|
"Halt! Officer Odie orders you to stop and help!"
This page is in serious need of a checkup!
Once the criteria is met, remove the {{Checkup Required}} tag. |
Jon: Afternoon, Mr. Post.
Herman Post: [yelling] It's you, Mr. Arbuckle. Sorry, I thought it was your cat, well, you know. Here's your mail.
Jon: Thank you, Mr. Post.
[murmuring]
Jon: [yells] This bill from the credit card company is ridiculous. How could I spend $300 on uncooked spaghetti?!
Garfield: Wait til we get the bill for the meat sauce.
Jon: There's only one thing to do.
Garfield: You're gonna give me a haircut?
Jon: I'm cutting up my credit cards. From now on, I pay cash for everything I buy. If I don't have the cash, I don't buy it.
Garfield: Gosh, seems kinda unAmerican.
Jon: I'll throw the pieces away and what happened to my waste basket?
Garfield: I don't know. It was fine last night when I did my three hour impression of Ricky Ricardo.
[drumming]
♪ Babaloo, babaloo♪
Jon: Well, this is a good time to start my all cash policy. Let's go buy a new wastebasket. Come on guys. Guys? [Sighs] I'll wait. We'll go to that new mall. Here we are. Entrance to mall. Level eight full, use level nine. This section theater parking only. There doesn't seem to be a space on this level. I'll try one up.
Garfield: Wake me when you find a space or we stop for gas, whichever occurs first.
Jon: This is my space. I made it.
Announcer on PA: Please remember you are in aisle K, level 17, blue section.
Jon: Aisle K, level 17, blue.
Garfield: Better write it down.
Jon: I know, you think I should write it down, but when I get a fact in my head, you know what happens to it?
Garfield: It dies of loneliness. Wave goodbye to the car, Odie. We'll never see it again as long as we live.
[barks]
Jon: Aisle K, level 17, blue.
Woman: CJ says she's 19, but when she wears green,
Jon: Aisle K, level 17, blue.
Man: She's been saying she's 19 for 12 years. She's too yellow to level with you.
Jon: Aisle K, level 17 blue.
Woman: I'm going to tell her ASAP that if she doesn't quit the PTA, I'm going to see red.
Jon: Aisle, uh, uh.
[ding]
Jon: Aisle, aisle, I'll be looking for the car for awhile I guess, but right now, I'm gonna find a new black wastebasket.
Garfield: Come on, Odie. Let's go find somethin' edible.
[panting]
Jon: Wastebasket World. This looks like it.
Macaroni salesman: Step up folks. Try a free sample of Murray's Microwave Macaroni. Yes sir, here's your free sample. Hey, bring that back.
[wheels squeaking]
[crash]
Garfield: You said they were free! (to Odie) Come on, Odie. I'm not lettin' free food get away that easily.
"Wastebasket World" saleswoman: One star for a black deluxe model. That will be $9.47.
Jon: Here you go.
"Wastebasket World" saleswoman: What is that?
Jon: That's cash.
"Wastebasket World" saleswoman: [laughs] Very funny, sir. Now, could I please have your credit card?
Jon: I don't have a credit card. I cut all mine up.
"Wastebasket World" saleswoman: [gasps] You did what to them?
Jon: I cut them up. Now, would you please take this money and let me have my change?
"Wastebasket World" saleswoman: Uh, just, just one moment, sir. This is highly unusual. [she calls someone] He wants to pay with cash. No, I never heard of such a thing either.
Jon: [whistling "Friends Are There", while holding his wastebasket]
"Wastebasket World" saleswoman: All right, I'll stall him while you call the police. Just one moment, sir. Hurry, he may be dangerous.
Macaroni salesman: Free samples. Free samples of Murry's Microwave Macaroni. One to a customer.
[Odie grumbling]
Garfield: You're wondering what happens if the line breaks?
Odie: Mm-hmm.
Garfield: Don't worry. I can figure out some other way to get the macaroni.
[whining]
Macaroni salesman: Free samples. Step right up. Free sample, ma'am? Certainly.
[Odie grumbling]
Fishing rod man: Cat, give me back that fishing outfit.
[reel spinning]
Macaroni salesman: What are you doin' here, dog?
[slurp]
Garfield: He's a little small. You think I should throw him back?
[crash]
Garfield: Okay, I'm through kiddin' around. Time for the heavy a*tillery.
Detective #1: Now, let's go through this one more time Arbuckle. Where are your credit cards?
Jon: [gasps] I told you. I cut them up.
Detective #1: Come on, fella. You can do better than that.
Jon: I'm telling you. I don't have any credit cards. I just wanted a wastebasket. That's all. Just a wastebasket. [crying]
Detective #2: This just came back from the lab, chief. They ran every test on it.
Detective #1: What'd they find out?
Detective #2: No doubt about it they say. It's money.
Detective #1: Money, huh?
Detective #2: The green stuff.
Detective #1: Moola.
Detective #2: Cabbage.
Detective #1: Mazuma.
Detective #2: Somolians.
Detective #1: Long green.
Detective #2: You bet.
Detective #1: Okay, Arbuckle. You can go.
Jon: Can I have my wastebasket?
Detective #1: Here, but I'm keeping my eye on you fella. So watch it.
Garfield: You just skate down and grab some macaroni.
- [Odie] Uh-uh.
Garfield: They're not dangerous. You just get on it like this. And push yourself forward like this. See, simple?
[Odie yells]
Garfield: Help. Going down. Somebody, anybody. This was not a good idea. Beep, beep. Bonsai. Hot dogging cat coming through. Help.
- Wah!
Macaroni salesman: Free samples. Macaroni.
[slurps]
Garfield: What a lousy last meal. All I need now is for Jon to come up and yell, Garfield.
Jon: Garfield.
Garfield: That was all I needed.
Jon: Whatever he did, I'll pay for it. Here.
Macaroni salesman: What is that?
Jon: [yells] That's it. I give up. Where do I get a credit card? Give me applications for every credit card in the place. You guys might as well walk home. Here, take all my cash. I'll never use it again.
Garfield: Come on, Odie. We'll stop off and pick up a pizza or nine for dinner.
[The ending theme plays]
Garfield: Don't worry. Jon'll be home soon. How could he forget that the car's in aisle K, level 17, blue section?
Jon: Maybe it was aisle J, level 19, green section? Or was it aisle A, level 13, orange section? No, it was aisle H, level 14, plaid section. No, aisle G, level, is this the right parking garage? Okay.