[The special starts off in the neighborhood at night as the camera zooms in. Scene transitions a fence, where Garfield is seen dancing on top of]
Garfield: Hello folks, howd'ya do? Garfield here to entertain you. [Awkward silence] Thank you for that round of indifference.
[Rimshot is heard as Garfield notices Odie, wearing sunglasses and panting. He diverts his attention back into the audience]
Garfield: Ladies and gentlemen, on the drums tonight, an old and dear friend of mine, Mr. Skins. [Refers to Odie]
Odie: [Barks and plays the drums]
Garfield: [To audience] I know you're out there, I can hear your breathing. [Odie hits the drums] [Quitely] Two, three, four. [Music begins playing] Uh, impressions. Cat on a hot tin roof. [Hops on his foot] Ooh! Ah! [A few claps are heard when he's done; he sighs] Thank you, Mom. [Drum plays] 'Kay, I know a dog who was so ugly, cars chased him. [Odie hits with him a drumstick, growling in offense] 'Kay, no more dog jokes. This cat is walkin' down the street when a big, surly dog jumps out of the alley, [Jumps when he says that] grabs the cat, and throws him against the wall. He picks the cat up and says, "Your money or your nine lives." [Drum plays] Your money or your nine lives. [Gets smacked by a pie] Nice touch. I can see I gotta warm things up here. [Points to audience] All your mothers wear army boots!
[The audience starts throwing random objects at them, causing both Garfield and Odie to fall off the fence, but they both get right back up, however, as Garfield shakes off a sock]
Garfield: More like it. Now that I have your attention, I'd like to move right to the big production number. Mr. Skins, if you please.
[They both begin dancing and avoid objects thrown at them as "They Love Us" begins playing. The opening credits play as well, including the title card]
[Lou Rawls]
They love us,
They love us,
They just can't get enough of us,
All you gotta do is look in their eyes,
And you can see they idolize us.
They're smitten,
They're skiddin',
They love this pup and this kitten,
Up to now, it was a hit and miss,
I never thought it could be like this,
But now we're the top of the heap,
They love us so darn much,
They just can't sleep.
[They both fall off the fence again after the song. Garfield gets back up with tomato gunk all over him]
Garfield: I love show business. It's in my blood. [Cleans himself off] And my ears, between my toes, up my nose.
[Scene fades out, then fades in to the living room, as Jon sits down with a bowl of popcorn, ready to watch some TV]
Jon: Come on boys, the show's about to start. [Garfield and Odie hop on the chair with him] Gee, isn't it great to be like a real family to enjoy something together? [Turns the TV on, where a talent show host is seen]
Host: Good evening and welcome to... [Cuts to a title card]
Chorus: Pet Search. [Cut back to host]
Host: The show that says, "No matter how insignificant you are, your pet may be a star!" That's right, ladies and gentlemen, if your pets have any talent at all, bring them down to our studios at WBOR and enter them in Pet Search. If your pet is determined by our audience to be the most talented pet of the week, you will win $1000.
Jon: $1000?
Host: That's right, $1000. And that's not all, you will also earn the right to go on to the national finals in Hollywood.
Jon: I don't believe it.
Host: Well, believe it. But before we start tonight's competition, let's have a brief look at last week's winner of Pet Search: Mountain Man Dan and his dog, Blue.
[Scene cuts to Dan in his chair singing while Blue rests next to him]
Dan: ♪I have a dog, his name is Blue. He sings real good, he sings-♪ [Blue howls; audience applauds them]
Garfield: We're better than that.
Jon: Gee, $1000. [Turns TV off] Ah, I wish you guys had some talent; we could be on that show.
[Garfield smirks, then he and Odie jump off the chair and begin performing the same dance they did earlier. Jon is impressed as they smile at him]
Jon: [Excitedly] We're rich. We're famous. We'll win the contest and take the show on the road. You guys are fabulous! [Odie barks] I had no idea you could dance. [Odie barks again]
Garfield: Shucks, that old number? You should see us on the fence.
Jon: We'll need costumes, a routine. We'll rehearse day and night. [Odie barks more]
Garfield: Day and night? [Frowns] Forget it.
Jon: And we'll need...[Gets out his guitar]...some music. [Begins playing his guitar]
Garfield: We're in big trouble, Odie. Jon's the worst. We'll be laughed off the air. The show is called Pet Search, not Dummy Search. [Odie nods in agreement]
[Scene transitions to the WBOR studio. Jon and his pets enter the building, as they take in their surroundings]
Jon: So this is show business. Pretty glamorous, huh guys?
Garfield: How quaint. A low-tech studio in a high-tech society.
Jon: And those other acts look pretty good, too.
[Scene cuts to a guy making his Chihuahua do a trick, which falls to the ground on second attempt. The trio then look to see a girl tying roller skates onto a bear, which loses balance strolls by a guy with a bird hanging below his arm. The trio then looks over to a guy teaching his fish to go through a hoop. Garfield smiles upon seeing it]
Jon: Okay boys, remember what we rehearsed. [Walks off, Odie following] Let's get into our costumes.
[Garfield walks over to the fish and places the hoop next to his mouth. Scene cuts to Jon setting aside his guitar as Garfield walks into the room]
Jon: Where were you, Garfield?
Garfield: [Swallows what is presumably the fish] Eliminating some competition.
Jon: Well hurry and get dressed. The show is about to begin.
Host: [Sticks his head out the door] Hey, you're on in five minutes. Don't be late.
Jon: Come on, guys. Let's break a leg.
[Cut to the host frowning as the show is just about to start]
Crew Member: 10 seconds 'til air. 9, 8... [The Chihuahua runs up to the host and bites his leg]
Host: Ow! [Tries to shake him off] Let go, you stupid dog! Get outta here! Oh, if it wasn't, I'd bite your--
Crew Member: You're on!
Host: [Tone changes] [Chuckles] Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to...
Chorus: Pet Search.
[The host still tries to shake the chihuahua off him as the scene cuts back to the dressing room. Jon comes out dressed as Elvis Presley, and Odie soon follows, dressed similarly]
Jon: Come on, Garfield. It's about time to perform.
Garfield: I'm not going.
Jon: Hey! We've worked too hard to have you back out now.
Garfield: Tell you what, you and Odie go on without me; do a knife-throwing act or something.
Jon: Garfield, now.
Garfield: [Comes out, dressed in a kitschy 1950s outfit] This is embarrassing.
Jon: Okay! Are we going out there tonight?
Garfield: [Odie barks when he speaks] Maybe!
Jon: Are we gonna give the performance of our lives?
Garfield: [Odie barks when he speaks] Doubt it!
Jon: Are we gonna win?
Garfield: [Odie barks when he speaks] Not a chance!
Jon: Alright, let's do it! [Runs off]
Odie: [Barks as he runs off with Jon]
Garfield: Let's not 'n say we did.
[Scene cuts to an old lady trying to get her canary to do a trick. The canary in question is lying feet-up, presumably dead]
Fogerty: Okay, Petey. Do a backflip. [Nothing happens] Roll over, Petey. [Nothing happens] Sing Ma Laguinia, Petey. [Nothing happens] Petey? [Nothing happens] Is there a doctor in the house?
Host: And that was Grandma Fogerty and the amazing...Petey. Ladies and gentlemen, our next act is called "five tap dancing pigeons and Herbie." [Goes to him] Herbie, it can't be easy teaching pigeons to tap dance.
Herbie: It's taken me 17 years.
Host: It must take a lot of dedication.
Herbie: These pigeons are my life, you know?
Host: Well best of luck, Herbie. The stage is yours! [Walks off]
[Drumroll plays, then Herbie raises the curtains revealing some pigeons with top hats and tap shoes. They fly away, though, as Herbie just stands there dumbfounded. Then, the bear grabs him and they both crash off-screen. Scene cuts to Jon]
Jon: I think we have it wrapped up, guys. I haven't seen any competition so far, and there's only one act after us.
Odie: [Barks]
Garfield: With their luck, it'll probably be a dog who plays five instruments at the same time.
[Scene cuts to the host]
Host: Our next act is a local gro and the Two Steps.
Garfield: "Johnny Bop and the Two Steps." [Reluctantly arrives on stage; they begin their act: "The Wizard of Love." Jon sings while his pets dance along]
Jon: ♪You know the women all call me. They call me: "The Wizard of Love."♪
Chrous: ♪Oh wow, the Wizard of Love♪
Jon: ♪Oh yeah, the women all call me. They call me: "The Wizard of Love."♪
Chrous: ♪Oh wow, the Wizard of Love♪
Jon: ♪They call me the wizard, 'cause I show em' what they don't know how.♪
Chrous: ♪Oh wow, the Wizard of Love♪
Jon: ♪Well I'm greasy as a gizzard, cool as a lizard, but I know how to keep you hot e Wizard of Love".♪
Chrous: ♪Oh wow, the Wizard of Love♪
Jon: ♪So follow that yellow brick road to the Wizard of Lo-o-ove!♪
[Song concludes; everyone applauds them as they go off stage]
Jon: You guys were great!
Odie: [Barks]
Garfield: You were awful.
Jon: Well, one more act to go and we can collect our thousand dollars.
[Cut back to the host]
Host: Our final act this evening is Bob the Wonder Dog. He will play FIVE, count 'em, five instruments simultaneously.
Jon: Uh-oh.
Garfield: Bingo.
Odie: [Whimpers]
[Bob is seen playing a piano, trumpet, harmonica, banjo and drum at the same time. Odie gets irritated and begins walking towards him. He comes from behind and takes off Bob's mask, revealing that he's actually a human in disguise. Bob blushes in embarrassment as the audience boos him]
Host: There seems to be a disqualification. Well, those are all the acts, so it's time to let the studio audience determine this week's winner! May I have all the contestants on stage, please?
Jon: This is it. Good luck, boys.
[He walks to the stage. Garfield and Odie slap each others hand before following Jon. Meanwhile, the host is announcing the other contestants]
Host: Fernando and Flippy! [Audience boos them; host moves on] Pierre and his talking parrot Chatterbox! [Audience boos them; host moves on] Grandma Fogerty and the amazing Petey. [Audience boos them; host moves on] Five tap-dancing pigeons and Herbie. [Audiences boos while some pigeons fly by; host moves on] Johnny Bop and the Two Steps. [Silence] It looks as though we have our winners: Johnny Bop and the Two Steps!
[The "APPLAUSE" sign behind him begins flashing, with the audience doing what it says. Jon and his pets celebrate as the scene transitions to them returning home. Garfield enters inside, looking exhausted]
Garfield: What a night. [Plops into his bed as Jon comes in with the cash]
Jon: [Singing] We got a lotta money, we got a lotta money, we got a lotta-lotta money and we're going to Hollywood. [Odie follows him, barking]
Garfield: [Looks up] Money, big deal. Lotta good money does a cat, and going to Hollywood sounds like a long car ride to me. It's not enough to be made fools of ourselves on a local station. Now we've won the right to do it in front of the whole country. Oh well. Maybe things will work out. Maybe the Earth will shift and Hollywood will fall into the ocean. [Falls asleep as the screen fades to black]
[Scene fades in to daytime, as Jon walks to his car]
Jon: Hurry up, boys. Hollywood is calling.
[He and his pets all get into the car and they drive off. A map of California is seen as we see their path towards Hollywood. Scene then cuts to the aforementioned city, as Jon stops his car on the side of the road]
Jon: There it is, boys. Hollywood, California. [Cut to reveal them wearing sunglasses] Whaddaya think?
Odie: [Barks happily]
Garfield: Boffo, terrif, don't change a thing. I love it just the way it is. Let's do lunch.
Jon: Well, I hope Hollywood is ready for us. [Chuckles] [Moves sunglasses up] If ya know what I mean.
Garfield: [To audience] I'm afraid I do.
["Hollywood Island" begins to play as a montage of Hollywood is seen]
[Lou Rawls]
Welcome to my neighborhood,
A homey little island called Hollywood,
Everybody rides in a limousine,
Try to make it big on the movie screen,
Drive down Wilshire to Beverly Hills,
Checking out all the pretty little girls,
Drive real slow down Rodeo,
And hop on the freeway and go, go, go!
Hollywood feels so good,
And doin' what you thought, you never could,
Hollywood feels so right and,
Stars shine everyday and every night, yeah.
Garfield: I had no idea. This town has my name written all over it. This is Shangrila! I'll be famous, a household word. I could get used to this.
If anybody asks you "What's your sign?",
You just look up on the hill,
And say "That's mine",
Yeah baby.
[Scene cuts them driving up to a hotel. One of the staff opens the door, letting Garfield hop out the vehicle]
Garfield: Have the bags sent to my suite, Jon. and, tip the bellman well; you know what a heavy tipper I am. [They head inside; Garfield takes in the elegant surroundings] This is more like it. This makes Jon's home look like a fleabag. [Odie barks] No squeaky floors, no peeling wallpaper, [Stops walking] just class as far as the eye can see. I think I can get used to this. What more could a cat want?
[Scene cuts to the bedroom]
Garfield: [Gasps] A cat could want this! [Walks to the bed] I'm so happy, I could just cry. Check that. [Hops on the bed] I'm so happy, I could just sleep [Closes eyes]...and dream.
[Dream sequence plays as Garfield (and occasionally with Odie) reenacts scenes from various iconic films, including "Singin' in the Rain," "Royal Wedding," "The Wizard of Oz," "Dangerous When Wet," and a non-specified film starring Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. After the dream, Garfield wakes up, and Jon and Odie are seen sitting close by]
Jon: This is the life, isn't it, boys? Better enjoy it while you can. We'll have to go back to reality pretty soon.
Garfield: Reality? Where's that?
Jon: Well, while I take a shower, why don't you boys do some rehearsing? [Walks off]
Odie: [Whimpers]
Garfield: Rehearsing. [Crosses arms] A lotta good rehearsing that stupid act is gonna do. Well, Jon and Odie can go back to reality if they want to, but I'm not. I'm staying. I'm gonna win that talent competition, become a star, [His pupils turn star-shaped when he says this] and live out my days in the manner to which I'm going to be accustomed. [Softly whistles] Odie, come here.
Odie: [Barks] [Hops onto the bed]
Garfield: Odie, we're pretty talented, right? [Odie barks in agreement] We're good dancers, right? [Odie barks in agreement] We went to Pet Search and won, right? [Odie barks in agreement] And we're gonna win in Hollywood, right? [Odie nods no] You're right, we're not gonna win, right? [Odie barks in agreement] 'Cuz our act stinks, right? [Odie barks in agreement] [Leans closer] And whose fault is that? [Odie points to Jon] Right, it's Jon's fault. Odie, the time has come to cut some of the deadwood out of our act. And there's only one way to do it. [They both look over to Jon's guitar] Not a pretty job, Odie, but, somebody has to do it. [Odie whimpers] Here, give me a hand.
[Odie grabs Garfield's hand. Garfield kicks the lamp, which crashes on the guitar, causing both to break]
Garfield: Good work. [They shake hands; Jon returns]
Jon: Ready boys? I better tune up the old guitar.
Garfield: [He and Odie snicker] Good luck.
Jon: [Yells in horror]
Garfield: What's the matter, Jon? You look as though you've lost your only friend.
Jon: My guitar is crushed; it's gone, caput!
Garfield: On to that big tuning fork in the sky, huh?
Jon: You boys wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would ya?
[Garfield and Odie stay silent, before walking away while whistling causally]
Jon: Alright, you guys. Come back here. [They do so] What are we gonna do? The finals are coming up soon and we don't have a routine.
Garfield: [Smirks at Odie, before before grabbing Jon's hand] Don't worry your pretty head without a thing. Leave everything to us.
[Fade to black. Scene fades in at night, as the camera pans across the city. It pans down to the finals, as a limousine comes in, carrying Garfield, Jon, and Odie. They head inside their dressing room]
Jon: Wow. Just look at all this. Our own private dressing room. [Odie barks] Fresh flowers. So this is what stardom is like.
Garfield: [Peeks outside] Hey, they're rehearsing. Let's check out the competition.
[At first, a pig is seen playing Prelude in C-Sharp minor, then a few dogs are seen dancing to Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy]
Garfield: It looks as though the competition's a little stiffer than back home.
[The pig continues playing as the scene transitions back to the dressing room, where the gang's all suited up]
Jon: You know, could it be life in Hollywood might change us?
Garfield: I hope so.
Jon: Could it be, life in the fast lane might make us hard?
Garfield: I could live with that.
Jon: Could it be, we'll forget who we really are?
Garfield: Only if we're lucky.
Jon: That we'll hurt the little people?
Garfield: Hey, I don't care who I step on on the way up, 'cuz I ain't comin' back down. [Gets off the chair] [To Odie] Come on, Odie. It's showtime! [He and Odie exit the room]
Jon: Could it be, you'll forget about me?
[Scene cuts to the stage]
Announcer: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the national finals of Pet Search! [Scene zooms in on him] Yes, the winners of tonight's competition are not only going to become famous, but they're going to receive a lot of prizes as well. What do we have for them, Bob?
Bob: [Off-screen] Well, Bert, tonight's winners will receive a one-year contract with a big Hollywood movie studio. [Audience "ooohs"] [Scene cuts to a lady next to some curtains] But before they go to work, they'll spend six weeks on a world cruise. [The lady pulls up the curtains, revealing a picture of a ship] [Audience applauds] And that's not all. Waiting for them when they get home will be [Curtains open] matching his and her limousines parked by the pool of their [Back curtains open, revealing a picture of a mansion] brand new home! [Audience applauds] But what good is a home without a little spending money to furnish it? [The lady shows off some cash] Riiiiight, Bert?
Bert: Right, Bob.
Bob: Tonight's winners will also walk away with a [Curtains open] check for one million dollars! [Audience applauds]
Bert: Tell us Bob, what are the second place contestants going to receive?
Bob: A boat.
Bert: [Confused] A boat?
Bob: [Bluntly] A boat.
Bert: [Lightly chuckles] Thank you very much, Bob. Now let's get on with Pet Search.
[Scene cuts to the various contestants as Bert announces them. The first ones being three chickens]
Bert: Here from Chicago, Illinois: The Lemon Sisters!
[The Lemon Sisters perform their song, which consists of nothing but chicken noises. The audience applauds them after they're finished. Scene cuts to Jon in the backstage]
Jon: Those chickens were pretty good.
Garfield: Yes, they are. [Rubs hands together deviously] We must have them for dinner sometime.
[Scene cuts back to Bert]
Bert: Here from New York City: The Garbonzo Brothers!
[Three dogs come on stage and perform their act, which consists of them balancing on top of each other, set to the Can-Can. Scene cuts back to Jon]
Jon: I didn't know dogs could tumble.
Garfield: Yeah, but are they housebroken?
[Cut back to Bert]
Bert: From New Orleans, Louisiana, here's Miles the Jazz Canary.
[Miles begins chirping to a jazz tune. Be bows down when finished, and the audience applauds for him. Scene cuts back to Jon]
Jon: Winning all those prizes would be great, guys. But getting back to our real home, will be even greater, right?
Garfield: You've got to be kidding.
[Cut back to Bert]
Bert: Our next act features a rather unique cat and dog duo. From Muncie, Indiana, welcome The Dancing Armandos.
Garfield: This'll be a piece of cake.
[Garfield enters the stage, as he and Odie perform their act by dancing tango-style. The audience applauds them after they're finished. They bow down, before returning to Jon, satisfied]
Garfield: We were fantastic! We can't lose. We're number one!
[Cut back to Bert]
Bert: Next, from Los Gatos, California: Desiree the Classical Cat!
[Desiree begins performing opera by meowing. Towards the end, she sings a note so high that Jon's glass and a nearby camera crack a bit. She bows down as the audience applauds for her]
Bert: Ladies and gentlemen, our judges have reached a decision. [Suspenseful music begins playing] 5th place goes to...The Lemon Sisters.
[They appear to be very upset and walk out]
Bert: 4th place goes to...Miles the Jazz Canary.
[He pulls up his sunglasses and blows a raspberry at Bert, looking very upset as well]
Bert: 3rd place goes to...The Tumbling Garbanzo Brothers.
[They also look upset as a couple of them snare]
Bert: Well, we are down to our two finalists. [Jon and his pets wait in anticipation] May I have the envelope, please? [The lady hands him it, though he drops it] W-Whoops. [Picks it up]
Garfield: C'mon, will ya? C'mon!
Bert: [Reads through it] 2nd places goes to...The Dancing Armandos! The winner is Desiree the Classical Cat!
[Jon, Garfield and Odie watch in shock as Desiree happily runs on stage]
Garfield: We've been robbed! [Stomps on his hat] I demand a recount. The judges were paid off! [Tries to tackle Odie, but misses] Ripoff! We've been ro-- [Kicks the light] Call Ralph Nader! [Rips the curtains] We've lost everything. [Puts his hat back on]
Jon: We really haven't lost anything, Garfield. We're still a family. We still have each other.
Garfield: Big fat hairy deal.
[Bert and Desiree wave to the audience as the scene transitions to Garfield, Odie and Jon on a boat, by the name of "S.S. Garfield]
Jon: Y'know, boys, maybe it's best we didn't win Pet Search. [Odie barks] I don't know if we were cut out for that kind of life.
Garfield: Speak for yourself, Jon. Some of us were born to be great.
Jon: Nevertheless, we did get a boat out of it. [Odie barks]
Garfield: There is something to be said for the yachting life.
Jon: Hmmm.
Garfield: I could grow accustomed to this.
Jon: Where do we sail to next, gentlemen? The south of France?
Garfield: Hm, I hear the Fiji Islands are particularly nice this time of year.
Jon: Yes, maybe we could do some surfing off the Gold Coast of Australia.
Garfield: Maybe we should just settle for a simple spin around the Caribbean Islands.
Jon: Yeah.
Garfield: What think Odie is? [May be inaccurate]
Odie: [Whimpers & barks]
[Scene pans out as they speak until fading to black. The credits then roll as "Hollywood Island" plays again]
Hollywood feels so good,
And doin' what you thought, you never could,
Hollywood feels so right and,
Stars shine everyday and every night, yeah.
If anybody asks you "What's your sign?",
You just look up on the hill,
And say "That's mine",
Yeah baby.
[End of special]