Astrocat/Transcript

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Overview

Transcript

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• Hit the Buzzer, Win a Cookie! Host: And now, it’s time for more of our game show, Hit the Buzzer, Win a Cookie!
• [The screen focuses on a lamp for a few seconds before panning over to Garfield and Odie, who are sitting in the recliner watching TV. Garfield has a bowl of crackers on the armrest and is eating large pawfuls from it.]
• Hit the Buzzer, Win a Cookie! Host: All right, this is Elaine Fransted of East Orange, New Jersey. It’s time to hit the buzzer and win a cookie! On your mark, get set, go! [buzzer noise from TV] You win a cookie!
• [As the game unfolds, Odie’s facial expression is a mixture of quizzicality, yet mild amusement and even fixation. He reaches for the crackers on the other side of Garfield, only for the latter to slap his paw away. Odie briefly looks disappointedly at his friend, before shrugging it off and going back to watching the show. The game continues:]
• Hit the Buzzer, Win a Cookie! Host: [buzzer] You win another cookie! [the studio audience begins to cheer wildly as Elaine hits the buzzer again] You win another cookie!
• Garfield: [to the viewers] And this is on the Educational Channel.
• Odie: [pointing at the screen] Hmmm?
• [The show goes to static for a few seconds before a news reporter appears on the screen. Behind him is a display on which a shuttle’s route from Earth to the Moon has been detailed.]
• Reporter: We interrupt Hit the Buzzer, Win a Cookie! to bring you coverage of the latest space mission.
• Garfield: Hey, where are your priorities, fella?!
• Reporter: The astronauts of spacecraft Andromeda 7 are only minutes away from landing on the Moon. Let’s listen in on them.
• [The news camera cuts away to footage of Andromeda 7 entering the Moon’s atmosphere.]
• Buzz #1: We are making our descent, Buzz.
• Buzz #2: Thank you, Buzz. All systems are go. Right, Buzz?
• Buzz #3: Roger, Buzz, and I agree with Buzz over there.
• Garfield: [to fourth wall, thumb-points at screen] There’s some sort of law about astronauts having to be named “Buzz”.
• [Odie smiles at Garfield. Cut back to the reporter, who is now sitting at a desk in a room full of computers as a picture of an American flag with a big star overlayed on it is displayed to his left.]
• Reporter: Today, these heroes join the ranks of such great space explorers as [photographs of the astronauts are displayed as they are read off] Henry “Buzz” Finorke, Freddy “Buzz” Lunchbox...
• Garfield: See?
• Odie: [becoming confused by all the Buzzes] Huh?
• Reporter: ...and perhaps the most heroic of them all, Buchanan the Cat!
• [On the screen is a cat in an spacesuit who looks just like Garfield. This confuses Odie further and he looks at Buchanan’s picture in shock.]
• Odie: Huh? [looks at Garfield, then back at screen in disbelief] Er—...huh?!
• Garfield: Didn’t you know? My Great Uncle Buchanan was the first cat in space. [climbs down from chair] It happened back in 1958, back when no man had ventured into outer space. [walks over to a bookshelf and selects a green book marked “PHOTO ALBUM” from it, flipping through the pages until he finds a certain photo] It was a dangerous job, true, but, being my ancestor, I think you can guess the kind of heroic and brave reaction he had.
• [Odie walks over and also looks at the book. Garfield points to a black-and-white picture of Buchanan standing on a table next to some test tubes, captioned “BUCHANAN IN A LAB". The camera pulls in on the photograph, which becomes color and animated as we flash back to the scene in 1958. Almost no sooner than that does Buchanan jump off the table and run away in panic.]
• Buchanan: Help!! Let me outta here!!!
• [The scientist in the room, who has wild white hair, red glasses, and crazed eyes, and is holding a clipboard, points in the direction of the terrified cat.]
• Scientist: After him! Catch that pussycat! [Nice double-entendre.]
• [The scientist's two assistants, the shorter one possessing blond spiky hair and a purple bowtie, and the taller one orange spiky hair and a pink bowtie (both wear identical glasses), give chase. Buchanan skids to a stop before a locked high-security bolted steel door and starts pounding on it.]
• Buchanan: Let me out!! I don't want to go to the moon! [he turns around, sees the men approaching, and resumes pounding] I don't even like going to the laundromat! [the assistants catch up to him, and, each of them holding one of his front paws, carry him back to the table] Please, guys. Would you want to be shot into space in a rocket built by the lowest bidder?
• [He is slammed onto the table; the scientist then walks up, holding a tongue depressor.]
• Scientist: First I will examine the pussycat.
• Buchanan: Why don't you go to the m—ahhhh! [the scientist forces the depressor into his mouth and examines his throat] Ack! [sticks out his tongue, then smiles] Hey, somebody ate the ice cream off that stick.
• [The scientist drags Buchanan off the table and carries him off. Buchanan struggles and kicks in his grip.]
• Scientist: Now we shall test your reaction to the change in gravity.