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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode opens in space. Nimbus the alien flies through the galaxy in his spaceship. He calls his friend Murray on the phone, who responds with garbled static, so this conversation is one-sided)
Nimbus: I’m on my way to Gamma Quadrant 9, Murray! My generator bank is low. I need to find a place where I can stop off for a day or two and recharge. (He flicks a floating can with his finger as Murray provides nondescript advice) Earth? What’s to do on Earth? Most boring planet in the galaxy! Makes Tri-sector Blue seem like a BLEEN festival if you know what I mean. Well, I guess it’ll do. I mean, it’s on the way. (He flies toward our atmosphere and our planet)
(In Jon’s backyard, Garfield sleeps in a yellow lawn chair)
Garfield: Snore sigh, snore sigh (He hears the familiar sound of Odie. He peeks one eye open and closes it, trying to catch some more Z’s, but the pup slides up to him with his bowl in his paws)
Odie: Mutters (He waves his bowl up and down. Garfield peeks at him again and reluctantly fully wakes up)
Garfield: Sigh. Jon will be home any minute now and he’ll make dinner. I wish he’d hurry, I haven't eaten in…gasp! (He gets up and runs inside through the kitchen and into the living room, where a giant timer counts the time, down to the second) two hours 15 minutes and three seconds. Four seconds, five seconds, (He hears a car pull up and a horn honk twice) here’s Jon! He went to apply for cartooning work. (Jon rolls into his driveway with a sad look on his face. Garfield pokes his head out the front pet door and explains to the audience) We’ll be able to tell by the look on his face if he got hired or not.
Jon: Moan (He gets out of the car)
Garfield: Ooh, that looks like a “not” to me. (He returns inside. Jon too enters his house holding a green folder)
Jon: Sigh. I’ll have dinner on the table soon, guys. (He tosses his folder aside while his cat–while waiting between the chair and the hall–is at first looking excited to eat. However, he is brought back down to Earth after hearing the word “soon”)
Garfield: (after turning to face the audience with eyes open wide) Oh! (He calls to Jon, who has passed him in the living room) Soon is not soon enough! Can you make “soon” sooner? (Jon heads into the kitchen. Odie watches excitedly)
Odie: Mutters Pants (Garfield slides up to the pooch)
Garfield: I don’t know why we’re rushing him. Have you noticed how bad Jon’s cooking has been lately? Especially when he’s out of work and dejected.
Odie: Yeah. Gags (He grabs his neck as if he were choking)
Garfield: Sometimes it’s hard to tell what it is he’s serving.
Odie: Mm-mm! (He agrees with his fat friend)
(Later, dinner is served: a big pot of dark green is set in the middle of the table. The pets stare at it with their bowls in front of them)
Odie: Moan
Garfield: What do you think it is, boy?
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: (continuing) Meat, fish, or pasta? (Odie leans over to give the mixture a whiff with his powerful nose)
Odie: Sniff sniff sniff sniff I don’t know. (He shrugs his shoulders and looks over at Garfield, who takes a spoon and samples the bowl of garbage-can green goo)
Garfield: Hmm…I'm thinking chicken chow mein or chocolate pudding, or both mixed together. (He puts a paw to his face and shakes his head, exasperated that Jon’s cooking has reverted to the way it was in the early ‘80s) I think I need an emergency banana! (He gets off his chair and runs for the kitchen for some food)
(In the kitchen, Jon is worrying about his situation)
Jon: There must be SOMEBODY out there who wants to hire a cartoonist. (Behind him, Garfield chuckles and grins at the audience. Jon’s cell phone then rings and he answers it) Jon Arbuckle. (On the other end is…)
Eddie Gourmand: Arbuckle, Eddie Gourmand here! You know me, the world’s GREATEST food critic and all-around cool person! (He flops on his back on his table in the TV studio he does his cooking show in) Now listen, I was told you are a cartoonist?
Jon: Yes I was, (He shakes his head, correcting himself) I mean I am!
Eddie Gourmand: Well I need one I can pay a fabulous salary to to do drawings in my cookbook! (He lifts the dome on a plate, revealing a cooked chicken or turkey, something poultry)
Jon: “Fabulous salary”?
Eddie Gourmand: But I have to ask you, Arbuckle, are you a good cook?
Jon: You want to know if I'm a good cook? (Garfield walks up, banana in hand, ready with his own quip)
Garfield: (after turning to face the camera) Scoff. I have some thoughts on the matter. (He looks up at his owner)
Jon: Well, yes, I'm an excellent cook!
Garfield: (stepping forward) Those are not MY thoughts.
Eddie Gourmand: Tell you what, I'll come to dinner tonight at your house. If I like what you serve, the job and the fabulous salary are YOURS! (He points at the viewers)
Jon: (excitedly) You have my address?
Eddie Gourmand: Mm-hmm. (He nods yes)
Jon: Good! See you tonight at 8:00! (He hangs up the phone) Garfield, (His cat drops the banana peel on the floor between the two) I'm going to get a job with a fabulous salary!
Garfield: I know you could do it. (He pounds his fists together)
Jon: All I have to do is cook a great dinner! (The fat cat’s demeanor quickly goes south)
Garfield: I know you couldn’t do it.
Jon: Now, what do I need? Oh! Ingredients! I have to go to the market and buy ingredients! See you soon! (He slips on Garfield’s banana peel and lands face-first on the floor) Ugh! Moan (The peel lands on Jon’s head)
Garfield: Scoff. (He addresses the audience) Even his BANANAS aren’t that good. Chuckles
(Elsewhere, after flying above Jon’s house, Nimbus grinds to a stop in the backyard. The floating alien quickly drops due to Earth’s gravity. He shakes his head to collect himself)
Nimbus: Ugh! Shutters I forgot, they have GRAVITY on this planet. (Pretty sure every planet has gravity, but that’s another story) Let’s see what’s around here. (He scans the neighborhood environment) House, trees, I'd better hide my spacecraft. (He zooms it forward and sets it down in Jon’s empty garage–and by empty, I mean his car isn’t in there, probably because he left to get groceries to cook a delicious meal)
(Inside, Garfield slides up to Odie, who is still seated at the table)
Odie: Hmm?
Garfield: You know how bad this is? Even I won’t eat it. (He takes his bowl)
Odie: Wow! Mutters (He watches as the Flabby Tabby leaves for the kitchen)
Garfield: You’re darn right that’s pretty bad! (He leans out the back window and drops his bowl and the green goo into the garbage can. He leaves the window as Nimbus walks up)
Nimbus: Sniff sniff, sniff! That smell…it smells like the corrugated uranium my mother used to make! (Nice, Jon’s food can double as material to make bombs. Regardless, Nimbus dives headfirst into the can) Mm! Mm! Oh delicious! Mm-mm-mm-mm-mmmm! (Garfield hears the chewing and leans out the window to investigate. He looks down at the can and sees the alien)
Garfield: You like that, fella?
Nimbus: Highly obese cat! (He jumps and clings to the rim of the can) Best food I’ve had in the GALAXY!
Garfield: Well if you want more, (Nimbus nods) the dog’s not gonna eat his either. (The alien leaps inside) Laughs
(At the table, Odie hasn’t moved, like a young child who can’t leave the table before eating all the vegetables. Just like a young kid, the pup REALLY doesn’t want to eat…whatever it is Jon made)
Odie: Moan (Nimbus runs up behind him and shoves the canine out of his chair)
Nimbus: Let me at it! (Odie watches in surprise and disgust as the alien faceplants himself into the bowl, getting green goo all over the table, and even on Odie’s paw. Garfield pops his head over the table’s edge next to his canine companion)
Garfield: You know, Odie, I've been hungry, (Odie turns his head to Garfield) but I don't think I've ever been THAT hungry. (Odie grins, happy that someone else is devouring the green) Let’s see if Jon left any more of that stuff on the stove. (He glances toward the kitchen) The more of it our friend here eats, the less we’ll have to finish. (Odie gets a look like he’s thinking, but he follows his feline friend into the kitchen)
(After the pets have left, Nimbus pulls out his phone to call Murray again)
Nimbus: Murray, I could get to like this “Earth” place, only it didn’t have all this gravity. Yeah, gravity. Earth is LOUSY with it! (A bell dings and a voice is heard. Nimbus looks around confused)
VO: We interrupt this Garfield cartoon to bring you this educational moment. (The screen transitions from the cartoon to Garfield in a history museum. Several portraits hang on the wall behind him, one of the cartoon in progress and two of Isaac Newton. Garfield himself wears a red robe and glasses while standing between a vase display and a statue of a lion)
Garfield: Tell them not to worry. It’ll be quick.
VO: Don’t worry. It’ll be quick.
Garfield: Thank you! This is for those of you who don’t know what gravity is. Gravity is a natural phenomenon in which objects with mass attract one another. (He points his fingers at each other and spins them around) I’ll repeat that because…I don’t understand it either. (He cringes in confusion)
(He then pops up in front of the portrait of Nimbus in the Garfield cartoon in progress)
Garfield: It has something to do with how big objects attract littler objects. (The picture changes to the moon orbiting the Earth before switching back to Nimbus, who waves and later makes a face) The Earth is a big object, so smaller objects are attracted to it. History says that gravity was first figured out by a man named Isaac Newton back in the 17th century. (The camera pans to a picture of Newton sleeping under an apple tree and then switches to the fat cat, who points at the painting) They say it happened when an apple fell on his head. (He lifts his glasses for a second and then puts them back on his nose) Well, that’s not exactly how it happened.
(To better explain how it happened, attention returns to the painting of Newton sleeping under a tree. Garfield, now portraying Newton’s cat, walks up to his snoring owner)
Garfield: (with a British accent) I say, old chap, (He hops over Newton’s leg) how about a spot of dinner for your pussycat? (He turns away from the scientist, who continues snoring) Hmm, it would seem I have to take matters into my own paws. (He looks up at the tree) Apples…well they’re not exactly lasagna but they’ll do. (He hops on the trunk and climbs it) Grunt, grunt Ah, there we go. (A branch snaps, causing the apple and cat to fall) Oh! (The apple falls out of the painting and lands in front of the narrator Garfield, who picks it up. Newton’s cat, however, lands on his owner)
Isaac Newton: What happened? (While playing Newton’s cat, Garfield’s toes wiggle as Newton talks) I was asleep and… (Outside the painting, the feline narrator takes a bite of the apple) you fell down my fine pussycat.
Garfield: (as Newton’s cat) Chuckles
Isaac Newton: Hmm, I wonder why you did not fall up.
Garfield: (as Newton’s cat) Gasp!
Isaac Newton: Could it be, the force of gravity? (Garfield lifts his feet and wiggles his toes again as he looks up at the scientist)
(The feline narrator walks over to the third and final painting, which is just one of Newton himself)
Isaac Newton: And so in conclusion, gravity is why things fall down and go boom.
Garfield: And so Isaac Newton (He hops on the back of the lion statue) formulated his theory of how gravity worked.
Isaac Newton: And why we do not all float away from this planet.
Garfield: He became world famous and of course (He sits on the other side of the lion to face the audience) his CAT didn’t gain a bit of credit. So that’s what gravity is, and why it’s a good thing to have. This concludes the educational portion of our program. Don’t worry, we won’t have another one until next season or maybe the one after that. Our story resumes!
(The camera zooms in on the first painting, the one of the cartoon already in progress)
Nimbus: (while circling the table) I don’t like all this gravity, all this walking on the floor. Without gravity, I feel so FREE! Time to use the old portable gravity elimination device! (He pulls out a device, a red rectangular remote with an antenna and two buttons on it. Energy pulsates from the antenna and things–mostly pieces of furniture–start to float) Laughs Great! This is just like home! (Soon, everything in the living room begins levitating, including Nimbus himself)
(While this is happening, Odie peeks in through the oven door, his tail wagging excitedly)
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: Jon had a cake in the oven? (He walks over to the pup) His last one was like LEAD. I hope this one is light. (He opens the door and they pets look inside)
Odie: All right! (They smile, impressed with the cake)
Garfield: Hey, not bad. (The cake is so light it floats right out of the oven before their very eyes)
Odie: Huh? Gasp! (The puppy begins floating also)
Garfield: Oh! Wha-? (He watches as Odie “runs” toward the cake) Odie, stop kidding around. You’re a dog, Odie. Dogs can’t fly!
Odie: Confused mutters
Garfield: No you can’t, any more than cats can fly, (right after he says this, he slowly starts levitating) which we can’t do either, so STOP… (he realizes that zero gravity has affected him, too) floating…around like that? (He looks down at his feet, now seeing that he’s standing on nothing) Gasp! (Fear creeps into his voice) Odie, is this one of those hokey dream sequences (He watches from up high as other kitchen utensils, dishes, and chairs leave the floor) we do on the show every once in a while? (Odie floats over to him and they hug each other)
Odie: Worried mutters (He looks at his fat feline friend and shakes his head no)
Garfield: I don’t either. (Kitchen objects float randomly around) Wha-?
Odie: Mutters (He and Garfield lose their grip and float away from each other)
Garfield: Hey Odie, look! I’m not falling! (He smiles)
Odie: Really? Pants (Now seeing this, Odie too calms down, even getting excited)
Garfield: Give it a try! (He spins on his back and kicks his feet, as if he were swimming)
(Time has passed and it is now evening. Jon is driving back from the market with bags of groceries in the trunk)
Jon: Oh! I lost track of the time and spent too long at the market! I won’t get home in time to cook Mr. Gourmand the meal that will give me that fabulous salary! Maybe Garfield and Odie will entertain him until I get there.
(In the kitchen, the pets have been enjoying floating around without a care)
Odie: Mutters Aw! (He opens a floating cookie jar with his nose and slurps up a couple of cookies)
Garfield: Laughs (He uses a ladle to grab some cookies above him and quickly eats them) Mm, mm, mm! (Soda spills out of a can, Odie slurps it up, and a chocolate chip cookie hovers over to the Flabby Tabby and is promptly eaten. At that moment, the doorbell rings) Odie, (He rests his head in his paws, relaxed) would you float over there and see who that is?
(Outside, it’s Eddie Gourmand)
Eddie Gourmand: Open up, Arbuckle, it’s MEEEEEEE! It’s 8:00 and I don't like being kept waiting at mealtime! (Just then, Jon drives up to his house to see the food critic at his door, ringing the doorbell)
Jon: Gasp! Whimpers Oh no! Mr. Gourmand is here already! (He quickly parks on the street, grabs the groceries and slips by without being seen) I’ll run around and go in the back door! (He runs up the sidewalk leading to the back)
(In the kitchen, the pets are having the time of their lives. They hold their arms out like airplane wings)
Garfield: Plane noises (Jon opens the door and sees what is happening)
Jon: Huh? Garfield! (His cat brakes in front of him)
Garfield: Hey, Jon. I found something that’s almost as much fun as sleeping or eating. (He “swims” to his left, floating around the kitchen)
Jon: My tomatoes! My carrots! My rutabagas! (The vegetables in the bags also become affected by the loss of gravity. In the other side of the kitchen, Garfield and Odie watch)
Garfield: (to Odie) I think Jon’s too heavy to float like this.
(In the living room, Nimbus is also floating without a care)
Nimbus: Yawn! (He stretches) I wonder if my generator bank is recharged yet. (Outside, Eddie pokes his head in the door)
Eddie Gourmand: Arbuckle, what is going on? Arbuckle, is my dinner ready?!
Nimbus: This place is getting crowded. This might be a good time to go check. (He floats down to the floor) Better turn off the old gravity eliminator. (He pulls out his remote and presses a button. Instantly, everything falls, including the pets in the kitchen)
Garfield and Odie: (to the audience) Uh-oh. (They flap their arms like flying birds, but to no avail. They drop to the floor, along with everything else in the kitchen)
Jon: Huh? (He watches as dishes and pizza boxes drop to the counter, including the vegetables he brought in. They fall on a plate)
(In the living room, Eddie walks in and Nimbus hides behind Garfield’s chair)
Eddie Gourmand: Oh, what a beautiful job of setting the table! (He sees the kitchen. Excitedly, he wiggles his fingers and walks in as Nimbus spies from behind the chair. Seeing the coast clear, the alien bolts for the garage)
(In the kitchen, a few carrots hover in midair)
Jon: Huh? (As Eddie walks in, the carrots drop on the plate with all the other vegetables) Whimpers (Eddie walks up next to Jon, who is still standing with his mouth open)
Eddie Gourmand: What a fine way of tossing a salad! (The pets, meanwhile, had not gotten up yet. Garfield had fallen head over heels and Odie flopped on his stomach)
Garfield: (to the audience) What a bad way of landing on your head.
Eddie Gourmand: Oh, and look at this stir fry! (He points at a pot full of food) I can already see how perfectly yummy it will be after you heat it up!
Jon: Heat it up? Oh, yes, heat it up! Chuckle (He runs over to it) I’m about to heat it up, Mr. Gourmand.
Eddie Gourmand: Good, and I'll start on your splendid salad while you do. (He takes the plate and heads for the table)
(In the garage, Nimbus has gotten back into his spaceship, which by now has full power)
Nimbus: All charged up and ready to go! (He pulls a lever. The garage door opens and the alien flies away)
(In the hall, Garfield and Odie walk side-by-side, confused about how they floated in the first place)
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: I keep telling you, Odie, I have NO idea what happened! (Lights shine in through the window, causing them to freeze. When the lights dim, Nimbus’s spacecraft is revealed) But I think I know who does. (The fat cat stands in the window) Hey you! Yoo-hoo! I thought it might be you! What happened in the house? That was YOUR doing!
Nimbus: Guilty! Hope you enjoyed it! (Odie stands next to his feline friend) Hey-hey, the food was GREAT! If I come back someday, can I have that again?
Garfield: Can you make us float again?
Nimbus: It’s a deal! Bye! (He takes off for the stars)
Garfield and Odie: (waving) Bye!
Garfield: Whoa, that was amazing! I never would’ve believed it!
Odie: Confused mutter
Garfield: No, not floating, somebody liking Jon’s cooking. (Behind them, they hear Eddie’s praise of Jon’s food. The pets turn around)
Eddie Gourmand: Arbuckle, this is DELICIOUS!
Jon: The stir fry is ready, Mr. Gourmand. (He walks up with a pot of steaming vegetables in his gloved hands)
Eddie Gourmand: Oh, and it smells divine. You are so hired! (The cat and dog duo walk in) I won’t just pay you a fabulous salary, I'll pay you a SUPER fabulous salary! (He grabs the pot and lifts it to his mouth, scarfing the contents)
Odie: Whoa.
Garfield: Yeah, TWO sombodies like Jon’s cooking.
Odie: Mm-hmm. (He nods in agreement)
Garfield: Deep sigh Well just goes to show, Odie, sometimes it all works out. (He puts his paws to his mouth and calls toward the ceiling) Hurry back, my friend! (Odie too looks up and wags his tail)
(As for Nimbus, he has left Earth’s atmosphere and hits the hyperdrive, zooming into space. On that note, this episode has come to a close)
THE END