[The special starts with text reading "in the Beginning...". Scene then cuts to who appears to be God.]
God: I feel like creating cat today.
[Scene switches between God's face and some footage of an artist drawing Garfield as he continues to speak]
God: Gimme a cat. Give it four legs, some fur, fangs! And some surprises. Its eyes should shine in the dark, and it should always land on its feet.
Man: Aw, sure...
God: Hm. Give cat six eyes.
Man: Eh-heh, we only have two eyes left.
God: Two eyes. I like that.
Man: Cranium, 23 panteems, jaws, 12 photocs, no eyebrows.
[A Garfield plush can be seen]
Man 2: Nice.
Man: Hmm, notice how the heavy lids give it an arrogant yet warm expression.
God: Nice job, staff. You've designed the perfect animal: Cat. However, there is one finishing touch...give it nine lives!
Staff: [Indistinct chatter]
Woman: Well everyone else gets only one life!
God: Well, let's just say it'll make a great plot for a story, okay?
[Fade to black; Scene cuts to the title card, as "Blues Cat" begins playing. While it plays, Garfield is seen walking over to a wall and he leans against it. He starts playing the harmonica as the opening credits play, in addition to previews for the upcoming segments]
[Lou Rawls]
Ya say ya, fallen under a bad sign,
Got a reason to cry,
The bad signs I was born under,
Could fill up the sky.
Yeah, I'm a blues cat,
And I'm broke from payin' my dues,
'Cause when you got nine lives,
You got nine ways to lose.
Hey, I had me nine lives,
Rolled snake eyes again and again,
And maybe this time,
I'll roll me a lucky ten.
'Cause I'm a blues cat,
Got nine pages of bad news,
Yeah, when you got nine lives,
You got nine ways to lose,
Nine ways to lose...
[Scene fades in to a rock reading "LIFE NO. 1". Garfield walks into frame, carrying a bone]
Garfield: In my first life, I formulated many of my likes and dislikes. I disliked my rock bed. On the other hand, you wouldn't believe the size of the Pteradon [sic] drumsticks.
[Title card: "CAVE CAT"]
[Segment begins with a panning shot of the prehistoric landscape. A Garfield-esque cat is seen arriving on shore as a narrator speaks]
Narrator: About ten million years ago, the first cat crawled out of the sea. His first word was...
Cave Cat: [Deeply inhales]
Narrator: He had been holding his breath for quite some time. In those days the first everything was crawling up out of the sea. The first snake. [A snake crawls out of the water] The first chicken. [A chicken comes out of the water and dries itself off] Crabgrass. [Some crabgrass crawls out] The first real estate salesman.
[A salesman walks out of the water and opens his briefcase, removing the excess water. He adjusts his tie as the scene cuts back to the cave cat building a sandcastle]
Narrator: And then came the first girl cat.
[A female cat (resembling Arlene) comes out of the water and flicks some water on the other cat. She grabs her tail in a seductive manner to get his attention]
Cave Cat: Oooman! [Chases her] 'Mere, 'mere! Oooman! [Bumps into a caveman]
Caveman 1: Cat! [Hops on one foot]
Narrator: "Cat" was caveman talk for "darn it."
[Scene transitions to Cave Cat walking]
Narrator: It wasn't long before Cave Cat learned to talk.
[A volcano erupts in the background ("Foom!"), causing Cave Cat to fall]
Cave Cat: "Foom"? [Gets up] Foom. [Quietly] Ah, no, no. Meow. [Jumps up] Meow. Meow! [Resumes walking] Meow, meow, meow.
[Scene transitions to Cave Cat whistling. The caveman from earlier sneaks up behind him with a leash]
Narrator: Caveman soon domesticated Cave Cat.
Caveman 1: [Grabs Cave Cat with the leash]
Cave Cat: [Meows; flails arms around]
Caveman 1: [Hits him with stick] Good cat, good cat.
[Cave Cat is seen completely flattened. Scene transitions to Cave Cat chasing something]
Narrator: Soon Cave Cat learned to live with his human counterpart and spent his time pretty much as cats do now.
[The mouse hides in a small cave. Cave Cat sticks his hand inside, only to be smoked by flames]
Narrator: Ahem, except for the fire-breathing mice.
[Scene transitions to two cavemen sitting together. One keeps poking his thumb up while the other claps in glee]
Narrator: Ah, yes, those were simple times. Times when people had to entertain themselves.
[Cave Cat walks in and looks at the audience. The ground then begins shaking, causing the two cavemen to be crushed by rocks]
Cavemen: Big Bob come!
Cave Cat: Who Big Bob?
Caveman 1: Big Bob big. [Grabs the other caveman's neck]
Caveman 2: Ugh!
Caveman 1: Big Bob bad. [Shakes the other caveman]
Caveman 2: [Groans]
Caveman 1: Big Bob go "whoomp, whoomp, whoomp!" [Hits the other caveman's head thrice, then drops him] Fear Big Bob! [The cavemen run off]
[The ground shakes again, causing Cave Cat to fall on his back. He looks up as a large shadow is seen]
Cave Cat: Big Bob.
[A large green dog (resembling Odie) is seen panting]
Narrator: Hence cats' instinctive fear of dogs. Big Bob slobbered, [Slobber drops on Cave Cat; Big Bob walks away] and ran away. Cave Cat gave Big Bob a piece of his mind.
Cave Cat: Aha, Big Bob. Cave Cat go "whoomp, whoomp, whoomp!" Ooh, stay away, Big Bob, or Cave Cat go "whoomp, whoomp, whoomp!"
[The ground shakes once more as Big Bob returns with a tree]
Narrator: Alas, Big Bob returned with the world's first and last crab tree. He wanted to play fetch. [Big Bob drops the tree onto Cave Cat, presumably killing him] Thus, the world's first and last Cave Cat bought the farm, for failing to field the fetched crab tree.
[Fade to black]
GARFIELD: 2000 B.C. was a good year to be a cat in Egypt. We were revered, even worshipped. Ah, for the good old days.
(The segment of the second life is called "King Cat". We cut to ancient Egypt where the pyramids were under construction)
KING CAT: Ancient Egypt wasn't the arid wasteland you might expect. Naw, it was bustling with activity in 2000 B.C.! The pyramids were still under construction. In those days we cats were venerated and worshiped because of the cat goddess Bastet. She was the head of the hierarchy of animal gods. This was one Egyptian belief that certainly got no argument from us cats. Me, I was known as King Cat. I was the favorite cat of King Amenhotep III. I called him Junior. Those were happy days. I had my own personal bevy of slave dogs. And for fun I would go over to the pyramids and torture the construction workers. To the pyramids you mutts, let's get a move on.
SLAVE DOG: (obeys King Cat's commands as he ran to the pyramids)
KING CAT: It doesn't get any better than this. (reached to the pyramids; to Slave Dog) Stay. (to the slaves) Did I ever tell you I love it when you grovel? Okay, okay, enough adoration. Back to work!
(The scene cuts to the slaves chanting "Whoomp, whoomp, boring." as they were getting tired)
KING CAT: You know, guys, what if we built a cube instead of a pyramid? (The slaves disagreed at the idea) Okay, okay! Big babies! (One of the slaves fell to the ground as King Cat cracked his whip) Alright, you! Back to work! We got a deadline to meet you know! I want these pyramids built by Thursday!
SLAVE: Hey, have a heart, mate! I'm doing the best I can!
KING CAT: If you know whats good for you, you'll get your shoulder back to the stone.
SLAVE: (mumbling) Yeah, I'd like to get your shoulder back to the stone.
KING CAT: What was that?!
SLAVE: I-I-I just said, if you know whats good for you, you'd be back at the temple rather than here picking on us poor slaves.
KING CAT: And just what is that suppose to mean?
SLAVE: Read the glyphs mate, writings on the wall.
KING CAT: I don't like the looks of this.
SLAVE: That's right mate. When the king croaks, he takes all his worldly possessions with him. And you are a possession. Get the picture?
KING CAT: I got the picture all to clearly. Old Junior's is not even bright enough to come in out of a sandstorm. And then to complicate the situation his evil brother, Prince Black Bart, has had his eyes on the throne for some time now. Ooh, if my lifespan is to coincide with Junior's, I'd better get back there and protect him from Bart. (to Slave Dog and the other dogs) Giddy-up, you doggies! Time's wastin'!
(Meanwhile)
JUNIOR: (humming)
BLACK BART: (snickers) Hey, Junior. Hey, man, you know, I have a surprise for you.
JUNIOR: Ooh, goody goody goody. I just love surprises. Where is it. Where is it?
BLACK BART: It's, uh, through that door. Go ahead step through the door. I think your going to be surprised.
JUNIOR: Okay.
(Meanwhile)
KING CAT: Mush! Mush!
JUNIOR: (falls on top of King Cat and Slave Dog) Aw, shucks! I don't see any surprise around here. Ooh, sometimes that Black Bart makes me so mad!
KING CAT: (suddenly saw a brick about to fall on Junior) Rats! (quickly pushes Junior out of the way, but the brick falls on King Cat, then Slave Dog removes the brick on top of King Cat)
JUNIOR: Hey, you shoved me!
KING CAT: I like to do more than shove ya'! I'd like to...
JUNIOR: (humming as he went inside a hall, not knowing a stick of dynamite landing next to him)
KING CAT: (saw a stick of dynamite) Huh? I wonder what this is? Oh well, whatever it is, it probably hasn't been invented yet. (explosion was heard) Then again, what do I know?
(Later, Junior's funeral has happened and King Cat was sealed inside the temple with Junior)
KING CAT: All dressed up and no place to go, huh Junior? What am I laughing about? I should be conserving oxygen. These crypts are air tight. I only have enough air to last about... Let see this crypt is about by let see a foot ceiling. (humming) I'll run out of air in ruffly years.
SLAVE DOG: (finally found King Cat by removing a stone of the temple)
KING CAT: (saw Slave Dog) Slave Dog! Boy am I glade to see you.
SLAVE DOG: (unravels King Cat with his mouth)
KING CAT: I'll see to it theirs a little something extra in your next pay check. I owe you one, ol' buddy. If theirs anything I can ever do for you just let me know. You know, Slave Dog, its friends like you that keep this tired old world going round.
(Later, Slave Dog took over King Cat's place while Black Bart took over Junior's seat)
BLACK BART: Be a good dog and run over to the pyramids to see how things are going.
SLAVE DOG: (cracks his whip at King Cat)
KING CAT: Yes sir. Right away sir. Anything you wish sir. Your wish is my command sir. I'd like to meet you in a dark alley sometime sir.
SLAVE DOG: (barking as the second segment ends)
GARFIELD: My third life was my favorite. My body grew old, but I never, never, never grew up.
(The segment of the third life is called "In The Garden")
CHLOE: Yellow and orange skies filled with magic butterflies made the morning a memory. These were the mornings Chloe and the orange kitten liked best. It seemed like it was always summer in the garden. Uncle Todd built the garden during a very intense period of just having fun. He was known for that. Singing and dancing and being every bit a prankster. He and the sun laughed a lot.
UNCLE TODD: (uses one of his paints to turn himself into a clown)
CHLOE: (narrating) Uncle Todd joined the circus, one spring, and sort of willed the garden to Chloe and the orange kitten. From then on, the spirit of Uncle Todd seemed to loom over the plot. Like a great laughing apparition. This was not the normal garden you might imagine... no. It was inspired by the love of life and the even greater love of living it. The garden had a few of the more identifiable features of course like plants and rocks and some bad things. But the things they really enjoyed were not of the norm. Designed into the garden were things like tubes, globes, and orbs of the bubble and vinyl persuasion. The hovering harmonica, the skimming disk made jingle sounds as they glided from point to point. Their life with syncopated rhythms filled the air. The great part was as Chloe and the kitten moved from one area of the garden to another the environment would change. All the areas were for fun making but only a special love and understanding would make the garden work. They had a very strong bond. A rare and valuable treasure called friendship. It was a magic life, an easy life. A good life. There was only one condition. Before Uncle Todd joined the circus, he left the two a crystal box on a checkered toadstool. He told them never to open the crystal box. Chloe and the kitten were not used to rules! This "never open the crystal box on the checkered toadstool" rule was new to them.
CHLOE & THE KITTEN: (goes over the checkered toadstool)
CHLOE: And as all children all want to do. Chloe and the kitten were overcome with curiosity. They poked at the crystal box. Sniffed it. And gazed longingly at the simple to open latch. There is something very special about a box that is not to be opened. Finally they decided to take action. They decided not to open it. Ha, they thought right by the crystal box never to give it another thought. They loved Uncle Todd very much and were grateful for the garden. And they lived happily forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.
(The third segment ends)
GARFIELD: I learned to think on my feet in my fourth life. Thinking was okay, I guess, but now I avoid it whenever possible.
(The segment of the fourth life is called "Court Musician")
GARFIELD: (as the blue cat; narrating) The year is 1720. I am the cat of the court musician to King George I. My owner is a fellow named George Frederick Handel. I sit around and watch Freddie write music for George's dinner parties. Freddie's putting the finishing touches on a fugue for a big bash tonight.
JESTER: Hello Frrreddie, what have we here?
FREDDIE: Oh, go away, Jester! I must have this fugue done for tonight or the king will have my neck.
JESTER: Fugue! Fugue you say! This is a very important occasion. George is expecting a concerto don't you know.
FREDDIE: A concerto?
JESTER: Is there an echo? That's right governor. He's expecting a concerto.
FREDDIE: Ooh, there's not time! I cant possible finish a concerto by this evening.
JESTER: Aw, that's too bad. Oh well, if we can't enjoy a concert tonight, we'll have fun at the execution!
FREDDIE: Execution!
JESTER: There's that echo again. Oh well, ta-ta, Freddie, your concerto had better be good. You know how Georgie hates to be disappointed.
FREDDIE: Here cat! I will take the first movement, und' the second movement, und you do the finale. Write fast! There's not much time.
(Later)
JESTER: Your Majesty. Your Majestress. For your listing pleasure this evening. It is my pleasure to present Frrreddie and his chamber quartet, who will play for you an original concerto or so we hope. On this very auspicious occasion. Frrreddie, if you please.
FREDDIE: (composed the first movement)
JESTER: (makes sure Freddie fails and begins to make plans for the execution)
FREDDIE: (composed the second movement)
JESTER: (shows some slideshows about the execution)
FREDDIE: (suddenly composed the third movement as the concerto)
KING GEORGE I: (likes the third movement as a concerto, much to Jester's disappointment)
GARFIELD: (as the blue cat; narrating) After that night, I never wrote any more music. Had I stuck with it, there would have been the recording contracts, the concerts, the agents, the managers, the roadies, the groupies, it sounded like a lot of work to me.
(The fourth segment ends)
GARFIELD: (as a colorless cat) Life No. 5 was short...
DIRECTOR: (offscreen) Hey, cat! Your wanted on the set.
GARFIELD: I'll be right back.
(The segment of the fifth life is called "Stunt Cat")
DIRECTOR: Cut! Stunt cat.
KRAZY KAT: (left the scene)
STUNT CAT: (came in)
DIRECTOR: Action!
IGNATZ: (drops a load of bricks on Stunt Cat)
DIRECTOR: That's a wrap.
GARFIELD: (came in, now colored) Six must be my lucky number, because that's the life I fell in love with music. I also fell in love with a girl who played the piano just for me.
(The segment of the sixth life is called "Diana's Piano")
OLD SARA: Oh, what a pretty day. Would you like to hear a cat story Patches?
PATCHES: (mewing)
OLD SARA: Well, I'm going to tell you anyway. My eighth birthday turned out to be one of the most memorable days of my life. That was the day I got a new kitten and I took my first piano lesson. Oh, I remember it as if it were yesterday. I was siting at the kitchen table having breakfast, when my mother came into the room.
SARA'S MOTHER: Happy birthday, Sara! I have something for you.
DIANA: Meow.
YOUNG SARA: A kitten! Thank you, Mommy.
SARA'S MOTHER: If you take good care of your kitten Sara, it will be a good, good friend for a long time to come.
OLD SARA: (narrating) Mother suggested that I name my new kitten, Diana, after the Roman goddess of the hunt.
SARA'S MOTHER: Sara, I have another birthday surprise for you. This is Mrs. Underwood. She's going to give you piano lessons.
YOUNG SARA: Aw, Mom, I wanna play with Diana.
SARA'S MOTHER: Come along Sara. Someday, your going to thank me for this.
MRS. UNDERWOOD: Alright Sara, let's begin.
DIANA: Meow. (falls inside the piano)
YOUNG SARA: Diana! Are you alright?
DIANA: Meow!
OLD SARA: (narrating) During the next few months, I worked very hard at my piano lessons. Every time I sat down to play, I would feel this little paw on my foot. Diana was so tiny, she couldn't get up on the piano by herself. I wanted to be a better piano player because Diana always seemed to sense when I hit a wrong note.
DIANA: Meow!
(Years later)
OLD SARA: (narrating) In just a few years, I was becoming, by Diana's standards, a fairly good pianist. Diana loved my music and never seemed happier than when I was playing. Those were happy days. I remember the sunshine, soft summer breezes and the fun Diana and I had. It seemed as though Diana had been part of my life, forever. I had even promised Diana, we would never, ever part. Then came the day I left for college.
DIANA: Mew.
OLD SARA: (narrating) That was a sad day. I didn't know who I was going to miss more. My parents or Diana. Although I was a young woman by the time I graduated from college, the little girl in me was still eager to be with Diana once again. By that time, my world had changed. There were more people in my life than Diana and my parents.
DIANA: Meow.
OLD SARA: (narrating) And I don't know that Diana approved.
DIANA: Meow.
ADULT SARA: Mother, Father, Lee and I have decided to marry.
SARA'S MOTHER: That's wonderful dear.
DIANA: Rowr!
LEE: Ouch!
ADULT SARA: Diana. You'd better pack your bags old girl. Your going to be moving soon. Your coming with me.
OLD SARA: (narrating) My parents had given Lee and me the piano as a wedding present. We really didn't have room for it, but it was our most important piece of furniture. When little Billy came along, Diana found a new friend. I don't think Diana minded, too much. By now Diana was fourteen. Diana could no longer make it on her own to the top of the piano. But fortunately, neither could little Billy. That evening, I could tell Diana wasn't feeling well. So, I put Billy to bed early and performed a whole concert, just for Diana. I'd never played better. When I finished, Diana didn't want to leave the piano.
ADULT SARA: Goodnight Diana.
OLD SARA: (narrating) Sometime during the night, Diana managed to get down onto the keyboard. She laid down, put her face on her folded paws and quietly passed away. It was Diana's testament to her love for my music. (to Patches) Would you like me to play something for you, Patches?
PATCHES: (mewing)
OLD SARA: (sighs) It's just as well.
(The sixth segment ends)
GARFIELD: (came in, wearing a lab coat) In my seventh life, I was a laboratory animal. To this day, every time I see a test tube, I throw up.
(The segment of the seventh life is called "Lab Animal". In a labortory of the military)
SCIENTIST: Hold on to that cat good and tight now, Larry. Easy now fella, easy there.
19-GB: (struggling as he mewing painfully)
SCIENTIST: I don't know about you, Larry, but these experiments sound like something out of a horror movie to me.
LARRY: All I know is if this research goes bad, I'm going to put plenty of distance between me and this laboratory.
19-GB: (suddenly dozed off)
(Later)
SCIENTIST: Larry, get 19-GB ready for dissection. We'll see if it's experienced any preliminary organ modification.
LARRY: (tries to get 19-GB out, but the cat escaped, attacking him)
SCIENTIST: Get that cat!
LARRY: I'm trying! I'm trying!
19-GB: (made many successful escapes until he falls into the river, and as he did, he turns into a dog; howling)
(Later)
MAN 1: Anybody been down this hill?
MAN 2: Way over there by the hedgerow.
MAN 3: Okay, look over here.
MAN 1: (saw a lot of dogs, but never found 19-GB) Let's call it off, guys! We'll never find him now.
(The seventh segment ends as 19-GB's eyes shines)
GARFIELD: (came in with a pillow) All that I ever was made me what I am in my eighth life. Somehow it's falling short of my expectations...
(The segment of the eighth life is called "Garfield". On June 19, 1978, at the kitchen of the Italian restaurant)
GARFIELD'S MOTHER: Welcome to the world, little fella. I think I'll call you Garfield.
YOUNG GARFIELD: I'm hungry. Where are we, Mom?
GARFIELD'S MOTHER: In the kitchen of an Italian restaurant.
YOUNG GARFIELD: Are Italians good to eat? Oof!
GARFIELD'S MOTHER: You have a lot to learn Garfield.
YOUNG GARFIELD: Garfield the newborn kitten is getting ready to rub up against his first leg. On my mark... Get set... Rub up.
WAITER: Whoa!
YOUNG GARFIELD: (ate the lasagna) I think I'm gonna like this thing called "eating." Pasta... infinite mountains of pasta. Garfield one, fettuccine nothing. This spaghetti could stand to be cooked a little longer.
WAITER: Comea' witha' mea' kitty. You eatena' me outta my business. I'ma' taken you kitty to the pet shop. I can't let him stay here.
GARFIELD'S MOTHER: No, you can't take him. He's too young.
YOUNG GARFIELD: Aw, come on, Mom. I'm a big boy. I'm five minutes old now. Besides I'm getting tired of hanging around the house all the time.
GARFIELD'S MOTHER: Take care of yourself little boy. I love you.
YOUNG GARFIELD: I love you too, Mom. And thanks for everything you've done for me. I'll write when I get a chance.
(Later at the pet shop)
YOUNG GARFIELD: Thanks for the ride. Hi guys. So, what's the program here?
CAT: Oh, it's simple, all you have to do is look cute. Someone comes in, buys you, and takes you home.
YOUNG GARFIELD: That shouldn't take long.
CAT: Don't count on it. Old Eli been here seventeen years.
OLD ELI: I'm cute, take me home.
YOUNG GARFIELD: (saw Young Odie) Aah! What's that?
CAT: Oh that... That's a dog. People actually buy them and take them home as pets.
JON ARBUCKLE: (came in) Hello there, I'd like to buy a cat.
YOUNG GARFIELD: Take me, take me. I'll catch you mice, fetch your paper, scratch your back, take me.
JON ARBUCKLE: Well, this one seems friendly. (gives the money to the pet shopkeeper)
YOUNG GARFIELD: I sleep till noon, and I desire my milk tepid. I require three daily scratching and I eat a pasta base diet. No substitutions.
(Years later)
JON ARBUCKLE: How are you this morning, Garfield?
GARFIELD: I'm in a good mood. I let the mailman live. (spits)
JON ARBUCKLE: Uh... sit down Garfield. I... I have something to tell you.
GARFIELD: I am sitting down.
JON ARBUCKLE: Y-you must be lonely. I think you need a playmate.
GARFIELD: Not really, I have my mirror.
JON ARBUCKLE: So I bought a dog.
GARFIELD: (panicking) Aah!! Oh no! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
JON ARBUCKLE: Your taking it rather badly Garfield.
GARFIELD: I think I'm OK now. Where is this "dog"?
ODIE: (barking)
JON ARBUCKLE: Garfield, meet Odie.
GARFIELD: Argh!
ODIE: (barks as he licks Garfield)
GARFIELD: It's not a dog, it's a tongue with eyeballs and feet. It's as though I know Odie from a former life. A bad one.
(Later)
GARFIELD: Well, it's taken a lot of hard work, intimidation and abuse. But it was worth the effort to lay calm to my position as the rightful head of this household. Odie? Oh, Odie.
ODIE: (barking)
GARFIELD: Be a good boy and fetch my slippers.
ODIE: (fetch Garfield's slippers in the wrong feet)
GARFIELD: They're on the wrong feet dummy.
ODIE: (switches the slippers the opposite way)
GARFIELD: Now run fetch my owner.
JON ARBUCKLE: You called, master?
GARFIELD: Ain't life great.
JON ARBUCKLE: I assume you would like to have lunch now.
GARFIELD: Yes, and I desire a picnic on the lawn.
JON ARBUCKLE: You want what?!?
GARFIELD: Read my lips, Jon! I want to eat outside today.
JON ARBUCKLE: Very well, sir.
GARFIELD: It's hard to find good help. (hears the ice cream truck) C'mon Odie. It's the ice cream truck.
ODIE: (grabs Garfield by the tail)
GARFIELD: You must have a death wish fella. (was about to clobber Odie until he saw the truck about to run him over) If Odie hadn't stopped me, I would've been a cat pancake. A pavement pelt. A sail cat. A greasy spot on Main Street.
ODIE: (whimpering)
GARFIELD: You saved my life, old buddy. Listen, I may not be wildly successful in this life, Odie, but at least I'm alive to live it. And that means something. I'll forever be grateful to you Odie. I'll never forget this.
ODIE: Arf.
(Years later)
OLD GARFIELD: Gather round children, it's story time. It was back in the 80's or... or was it the 90's? Who cares. At any rate, I was the big TV celebrity. Head of Mouser, of some note. Well sir, one day, Odie and I spotted the ice cream truck across the street. As Odie was just about to run into the street, I saw this big truck a coming. I had determined that Odie was going to be seriously hurt if he crossed the street. And so, I wrestled him to the ground, at the last minute, before the truck came rushing by and squashed him.
OLD ODIE: (growls in dismay as the eighth segment ends)
GARFIELD: I'd like to think I'll live forever, but hey, I'm only human. Here's a sneak preview of my ninth life.
(The segment of the ninth life is called "Space Cat". In outer space)
SPACE CAT: Space... One thing to be said for space, there sure is a lot of it out there. So, what do you do with space? You can take part in grand intergalactic battles that encompass whole solar systems. Or you can bravely forge new worlds of exploration by traveling through uncharted territory. Or you can get lost. Me... I'm lost. Finding out where the heck I am is still secondary though. What I wanna know is, why am I here?
COMPUTER VOICE: Welcome to space, Mr. Cat. I suppose you are wondering why you are here.
SPACE CAT: A keen grasp of the obvious.
COMPUTER VOICE: Well, it is really quite simple. You see, all we require is that you survive, Mr. Cat. We are monitoring the survival instincts of a cat in his last life.
SPACE CAT: In his la... Wha... last life?
COMPUTER VOICE: As you are well aware, a cat has nine lives.
SPACE CAT: And ah, don't tell me... I'm living life number nine.
COMPUTER VOICE: I tell it like it is, baby cakes.
SPACE CAT: Well, that's just great. Somehow my lives didn't mean so much when I had a few of them to burn. So here I am in the one that really counts, and they stick me in the middle of nowhere in this time bomb. Well, I better gather my wits about me. My survival sounds like a job for O.D.I.E.! My Operations Data Index Element. It's the smartest machine in the galaxy. Hey, O.D.I.E., index and read all variables for my survival and give me a progressive plan.
O.D.I.E.: Arf.
SPACE CAT: "Arf" he says. O.D.I.E. must have been built by the lowest bidder. Well, I guess it's up to me now. Just what do I have on hand to survive with. Let's see. I have food, water, artificial gravity, and sand. Well, time to start surviving. Let's eat. (tries some pie and coffee, but it was a disaster) Rats! Oh well, everything tasted like lettuce anyway.
O.D.I.E.: Arf. Arf, arf.
SPACE CAT: Okay, O.D.I.E., what is it? (accidentally switched the gravity machine on) Hey! Where's gravity when you need it?
O.D.I.E.: Arf. Arf, arf.
SPACE CAT: What are you trying to say O.D.I.E.? (suddenly saw the I-H-G-W-F outside) Uh-oh.
MENDELSON: Hey, you, kitty cat.
SPACE CAT: What??? Who???
MENDELSON: I'm Commander Mendelson, leader of the Incredibly Huge Galactic War Fleet. The I-H-G-W-F for short. We do not like you being here. And to show you we mean business. We will atomize your craft in minutes. Any questions? I said, "any questions?"!
SPACE CAT: Only answers Mack. Here, take this! (suddenly, his weapon has been de-clawed) I've been de-clawed. Hey, eh, guys. Could you give me just a little more time. This place is a fright, and I couldn't meet my maker looking like this. Come on, have a heart.
MENDELSON: I'm sorry, we of the I-H-G-W-F, have no hearts. We do however appreciate the tiny ship. We will give you seven minutes instead of five.
SPACE CAT: Gee, thanks. There's not much time, I need more hands. That's it, hands. If I could just get over to the crew cloner here, I'll clone a crew mate. (creates a clone that looks like O.D.I.E.) I hate vending machines.
MENDELSON: Six minutes.
SPACE CAT: Hey, Odie, we got to do something about this gravity.
ODIE: (gets an idea about the gravity machine)
SPACE CAT: That’s it, the gravity machine. Pull the handle.
ODIE: (pulls the handle as the gravity went off)
SPACE CAT: That’s better. Just when things look bleak something goes right.
ODIE: (creates a lot of clones that looks like him)
SPACE CAT: The plot thickens.
MENDELSON: Five minutes!
SPACE CAT: Now to get those guns working. (then Odie's clones get into his way) Get outta' here. Shoo, shoo. Get back. Why don't you guys play in traffic or something. (gets an idea) That’s it! Odie, take these guys down to the launch platform. Put these clones in the drones. We'll launch an all-out attack on Commander Mendelson. And his igwa-waga-haga-waga... Whatever. Hurry! Okay, Commander. Brace yourself! This cat has a thing or two up his sleeve.
ODIE: (placing the clones inside the drones)
SPACE CAT: Odie, are the drones in place for launching?
ODIE: Arf.
SPACE CAT: Commander Mendelson, Commander Mendelson, are you there?
MENDELSON: You have three minutes.
SPACE CAT: What happened to four minutes?
MENDELSON: Well, I eh...
SPACE CAT: You what?
MENDELSON: I had to go to the little boys' room.
SPACE CAT: I have a surprise for you commander. Take this!
(But Mendelson already sent a fire hydrate for the drones to fetch)
SPACE CAT: Now I really got to get those guns working.
MENDELSON: One minute.
SPACE CAT: Boy what a day. Lost, no food, a twit for a computer, an imbecile for a crew mate, but no matter. I'm a hero and heroes don't die. We always win our space battles. This oughta do it.
MENDELSON: Zero! (atomizes Space Cat's craft and destroys Space Cat and Odie)
SPACE CAT: (before dying) Nice touch.
(Meanwhile, after Garfield and Odie dies, they appear colorless and saw God)
GOD: Names?
GARFIELD: Ah... My name is Garfield, and this is my friend, Odie.
GOD: I understand you boys had a rough go of it in your last life.
GARFIELD: Yes sir, and that’s why I'm here, frankly. I know cats have nine lives and I certainly appreciate the opportunity to have them... I don't think it was fair for anyone to put us in the position we were in. And I'm sorry, but that’s the way it is.
GOD: You're right.
GARFIELD: But sir, I... I'm right???
GOD: Yes, you are. You may have your life back. Ooh, by the way, which life was that?
GARFIELD: You mean... w-which life of my nine was that?
GOD: Yes.
GARFIELD: You mean you don't keep track?
GOD: Normally, I do, but our computers are on the blink right now.
GARFIELD: Why that was my um... My first life sir.
GOD: Very well, and you're entitled to all nine lives. And your friend there, is he a cat too?
GARFIELD: Well... Yeah. Yeah, he is.
ODIE: Meow.
GOD: Then so be it. (gave Garfield and Odie all nine lives back) You both have all nine lives. (Garfield and Odie vanishes as God's cat eyes appears) We have to stick together, you know.
The End