This is a page for the transcripts of the Quickies from Garfield and Friends Season 1
Quickies are typically based off of Sunday strips from either the Garfield or U.S. Acres comic strip. Some of them have a fair bit of dialogue, others have one or two lines, and a few have none at all. While some of the dialogue is kept the same, others is added, removed, or altered.
Doggy Coat[]
[The screen fades in to Odie, who's wearing a coat]
Garfield: [Walks in] Oh, we’re wearing our doggy coat, are we? Don’t we just look pwescious in our dumb wittle doggy coat? When we go on a walk, all the other dogs are gonna call you a nerd.
Odie: [Whimpers]
Garfield: But don’t feel bad. You’ll be the best dressed nerd ever.
Odie: [Barks]
Jon: Come on, guys. Let’s get ready for our walk.
[Cut to outside, as the door opens and Odie runs out barking. Garfield soon follows, and is wearing a humiliating outfit]
Garfield: Maybe lightning’s strike me and end this humiliation.
A Bug[]
[We begin with Wade standing alone]
Bo: [Offscreen] Hey, Wade!
Wade: Oh, oh, oh. Who “Waded”?
Bo: [Appears on screen] Wade, you gotta come over here, man, and scope this out.
Wade: What is it?
Bo: You won’t believe it, man.
Wade: Believe what? [Starts walking towards Bo]
Bo: This bug I found.
[Orson walks into frame]
Wade: [Screams] A bug! A bug! [Runs away as he runs over Orson]
Orson: A bug. [Gets up] Wade, you sissy, you shouldn’t be afraid of a bug. [A giant bug appears. Orson sees it and gets shocked) Whoa. (Looks at the screen and smiles]
Spider[]
[We begin with Garfield lying on the windowsill. A spider crawls up and Garfield notices and gets repulsed]
Garfield: Ew! A spider. Hold still, little spider, while I squash you with the window. Yeah, I know it’s kind of cruel, but it’s part of my job.
[The spider jumps away as Garfield slams the window down. It shatters, then the window falls off, then the wall, and soon the entire house collapses]
Garfield: [Peeks out] Well, at least I got rid of the spider. [The spider crawls across the screen] Oh, no. [The roof falls on him]
Bees[]
[It begins with Garfield smelling a flower]
Garfield: I’m in the mood to flop on a flotilla of flavorful flowers. [Tosses the flower away, then notices a bunch of bees near the bush] Rats, bees! Uno momento, I have an idea.
[We runs off, then comes back in a bee outfit]
Garfield: [Clears throat] Attention, bees, larger bee in your presence, buzz, buzz. [The bees run off] This is my territory now. [He hops into the bush] The old big bee routine works every time.
[He suddenly hears a buzzing noise as we pan to a very large bee stinger. Garfield screams and runs away, as it's later revealed to just be Odie, who snickers]
The 20th Century[]
[We begin with Roy playing with a paddle ball as Lanolin walks up behind him]
Lanolin: [Screams in Roy's ear, causing him to get startled and jump up]
Roy: [Walks back and screams back at Lanolin]
Lanolin; [Screams back at Roy, causing him to get flown away. She then walks away satisfied, before suddenly getting blown away by Roy screaming] Hey! That's not fair!
[Cut to Roy with a bunch of speakers next to him]
Roy: [Voice echoes through mircrophone] Welcome to the 20th century, Fuzz Face.
[Fades to black]
Screen Door[]
[We begin with Garfield hanging onto a screen door]
Garfield: Well, nothin' to do today but hang on the screen door. I'm bored. I'm so bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. I wish something would happen.
[Jon opens the door, causing Garfield to get slammed on the wall]
Jon: Garfield, it's lunch time! Now where he'd go?
[Jon walks back inside as the door shuts. Garfield is now flattened]
Garfield: I'm in pain. I'm in real pain. [Slides down] Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain.
[He coughs as it fades to black]
Pet Door[]
[We begin with Jon watching TV, as we hear Odie barking in the background]
Jon: What now?
[Camera pans over to Garfield scratching the door, with Odie barking next to him]
Jon: I'm too tired to get up right now and let you out, guys.
[They stop and look over at Jon. They then walk over to Jon, upset, then they run back towards the door with Jon's chair in their hands]
Jon: What do you think you're doing?!
[A banging noise is heard as we cut to Garfield and Odie running outside. Meanwhile, Jon is lying down sideways in his chair, as we see the that the door was slammed down]
Jon: I think it's time I gave consideration to adding a pet door.
[Fade to black]
Wade's Garden[]
[We begin with Wade planting some seeds as Orson walks in with a book]
Orson: Hi, Wade.
Wade: [Gets startled] Ah! Ho, oh...
Orson: What kind of seeds you plantin'?
Wade: Oh, I don't know. They're mystery seeds.
Orson: [Opens his book and flips through the pages] Well Ip in the book of mystery seeds that I just happen to have here.
[Wade waters the seeds while Orson reads from his book]
Orson: [Off-screen] Let's see, seeds, see-- Oh! Here it is. [The plant emerges from the ground and gets a hold of Wade] Seeds of the dangerous South American Duck Choker Vine. [The plant shoves Wade into the ground as Orson walks into frame] You hear that, Wade? [Looks over] Wade? [Realizes he's gone and looks around] Oh, Wade? Wade? [Camera pans outwards] Oh, Wade? Wade?
[Cuts to black]
Food Ceiling[]
[We begin with Garfield stirring some dough, as there's a bunch of food around him]
Garfield: Some dough for body
[He flings the dough upwards]
Garfield: [Grabs some carrots] Now we need some carrots for color.
[He flings the carrots upward as well as Jon walks in]
Garfield: [Scoops up some spaghetti] Perhaps some spaghetti for texture.
[He flings that upwards too, as we cut to Jon watching in confusion]
Garfield: [Off-screen] And of course, fries on the side. [Flings them up]
Jon: Garfield.
Garfield: And two eggs over easy. [Flings them up]
Jon: How long have you been sticking food to the ceiling?
[He looks up and sees a large mound of food stuck to the ceiling]
Garfield: Oh, for quite some time now.
[Some of it drops on Jon's face, then the rest falls on him as he makes muffled noises. It then fades to black]
Jogging[]
[Fade in, where we see Jon tying his shoes, getting ready for a jog]
Jon: I'll trick Garfield into jogging with me today.
[Meanwhile, Garfield is sleeping]
Jon: [Wakes Garfield up] Hey, Garfield! I was gonna challenge ya to a race, but you're too fat to outrun a snail!
Garfield: [Gets up, mad] Oh, yeah? You're on!
[Scene transitions to them at the door]
Jon: On your mark, get set...[Runs out the door] Go! [Garfield shuts the door, causing Jon to run back. He attempts to open it, but it's locked] Garfield! Unlock this door! [Garfield, inside, just watches as Jon continues to bang on the door] Lemme in!
Garfield: See? You don't have to outrun something if you can outwit it. [Yawns and falls back asleep]
[Fade to black]
Tag[]
[It begins with Roy walking, when Booker comes in out of nowhere]
Booker: Hey, Roy!
Roy: Yo.
Booker: [Smacks him] Tag! You're it. [Dashes off]
Roy: Oh, yeah?
[Roy chases him; Booker then hops on a see-saw and slings Roy upwards]
Roy: Yeah-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoooooo! [Falls into a mud puddle]
Orson: Roy, are you alright?
Roy: Come closer. [Orson does so as Roy sinks into the mud] Closer, my friend. I have just one last [Coughs] thing to say. [Suddenly jumps out and tags Orson] Tag! You're it! [Laughs and runs off as Orson gets angry]
[Fade to black]
Learn Something New[]
[It starts with Garfield sleeping on the counter as Jon walks in]
Jon: Garfield, [Pokes him] you should learn something new each day. [Garfield wakes up] It'll lend purpose to this dreary existence of yours. I'm going to the store. [Walks to the door] When I come back, I want you to have learned something. [Exits]
[A "Time passes" card appears with a ticking clock, then afterwards Jon returns with some groceries]
Jon: I'm back, Garfield. What did ya learn while I was gone?
[Drops his groceries as he looks over in shock. Garfield is then seen with a bunch of expensive junk]
Garfield: Well, for one thing, I learned how to use your credit card.
[He sips his drink as it fades to black]