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Transcript

(the episode begins in a small shed where Orson Pig and Bo Sheep are both sitting in chairs)

Orson: Today, we're both going to tell you about what happened to Wade recently.

Bo: (to himself) I'd better get, like, the same pay, man. (to the audience) Wade had this idea, see? He decided to become an egg again!

(Orson shoves Bo back in his chair)

Orson: Maybe we'd better start at the top (to the TD) Flashback, please!

(Bo gets up)

Bo: Wait, I was gonna do that, man!

(cross dissolve to the story with Wade Duck eating soup)

Orson: (V.O.) Now, as you know, Wade suffers from a lot of fears. Like he has a bad case of gumbophobia.

Bo: (V.O.) That's like the fear of finding thing you can't identify in your soup, man.

(Wade cringes at the thing in his soup; yells for help and runs away)

Wade: (exclaims) Help! Help! Unidentified thing in my soup! Help! Definitely not a matzo ball! Oh, help!

Orson: (V.O.) He also has a bad case of Walterphobia.

Bo: (V.O.) The fear of people named Walter.

(Wade approaches a dog named Walter, who has a name tag)

Wade: (exclaims) Oh, help! Person named Walter! Help! Definite Walter person fear! Help!

(hides behind a tree)

Orson: (V.O.) And he also suffers from delanophobia.

(Booker Chick comes to a bucket with Wade hiding under it; reveals Wade)

Booker: Wade, come out of there!

Wade: But I am afraid.

Booker: But there's nothing to be afraid of.

Wade: There isn't? (panics) There's nothing to be afraid of? Oh! Help! Nothing to be afraid of! Oh, help! Help! Help!

(Booker covers his ears as Wade runs away yet again)

Bo: (V.O.) Delanophobia is the fear of having nothing to fear but fear itself. Man, what a bummer.

(story cuts to Orson and his friends setting up a birthday party)

Orson: (V.O.) Oh, and he even suffers from off-tune-a-phobia. That's the fear of having all your friends sing Happy Birthday to you.

(Booker pokes a hole in the cake and takes a little taste)

Bo: (V.O.) Right. Like, we found this out the other day when we were setting up a party for the dude.

Orson: Okay, hurry up, guys. I have to get back to the coop and stand guard. The weasel's been spotted around lately.

Bo: Hey, the duck should be here any minute, man.

(Wade arrives at the barn nervously)

Wade: Oh, worry. Oh, dread. Oh, worry and dread, in that order.

Orson: (V.O.) Wade was in a more nervous mood than usual that day. So when we yelled surprise...

Orson, Bo, and Booker: SURPRISE!

Wade: (screams)

(Wade runs off with Orson, Booker, and Bo chasing after him)

Wade: Help! Help! Surprise party! Oh, help!

Orson: (panting) Wade, come back!

Booker: It's just a birthday party!

(Wade disappears into the forest and Orson, Booker, and Bo stop chasing him)

Bo: Hey, we're wasting our time, man. Compared to Wade when he's scared, the Flash is a slowpoke.

Orson: You're right. He'll come back when he's good and ready. (V.O.) Wade finally stopped when he was halfway through the forest)

(story cuts through the forest and the stream where Wade is looking down at his reflection in the water)

Wade: Oh, woe is I'm. Why am I such a fearful fowl? Why, oh, why do I run in fear from everything under the sun? Including the sun? Why am I so timid? No, don't tell me, don't tell me. I'm afraid of the answer.

(Wade sadly walks away when we see Sheldon Chick being chased by the weasel in another part of the woods)

Orson: (V.O.) Wade was so philosophical that he didn't hear someone nearby who really didhave a reason to be afraid.

Sheldon: Help! Weasel!

Weasel: (panting) Sorry, pal. I've been craving egg for a week now. (panting)

Bo: (V.O.) It was, like, Sheldon, man. And he had that old weasel dude hot on his heels.

(Sheldon and the weasel run through a log, but come right out of it because of the smell from a skunk; Sheldon keeps running, but the weasel bangs his nose into a tree; then he resumes chasing Sheldon; Sheldon and the weasel peek from opposite sides of a tree, then they bump into each other, then the chase resumes once again. Sheldon and the weasel get in for a close up in front of the camera to see whether it's safe. Just when Sheldon think he's finally safe, the weasel snatches him up in his hands)

Weasel: Gotcha! Now, let's see. Shall I scramble you or hard-boil you or poach you?

Sheldon: How about pretending it's Easter and hiding me someplace?

Weasel: Shut up!

Sheldon: 'Kay.

Orson: (V.O.) It looked like Sheldon was in real trouble, but then he had an idea. He turned on his sun lamp.

(Sheldon's sun lamp clicks on, and his shell starts to glow red)

Weasel: Maybe I'll soft-boil you on toast. Then again, egg sammiches are good. (sees Sheldon "cooking") Hey, are you already cooking? Are you...Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! (sees his burning hands and drops Sheldon)YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Orson: (V.O.) The weasel ran to the stream...

(weasel splashes his burning hands into the water)

Weasel: (sighs in relief)

Orson: (V.O.) ...while Sheldon, quite proud of himself, ran the other way.

Sheldon: Wow, that was great! I not only escaped from the weasel, but I got a nice tan in the process!

(Sheldon's shell turns back from red to white)

Orson: (V.O.) In fact, Sheldon had pretty much forgotten his narrow escape by the time he happened upon Wade.

(Sheldon appears behind Wade, sitting on a tree stump)

Sheldon: Hi, Wade!

Wade: (gasps)

(Sheldon's saying hi causes Wade to jump in the air and land on his feet)

Wade: Oh. (laughs nevously) t's you, Sheldon.

Sheldon: What are you doing out here in the forest, Wade?

Wade: Oh, I am reflecting on my lot in life, and a rather empty lot, it is. I guess I...I was just born to be a coward.

Sheldon: Aww. That's the kind of thing that made me not want to be born.

Wade: What do you mean?

(story crossfades to a flashback of Sheldon's memory of not hatching; we see Sheldon opening his eggshell for a peek)

Sheldon: Well, just before I was supposed to be hatched, someone lined my nest with an old newspaper. I peeked out and read the headlines. I saw what was going on in the world. Wars, the economy, the NBC fall schedule. And I said, "No way! I'm staying in here!"

(Sheldon closes his "window" as the story cuts back to him talking with Wade)

Wade: But, but, but don't you miss a lot being a egg?

Sheldon: Nope. I have everything I need right in here. My stereo.

(Sheldon clicks on his stereo and dances to classical music)

Sheldon: My aerobic tapes.

(aerobic music playing)

Aerobics Instructor: (on stereo) Step, two, three, four. Step, two, three, four. Step, two, three, four.

(stereo clicks off)

Sheldon: And even all the latest video games.

(Sheldon's video game beeps as his shell flashes in multiple colors)

Sheldon: I wouldn't leave my shell for anything.

Wade: Hmmmmm.

Bo: (V.O.) And that was how the idea got planted in the duck's noggin, I guess.

Wade: Gee, I was safer when I was a egg, too.

Orson: (V.O.) He rushed back to the farmyard where he started fashioning a shell for himself out of papier-mâché.

Wade: (humming to himself)

(Wade makes the shell and pastes lots of paper to the bottom)

Orson: (V.O.) He worked on it all day, building the top part from the outside, then the top part from the inside.

Wade: (humming continues as he has gotten into the bottom half of the shell)

Bo: (V.O.) Finally, he was done.

Wade: (humming continues)

(Wade has made the finishing touches on his shell and seals himself in.)

Wade: Make way for a egg, a egg which cannot be harmed, a egg that is secure in its own little eggshell, (bumps into a tree) Oof! (moans) A egg which cannot see where it is going.

Orson: (V.O.) But that wasn't Wade's biggest problem.

(the weasel appears behind the barn and licks his lips.)

Bo: (V.O.) No, man. Because, like, that egg-loving weasel was still around and...

Orson: Oh, no! This is awful!

(cut back to Orson and Bo in their chairs)

Bo: No, I haven't got to the awful part yet, man.

(Orson looks at his pocket watch.)

Orson: No, not that. I mean, we've run out of time for this cartoon!

Bo: Well, can't we, you know, like, get rid of some commercials, man?

(Orson comes and holds a sign that says "TO BE CONTINUED")

Orson: No. We'll just have to continue this in our next episode. (to the audience) So, uh, come back, and I'll tell you what happened to Wade the Egg.

(at this point, Orson and Bo argue as they hold the TO BE CONTINUED sign close to the camera)

Bo: (to the audience) No, like, I'll tell you.

Orson: No, I will tell them.

Bo: No, man, I'm gonna tell them.

Orson: Excuse me, I'll tell them.

Bo: Well, wait a second, man.

Orson: Oh, my.

(episode ends)

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