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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode begins at night, outside of Jon's house)
Jon: Happy birthday, Liz! (Jon presents Liz with a necklace with a heart-shaped ruby)
Liz: Oh, Jon, you're spoiling me. You must have better things to do with your money.
Garfield: (while lying on the couch. Odie stands next to him on the floor) Yeah, spend it on the cat.
Liz : Thank you so much, Jon. (she kisses him) You're a darling.
Jon: And that's not all, Liz!
Liz: Huh?
Jon: I cooked a delicious, four-course Italian dinner!
Liz: Jon, I love Italian food!
Garfield: Once again, Liz is trying to do my job. (he glances at the table a couple of times. It is set with plates, silverware, a chessboard tablecloth, and a lit candle in the center)
Jon: And this (he hands Liz a wrapped rectangular present) is from the three of us, Garfield, Odie, and me. (Jon sits on the couch with his pets on both sides of him.)
Liz: (after unwrapping the gift) Jon, this is wonderful! You all look so pretty in this picture, especially Garfield.
Garfield: (laughs) The camera loves me. (Jon then rests his elbow on Garfield's head)
Liz: It must've been difficult to take this, getting Garfield and Odie to sit still long enough.
Jon: (slipping as Garfield jerks his head away, so now Jon rests on his cat's tummy) Nah, it was a piece of cake. (Liz and Jon move in for a kiss, only to have Garfield hop off the sofa and ruin the moment)
Garfield: Do not believe that man. (He sits on the easy chair upside-down, his back on the seat and his feet up the backrest) You have no idea what it took to get that picture. It all started yesterday morning... (the sky changes from night to day, as a flashback ensues)
(The day prior, Garfield lies on the couch, just waking up)
Garfield: (stretching and yawning) It had been a perfect day. Woke up at 10:00, had breakfast, back in bed by 10:15. (he scratches and wiggles his toes) Just as I was waking up for my pre-lunch snack, Jon came in with one of THOSE looks on his face.
(Jon walks into the living room, piece of paper in hand)
Jon: Garfield, Odie, this is very important!
Garfield: Very important as something that effects my eating or sleeping?
Jon: Tomorrow it Liz's birthday!
Garfield: Not very important. (Odie pants and trots up to Jon, who pets him on the head)
Jon: And we're going to get her a very special gift: a family picture! (He sits on the couch next to the fat cat)
Garfield: (Yawn) Great. Go find a family and take one.
Jon: Here's a sketch of the photograph I have in mind. (He holds up a paper with the three of them in front of their front door. Odie is standing on a chair in the middle, Garfield and Jon flank him on either side) I want the three of us with great, big smiles!
Odie: (excited) Gasp! Bark!
Garfield: This is silly. (He lazily rolls over on his stomach) No force on this PLANET can get me to do this.
Jon: And if you guys cooperate and get the picture exactly right, there'll be extra lasagna tonight!
Odie: Bark! Bark!
Garfield: OK, I'm in! (he sits upright and scratches his head) I sell out cheap, don't I? Anything involving tomato sauce and I'm yours.
Jon: OK, guys, let's go to it! It'll only take a few minutes! (He heads outside. Odie trots along right behind him. Garfield, however, walks slowly behind them)
Odie: Bark!
Garfield: "It'll only take a few minutes". When does anything that will only take a few minutes actually only take a few minutes?
(Later, Jon has his camera propped up in front of his house. Odie sits on the chair panting and Garfield sits on the ground to Odie's right)
Jon: I have a timer on this so I can get into the picture before the camera goes off. (He chuckles) Perfect! OK, let's set the timer on, uh, let's say, 10 seconds. (Garfield yawns, and Jon presses a button on the camera, which goes off before he can get ready) Oops. looks like I set the timer wrong. (He runs back over to the camera and investigates) Huh? Ah! (After thinking it's set up correctly, he runs back to get in position, only for the camera to flash one second later, resulting in a picture of Jon running away)
Garfield: Oh, I don't know. (He crosses his legs and Odie hops off his chair) Looks to me like you got your best side.
Jon: This time we should be all right. I set the timer on 30 seconds. (He and Odie get in their positions) OK, guys! Look at the camera and say, "Cheese"!
Garfield: Cheese! (They smile, waiting for the camera to flash, except that it doesn't) Hurry up, I have a cramp in my jaw!
Jon: Maybe I forgot to push the right button. I'll just take a quick look. (He runs over and pushes a button. He runs back, but not in time to get set, and the camera flashes as Jon screeches back toward his spot and his pets watching him)
Garfield: I think the last shot of you was better.
(Jon hustles back and resets the camera)
Odie: Ta-da!
Garfield: Cheese! (Before the picture can be taken, a pigeon walks up and perches on the camera. It looks down into the camera's lens just as the picture gets taken, resulting in a sudden blinding for the bird, which flies into Odie's mouth)
Odie: Bark! (He spits the bird out, which sits a bit dazed on the ground. Jon, again, resets the camera)
Garfield: Cheese! (This time, the pigeon flies around the camera before knocking it over, resulting in a sideways photo of the trio, with Jon and Garfield looking frustrated. Jon props the camera back up and resets it)
Jon: Say "cheese"!
Garfield: (unenthusiastically) Cheddar. (Before the picture can be taken, it's Odie's turn to cause chaos. A squirrel runs out from the side of the yard in front of the trio. The pup notices it and does what dogs do: chase it)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark!
Jon: Odie? Stop it! Bad dog! Bad dog! (Odie knocks the camera down in the process, which snaps a photo of him chasing the squirrel with his oversized tongue out, Jon scolding the pooch, and Garfield actually amused at the situation)
(The scene returns to the following day, with Garfield still sitting upside-down on the chair)
Garfield: And that's pretty much how it went all day long.
(Returning back to the prior day's camera catastrophes...)
Jon: Say "Cheese"!
Garfield: All this talk of cheese is making me hungry. Cheese! (Before the photo can be taken, Nermal walks into the frame. Jon scowls, Odie barks, and Garfield meows angrily. The camera goes off with the main trio angry at the kitten)
Nermal: Meow!
Garfield: This is an awful picture, Nermal!
Nermal: What's wrong with it?
Garfield: What's wrong with it? You're in it, that's what's wrong with it!
Nermal: Why can't I be in the picture? I'm adorable.
Garfield: This is a FAMILY picture, Nermal, and you are not--I'm pleased to say--family! In any case, you're too close to the camera.
Nermal: Oh, how far should I be? (Nermal is then launched over the fence into the side neighbor's trash can) WHOAAAAAA! (He crashes)
Garfield: About that far. (He and Jon race back to position to get this tedious task over with. Nermal, meanwhile, pops his head over the side of the fence and scowls) Cheddar. (With everyone ready and waiting, Nermal races behind them and photobombs the group by standing behind Odie's chair. Garfield, sick of Nermal's antics, ties him to a chessboard-patterned rocket with rope)
Nermal: How far are you sending me this time?
Garfield: Maybe you can have your picture taken with some Martians. (He laughs and presses a button on the remote for the rocket. Nermal is then sent flying)
Nermal: WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Garfield: (waving) Good-bye! Farewell! And don't come back! (Jon, now exhausted from having to run back and forth about a dozen times, whimpers as he reactivates the camera and resets his position with is pets) Cheese! (Just then, his neighbor walks up and stands in the shot. Jon growls, infuriated, and Garfield has a look of exhaustion)
Harvey: Hi, neighbor! I was fixing myself a nice cup of coffee, and then I realized I was out of sugar. I was wondering if I could borrow some from you. (he points at Jon)
Jon: Sigh We're trying to take a photo here! (the camera clicks, and a photo of Jon's neighbor can be seen)
Garfield: Hey, good shot of the next-door neighbor, lousy shot of you. (he points at Jon, who hurries back, resets the camera, and gets back with his pets) Cheddar. (This time a bee buzzes above the trio, causing them to panic)
Jon: Ah! Go away! Go away! (he flails his arms. Garfield looks up for the bee, and Odie growls at it. The camera snaps a great photo of them getting freaked out. After this attempt, a worn-out feline slowly marches up to the chair, Odie follows, walking on his hind legs)
Odie: Mutters frustratedly (Garfield turns to the pup, and even he starts showing sympathy for Odie)
Jon: Oh... (As Jon tries to restart the camera again, the tripod it sits on crumples in a heap. Jon cries and sobs before trying to set it back up, only for it to fall flat again. He screams in rage, grabs the camera, shakes it and then plants it on the ground. The camera bounces like a bobblehead doll before Jon steadies it and prepares to head back to his spot when his cell phone rings)
Jon: Hello? Oh, heh, hi, Liz! Yeah, we’re on for your birthday celebration tomorr- Gasp! (The camera takes another reject photo)
Liz: (on the phone) Jon? Jon? Are you there?
Jon: Whimpers
Garfield: He was there. His brain wasn’t, but he was. (Jon resets the camera and trudges back to his spot)
Jon: Moan (His pets collapse in their respective positions. When Jon arrives, they straighten up and smile)
Garfield: Chuckles (Once again, Jon’s neighbor steps in front of the camera)
Harvey: Hey again, neighbor! You won’t believe what I found under my sink: an old package of sugar! (he laughs) So I, I guess I won’t be needing yours! How’s that family picture of yours coming along? (He turns to the camera, which flashes again)
Jon: Yuck!
(Furious, Garfield storms to the camera with the chair that Odie was sitting on. He stands on the chair and resets the timer)
Garfield: Meow! (He returns, without the chair. Jon runs to grab the chair and get in position. Garfield laughs as his owner runs back, and they are all ready when they hear someone screaming)
Nermal: YAAAAHHH! (The rocket he was tied to lands with a thud in the grass next to Garfield, causing the main trio to duck just as the camera flashes)
Garfield: Huh? What part of the phrase “don’t come back” wasn’t clear? (He pulls out the remote for the rocket)
Nermal: Whimpers (Odie covers his eyes, and Garfield presses a button on the rocket. It reactivates, and the kitten is sent through the earth. Garfield blocks it with a tree stump and Odie covers it with a green fabric of sorts)
Garfield: If this seems drastic to you, you’ve obviously never met Nermal. Trust me, it’s necessary.
(A jeep passes as Jon primes the camera for the fourteenth time. He gets in position and is all set when…)
Jon: Oh no, (the pets glare at their owner) my nostril is itching. (He chuckles and scratches his nose just as the camera flashes) Sorry.
(He runs and turns the camera back on. For some reason, this shot fails, so Garfield does the same thing. This picture is another reject, so Odie gives it a shot, except the pup trips over himself as the picture gets taken, so he grabs the camera’s tripod and brings it to them. Garfield corrects this error and revisits his spot, all three of them with tired eyes and plastered-on smiles)
Garfield: (flatly) Cheddar. (The sky gets dark and rain pours down as the next picture gets taken) Aw, figures. The weather report was for clear skies and temps in the 80s. (Odie hangs his tongue out to catch some raindrops. Jon, meanwhile, collapses on his stomach)
(After the rain has passed, Jon tries it again)
Jon: Say “cheese”, everyone!
Garfield: I keep saying “cheese” and not getting any. (The log Garfield used to block Nermal’s hole pops up, and Nermal photobombs the shot putting himself front and center, much to Garfield’s chagrin, Odie’s surprise, and Jon’s annoyance) No comment.
(Another car passes by behind Jon, who primes the camera once more)
Jon: Alright, now, before I set the timer, is everything OK? No rain showers imminent?
Garfield: (scanning the sky on Odie’s chair) Not a cloud for miles. (Odie does the same thing next to him)
Jon: No one’s nose itches?
Garfield: I scratched mine already. How about you?
Odie: Mutters (He nods yes, to say that he’s ready)
Jon: No one’s going to interrupt us? (He turns to his neighbor and Nermal, who are both bound and gagged to each other on the driveway. They utter muffled speech in protest)
Garfield: No one’s gonna interrupt us. (Nermal and the neighbor continue mumbling)
Jon: Fine. I’m starting the timer. (He gets in position, but as he does, a vehicle pulls up and beeps twice) Say “cheese”! (At that moment, Vito walks up, pizza in hand)
Vito: Someone order a large pizza with extra pepperoni and mushroom?
Garfield: Chuckles
Jon: Huh? (Garfield laughs as he breaks for the pizza. Predictably, the camera goes off)
Garfield: (while eating his pizza) Hey it’s your fault for making me think of cheese all day. (Before any more attempts can be made, Nimbus’s UFO abducts the camera right before their eyes. Jon screams/laughs maniacally, Garfield sputters, and Odie just sits next to Jon, whimpering)
Jon: Alright! I’ve had enough, it’s time to do something DRASTIC!
(They go get their picture taken at a professional photography place)
Photographer: OK, everyone ready?
Jon: (with Odie sprawled on his lap and Garfield to his left) Do you think this looks OK?
Photographer: Of COURSE it looks OK. I am one of the world’s greatest professional photographers. I can make ANYONE look good, even the three of you.
Jon: All right… I think.
Garfield: You know, if you had done this in the first place, it would’ve saved us a lot of grief.
Photographer: Here, right, here we go! 1, 2, 3, cheese!
Garfield: I need more pizza. (The photographer takes several shots)
Photographer: Magnificent! I’ve outdone myself. I shall make a print for your lady friend. (He runs off, while the trio are still a bit dazed from all the flashing lights. They finally sigh in relief)
(Returning back to Liz’s birthday party…)
Garfield: And that’s what it took to get the picture taken for Liz. (He rubs his fingers)
Liz: Well, it’s a great photo and I thank you all for it. (Jon starts petting Odie’s head) It’s just…
Jon: Huh? Hm…uh, something wrong with it?
Liz: Oh, no! It’s great but, well, Jon there’s a certain expression I know you for, a special look you often have on your face.
Jon: What look is that?
Liz: Well, it’s hard to describe, but it’s so typically you.
Garfield: Hmm… (He rolls over, so now he lays longways on the chair)
Jon: Chuckles GASP! (He sees the picture. It’s the three of them, Jon, Odie, and Garfield, wincing due to the brightness of the flash. After seeing this, he starts to have a nervous breakdown)
Liz: (pointing) That’s it, Jon! THAT’S the look I know you for!
Garfield: I know that look very well. (He winks at the audience, ending the episode)
THE END