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[Jon] "His footsteps grew

quicker and quicker

as his fears grew.

He could almost hear the

sinister eyes watching him,

eying him, and then

the creature came forth."

[thunder]

[Jon] "He ran,

but it was too late.

He found himself staring

right into the evil image of...

Count Lasagna!

The delivery man

fled for his life

as the cat moved forward and

feasted on the lasagna and..."

[man] A cat?! Lasagna?

Wait a minute, Arbuckle.

My readers will never go

for a comic  book like that.

Just listen to a little

more, Mr. Finster.

I spent a lot of time

working on this.

[Garfield] Let's see:

ham, roast beef,

eight sandwiches,

gallon of clam chowder, tuna...

[whining]

Sorry, Odie, didn't bring

enough food for you.

Arbuckle, it's late.

I've gotta get home.

Just hear a little more

of it, sir, please?

Pretty please?

[Garfield] Doesn't he

have any dignity?

[whimpering]

You want something?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

My readers want

mutants and ninjas

and ninjas and mutants.

Let me tell you a little

more of the story.

See, this is where

Count Lasagna lived,

the castle of Count Dracula.

[boss] Dracula?

[Jon] Dracula. The most feared

name across the land.

Count Lasagna was his cat.

[wolves howling]

"Dracula slept by day in his coffin, but, when the moon came out..."

Arise, Count Lasagna. Bluh. The moon is calling us forth.

[Count Lasagna protesting]

Bluh!

You are going out to prowl, Count Lasagna.

[Count Lasagna] Hey, I had a hard day's sleep. Bluh.

[Jon] "Everyone feared him,

but none more so

than the people at..."

[phone rings]

[man] Yello! Transylvania

House of Lasagna, we deliver.

Uh-huh. Two orders

with meat sauce.

Please, no!

We'll have it there

in under 30 minutes.

No! Don't send me out

there, he'll get me.

Just like he's gotten all

the other delivery men.

Come on, he's just a cat.

I'll wear a

wreath of garlic,

that's supposed

to keep them away.

Actually, he loves garlic.

Here, try this

wreath of raisins.

But... but... I

have a wife and kids.

[Jon] "For weeks

now, Count Lasagna

had spread his wave of

terror over the city.

No one was safe:

pizzerias, spaghetti takeouts,

even sidewalk macaroni vendors."

[bat screeching]

"None could avoid the

cravings of Count Lasagna."

Look into my eyes! Bluh!

Please! No! No!

I said look into my eyes.

They're very big

and hard to miss.

[bats screeching]

Give me the lasagna, bluh!

[man] Yes, Master.

[cackles]

[Jon] "The villagers were

outraged by their inability

to get any Italian food."

Hey! Hey! Let us

storm the castle

and destroy the

evil Count Lasagna!

[shouting]

[Jon] "Soon, the villagers were,

indeed, storming the castle."

[wind whistling]

Count Lasagna!

Bluh! The villagers

are storming the castle!

[Count Lasagna] The villagers

always storm the castle.

Haven't you ever seen

a monster movie? Bluh!

They are bringing a stake.

A steak? Tell them

I want it medium rare,

with some sautéed

mushrooms. Bluh!

Not that kind of stake.

Oh.

They are here.

We must flee for our

lives, Count Lasagna.

We have no lives,

but we must flee anyway.

[Jon] "They always knew it

would someday come to this,

and so they had

their escape all planned.

It looked like they

would get away,

but one of the villagers

had a fiendish idea."

I know how to capture

that Count Lasagna!

[Jon] "The villagers knew

Count Lasagna well,

knew that his bat-like

radar senses

would home in on anything

in the vicinity

that had tomato, garlic,

and more than 400 calories."

Count Lasagna! Come

back! It is a trick.

A trick!

[bat screeches]

[Jon] "That was how they

caught Count Lasagna.

The villagers put him

on a low starch diet and--"

Enough, Arbuckle.

I have heard quite enough

of this silly idea of yours.

It would make

a great comic book.

It's too far-out!

A cat that sleeps all day

and devours every bit

of lasagna in the city?

[Garfield] What's so

far-out about that?

Come on, guys, let's go.

Well, thank you for

listening, Mr. Finster.

I know I kept you late.

Don't waste my time

with any more silly

vampire stories, Arbuckle.

[chuckles]

Vampires, cats

that turn into bats.

I can't believe the nonsense

some people expect

folks to believe.

Ah, the moon is full.

[diabolical laughter]

Now, wolf people,

that makes sense!

[howls]

[laughs madly]