The following is a list of memorable quotes from Garfield.
- "Big fat hairy deal."
- "Nice touch."
- "I hate Mondays."
- "Who ever [phrase] should be dragged out into the street and shot."
- "We're bachelors, baby."
- "Feed me."
- "Eat your heart out, [person]."
- "I'm not overweight. I'm undertall."
- "I'm not known for my compassion."
- "I love lasagna."
- "Diet is 'die' but with a t."
- "Christmas: It's not the giving. It's not the getting. It's the loving."
- "It's not that I dislike you, I just don't like you near me."
- "Show me a good mouser and I'll show you a cat with bad breath."
- "Yeah Brick, don't hurt them!"
- "I've got to do something."
- "Trust me, you don't want to know."
- "Momma ? Umm... I don't know, Penelope..."
- "Be still my beating heart."
- "Actually, He's the Cuddly, Silent type."
- "When I want in, I want in now!"
- "I hate birthdays."
- "Love me, feed me, never leave me."