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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode begins one day above Jon’s house. A bird flies away from the open second-story windowsill, and Nermal is inside watching TV in Garfield’s chair with a bowl of popcorn between his feet)
Woman on TV: I see him! He’s wearing a hat! (Nermal munches on some popcorn)
Nermal: Chewing noises (Garfield walks up) Hiya, Garfield!
Garfield: Grrrr! (He shakes his arms angrily, scowling at the kitten)
Nermal: You know, (He wiggles his toes and puts his paws behind his head) there’s nothing better than sitting in an easy chair with a bowl of popcorn (He gestures to the bowl and holds his finger up) and watching your favorite TV show! Laughs (Garfield promptly kicks him out) WHAAA! (He lands in the trash can) Oof! (It tips over and spills him out, covered in garbage) Groan…
(Back inside, Garfield clicks a button on the remote, taking the same position that Nermal was just in)
Garfield: He’s right. There’s nothing better than sitting in an easy chair with a bowl of popcorn (He eats some) and watching your favorite TV show, (He glances at the viewers) which I assume you’re all doing that right now. (He winks)
(Outside, Nermal shouts at Garfield)
Nermal: You’ll be sorry you did that, Garfield! (A swarm of flies starts surrounding the kitten) Real sorry! (He sees the flies and panics) Whimper (He flees the flies) Yah!
(In the kitchen, Jon and Odie are heading toward the living room. Jon has a mug in his hand)
Jon: Hums (Beneath him, Squeak is nonchalantly walking by, piece of cheese in his paw)
Squeak: Hums
Jon: Huh? (He sees the rodent) Ah! AAAAAHHH! (He leaps in horror at the sight of Squeak)
(Cut to Odie and Garfield, the latter of whom is still watching TV)
Jon: Mouse! Garfield!
Odie: Huh? (He turns to his feline friend) Huh?
Jon: (terrified) There’s a mouse in the kitchen!!!
Garfield: (casually) Don’t worry, he won’t eat much. (Jon hangs on the ceiling light)
Jon: Garfield! Come save me from the awful, ugly, horrible mouse! (Squeak is just standing there, nibbling on his cheese and watching the spectacle)
Squeak: You’re not exactly (He points) the best looking creature on the planet either, pal. (Garfield and Odie cover their ears. Jon’s screaming is so loud it causes Garfield’s toes to curl)
Jon: HE-E-E-E-ELP!
Garfield: Guess I gotta do this. (He kicks himself off the chair and heads for the kitchen)
Jon: Get rid of it! Get rid of it! Get rid of it! Get rid of it! (By now, both pets are in the kitchen, standing next to Squeak)
Garfield: He sounds like me when Nermal visits. (They both watch Jon swing on the light fixture)
Odie: Awww. (Garfield puts his paw to his mouth and whispers something to Squeak)
Garfield: Hey do you remember routine #8?
Squeak: (sing-songy) My favorite! (Garfield begins “chasing” Squeak around the kitchen, though it’s obvious by their tones that it’s all an act) Help! Help!
Garfield: Row!
Squeak: (continuing) I should have known better than to enter a house when Garfield the Cat is on patrol! (He returns to his hole)
Garfield: Leave this home, (He wags one finger at Squeak and points outside with another) and never come back! (Squeak hurries outside, with suitcases in his paws)
Squeak: I am leaving, and I will never be back as long as Garfield the Cat is here!
Garfield: Snickers
Odie: Huh? (He watches Squeak as he hurries out the back pet door) Pants (Once outside, Squeak makes sure he isn’t followed and then camps out in the shed. Jon is relieved to have the mouse gone)
Jon: Relieved sigh. Thanks, Garfield. (The lamp he is hanging on to falls) Whoa! Oof!
(Inside the shed, Squeak is chillaxing with his cheese)
Squeak: (to the viewers) Routine #8! (He polishes off the last of the cheese) Chewing noises
(With the “threat” gone, Garfield returns to his chair and the popcorn. Odie gnaws on a bone in front of him and Jon walks up)
Jon: I don’t know what it is. Ever since I was a child, I've had this fear of mice. (Just then, an advertisement catches Jon’s and the pets’ attentions)
Dr. Whipple: Have you had a fear of mice ever since you were a child?
All: Huh? (They all stop and stare at the TV, and so does the camera)
Dr. Whipple: Or a fear of heights, flying, public speaking, snakes, or people named Sid? (They all watch intensely)
Odie: Huh?
Dr. Whipple: (continuing) Then come to Dr. Whipple's Fear and Phobia Fighting Facility! (The Anchorwoman from the news gives a report)
Anchorwoman: Dr. Whipple's Fear and Phobia Fighting Facility can cure over 10,000 common fears, including spatulaphobia.
Dr. Whipple: Fear of sitting on a grilled cheese sandwich.
Anchorwoman: Voldobiodophobia. (She holds up her finger)
Dr. Whipple: The fear of finding raisins in your coleslaw.
Garfield: Oh, (His toes curl at the thought) that one keeps ME up at night.
Anchorwoman: Or even zizzabottawaddawaddaboinkboinkfreebaphobia. (Fans of the original show Garfield and Friends might find that name familiar)
Dr. Whipple: The fear of accidentally moving your ENTIRE family to Peru and becoming a wheelbarrow repairman.
Garfield: (to the viewers) You’d be amazed at how often that happens.
Odie: Huh?
Anchorwoman: (holding a finger up) No matter WHAT you’re afraid of, Dr. Whipple can cure you at his Fear and Phobia Fighting Facility!
Jon: Hm. That's it, Garfield! (Jon points at the TV. His suddenness startles Garfield, and he spills his popcorn everywhere. The bowl itself lands on Garfield’s head) I’m going to go to Dr. Whipple’s Fear and Phobia Fighting Facility and have him cure me of my fear of mice! (He disappears. Odie and Garfield look in the direction where he went)
Garfield: I wonder if Dr. Whipple can cure me of the fear of what’s gonna go wrong with this. (He holds his finger up)
(Later that day, Jon and the pets are at Dr. Whipple’s office. Several cars and people pass by the building casually)
Dr. Whipple: (from inside) Of course I can cure your fear of mice, Mr. Arbuckle. While I'm at it, I'll also cure you of hugesumaphobia. (Cut to inside. Dr. Whipple and his assistant Sandra are standing with Jon, Garfield, and Odie. Garfield is standing on tiptoe–his tail swaying behind him–to see the fear removing device on the table)
Jon: Uh, hugesumaphobia? Uh, what’s that?
Dr. Whipple: (holding his finger up) That’s the fear of getting my bill.
Garfield: (nodding) Ah, that’s a wise thought.
Dr. Whipple: This is my phobia flusher! (He gestures to the machine on the table. It looks somewhat like a ray gun with lots of buttons and three spiky balls attached to it)
Jon: Whimper
Dr. Whipple: It can remove or also give you any known phobia. Let’s see, I'll set it to remove, (He presses a red button. Garfield and Odie watch silently) and to musophobia–that’s the fear of mice– (It actually is. It’s not made up like the other phobias) and then, we just give you a few seconds of it. (He points it at Jon)
Jon: Whimper (Whipple zaps him with the machine. Garfield ducks, covering his head, and the table gets knocked over) AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Dr. Whipple: Cackles (He turns the device off) And now you should be unafraid of mice. Let’s test it. Sandra?
Sandra: Huh? Oh…
(They test Jon. He sits on a couch next to Garfield, Odie, and Dr. Whipple. Sandra holds a picture of a mouse in front of him)
Jon: Whimpers (He opens his eyes) I’m… I’m not afraid. Garfield, (He leans over the couch’s edge) I'm not afraid of mice!
Dr. Whipple: Laughs
(With that problem solved, Jon and the pets leave. Garfield and Odie smile and Jon stretches, celebrating his new lease on life)
Jon: (pointing and glaring at Garfield) Now just because I'm no longer afraid of mice doesn’t change your job. I still don’t wanna see ANY in the house!
Garfield: I’ll tell them to do a better job of hiding.
(Upstairs, Dr. Whipple looks out of his window down at Jon and the pets. Sandra walks up behind him reading a book)
Sandra: It says here that a fear of CATS is called gatophobia.
Dr. Whipple: That’s right!
Sandra: Just out of curiosity, (She closes the book and tucks it under her arm) what would happen if you implanted a fear of cats onto a cat? (She points at the floor. The doctor zips over to his fear-erasing machine on the table)
Dr. Whipple: Hmm… I don't know. Let’s try it and find out. (He walks over to the window, device in hand) Let’s see, “Add fear, (He presses a button and the machine activates) Gatophobia.” (He charges it up and points it out the open window at an unsuspecting Garfield, who is walking behind Jon and Odie)
Jon: I should’ve gotten that other fear removed, I'm getting scared of his bill. (The machine charges up and Whipple zaps Garfield with it)
Garfield: YAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Pants (He looks around) What? Who? (He shrugs) Hm. (and continues on his way. Whipple turns the machine off and sets it back onto the table)
Dr. Whipple: I’ll follow him and (He holds his finger up) record the findings of my little experiment. (He zips away)
Sandra: Wow! (She puts her finger to her chin, thinking) A cat who’s afraid of cats. I wonder what that will be like.
(Back at Jon’s house, Jon and Odie reach the doorway first. Odie trots inside, while Jon turns around and addresses Garfield, who is on the front sidewalk)
Jon: (pointing up) I’m going to go start cooking dinner.
Garfield: Great. Whatever you’re making, make more of it than that. (Jon closes the door behind him. Harry emerges from the trash can and Garfield turns to look at him)
Harry: Hiya, Garfield. (He makes the peace sign with his paw)
Garfield: Oh hi, Harry. Hey how ya- (The effects of the machine kick in. He leaps into the air, arms and legs straightened out, his toes spread apart, screaming in fear) YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He runs around the yard and right past the trash can, spinning it slightly)
Harry: Whoa! (Garfield runs up the light pole and clings to it for dear life) Garfield, what are you doing up there?
Garfield: Whimpers Go away! Just go away! I’m not coming down ‘til you go away!
Harry: (dejectedly) Alright, alright, I’m going away. (He hops out of the trash can and walks down the sidewalk looking sad) Gee, I always thought Garfield liked me. (Dr. Whipple peeks out from behind a parked car, recording the events on a video camera)
Dr. Whipple: Chuckles This footage will be GREAT for my TV show! (He turns the camera to Garfield, who is still up on the rocking light pole. The pole itself slows to a stop and Garfield wipes his brow, relieved that Harry is gone)
Garfield: Whew! (He sits upright, promptly loses his balance and falls off) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He lands with a thud, headfirst, into a trash can) In my moment of panic, I forgot I'm not good at climbing, (His toes twitch, as if electrocuted) especially DOWN! (Just then, Arlene skips up the sidewalk)
Arlene: I can’t wait until Garfield sees this new lip gloss I got! I’m sure he’s going to LOVE it! (By now, Garfield has turned himself right-side up and is struggling to free himself from the can)
Garfield: Strains
Arlene: There you are, Garfield.
Garfield: Huh? (He looks at her)
Arlene: How do you like the way I look today? (She blinks. Garfield’s reaction is terrified)
Garfield: Yoo-hoo-hoo! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Arlene: Gasp! (Garfield hops away, still inside the can as if in a potato sack race, just replace the potato sacks with trash cans. Streams of tears pour out of Arlene’s eyes) Cries C’mon, I’ve got to get rid of this lip gloss! It must make me look like a monster! (She runs down the sidewalk, covering her face and crying) Cries (She doesn’t notice Dr. Whipple as she runs by)
Dr. Whipple: Chuckles (He points the camera in Garfield’s direction and follows)
(Meanwhile, Garfield has reached the big city and bounces away from a cat similar to him in shape and size, except this cat is a deep chocolate color)
Garfield: YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He springs down an alley, only to stop in front of Bruno, Lucky, and Myron, who are all scavenging through the trash for food) Yoo-hoo-hoo! YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (Again, Garfield flees, leaving the other three cats dumbfounded as to why he acted like that)
Bruno: You understand any of that?
Lucky and Myron: Overlapping chatter (Most of it is some variant of “No.” Garfield then runs to a pet shop)
Garfield: Whimpers (He sees Spring, Summer, and Autumn, the kittens who debuted in Season 2’s Home for the Holidays, in the window)
Spring, Summer, and Autumn: Giggle (They notice Garfield in the window) Huh? (The fat cat is, of course, terrified)
Garfield: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He zips away. Dr. Whipple follows, still recording on his camera)
Dr. Whipple: Laughs (Garfield then skids to a stop into another cat holding a mirror)
Garfield: Yoo-hoo-hoo! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He swipes the mirror from her paw and looks at himself) Grunt! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (He drops the mirror, which is caught by the other cat, and then screams in terror before running off) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Whipple is still following, while this other cat looks at the viewers, confused)
(Back at Jon’s house, Nermal is enjoying his new lease on life, mainly because Garfield is gone. He sits on the chair watching TV)
Nermal: Well, at least when Garfield’s not around, I can watch TV (He grabs his toes) without getting hurled into a trash can! (He looks at the audience) I assume you’re all doing that right now. (Nermal watches Dr. Whipple’s show on TV)
Dr. Whipple: Coming up later today on The Dr. Whipple Show, I show you how I instilled a fear of cats into a cat. (The TV shows Garfield’s latest interaction with a cat) Here you see the specimen frightened by every cat he sees, including himself.
Nermal: Huh. (He smiles, the gears turning in his brain. Squeak watches with him from the floor)
Squeak: Garfield?
Garfield: YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Nermal: Cackles (He wiggles his toes) This is my chance to get even with Garfield at last! (He flops backwards on the chair. At that moment, Garfield bursts inside through the pet door)
Garfield: Grunt! (He wipes the sweat from his brow) I hope I don't run into any cats, (He tugs his ear) including myself.
Nermal: Hello, Garfield! Meow! (Nermal wiggles his fingers at him. Garfield leaps and screams)
Garfield: YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! (He races back outside)
Nermal: Cackles evilly (He taps his fingers against themselves and grins sinisterly)
(Garfield, meanwhile was in the park, leaning against a tree, trying to catch his breath)
Garfield: Pants I’m never happy to see Nermal, (He holds his finger up) but that encounter (He waves his paw in a “no” motion) was worse than ever!
Nermal: How about this one? (Garfield is caught off-guard by Nermal’s sudden appearance. He looks up and sees the kitten hanging on a tree limb by his tail like a monkey)
Garfield: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (He flees)
Nermal: Laughs (He lets go of the tree…) Whimper (and falls to the ground)
(Later, Nermal is chasing Garfield through the city)
Garfield: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Nermal: Giggles Oh this is GREAT! (Garfield stops at the corner where Vito’s is and breathlessly runs across the street)
Garfield: Wheezes (He runs into an alley and finds cover behind a dumpster) I need a place to hide! Pant! Where can I hide? (Nermal opens the dumpster lid and peeks out of it)
Nermal: How about in here with me?
Garfield: Sure. I'll just hide in… (The delayed reaction kicks in. He points and screams) YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Nermal: Chuckles (Instead of fleeing, Garfield trembles in terror, clinging to his head)
Garfield: Go away! Go away! Go away! (He lowers his head and starts bawling, clearly unable to take any more torment) Cries (Nermal looks at the viewers and points at his head, clearly implying that he thinks that Garfield has gone off the deep end. The kitten agrees, but with a catch)
Nermal: Oh I'll go away, Garfield, (He wags his finger at the weeping feline) if you promise never to mail me to Abu Dhabi (He points at Garfield) ever again! (Garfield rises to his knees and clasps his paws together, pleading with Nermal)
Garfield: But that’s my favorite thing! No, no, alright, I promise! (He points up with one paw and puts his other paw on his chest as he gets up) I’ll never mail you to Abu Dhabi again!
Nermal: Chuckles evilly (He leaves the alley, mirror in hand. He looks at himself and then leaves. Garfield shivers as he exits the alley, traumatized by the events of the day)
Garfield: Whimpers (Squeak runs up to him)
Squeak: There you are! What did Nermal make you do?
Garfield: Promise to never mail him to Abu Dhabi again. (Squeak flinches in reaction. Garfield looks at the ground) I don’t know why I was so afraid of him.
Squeak: Oh I can tell you why. Come here. (Garfield leans his ear toward Squeak as he indistinctly whispers what he saw on TV to Garfield)
Garfield: Hmm… (He stands upright, suddenly understanding his odd behavior) Dr. Whipple, huh? (He puts his paws together and taps his fingers) I think I'm gonna go borrow that invention of his.
(In Dr. Whipple’s office, Garfield peeks in through the open door. Sandra is about to leave)
Sandra: I’m heading home, Doctor. (Garfield shuffles around the open door, using it as cover so Sandra doesn’t see him) See you in the morning! (She closes the door)
Garfield: Whoo! (He tiptoes to the other room) Grr! (He has found the machine, along with a book that can help. He holds the machine in one paw and the book in the other) “Remove gatophobia, fear of cats.” (He tosses the book aside) Grunt! (He powers up the machine. He stands in front of a full-length mirror, and is freaked out by his reflection) YAAAAAAHHHH! (He leaps in the air, his toes spread apart, before collecting and zapping himself with it) ERRRRR! Doh! (He looks at his reflection again) I think I'm cured! Yes! (He grins and pumps his fist in celebration) I’m no longer afraid of me! (He rubs his chin, thinking) OK, now, (He rubs his paws together like an evil mastermind) let’s program a few fears in here for OTHER folks. (Dr. Whipple is in his office, doing some paperwork. Garfield stands in the doorway and points the machine at him) Snickers
Dr. Whipple: YAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (He rests his face on the open book in front of him. He looks around) Whimper (No one is around, so he goes back to his book)
(Back at the house, Garfield tiptoes to the back window, fear machine in hand, and looks through it)
Garfield: OK, Nermal, now it’s your turn! (Nermal has been sitting on the chair watching TV)
Nermal: Garfield will never bother me again! He won’t even come near me. (He gets hit by the fear gun) YAAAAHHHHHH! (He leaps in the air, his tongue sticking out and his toes apart, as he gets zapped) Grunt! And if he does, he’s promised never to mail me to Abu Dhabi again. Deep sigh… (He looks at his paw) YAAAHHH! (He looks around and then at his other paw) YAAAAAHHH! (Garfield emerges from behind the TV)
Garfield: Scared of something, Nermal? (He gets out from behind the TV, his tail swaying behind him. Nermal stands upright)
Nermal: Yes, but I don't know what!
Garfield: Maybe you have cute-ophobia.
Nermal: Cute-ophobia? What’s that?
Garfield: (pointing up) Fear of being too adorable.
Nermal: (leaping straight up) That’s it! (He gets off the chair and sprints upstairs) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Garfield: Snickers (Nermal has hidden himself under the bed, his tail swaying behind him)
Nermal: (shivering) What am I gonna do? I’m too adorable, and I always will be! (Garfield lifts the sheets to get a better look at the trembling kitten, his tail also swaying. Nermal looks at his paw) YAAAAHHHHHH!
Garfield: Not in Abu Dhabi. They have a different standard of adorable-ness over there.
Nermal: Well then send me to Abu Dhabi! (He grabs Garfield’s ankle, pleading with him)
Garfield: But I promised not to. (Nermal runs off and grabs a large box)
Nermal: I release you from your promise!
Garfield: Laughs (He smirks)
Nermal: Please, send me to Abu Dhabi! (He leaps into the box) Send me to Abu Dhabi! Send me to Abu Dhabi! Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi!
Garfield: Well, if you insist. (He winks at the viewers)
(Later, Garfield has sealed the box with Nermal inside and has it on the mail truck)
Nermal: (from inside the box) Sigh. I don’t know how to thank you for this, Garfield.
Garfield: Just staying there forever will do fine. (Herman Post closes the truck. Garfield holds his finger up) Here, 15th class cattle barge rate, please.
Nermal: (inside the box) YAAAHHHH! (Squeak walks up to his feline friend, who is grinning)
Squeak: Nicely done, Garf. you gonna return that invention to Dr. Whipple?
Garfield: (turning to Squeak) Sure. He’ll need it to remove (He holds his finger up) the fear I gave HIM. (The mail truck starts up and leaves. Garfield waves) Bye, Nermal! (He zips away) Grunt! (He and Squeak run inside. Garfield leaps onto his chair) It’s a new one I invented. (He points up) I call it animate-ophobia.
Squeak: Animate-ophobia?
Garfield: (with the remote in his paw) Yeah. It's the fear of being in a cartoon show. (Back at Dr. Whipple’s office…)
Dr. Whipple: Chuckle I’m… (He scratches his head and looks at the viewers) I'm in a cartoon show! (He zips into his lobby and looks around) Oh no! I’m STILL in a cartoon show! (He bursts out the door of his building) Ha! And out here too! (He grabs his head) No matter where I go, (He takes off down the sidewalk and away) I'm still in a cartoon show! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Back at the house, Squeak has joined Garfield on the chair. Garfield rocks his feet back and forth as they both laugh)
Garfield and Squeak: Laugh
Garfield: Oh, that’s good!
Squeak: Laughs (Garfield looks at the viewers, and gives a thumbs-up and his signature wink as the curtains fall on this episode)
THE END