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Transcript

(Mysterious science-fiction music is playing, while a saucer-like spaceship is travelling towards the Earth.)

Orson: And so, the glittering craft made its way through the silent world known as "the outer space". Nearer and nearer, it came to the third planet from the Sun. (Orson is reading a book at the campfire to an audience composed of Wade, Roy, Booker, and Sheldon. It is late night. Wade is frying marshmallows upon the fire.)

Wade: Third planet from the Sun? Uh, that's us!

Roy and Booker: Shh!

Orson: Undetected by Earth monitoring systems, it entered the atmosphere and made its way over the countryside.

Wade: Countryside! GASP... (Wade is panicking) WHERE IN THE COUNTRYSIDE!?

Orson: Wade, this is science-fiction. It's not true. (Orson shows Wade the book.)

Wade: Not true YET! (Wade is walking around the campfire, seemingly concered about the issue.) That doesn't mean it wouldn't happen, does it?

Roy: Duck has a point. (Roy is scratching the area, where he would have a forehead.)

Orson: Okay. As soon, an unsuspecting Earthling would?[unsure of words 9:25] had a close encounter of the third kind with an UFO!

Sheldon: What's a close encounter of the third kind?

Orson: That's a term used by people, who investigate UFOs. (Orson shows the book to his audience.) Look here! A close encounter of the first kind is when they find physical evidence of the UFO. (A picture shows a pig in scientist's robes and glasses watching a smoking hole in the ground.) A close encounter of the second kind is when they actually see an UFO. And a close encounter of the third kind is when they actually meet the UFO.

Wade: I hope I only have FAR encounters. (Orson shuts the book and looks at his pocket watch, showing 7:00 at night.)

Orson: Uh-oh! I have to go, taking over the booth guarding the hen house. (Orson leaps from the bags he was sitting on, then he shuts the book.)

Booker: But you haven't finished the story, Orson!

Orson: I know, but with that wolf around, we have to guard the chickens and it's my turn! (Orson hands the book to Roy.) Here, you take over, Roy. (Orson walks away).

Sheldon: Aah, I don't like when Roy reads. (Sheldon and Booker walk away.)

Wade: Well, at least we know what close encounters of the first to third kinds are. (Wade is showing his thumb to Roy.) Ah, I wonder if there's fourth kind... (Wade is stratching his head on a closeup.)

Roy: Well, lemme see... (Roy reads the book aloud) "Close encounter of the fourth kind" - that's when... An UFO invites you for Chinese food.

Wade: How about a close encounter of the fifth kind? (Roy is walking away to the right, Wade is following him.)

Roy: Uhh... That's when the UFO does an impression of Sylvester Stallone. (Roy is walking while reading the book, Wade is tailing him. The birds pass a lone tree. The music changes when a wolf appears skulking behing the tree.)

Wolf: (speaks with a rasping voice.) Hmm... There's got to be the way I could use this to get me some chickens. (The wolf hides behinds the tree, then he sneaks to the left. Meanwhile, Booker and Sheldon are strolling past bushes.)

Sheldon: Have you ever seen a flying saucer?

Booker: Sure! All the time. (Booker is pointing at the sky, when a shooting star appears.) See? There's one right there!

Sheldon: That's just a shooting star. (The wolf raises his head above the bushes and grins.)

Booker: No, it's a flying saucer! (The wolf hides inside the bush.) They should be landing anywhere! (The wolf dressed in lab coat and glasses leaps right behind the chickens.)

Wolf: Would you like to scare them back to their own planet?

Sheldon: Who are you?

Wolf: Ehem, I'm a scientist person and I can tell you a plan to scare off those space invaders! (The wolf bows to the chickens, spreads his arms and is moving his fingers, then he kneels before them.) What you need is... (The wolf whispers to Sheldon, while Booker is trying to overhear what is being told.)

Booker: Hey, what a great idea! (Booker leaps.)

Sheldon: Thanks, mister scientist! (The chicks run to the left of the screen. The wolf is waving his paw for goodbye.)

Wolf: Now, to put the second half of my plan into effect. [Unsure of words 11:15 - 11:20] (The wolf walks away. Meanwhile, Wade keeps asking Roy about close encounters.)

Wade: Ahh, how about a close encounter of the ninteenth kind?

Roy: That's when the UFO challenges you to arm wrestling. (The wolf, still dressed in scientist's robes, appears right behind Wade.)

Wolf: Eeh-xcuse me? (The wolf pokes Wade with his finger.)

Wade: GAAH! (Wade yells in fear, jumps and leaps on Roy.) Oh, a scientist I assume? [Unsure of words 11:31-11:33]

Wolf: I'm out here looking for flying saucers.

Wade: Eheheh, FLYING SAUCERS?! (Wade is panicking - he shakes while remaining on Roy's hands, then he mumbles something, bails out from Roy's hands and attempts to flee. Roy grabs his lifebuoy.)

Roy: Come back here! (The lifebuoy tracts Wade back to Roy, causing the mallard to slam the rooster.) You mean there are real flying saucers around here?

Wolf: Oh, I'm sure! (The wolf approaches Roy and Wade.) And I can tell you the way to scare those aliens! (The wolf spreads his arms and moves fingers in the same way he showed Booker and Sheldon, then he whispers something to Roy.)

Roy: What a devious, sneaky scheme! How come I didn't think of it?

(Meanwhile, Orson is guarding the hen house by reading a book in front of the coop. Wade runs by, carrying a trash can.)

Orson: Hey Wade! Where are you going with that trash can? (Booker runs in the opposite direction with some tinfoil.) Booker, what's that tinfoil for? (Roy passes with a crate containing cans in the same direction Wade was going.) Hey, Roy! What are all those tin cans for? (Roy runs away. Orson rises from the chair and puts the book he was reading there.) I'll better go see, what this is all about. (Orson walks away and the wolf peeks from the corner. After walking some distance, Orson stops.) What am I saying? I have to stay and guard the chicken coop! (Orson heads back towards the coop. Wolf's smile disappears from his face and the canine hides back into the corner. Orson grabs the book and sits back.) I just hope whatever they're up to, it doesn't cause any trouble. (Orson turns to the audience.) It will.

(At the same time, Booker and Sheldon are dressing themselves in junk - Booker is donning an emptied beans can with a funnel attached on top, while Sheldon is having his shells covered with tinfoil.)

Booker: The space invaders will think we came from another planet. (Booker puts a tinfoil paper on Sheldon. A drum beat is heard in the background.)

Sheldon: Yeah! And that we got here first!

(Roy and Wade are also dressed in junk, composed of garbage cans worn as cuirasses, buckets, a cauldron Roy is using as a headgear, and empty drink cans.)

Roy: Those flying saucer people are about to have a close encounter of the twenty-seventh kind.

Booker: You think that flying saucer landed over here, Sheldon?

(Booker speaks with his tin armor opened.)

Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. I can't see anything moving under that tinfoil around me. Heh! I feel like a baked potato.

Roy: What's a close encounter of the seventy-first kind? (Wade is searching through the book.)

Wade: Oh, that is when the UFO makes cheese sandwiches for everyone in the neighborhood. (Roy leaps in shock, then he bows down and whispers to Wade.)

Roy: Wade! I see the aliens! (Roy looks above the bush to the left, where Booker and Sheldon dressed in junk outfits are standing and looking around. Dramatic tune is being played in the background. ) There! Do you see them? (Wade is panicking.)

Wade: Heh? Eheheh... Uhh.. UFO? (Wade is shaking from fear.)

Roy: Did you see them?

(Roy is losing patience towards Wade.)

Sheldon: Booker! Did you hear that?

(Sheldon stops, then Booker stumbles upon him. They hear Wade's mumbling.)

Booker: Some sort of strange alien language... (Wade is mumbling and shaking from fear.)

Roy: Put the mask on! (Roy slams the metal cap on Wade's head. Wade keeps shaking. The chicks move towards Roy and Wade.) Here they come! Let's see if we can freak them away. (Wade doesn't stop shaking as Booker and Sheldon approach them.)

Sheldon: We... Are... From... Another... Planet!

Roy: Ehem! WE are from... Another planet!

(Roy is moving his fingers as he speaks.)

Sheldon: We have already conquered Earth!

Roy: WE have already conquered Earth!

(Sheldon steps forward.)

Sheldon: Yeah? For we have an invasion forces heading right this way!

Roy: So what? WE have invasion forces heading right this way.

Booker: This is getting serious! I'll better go warn the others. (Booker runs away.)

Wade: Oh, this is the end of the Earth. Or worse! I'll better go tell Orson. (Wade also runs away.)

Orson: At last! Peace and quiet, so I can read my book! (Wade and Booker surround Orson, none of them is wearing junk outfit.)

Wade and Booker: Orson! The space saucer from another planet [Unsure of words 13:55-13:59] and they're about to take over the planet! What are we gonna do?! (Booker and Wade are running around in circles, panicking. They stop and talk to each other.) You saw them too? (The birds are pointing at each other.) See? He saw them too! (Booker and Wade are groaning in fear. Orson is watching at them with disgust.)

Orson: Come on! I'll just have to prove it to you. (Orson, Wade, and Booker head to the place Roy and Sheldon are arguing.)

Wolf: Uhh, I just love to start troubles, when they're big. [Unsure of words 14:14 - 14:15]

(The wolf rushes towards the coop. Hen clucking can be heard as the wolf is stealing the poultry from the coop.)

Sheldon: This is our planet! We conquered it first! (Orson is standing nearby with a large magnet.)

Roy: Did not!

Sheldon: So what? [Unsure of words 14:21-14:23]

(The magnet starts working. Roy and Sheldon lose their junk outfits.)

Roy: You're Sheldon!

Sheldon: You're Roy!

Orson: You're ridiculous. (Orson throws the magnet with junk away.) Where did you guys get the silly idea of dressing up like this?

Sheldon: A scientist gave us the idea.

Roy: A scientist gave US the same idea!

Orson: What did the scientist look like?

Wade and Booker: He looked kinda like a wolf, but he was...

Orson: SO WOLF?! And it was the trick to get me away from the hen house!

Roy: LET'S GO!

(The animals head towards the hen house. Meanwhile, the wolf comes outside the hen house with his loot. Two apparently alien creatures are standing in front of the hen house.)

Wolf: What first is the eye? [Unsure of words 14:48 - 14:54] I said beat it! (The taller alien is showing the wolf a space weapon.) Drop that stupid space invader routine with me, I've had it enough! [Unsure of words 14:55 - 15:00] Now, get out my way! (The wolf grabs the taller alien with the space weapon, lifts him up, and kicks in the butt.) Wouldn't fool anybody.

(The taller alien is flying in the air, kicked by the wolf. He makes somersaults in the air, then he stops and opens fire from his weapon. The wolf is struck by energy while walking, which causes him spasms. The sack is dropped, so the chickens can escape. Orson and his gang are running.)

Orson: Oh, I hope we're in time! (Orson's gang reaches the coop. The wolf is standing still, frozen into a block of ice, which is melting.) He's frozen in a block of ice!

Roy: The wolf has become a regular on the show. At least until the screen fall.

Sheldon: What is supposed to happen?

Wade: Maybe... it really was space invaders!

Booker: I saw a flying saucer a while ago!

Orson: Guys, for the last time - there is no such thing as a flying saucer!

Roy: Soo... How do you explain this frozen deliquent? (Roy is pointing at the wolf, who remains frozen.)

Orson: I... I can't.

(High in the outer space, an actual flying saucer is traversing in the direction opposite to Earth.)

Alien Number 1: Reporting to our home planet of Clarion. We've just had an encounter of the sixty-third kind.

Alien Number 2: I thought it was when the UFO rotates the hubcaps on your car.

Alien Number 1: Negative, that is the encounter of the sixty-fifth kind.

Alien Number 2: No, that is when the UFO forgets which laundromat it took your shirts to.

(The space ship flies away and the episode ends.)