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Transcript

(The episode opens above Jon’s house. Inside, Garfield and Odie are watching a documentary on TV about fish)

TV: And the halibut is the largest of the flatfish (The scene switches to the living room. Garfield sits on his chair and Odie sits on the floor in front of him. Jon walks up behind the both of them) found in both the north Pacific (Garfield pants greedily and wiggles his fingers on the arm of the chair) and the north Atlantic Ocean.

Jon: Garfield, I’m impressed. (Garfield wiggles his toes) I didn’t think you LIKED educational programs and yet, here you are, fascinated by one and unable to take your eyes off the set.

Odie: Mutters

Garfield: Fish! Beautiful, delicious, fish!

Man on TV: A halibut can grow as large as 900 pounds like this one. (He holds up a fish almost as large as he is with one hand. He must have superhuman strength to hold a 900 pound object)

Garfield: (while panting, sticking his tongue out, eyes bulging, and pupils spinning like slot machine wheels, complete with sound effects) Get me that fish! (He sinks his claws into the chair’s arms) Get me that fish and an equal weight of French fries! (The phone rings in the other room)

Jon: I’ll get it! (He leaves to answer the phone)

Garfield: I must have seafood! (He bares his claws again) I CRAVE seafood! I NEED seafood!

Odie: Huh? (He runs off)

Jon: (on the phone) Oh, hi Liz. (Odie slides back into view on his knees with a can of dog food in his paw)

Odie: Ta-da!

Garfield: Huh? (He leans forward and reads the label. Odie wags his tail as he shows the can to his friend) “Captain Barnacle's Ocean Treat Doggy Delight”.

Odie: Mm-mm.

Garfield: This is not seafood, this is a CAN. See, Odie, a CAN. (He pushes the can with one finger into Odie’s mouth) Put it in the water. See if it swims.

Odie: Whines

Jon: (on the phone) Your fish? (Upon hearing this, Garfield snaps to attention. In the hallway, Jon is understandably insecure about this scenario) In THIS house?

Garfield: (standing up in his chair) Fish? Did he say “fish”? He said “fish”! (He picks up Odie) The man said “fish”! I heard him say “fish”! (He hugs the pup as the canine mutters)

Liz: (on the phone) It’s just while I'm out of town visiting my mother. (Garfield leans into the entryway between the hall and the living room with a big smile on his face. The scene then switches to Liz in her office) I need someone to take care of them.

Jon: I don't think that would be such a good idea, Liz.

Liz: (on the phone) Why not?

Jon: (turning to the living room) Well, for one thing, Garfield’s putting out tartar sauce and lemons. (Behind him, Garfield, now wearing a napkin around his neck, does exactly that and hops on a chair next to the table)

Garfield: Should I bread them? (He lifts a knife from the table) Fry them? (He holds a fork and hugs it) Scampi is so delicious.

Liz: C’mon, Jon. you can get Garfield to behave himself. I’ll bring my fish over in the morning.

Jon: (uncertainly) If you say so, Liz. Bye. (He hangs up the phone and puts it back) Garfield, (The big cat taps his fingers on the table as Jon calls him) Liz is leaving her pet fish here while she’s out of town. We'll leave them alone, or else.

Garfield: Have no fear, Arbuckle. (He points and winks at his owner as he walks toward him) I'll behave. I won’t eat Liz’s fish. (He wags his finger as if to say “I will not”) I’ll treat them with total respect. (He hold up one paw as if to make a promise, but Odie, who is panting quietly behind him, spots something behind Garfield’s back)

Odie: Mutters (He looks suspicious as he steps toward Garfield, who is crossing his fingers behind his back and waving his tail)

Garfield: Not now, Odie! Can’t you see I'm busy lying through my teeth? (He turns and gives the pup a dirty look)

(Later that night, Garfield tries to sleep in his bed in the kitchen)

Garfield: I’m having trouble sleeping. Maybe I'll try counting sheep. (He rolls over on his back and imagines sheep baaing and jumping over a fence) One, two, three, four, ah, this isn’t working. (His sheep vision ends) I know! (Instead of sheep, he counts fish jumping over a fence) One, two, three…yawn…four, this is so much better. Snore, five… (He dozes off and snores)

(A rooster crows in the distance as the sun rises the next morning. Jon helps Liz carry a large fish tank–along with a couple of fish, who swim inside the tank–into the house)

Jon: I didn't know you owned so many fish, Liz.

(In the kitchen, Garfield is still snoring, except now he’s lying on his stomach, like he does in the comic, and leaving his fingers on the bed’s edge, something he doesn’t do in the comic)

Liz: It’s been a hobby of mine for years. (She and Jon carry another large tank inside)

Garfield: (while sleeping) Three schools are enough for me. Yawn I would like some more trout, though. (He opens his eyes slightly, but nods back off)

(In the living room, Jon and Liz carefully set a tank on the table and slide it toward the center)

Jon: Whimpers

(In the kitchen, Garfield’s ear twitches)

Garfield: Hmm, sounds like fish. (Now fully awake, he blinks twice. He peeks into the living room and his jaw drops) Wha-ha… (There are tanks everywhere: the fireplace, the mantle, the bookshelf, the table, the TV, the dresser, on top of the lamp, and the end table. Garfield cannot believe what he is seeing) That… (He imagines himself in a dark setting. He flops on his back on the ground which has hypnotism-like swirls on it) is the most beautiful buffet I have ever seen in my life!

(Outside, Liz is in her car. Jon stands next to it seeing her off)

Liz: See you in a week!

Jon: Have a good trip, (He gives a thumbs-up) and don’t worry about your fish. (He points his thumb toward the house) I had a long talk with Garfield and I have every confidence he’ll leave them alone. (Liz waves good-bye and drives away. Jon also waves. As she leaves, a blue car behind her honks its horn) Chuckles (Knowing Garfield, Jon is immediately terrified about the consequences of leaving him with a dozen-ish fish) I’ve gotta stop Garfield from eating all her fish! (He zips inside)

(In the living room, Garfield has a napkin tied around his neck and holds a buffet tray with a plate, utensils, and a cup on it. He examines the fish selection, trying to figure out which to eat first)

Garfield: Now, would you be a better appetizer or a main course? (He turns to his right) You look more like a side dish. (He spots fish on the table and walks up to it) Ooh, and you’re kinda sweet-looking. I’ll save you for dessert. (Jon races up behind the tank Garfield was looking at. He is, understandably, miffed)

Jon: Scowl (He picks up Garfield and carries him out of the living room) You will not lay a paw on Liz’s fish!

Garfield: Of course not! (He pulls out a tiny net) That’s why I have a net. (He grins at Jon, who is not amused)

Jon: Do NOT touch the fish! Do you hear me? (He sets Garfield down on the living room floor near the hallway) Do NOT touch the fish! (Garfield stares at his owner, not saying a word–not that Jon could hear him anyway) If you harm so much as a fin on ANY of them, you’ll never see lasagna in this house again! Grunt (He storms away, leaving Garfield stunned. The fat cat’s mouth hangs open for a second)

Garfield: Gee, (addressing the audience) he sounds like he means it. (He turns to the camera with a nervous look on his face and points in the direction Jon went) Alright then, I can control myself. (He steps backwards into the hallway) I will leave this room and not come back when the fish are here. Growl. Sigh. Gulp! (He looks at his wrist as if he were wearing a watch, even though he’s not wearing a watch. Nevertheless, clock ticking is heard in the background and a ding goes off. He addresses the audience) Five seconds, that’s three seconds longer (He holds up three fingers) than I thought I’d last. (He sits on a chair and peeks over the table’s edge) You’ll do for a start. (Interestingly, he eyes the fish he labeled “dessert” a short time ago. He grabs it–much to the fish’s dismay–and swallows it whole) Mmmm… (he rubs his tummy, satisfied) not bad. (At that moment, his gut starts inflating) Hoo! Hey, I didn't think one little fish could be so fattening. (He starts rising into the air and hits the ceiling with a thud. His voice sounds deeper after he realizes what he ate) That was a pufferfish, the kind that swells up. Help! Somebody help me! (The puffer inside of him deflates and inflates repeatedly, banging him into the ceiling multiple times) Or put me in a parade or something! (He drops offscreen, then slams back on-screen into the ceiling a few more times. The puffer then decided to slowly deflate like a leaking balloon, zipping Garfield back and forth throughout the living room) Whoo! Whoa! (With the puffer’s air depleted, Garfield drops on his stomach. The puffer bounces out of his mouth, inflates on the floor in front of the fat cat, and returns to his tank completely unharmed) I’d better watch what I eat. (The next fish Garfield spies is the one in the chimney tank. It is a rainbow-colored eel-type of fish) Hmm. (He grabs his lunch from the tank) I don't know what kind of fish YOU are, (He points at the fish with a bared claw) but you look pretty tasty. (He sticks his tongue out. The fish, however, is not having any of it. He electrocutes the Flabby Tabby, causing him to contort to several awkward positions) OWWWW! AAAHHHH! AAAAAAHHHHH! (The pufferfish Garfield swallowed earlier watches with an open mouth smiling at Garfield’s misfortune) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! AAAHHH! AAHH! (Eventually, Garfield slams into the bookshelf. The fish that he was holding stops shocking him, and a dazed Garfield gets hit in the head with a book. He looks up, and a fish bowl drops on his head, and he wears it like a helmet. He looks at the fish, which is still swimming inside) Chuckles (He pulls the bowl off his head and sets it on the floor in front of him. Another book, this one blue, is the final thing to hit Garfield directly in the head. The fish applaud at the scene) Ugh… (He turns to the fish bowls on the bookcase next to him, and every fish immediately stops clapping and acts normal) Huh? (Garfield then sees what fell on him: in his lap is a book titled Aquapedia Poissonus Aquarius, a fish encyclopedia) Laughs (He opens the book and turns a few pages to the page showing the rainbow fish he had just tried to eat. He starts reading) “Brazilian electric dancing fish, similar to electric eels.” (Garfield holds it up in his paw and the fish shocks him again) Yipe! (Garfield loses his grip and the fish bounces into its tank. Garfield looks behind him as the fish returns) OK, (He turns to the audience, determined to enjoy some fish) it’s seafood I want and it’s seafood I'm gonna get! (He pounds his fist on the open book’s pages) I need a menu. (He scans the book again)

(Later, Garfield approaches a large blue fish with yellow accents on a bowl on the end table)

Garfield: Growl (He opens the encyclopedia and flips through the pages looking for his prey. He soon finds it) “Canadian spritzer fish”, (He closes the book and holds it in his arm) wonder what he does. (For an answer, the fish pops up from its tank and shoots water at him) AAH! (Garfield is launched backwards into the wall, creating a cat shape in it) OK, now we know what a Canadian spritzer fish does. (He falls, but is not deterred. He gets up and sees a red fish on the pink chair) Australian seltzer fish. (He opens his books and scans it) Let’s see what it says about the Australian seltzer fish. (This fish also pokes its head out of the tank) Huh? (and shoots a stream of water at Garfield, sending him back to the same spot on the wall) AAHH! (He shakes his head and reexamines the book) “The Australian seltzer fish is a close relative of the Canadian spritzer fish.” (He addresses the audience) I should’ve known. (He falls on the floor again)

(Still undeterred, Garfield then eyes a green fish with a red dot on its side in a bowl on the lamp)

Garfield: Alright, your turn, greenie. (He grabs it and holds it as he takes a seat on the couch to find out what type of fish it is) Laughs Let’s see what you are. (He flips the pages) Ah, there you are. “Japanese judo fish”. Oh, no… (Garfield is once again slammed into a wall, except now it’s the wall next to the chimney. He stumbles and flops on the ground as a cuckoo sound plays in the background) Oof! (The Japanese judo fish stands in front of Garfield as the latter’s eyes spin in confusion. After coming to, Garfield is grabbed by his finger and is slung back and forth on the ground)

Japanese Judo Fish: Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

(For a moment, the camera shifts to above Jon’s house as Garfield gets his butt kicked inside the house. Crashing, smashing, and Garfield yelping can be heard from inside)

Garfield: AAAAAHHHHHH! (At this point, the fish has grabbed one of Garfield’s toes and was spinning him around the living room. The fish lets go and the frazzled feline gets stuck inside another bowl on the mantle with his entire body in it, except his feet, which stick out the top. The fish that was inside that bowl floats above it, enjoying every part of Garfield’s troubles)

Fish: Laughs (Garfield, however, scowls at the fish)

Garfield: Oh yeah?! Well, you won’t laugh at this! YAH! (He pulls himself out of the bowl and chomps the fish whole) Hey, he wasn’t bad. Let’s see what he is, or, uh, was. (He walks over to the book which had fallen on the floor and picks it up. He starts reading) “The flying fish of Franistan”. Gasp! (His tail straightens and the fish inside of him starts flying around the living room) Help! HELP! (He is taken out the open window and over the back yard) HEEEELP!

(In the backyard, Jon is sitting in his lawn chair talking on the phone. Odie lies next to him)

Jon: No, don’t worry, Liz. Garfield isn’t bothering your fish. (Garfield zooms by)

Garfield: YAAHH!

Odie: Huh?

Jon: In fact, I just saw him flying by. (Behind them, Garfield zips back and forth in the side yard)

Odie: Huh?!

Jon: Gasp! “Flying by”?!

Odie: Howl! (They both turn and see Garfield zipping toward the city)

Garfield: WHOA! YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (He is taken for the ride of his life. He swerves and weaves through traffic, spinning and whimpering as he goes) Yowl! Ow! (He spins, swirls, and bobs in and around a construction site near Vito’s, still screaming uncontrollably as if he’s on the world's worst roller coaster) YAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (He eventually glides by Vito himself, and swipes a pizza that the chef was about to serve to a customer. Vito grabs for the pizza, only to see it’s not there. He looks at his tray in surprise)

(Meanwhile, Garfield polishes off a slice of the pizza pie)

Garfield: Mmm… I just figured it out. All these things that are happening to me, they COULDN’T happen. (He shakes his head no) This has to be a dream! (After his tour of the city is over, the fish that he ate takes him to the ocean) YAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (The flying fish, and Garfield, dive in) Oh, I sure hope this is a dream. (Garfield goes deeper and deeper into the darkness of the sea. A few fish float by and Garfield bounces along the ocean floor. His mouth opens and the flying fish he ate swims out of his mouth) Sigh… (Garfield is relieved that his ride is over, but then he sees what’s around him) oh! (He is standing at a wooden bench somewhat resembling the back of a chair. Four fish stand at a wooden jury box, and a fish bailiff wearing a powdered wig begins speaking)

Fish Bailiff: All rise for his honor the Honorable Oliver Octavious. (The flabbergasted feline watches with bulging eyes)

Garfield: Oh my… (An octopus judge wearing a powdered wig and glasses takes his place behind his podium)

Oliver Octavious: Order in the fish court! (He looks down at the bailiff) Bailiff, who is on trial today?

Fish Bailiff: Garfield the Cat, your honor.

Garfield: (to the audience, still looking stunned) Either this is a dream or I've somehow learned to breathe underwater. (The judge pounds his gavel on a clam, concussing the poor creature)

Fish Bailiff: Garfield the Cat is accused of eating fish.

Fish Jury: Gasp! (Garfield turns around to face them)

Garfield: Hey!

Oliver Octavious: Garfield Cat, how do you plead?

Garfield: (now facing the octopus judge) Well, maybe I ate a few fish…

Fish Bailiff: (reading from a scroll) 7,322 fish.

Garfield: Well, that’s not a lot, I mean, some of them were minnows and shrimp!

Oliver Octavious: You! You fish-eater, you!

Garfield: Yes! Yes, I admit it! I ate the fish! I ate a LOT of fish! (his voice starts to get higher and higher) I even ate fish with chips! Fish with chips and malt vinegar! (By this point, his voice approaches the point of cracking)

Oliver Octavious: (while holding three different gavels in his tentacles) IF I spare your life, will you promise never to eat another fish? (Garfield blinks twice, but says nothing) I said, “IF I spare your life, will you promise never to eat another fish?” (Garfield puts a paw to his mouth as if he’s thinking)

Garfield: I’m thinking it over. (He grins sheepishly at the judge. His Honor, however, is having none of it)

Oliver Octavious: I’ve heard enough! (he pounds his gavel on the clam’s shell) Jury, what do you say?

Fish Jury: Guilty! (Garfield flinches and looks down as he holds his stomach)

Oliver Octavious: Garfield Cat, you have been found guilty (The fat cat turns to face the jury…) by a jury of your dinner. (and then faces the judge) I hereby sentence you to… Larry! (He brings the gavel down once and for all on the clam’s shell)

Garfield: Larry? Who’s Larry?

Oliver Octavious: HE (He gestures to his right with a gavel in his tentacle) is Larry. (A massive whale swims up, bellowing his whale sound)

Garfield: Whimpers (Larry the Whale swims closer to a petrified Garfield, eager to turn the tables on him. Garfield tries to run, but Larry opens his mouth, revealing two rows of sharp teeth, and sucks Garfield inside) AAAAAHHHH! NO! HELP! (As Garfield gets pulled in, he clings for dear life onto Larry’s teeth) AAHH! (However, Garfield soon loses his grip and is swallowed by Larry) Help! (Larry shuts his mouth, the mission complete. Instantly, the scene switches to Garfield in the kitchen in his bed) HEEEELP! Oh… (He opens his eyes, revealing the whole series of events since that morning was just a crazy nightmare. The doorbell rings, and Garfield glances around him, taking a moment to get his bearings. Jon answers the door)

Jon: Oh, hi, Liz! Come on in!

Liz: I brought my fish as we discussed. (Garfield grabs his blanket and starts to pull it over himself when what Liz said sinks in)

Garfield: Her fish? (Garfield gets up and peeks into the living room)

Jon: We’ll put them right on the table here. (He sets a bowl of two goldfish on the table)

Liz: Do you think two goldfish are safe in a house where Garfield lives?

Jon: Sure! Garfield won’t bother them! C’mon, let me show you what I'm working on in my studio. (He takes Liz upstairs)

Garfield: (while wearing the napkin from earlier) She only has two goldfish? Chuckle (He stands on one of the chairs) Pretty cute goldfish. Well, it’s time for breakfast! (He pats his tummy and pulls a jar of tartar sauce and two slices of bread out from behind his back) Time to make a sandwich! (He drops the bread on the table) Mmm, tartar sauce sandwich. (He dumps a bit of sauce on one slice of bread, puts the lid back on the jar, closes the sandwich and takes a bite) Delicious. (He makes the “OK” sign with his fingers and speaks to the audience) C’mon, you didn’t really think I was gonna eat Liz’s goldfish, did ya? (He shakes his head no) That’s too rotten, even for me. In fact, I'm giving up eating fish altogether. After that dream, (He points at the ground) I'll NEVER eat another fish again… (He takes another bite and wipes his mouth with his paw as the screen starts fading to black, but Garfield notices the circle closing and holds it open) until next week. (He winks and finishing chewing his second bite) Chuckle (He stands back in his chair and the episode comes to a close)