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"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
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(The episode begins in the Arbuckle farm. Jon and the pets are visiting Doc Boy on the farm. Jon stretches his arms, taking in some fresh air)
Jon: Ahhhh! Don’t you guys just love it when we come up here to the farm and stay with my brother? (Odie pants happily. Garfield is quite the opposite)
Garfield: Moan… (Jon runs off, and Odie follows)
Odie: Bark! Bark!
Garfield: (flatly) I wanna go home. (He slowly follows his friends)
Jon: There’s the sun, the air, the great outdoors! (He stops, allowing Odie to put his front paws on his legs)
Odie: Bark!
Garfield: I wanna go home. (He glares at them)
Jon: What more (Odie joins his fat feline friend and pants) could anyone want?
Garfield: TV, (Odie looks at him)
Jon: Huh?
Garfield: (continuing) pizza delivery, air conditioning, an internet connection, my own bed, and not being woken up at 5:00 AM by a stupid rooster. I wanna go home. (Doc Boy runs past them a couple of times, each time he carries a different object. A ladder, a rope, and a couple of baskets. Jon and the pets watch him fly by)
Jon: I just wish Doc Boy didn’t work so hard. (He blows by them again, carrying a bundle of wood, and then runs up to Jon)
Doc Boy: Don’t call me Doc Boy. (He leaves)
Jon: You know what he needs? A companion.
Garfield: You know what I need? (He points behind him with his thumb) To go home. (Doc Boy sprints past them again with a couple of baskets)
Jon: (to Doc Boy) But I think you’re working too hard! (He stands in the path to try and stop him) You’re alone too much! (Doc Boy is too caught up in his chores to notice)
Garfield: Doc Boy ALWAYS works like that. Did I mention that I wanna go home?
Odie: Pants
(Later, Jon, Odie, and Doc Boy are at the table, the latter of whom is crunching numbers on a calculator, calculating his bills. Garfield stands next to them with his arms crossed)
Jon: Sigh!
Odie: (sadly) Awwww!
Garfield: I wanna go home.
Jon: Look, Garfield, I know you’re bored. Here, take my cell phone. (He hands the Flabby Tabby his cell phone, who promptly takes it and texts with it) There are plenty of games on there and you can access the internet. Maybe it’ll keep you busy.
Garfield: I wanna go home. (He walks away. Jon gets up from his chair and walks over to his brother)
Jon: Don’t you ever do anything but chores? (Garfield joins Jon)
Doc Boy: Not now, Jon. Can’t you see I’m busy? (He pours a bowl of egg mixture into a pan with his foot and cooks it using a burner on the floor. He then tugs a rope tied to an apple tree, loosening the apples into several baskets on the ground)
Jon: (pointing up) I was trying to say that maybe you need a woman in your life.
Doc Boy: I don’t have time (Garfield and Odie are surprised by Doc Boy’s sudden outburst) for a woman in my life. (He drops the omelet onto a plate) I have a farm to run! Care for an omelet? (He serves it to Jon, who takes it. Both his pets eye it)
Garfield: Laughs (He quickly realizes he isn’t getting any, and Odie retracts his tongue)
Jon: You should have someone at your side. Someone to share the pleasures and trials of life.
Garfield: Quiet moan… (Just then, a sky blue van rolls up to the house)
Doc Boy: Where will I find someone? I work from dawn ‘til dusk (Jon shakes his head. Odie hangs his own head, but Garfield is a lot less sympathetic and just glares at his owner) and I live in the middle of nowhere. (They hear the van’s horn honk outside)
All: Huh?
(Doc Boy and Jon are the first to leave the house and see the van, which turns out to be a delivery van)
Jon: Oh! (A woman named Gloria walks out from behind the van, carrying about a dozen boxes of pizza in her hand. She winks at Doc Boy)
Doc Boy: Pizza? (Odie runs out of the house and stands next to Doc Boy) Gloria, you usually deliver packages! (He points at her. The wheels start turning in Jon’s head) And I didn’t order any pizzas. (The one who did–Garfield–bursts out the door toward Gloria and takes the pizzas)
Garfield: Laughs
Jon: No, but I have a strange hunch who did. Garfield, did you use my cell phone to order those from Vito’s?
Garfield: Yes, (He points at Jon) and I still wanna go home. (Gloria and Doc Boy step toward each other)
Gloria: So, how are ya, Mr. Arbuckle? (She extends her hand to shake)
Doc Boy: Busy. I have to slop hogs. (He points over his shoulder with his thumb)
Gloria: Say, have you seen that new monster movie at the drive-in? It’s still playing if you haven’t!
Jon: Oh! (The Tubby Tabby is enjoying his bounty on the steps. Odie stands next to him)
Garfield: Watch this. (He points at Doc Boy) He’ll blow it.
Odie: Awwww! (Garfield goes to eat another slice, and does so rather loudly)
Doc Boy: I don’t have time for monster movies, (Jon is speechless) I have corn to pick. (He leaves and climbs the stairs into his house)
Garfield: Chewing noises I told ya.
Gloria: Bye. (She heads into her truck, starts it, and leaves)
Jon: Moan…
Odie: Mutters (He eyes the pizza in Garfield’s paw, his tongue hanging out of his mouth)
Garfield: You want the crusts?
Odie: Uh-huh! (He nods) Mutters (Garfield tosses the slice into his mouth, confusing Odie)
Garfield: Mmm! Too bad there aren’t gonna be any.
Odie: Gasp! Awwwww! (His eyes narrow and he glares at Garfield angrily. To his credit, the fat cat does his best friend a solid and offers him a slice)
Garfield: Here! (Odie immediately devours the slice) I was kidding. By the way, I still wanna go home.
(In the corn field, Doc Boy is harvesting corn by hand, and Jon is helping by holding the basket)
Jon: I’m telling you, she’s interested in you.
Doc Boy: Ho. She's the Rush Around Express driver. (He tosses an ear of corn into the basket) She’s interested in picking up packages and delivering packages.
Jon: It’s not natural to live your life alone. (Doc Boy drops another ear into the basket. Odie trots by with some corn in his mouth) Life is meant to be shared. You know what the three most wonderful words are in the entire world? (Garfield walks behind the pup, playing on Jon’s cell phone)
Garfield: “Let’s… go… home.”
Doc Boy: Jon, could we discuss this AFTER I plow the North 40? (He points behind him with his thumb and leaves)
Jon: Huh?! Moan… (He shakes his head regretfully. Doc Boy sees another apple on his tree)
Doc Boy: Huh! (He picks it and throws it behind him, hitting Jon on the head)
Jon: Oof! Growl! (He shakes in anger and shouts for his cat) Garfield! We need to pack!
Garfield: We’re packed! (He holds a suitcase in each paw and smiles) Laughs
Jon: I don’t want to stay here and watch my brother spend his life picking apples… alone. (He turns and leaves. Doc Boy is sad to see him go)
(That night, presumably, Jon gets a call on his cell phone. He turns on the lamp and sleepily feels around on his dresser for it. After finding it, he answers)
Jon: Hello?
Doc Boy: Jon, it’s your brother. (Doc Boy is calling from the couch in his living room) Sorry to wake you up at this hour. When you were here, you said something about the three most wonderful words in the world, but you didn’t say what the words were!
Jon: Snore! Yawn! (He rolls over onto his back) “I love you.”
Doc Boy: Well, I love you too, Jon, but what are the three words? (It takes a moment, but he figures it out) Ahhhhh, (He raises his finger) I get it.
Jon: Talk to you in the morning. (He puts his phone back and goes back to sleep) Sigh. Snore! (Doc Boy scratches his head, pondering what his brother said)
Doc Boy: “I love you…” yeah. That might be nice to hear once in a while.
(The next morning, a taxi screeches to a stop in front of Jon’s house. Someone rings the doorbell, but judging by the window in the door, it’s Doc Boy)
Jon: I’ll get it!
Garfield: (from elsewhere) Of course you will. (Jon opens the door and sees his brother holding a suitcase)
Jon: Oh, Doc Boy! (He enters)
Doc Boy: I thought about what you said. You’re right, I NEED a woman (Jon closes the door behind him) in my life.
Jon: Excellent!
Doc Boy: And the best place to find one is in the city. I had my friend Elmer drop me off, and he’s going to be watching my farm for me. I’m going to stay with you until I find the love of my life. (He turns around, but then remembers something) Ya-oh,
Jon and Doc Boy: And don’t call me (you) Doc Boy. (Doc Boy points at Jon, who in return holds his finger up)
Jon: Right.
(Later that day, Doc Boy is in the kitchen preparing some food. From the viewers’ left to right are Jon, Garfield, and Odie, all eagerly awaiting what Doc Boy is making, and all holding a fork and a knife in each hand/paw)
Jon: He said that as long as he’s staying with us, he INSISTS on cooking.
Doc Boy: Here you go, (Jon, Garfield, and Odie all grin, though Garfield has his sinister, triangular teeth instead of his normal grin. Doc Boy steps out of the kitchen with a large pot in his hands) a nice healthy farm dish,
Garfield: Laughs
Doc Boy: (continuing) dandelion and wheat grass soup! (He sets the pot on the table. Both pets hop onto the table to get a look inside, and Jon also peers into it)
Jon: Ah! (What they see is a bubbling black goo resembling tar)
Jon and Garfield: Eugh… (They are both repulsed, and so is Odie, although he doesn’t make a grossed-out remark, but instead just looks disgusted)
(Later that night, Doc Boy makes himself at home by hogging the TV from Jon and the pets)
Man on TV: To grow proper rutabagas, you need (Cut to inside. Doc Boy is watching intensely to the farm show, while the main trio are assembled on the chair, bored out of their minds) well-prepared soil
Jon: Moan…
Man on TV: (continuing) in a sheltered area (Doc Boy takes notes)
Garfield: Moan…
Man on TV: (continuing) with full sun. (Jon and the pets are starting to drift off)
Doc Boy: That’s good to know. You don’t mind me watching my farm programs, do ya?
Jon, Garfield, and Odie: Yawn! (The Flabby Tabby sits upright)
Jon: No. (He and Garfield slightly shake their heads)
Doc Boy: Good, ‘cause there’s a five-hour special on later about different kinds of shovels.
Jon, Garfield, and Odie: YAH! (They look like they are in shock)
(Later that night, they are all asleep. Well, Doc Boy is sleeping soundly on the couch. He snores so loudly that it’s keeping everyone else up)
Doc Boy: SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE! (Upstairs, Jon is having a breakdown trying to catch some Z’s)
Jon: Scowl! Grunt! (He wraps his head with his pillow. Garfield and Odie are having similar struggles)
Odie: Bark! Bark! (The Tubby Tabby walks up to him) Whimpers
Garfield: We have to help that man meet someone (He has mugs on his ears to dry and deaden the sound) so we can get Doc Boy outta here!
Odie: Ugh. Uh-huh! (He nods in agreement, looking just as exasperated as Garfield)
(The next morning, Doc Boy is getting ready to try and meet some women. Jon slowly descends the stairs)
Doc Boy: See you later, Jon, I'm going to town! (He points with his thumb. Jon waves, but then falls asleep right there on the stairs)
Jon: Snore (Doc Boy leaves the house. Garfield and Odie spy on him from behind the bushes on the side of the house)
Garfield: Scoff. (In the city, Doc Boy scans the streets for a potential mate. The pets follow from the other side of the street) Pants (He soon spots someone)
Doc Boy: Ho! (A brown-haired woman with a purple shirt is drinking something at a bus stop)
Woman 1: Mm… (Doc Boy races across the street to meet her. The pets watch from behind a nearby car)
Doc Boy: Hi there. Gee, (He scratches his head) I seem to have lost my Nobel Peace prize somewhere around here. (He taps his head)
Garfield: Oh no. (He grabs his head)
Odie: Whine
Garfield: He’s just going to walk up to strangers and try to strike up a conversation?
Odie: Mutters
Garfield: Huh? You’re asking what could happen?
Odie: (quietly) Mm.
Doc Boy: Oh well. I have several more at home. Say, I was wondering if… (He jumps on one end of the bench at the bus stop, causing the other end to fling upwards like a see-saw, sending the woman into the air slightly. She is rather peeved, and Garfield facepalms)
Garfield: That. (He points)
Woman 1: Roar! (She storms away, leaving Doc Boy dejected)
Doc Boy: Dohhhh!
Garfield: You can’t just
Odie: Mm-mm. (He shakes his head no)
Garfield: (continuing) approach strangers like that, it’s rude! (He turns to see what Doc Boy is doing now) Oh wait… (He points, and Odie turns his attention to Doc Boy. He walks down the street and stumbles upon a clothing store)
Doc Boy: Oh! (He goes inside, and the pets follow, hiding behind a light pole)
Garfield: This is promising!
Odie: Questioning mutter
Garfield: He’s figuring out that there may be something wrong with that “just fell off the tractor” look. Heh. (He grins. Odie lets his tongue out and wags his tail) He’s going in to buy himself a new outfit! Odie, this is great! (He hops around excitedly. Doc Boy then emerges with a yellow-and-red chessboard print jacket and a yellow bow tie, along with socks that match the jacket)
Odie: Gag! (He sticks his tongue out in disgust. The fat feline feels flabbergasted)
Garfield: Gasp! Hey, that’s not a bad outfit (He points) if you wanna look like Binky the Clown. (He recoils at the thought of Binky and then addresses the audience) Anyone out there remember Binky? (Garfield pauses for a beat) Yeah, I didn't think so. (He shrugs)
(The pets follow Doc Boy as he heads into the park, reading a newspaper)
Doc Boy: (reading) “7 foot tall lady wrestler, (The Flabby Tabby and big-hearted beagle peek around the entrance at him) age 70 who plays the bagpipes seeking male, any age, who enjoys watching bread go stale.” Hmmmmm, (Both pets duck) not for me. (He tosses the newspaper away)
Odie: Moan… (Doc Boy then sees a blonde woman, dressed in blue athletic wear, tying her shoe with one hand and holding her doberman’s leash in the other)
Woman 2: Hums Oh! Ooh. (Seeing another opportunity, he races over to shoot his shot. Garfield and Odie follow)
Garfield: Grunt! (He and the pup hide themselves in the bushes) Grunt!
Doc Boy: Excuse me, miss, may I (He points up) hold your fine dog for you while you tie your shoelace?
Woman 2: Why that would be very nice of you. Here. (She hands him the Doberman’s leash) Keep a good grip on him. He gets very upset when he sees a cat. (The Tubby Tabby hops out of his hiding place into the open)
Garfield: Hey! (He points) She’s actually talking to him! (Odie starts panting) Ooh, that’s a good sign. (While Garfield is distracted, the Doberman spots him)
Doberman: Grrrrr!
Garfield: Heh. Ooh! (He winces in terror)
Doberman: GRRRRRRR! (He shakes angrily. Doc Boy and the woman notice)
Garfield: Nervous chuckle (He puts his paws behind his back and slips away on his twinkle toes. The Doberman won’t let him get away, however)
Doberman: Bark, bark, bark! (He takes off, dragging Doc Boy with him) Barking
Doc Boy: Hey!
Odie: Gasp! (He winces in horror of what might happen to Garfield) Whimpers (He zips away after them, and so does the doberman’s owner)
Woman 2: Gasp! (The dog chases the cat down the street, barking and snarling as he goes. Doc Boy tries in vain to get him to heel)
Doc Boy: Stop! WHOAAAAAAA!
Garfield: Whimpers
Doberman: Bark, bark!
Doc Boy: Stop! Stop!
Garfield: YAHHH! (They pass a man carrying a basket. Their momentum causes the man to spin in place. The basket lands on his head as Odie and the woman follow) YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (He runs across the street, Doberman and Doc Boy right behind. A car has to abruptly halt so as to not run over them) YAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Doc Boy: Stop!
Garfield: YOWWWWWWWL! (He leaps onto a light pole and quickly shuffles up it)
Doberman: Bark, bark, bark, bark!
Garfield: Whimpers Down boy! (He waves his paw at Doberman) Mustn’t chomp the kitty!
Doberman: Snarl! Bark, bark, bark, bark! (The dog’s owner runs up)
Woman 2: Give me that! (She swipes the leash from Doc Boy’s grasp)
Doc Boy: Hey, wait! (She storms off, the Doberman suddenly calm, cool, and collected, as if nothing had happened. Odie runs up and sees Garfield on the light pole) Would you like to go out with me sometime? Sigh… (With the coast clear of any dogs trying to attack him, Garfield gets down from the pole)
Garfield: Heh.
Odie: Whimper (He is happy that his friend is OK and gives him some affectionate licks) Slurp! Slurp! Slurp!
Garfield: Yuck! (Despite the initial disgust from Odie’s wet tongue, it slowly grows on him and he shows a small smile and a comforted sigh) Hmm…
Doc Boy: (dejectedly) Hi, Garfield. I'm not doing so well with women. I need a magic potion that will make them like me. Sigh…
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: Aye-yi-yi. (He scratches and shakes his head) This guy doesn’t get it. There ARE no magic potions!
Odie: Uh-uh! (He nods)
Garfield: (continuing, he points at the ground) It’s just a matter of people liking each other.
Doc Boy: Hey…
Garfield: Huh? (Both pets turn to see Doc Boy looking at an ad in a window for some cologne)
Doc Boy: (reading) “Try Philipe’s cologne, makes men irresistible to women!” (The poster has a handsome-looking man front and center, and two women with hearts above them in the background) Sounds like just what I need! (He holds his finger up and runs inside to buy some. Garfield and Odie run up, but are unable to intervene)
Garfield and Odie: Pant
Garfield: (to Odie) THAT kind of thing NEVER… (Doc Boy leaves, cologne in hand)
Doc Boy: One whiff of this and the ladies will LOVE me. (He sprays some on himself and then puts it away. It doesn’t take long to work. A blonde woman who was walking up the street smells the cologne and approaches, much to the pets’ shock)
Woman 3: What is that WONDERFUL smell? Is it you? Sniff! It-it’s you! (She hugs Doc Boy. Soon, other women swarm around him)
Women: What is that fragrance? Oh you smell so divine! Overlapping chatter (The pets watch as women flock to Doc Boy like moths to a light)
Garfield: Whimper (He winces as another woman walks up to Doc Boy. He is soon flanked by about 10 women)
Doc Boy: Ladies, please, I'm from the farm! Don’t get too excited. (He takes off)
Women: Wha? (Doc Boy runs by the pets, and is closely followed by all the women and even a cow. An actual cow, like on a dairy farm. The pets also pursue)
Doc Boy: Pants Please, ladies, I'm outnumbered! (He hides behind a tree. Most of the women and the cow run by)
Cow: Moooooo! (The first woman he met on the street runs up)
Woman 3: There you are, you wonderful-smelling creature! You’re mine, all mine!
Doc Boy: Yes, I'm yours, (He points at her) all yours! Let’s go out to dinner some night. Where would you like to go?
Woman 3: Anywhere that I can smell you. (Doc Boy is then tapped on the shoulder)
Doc Boy: Gasp! (A very buff, very angry man glares at him)
Woman 3: Oh! Henry! (Garfield and Odie run up. Henry grabs Doc Boy)
Henry: What are you doing with my girlfriend?
Garfield: Gasp! (Both he and Odie cover their eyes with their paws and ears, respectively, so as to not see Henry clobber Doc Boy)
(Later, Jon drives his brother back to the farm. The pets ride in the backseat)
Jon: I’m really sorry you couldn’t find your soulmate, Doc Boy. Maybe you need to give it more than one day. (Doc Boy has a black eye courtesy of Henry)
Doc Boy: (sadly) Sigh Or maybe I'm just meant to be alone. And don’t call me… you know. (They arrive back on the farm. Gloria is waiting for them with a bouquet of roses in her hand. Doc Boy walks up to her) Gloria? What brings you here? I didn’t call for a pickup.
Gloria: We have a date, remember?
Doc Boy: (while mimicking Gloria’s Southern accent) A date?
Gloria: Yes, you sent me these GORGEOUS flowers with the NICEST card! (She reads the card) “Dear Gloria, please accept these modest flowers. Would you go out with me tonight to see that monster movie at the drive-in?” Oh, (She puts the card in the bouquet) I thought you’d NEVER ask me!
Doc Boy: (stammering) But… I… I…well, I… (The two hold hands and walk away together. Jon and the pets watch)
Jon: Garfield,
Garfield: Huh?
Jon: (continuing) did you use my cell phone to order flowers for Gloria and compose that cheesy invite? (The Flabby Tabby grins and nods. Odie grins, too) Nice work. (Jon gives him a thumbs-up)
Garfield: You see, Odie? You don’t have to go out and FIND happiness, (He holds his finger up) you just have to be willing to let it find YOU. (He points at the panting pup) Whoa, (He looks at the viewers) that was deep, wasn’t it?
Odie: Whoa. Mm-hmm! (He nods. Gloria runs up to them with a dozen pizzas in her hands)
Jon: Huh?
Gloria: Oh Garfield, almost forgot, here’s your delivery. (The Tubby Tabby grins, winks at the audience, takes the pizzas from her hands, and walks toward the car)
Garfield: And of course, there are OTHER ways of finding happiness. (As Jon and Odie follow the fat cat, the episode concludes)
THE END