odie: Bark! Bark!
Garfield: Shhh! (He rounds the bush to see burritos growing on it. He presents them to his canine companion) Burritos grow on bushes!
Odie: Pants
Garfield: (continuing) Here, have one! (He grins and begins to grab one)
Odie: (licking his lips) Huh? (Garfield chomps down on one, rubbing his tummy in satisfaction)
Garfield: Chewing noises Mmmm! Good? (Odie also indulges, and Garfield grabs another one and shovels it into his mouth)
Odie: Mutters (The robot walks around and looks at the burrito bush)
(Later on, Vito and Nunzio play a little music, and everyone partakes in a song. Everyone stands on the table, Eddie in the center, Vito and Nunzio on his outstretched arms, Jon and Garfield on his left, and Angelica and Vito on his right)
Jon: Hey! (Eddie holds up the linked chain of Vito, Jon, and Nunzio. Garfield and Odie hold onto each other as they balance on Jon’s head, the pets doing jazz paws with their free paws) We are all gathered here as friends and family, (Jon dances on the table, everyone is seated at it)
All thanks to a little fib called the lasagna tree! (Eddie takes the next verse, next to his cameraman)
Eddie Gourmand: On this topic we all agree (Jon holds his pets, Nunzio holds a steaming pot, and Vito spins a pizza on his finger)
Jon: The lasagna tree
Brought us to Italy! (Jon and the pets disappear)
Nunzio Cappelletti: Vito and I, no wonder why, (Vito tosses the pizza into the air, where it lands on the chimney)
But we let our differences intensify (Garfield and Odie run on top of it, holding each other’s paws, and then leap into the air)
Angelica: I am happy that,
Thanks to this cat, (She catches Garfield, and Jon saves Odie. She and her boyfriend interlock their arms)
Mama Meany’s plans have fallen flat! (Vito takes the next verse. He rides in a gondolier nuzzling his mom)
Vito: I missed seeing Mama, (The gondoliers spin on their oars)
and I think she missed me. (Even Odie takes a line. He rides on a giant plate of lasagna with the Tubby Tabby as the gondolier)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Barkbarkbarkbarkbark!
Bark! Bark! Row-row-Howl! (Everyone descends down a staircase of floating pizzas. Garfield leads the way, followed by the cameraman, Odie, Jon, Angelica, Vito, Nunzio, and Eddie. The next line is sung by a voice I do not recognize)
I missed seeing Mama and I think that she missed me.
Jon: They were all united thanks to the lasagna tree.
Eddie Gourmand: We’re as happy as we can be! (Everyone takes a slice of pizza)
Jon: ‘Cause the lasagna tree
Brought us to Italy! (Everyone joins in, appearing in random places in the kitchen)
All: We’re together as you can see (They then appear in various places outside)
Let us thank the lasagna tree! (Everyone sets the table with silverware, dishes, and food. Of all characters, it’s Odie who gets the big finish)
Odie: Barkbarkbarkbarkbark!
Bark! ROWL! Bark! Barkbarkbark! (Everyone stands at the table, arms out and smiling wide)
(The song ends, and everyone enjoys sits down to enjoy some delicious authentic Italian cuisine)
All: Overlapping chatter
Garfield: Grunt! (He pulls out a burrito and shoves it into his mouth. Odie gives him an angry look. Everyone else enjoys some casual banter, and Eddie licks his lips hungrily. Eventually, Mama Cappelletti walks up with the steaming tray of lasagna for them all. Everyone applauds)
All: Applause (Mama Cappelletti sets the tray down on the table between Odie and Eddie. Garfield takes a moment to give the audience a final word)
Garfield: Everyone’s having such a good time. (He puts a finger to his chin) I hope it doesn’t spoil things when they find out I snuck into the kitchen and ate everything for the next three courses… (For now, everyone seems to be enjoying the best lasagna in the world) and dessert! (He taps his fingers on the table and then eats his piece) Chewing noises Mm-mm-mm! (He rubs his tummy, satisfied. But to me, something just as satisfying as that lasagna to Garfield is writing this two-word phrase at the end of any multi-part episode…)
THE END
(A happy ending and a job well done. Doesn't get much more satisfying than that. If you have made it this far, thanks for taking the time to read it. I really appreciate it. :D )