The following is a list of memorable quotes from Garfield.

  • "Big fat hairy deal."
  • "Nice touch."
  • "I hate Mondays."
  • "Who ever [phrase] should be dragged out into the street and shot."
  • "We're bachelors, baby."
  • "Feed me."
  • "Eat your heart out, [person]."
  • "I'm not overweight. I'm undertall."
  • "I'm not known for my compassion."
  • "I love lasagna."
  • "Christmas: It's not the giving. It's not the getting. It's the loving."
  • "It's not that I dislike you, I just don't like you near me."
  • "Show me a good mouser and I'll show you a cat with bad breath."
  • "Yeah Brick, don't hurt them!"
  • "I've got to do something."
  • "Trust me, you don't want to know."
  • "Momma ? Umm... I don't know, Penelope..."
  • "Be still my beating heart."
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