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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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[The episode starts with chewing sounds coming from the house and Jon is rushing at cooking food for someone else.]
Jon: I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying! I'm cooking as fast as I can! No matter how much I feed him, he's still hungry! Meat loaf! I need to make another meat loaf!
Eddie Gourmand: Six!
Jon: Six meat loaves!
Eddie Gourmand: And French fries! Shoestrings, not that thick cut!
Garfield: Admit it, you thought that was me inside being fed. [sighs] Wish it was. My position in life has been usurped. That's a fancy word meaning "stolen." And you know who stole it? This guy. [He points to Eddie Gourmand] Eddie Gourmand, the famous restaurant critic. You remember him, he was on six episodes last season. You see, he lost his TV show and… Well, I'll start at the top. It started with one of my favorite TV shows.
[Garfield watches his favorite television show on television while eating cookies]
Eddie Gourmand: At Boticelli's Italian Bistro, they have a whole new way of making lasagna.
Garfield: Lasagna didn't need improvement. It was perfect the way it was.
Eddie Gourmand: They also have a lovely rigatoni bolognese. Oh! And the cannelloni stuffed with mozzarella!
Garfield: An hour of fattening foods every night. Who wouldn't consider this a must-see television? Amazingly, the guy who ran the TV station.
[The station manager watches Eddie Gourmand from the individual television screens]
Eddie Gourmand: This food is just to die from.
Station manager: It sure is! All those calories. All that cholesterol.
Garfield: Right after the show, Eddie got the bad news.
Eddie Gourmand: But why? Mr. Station Manager, sir, why?
Station manager: Because people shouldn't be eating the kind of fattening meals you encourage. They should be eating what I eat: [The station manager shows off his healthy meal] vegan chicken made out of soybeans, brown rice, organic sprouts, with a wheat germ shake mixed with goat's milk yogurt.
Eddie Gourmand: Uh, if I could just ask one tiny question. Is any of this food?
Station manager: [screaming] Of course, it's food! It's good food, healthy food! The kind of food that makes your body say: "Thank you for taking such good care of me."
Eddie Gourmand: [nervously] Well, I suppose if you melted some cheese over it and deep-fried it… [shaking his body]
Station manager: Gourmand! Do you know what people wind up looking like when they eat the food you recommend? [He points his finger to Eddie]
Eddie Gourmand: No. What?
Station manager: This!
[The television screens in the studio filled with portraits of Eddie Gourmand]
Garfield: And so, Eddie Gourmand was replaced.
[Eddie screams in terror]
Television announcer: The program normally seen in this time slot: "Simply Fabulous Dining with Eddie Gourmand" will never be seen again. So we can bring you this new, much-better-for-you program.
Station manager: Good evening. Tonight, I'd like to talk to you about the benefits of eating tofu. [Shows tofu]
Garfield: There are none.
[Odie and Jon are left disgusted after they see the tofu on the television. The scene changes and Eddie is walking out of the studio]
Garfield: And so, he was fired. The guy took it hard. This went on for days and days.
[Eddie is crying at Vito’s pizzeria and Vito hands over his ordered pizza to the table]
Vito: Here you go, Mr. Gourmand. One nice, hot Vito's special, just for you.
Eddie Gourmand: Oh, thank you, Vito. [Eats the pizza in one go] That was the most delicious pizza I ever ate.
Vito: [laughs] Hey! Then, maybe you mention Vito's Pizzeria on your show some time?
[Eddie goes back to crying after Vito mentioned about the former’s television show. He lifts the table and slams it on the floor while crying.]
Garfield: Finally, Eddie wound up where all the people who can't control their emotions wind up, sitting behind me in a movie.
[Eddie is sitting behind Garfield, Odie and Jon, crying inside the cinema.]
All people inside the cinema: Shhhh!
[Eddie kept on crying even after everyone told him to be quiet and later everyone became anyone with it.]
Garfield: After ruining the film and getting tears in my popcorn, he apologized.
Eddie Gourmand: I've been like this since I lost my show, Mr. Arbuckle.
[Odie mutters sadly]
Garfield: Feeling sorry for the guy, pup?
[Odie nods his head yes in sorrow]
Garfield: Yeah, me too. I just hope Jon doesn't do something foolish like invite him over for dinner.
Jon: Eddie, why don’t you come over tonight and have dinner with us.
Eddie Gourmand: [screams in delight] Oh, that would be too, too wonderful, Mr. Arbuckle.
Jon: Great. I'll even make my special recipe for meat loaf.
Garfield: Hey, doesn't that poor guy have enough problems? That evening, Jon learned why you should never invite a food critic to your house.
[Eddie, Garfield and Odie are waiting at the table for food to be served]
Eddie Gourmand: Everything looks positively scrumpti-li-cious, Mr. Arbuckle. Oh, this meat loaf looks good enough to eat. [Takes all the food dishes off the table in both Garfield and Odie’s dismay] I have some of this, then some of this, some of this and then I'll have this… [He throws the dishes in the air and eats all of it] Oh, this is utterly divine!
[Garfield is about to take a kiwi to eat but Eddie sucks the fruits into his mouth like a suction cup. After he finished eating the fruits, he spits the seeds out throughout the living room causing the animal duo to shield themselves.]
Garfield: Odie, are you getting any food?
[Odie shakes his head no and Garfield’s stomach is rumbling]
Garfield: Me neither. [A plate of fruit lands in front of him and he takes a banana] Let's go.
[Garfield and Odie both go outside the house]
Garfield: Another good reason never to invite a food critic to dinner: they tend to rate what they eat.
[Garfield throws the banana peel aside and it lands inside the house]
Eddie Gourmand: I give the meat loaf two stars. The mashed potatoes need more butter, so they get one star. But four stars for the gravy!
Jon: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the gravy.
Eddie Gourmand: You could have used more flour, but otherwise...
[Eddie steps on the banana peel while leaving the house. This causes him to fall over and bounces uncontrollably inside the house like a pinball inside the machine. The banana peel lands on the house mat and Jon picks it up.]
Jon: Who threw that banana peel on the walk?
[Garfield is holding the banana and passes to Odie to avoid taking the blame, but the latter passes it back to him. Garfield and Odies keep on repeatedly passing the banana.]
Jon: Mr. Gourmand, are you all right?
Eddie Gourmand: No. Get me a doctor.
Jon: I'll call a doctor.
Eddie Gourmand: And some shrimp chow mein.
[Jon dials on the telephone for a Chinese takeaway]
Jon: I'll call a Chinese restaurant.
Eddie Gourmand: And a large mushroom pizza with pepperoni on half.
Jon: I'll call Vito.
[Jon dials on the telephone for a takeaway from Vito’s pizzeria. The doctor has finished bandaging Eddie’s foot]
Garfield: Amazingly, the doctor arrived before the shrimp chow mein or the pizza.
Doctor: Better keep him here until his foot heals.
Jon: How long do you think that will be, doctor?
Doctor: Oh, not more than a few months. Goodbye.
[The doctor shuts the door]
Jon: [screams] A few months? Oh! Mr. Gourmand, wouldn't you be more comfortable at home or in a nice hospital?
Eddie Gourmand: You take care of me, Mr. Arbuckle, or I'll sue you for everything you own. Except the cat. Now, get me a grilled cheese sandwich.
Jon: One grilled cheese sandwich coming up.
[Jon rushes into the kitchen to cook Eddie’s food demands]
Eddie Gourmand: With potato chips. The ripple cut kind.
Jon: Ripple cut potato chips. Right.
Eddie Gourmand: And I want a pickle with that.
Garfield: [groans] That's how it started. Then, it got worse.
[Jon’s phone is ringing causing him to be wake up from his sleep]
Jon: Hello?
Eddie Gourmand: Arbuckle! It's two minutes past five in the A.M. And I'm waiting for my breakfast!
[Jon goes downstairs to serve Eddie’s breakfast. Garfield and Odie expecting Jon to feed them with their plate and food bowl.]
Eddie Gourmand: Syrup. I must have syrup. Eighteen kinds if you have them. If not, go out and buy them.
[This angers Garfield and Odie.]
Eddie Gourmand: And I'd like eggs. Fried, boiled, scrambled and painted with lovely designs for Easter.
Garfield: There was no food for me.
[Garfield is jealous to see Jon is serving food for Eddie]
Garfield: In short, Eddie had started to remind me of that greedy, impatient, lazy creature. What's it called? Oh, right. Me.
[Garfield and Odie both run into the living room. Garfield turns on the television with the healthy food show of the station manager.]
Station manager: To make a healthy chocolate cake, use no chocolate. Instead, we'll use organic yeast spores and granola.
Eddie Gourmand: Turn it off, turn it off!
Jon: Sorry, Mr. Gourmand. I guess it upsets you to see the show that replaced yours.
Eddie Gourmand: That but mainly the sight of all that disgusting healthy food. I can't stand healthy food!
Garfield: The cat has an idea.
[Garfield, Odie and Jon sneaks into the kitchen for their idea. The scene changes to the television studio]
Man 1: Great show today, sir. The latest ratings are in.
Station manager: What? I only got a three rating?
Man 1: Well, you only had three viewers.
Station manager: As much as I might hate it, I've got to get Eddie Gourmand back.
Eddie Gourmand: Arbuckle! I want my dinner! Arbuckle, bring me my dinner or I'll sue you!
[Jon jogs to Eddie handing over the food dish]
Jon: Sorry, Mr. Gourmand. Here you go.
Eddie Gourmand: Ew! What is this?
Jon: It's an artificial chicken patty made without chicken, but with artichoke flour and modified wheat grass.
Eddie Gourmand: When I asked for dinner, I should have specified food.
Jon: This is food. It's all part of our new healthy living program. [Garfield and Odie both jog out of the kitchen] Let's go, boys! [The duo start doing push-ups] One, two! One, two! One, two! One, two!
Garfield: You can tell how desperate I am to get rid of Eddie. I'm actually doing this.
Jon: Eddie, we're going to start you with a hundred sit-ups.
Eddie Gourmand: You'll do nothing of the sort. And if you're not going to get my dinner, I'm going to get it for myself. [Hops loudly to the kitchen to get himself some food.] I need a bacon cheeseburger with extra bacon, extra cheese and extra burger! [He opens the fridge and sees it is empty except for the meat loaf] Ah! There's no food! Wait, there's one thing to eat in here! I'm saved! It's... it's… [crying] Vegetarian meat loaf!
[Garfield, Odie and Jon are jogging around Eddie]
Garfield: Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!
Jon: Ready for the fifty mile hike?
Eddie Gourmand: No, no! I can't survive in this house any longer!
[Eddie desperately runs out of the house]
Station manager: [speaking on the phone] Yeah, I just found the house. He left the address and his voicemail in case anyone wanted to forward any burritos. Yeah, I've got to get him to come back!
[Eddie bumps into the station manager] while running out of the house. This causes the latter to be interrupted when talking on the phone and his glasses to fall off.]
Eddie Gourmand: Mr. Station Manager, sir!
Station manager: Eddie, I want you to come back to your old job.
[Eddie sees the trio jogging out of the house]
Eddie Gourmand: I've got to get out of here.
Station manager: Does that mean you won't come back to the station?
Eddie Gourmand: Oh, no, no, no! [Eddie hops away from the neighborhood] I'll be back on the air tomorrow! It's just that right this minute, I have an emergency need for a buffet!
Jon: Garfield! Your idea was brilliant.
Garfield: Ideas are always brilliant when I'm the guy who has them.
Jon: Let's go celebrate! I'm going to make everyone of you favorite foods, Garfield!
[Garfield, Odie and Jon run inside the house. Jon is serving the food and sees the station manager at the table.]
Station manager: Mr. Arbuckle, I'm sorry he caused so much trouble for you.
Jon: Oh! That's fine. Hey, Mr. Station Manager, sir...
Garfield: Don't do it.
Jon: Would you like to join us for dinner?
Garfield: He did it.
Station manager: Thanks, but I don't eat this kind of stuff. You know how many calories are in those steaks? And the fat grams. [smelling the food] I mean, it smells tempting. [smells again] Maybe one bite wouldn't hurt.
[The station manager starts binge eating the food on the table.]
Station manager: You know what cholesterol can do to you? And carbonated drinks? I only drink… Hey, this is good! Arbuckle, give me some honey!
Jon: Right away!
[Jon rushes into the kitchen to get the honey.]
Station manager: And I'm going to try the French fries. So, some catsup?
[The station manager continues his binge eating on the table.]
Jon: Also right away.
[Jon instantly puts the catsup (ketchup) on the table.]
Station manager: And I don't see any steak sauce.
Jon: Steak sauce! I'll get it.
Garfield: Déjà-vu all over again… Looks like we're not getting anything to eat for the next few days.
[Garfield and Odie watch the station manager binge eating the food on the table. While Jon keeps rushing back and forth to the table giving into the station manager’s requests.]
Station manager: And blintzes! I want blintzes! The way my mother used to make them.
Jon: I'll get your mother.
Station manager: Have you got any chocolate cream pie for dessert?
[The episode ends with Jon running back and forth fulfilling the station manager's requests for food and drinks.]
THE END